By admin 
It wasn’t exactly love at first sight.
Rescued Tabbies Shelby and Tomiko took more than a year to be able to share the same space.
It wasn’t until their pet parents, Debbie Ooi and Jeffrey Louis, took them on a road trip in October 2022 that the cats finally bonded.
“We believe it was because they had to be together in the car with us for hours at a time,” says Ooi.
Back home, their bond solidified. “They slept next to each other, they would sit together and watch the backyard for birds, squirrels, and chipmunks,” says Ooi. They ate side by side and, when Ooi worked from home, “they would both curl up next to each other in their respective beds.”
Sadly, Shelby suffered a series of serious health issues and passed last June.
A Cat Grieves the Loss of Her Friend
Ooi and Louis—whose “fur kids” are taken everywhere possible with the help of cat backpacks and an in-car litterbox—took Shelby’s death hard, but three-year-old Tomiko (called Tumi for short) seemed devastated.
“Tumi kept running around looking for Shelby,” says Ooi. “She slept a lot. Then she started meowing whenever she was alone. Over the next several weeks, she started following us everywhere.”
This behaviour isn’t unusual, says Dr. Jennifer Vonk, a professor in the Department of Psychology at Oakland University in Rochester, MI.
Study Looks at Whether Cats Grieve the Loss of Another Companion Animal
Vonk and her colleague, Brittany Greene, co-authored a 2024 study, surveying more than 400 North American cat owners about their cat’s behaviours after another pet sharing the same household—cat, dog, or other—died. The findings, published in a paper titled “Is companion animal loss cat-astrophic? Responses of domestic cats to the loss of another companion animal,” is a boon to anyone wondering if their cat is experiencing grief.
Researchers studied more than 400 cat owners and their pets’ behaviour after another animal died in the same household.
Vonk confirms that the behaviour Ooi and Louis reported was “consistent with what we might expect if cats were saddened by the loss of their companions.” Specific behaviours Vonk mentions that indicate grief in cats include: “engaged in more hiding, looking for the lost companion, seeking attention from caregivers, and less playing.”
How Long Do Cats Grieve For?
The strength of reactions from the surviving cats were predicted by how much time they had typically spent interacting with the deceased animal and the nature of their relationship. This, says Vonk, “is what you would expect if they were capable of sadness following the death.”
“Cats that had lived with the deceased animal for longer spent more time appearing to look for them after they died,” says Vonk. “Otherwise, the amount of time they spent together in an average day and whether they were considered to have a positive relationship seemed more important than how long they had been together.” Whether they were related did not seem to matter.
Famous Cat Grieves the Loss of Her Canine Friend
Denver-based photographer Cynthia Bennett and her partner Andre Sibilsky can attest. They run the Instagram account @henrythecoloradodog, documenting the adventures of Henry (and now Pan) and his bestie, Baloo the cat, for their 2.4 million followers.
When Henry died from T-cell lymphoma in March 2022, “Baloo ran from window to window looking for him while screaming,” Bennett shared with Modern Cat in a 2023 interview. “When he wasn’t doing that, he would bury himself under things, making it super hard to find him. It was one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve had to watch.”
A couple of weeks after Henry’s death, his family adopted Pan, a Husky/Malamute/Great Pyrenees mix as a friend for Baloo, who had stopped eating completely. (“It got to the point where we were considering seeking medical help,” says Bennett.) “We like to say Baloo picked his puppy. He got to meet a few and Pan ran up to him and licked his face and Baloo leaned in. Baloo never did this with any other dog but Henry, so we knew he really liked him.” Adoption complete, the couple took the pair back to their hotel where Baloo, to the relief of his pet parents, ate a meal. “Andre and I started crying because Pan literally was saving Baloo,” says Bennett. They are now best friends, although Bennett acknowledges it’s a different relationship.
Cat Searches For Feline Friend That Passed
As for Tumi, “I think she is still waiting for [Shelby] to come home,” says Ooi. “A few weeks ago, I pulled out Shelby’s backpack…and [Tumi] quickly poked her head in the backpack to see if Shelby was there… she still looks into the areas that Shelby liked to hide or sleep in.”
Cat Owner Reactions to the Grief Study
Cat owners have found the study validating. Many people who read the reports said it confirmed the concern they had for their remaining animals, says Vonk. “It was reassuring that researchers were taking these concerns seriously and investigating them. People have been incredibly moved by the findings.”
For cat owners, it has been affirming to see that cats are not these detached aloof creatures that non-cat-owners sometimes characterize them to be, Vonk says.
Greene seconds this, noting that cats have been widely viewed as distant and detached. “I hope that this study can alter that mindset, instead demonstrating that cats may actually be more invested in the emotional bonds they form as part of a social lifestyle than originally meets the eye.”
Should You Get a New Pet After a Loss?
Whether owners should get a “replacement” pet to fill the void should be considered on a case-by-case basis.
“It is not possible to have a firm recommendation that will fit all cases,” says Dr. Jennifer Vonk. “I think for young animals that benefit from a companion to play with, it may be helpful. For older animals that may not adjust well to change, it may just add to their stress. For owners who are grieving, this may interfere with their ability to bond with a new animal, so that should be considered as well.”
This article originally appeared in the award-winning Modern Cat magazine. Subscribe today!