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A few weeks before her daughter’s fourth birthday, one mom slipped a bright red Starburst into a lunchbox. It wasn’t part of any grand plan—it wasn’t optimized or color-coded—but it was hers, and it made her child smile. In that small, simple moment lies an important truth: parenting is about presence, not perfect execution.
Today, apps and AI tools are everywhere, promising to make parenting easier. They can plan birthday parties, draft lunchbox notes, or even suggest scripts for tricky conversations with kids. On the surface, it’s tempting. Who wouldn’t want a little extra help when, according to the Surgeon General’s, 41% of parents say they’re often so stressed they can’t function?
But here’s the truth: the small gestures, the messy moments, the human connections—these are what children remember. These are what make them feel deeply known, loved, and cared for.
The allure of AI in parenting
It’s easy to see why these tools are taking off. Dr. Becky Kennedy’s parenting app Good Inside, which includes an AI chatbot for tough parenting moments, already has more than 90,000 paying members. Other apps claim to handle everything from bedtime struggles to calendar chaos. For parents juggling work, household tasks, and the endless stream of school messages, a digital helper can feel like a lifeline.
Yet while AI can juggle logistics, it cannot replicate intuition. It cannot know that a child prefers hugs in the morning over bedtime, or that slipping in a favorite snack can turn a tough day around. Those small, seemingly insignificant choices—rooted in love and observation—are what build trust and connection.
Related: Why parenting in 2025 feels much harder than it did in the ‘90s—this mom’s take hits home
What AI can’t replace
The apps may be able to streamline tasks, but they can’t touch the heart of parenting. Here’s what no algorithm can do:
1. Human attention and presence
A robot can plan a party, but it cannot sit beside a child as they frost cupcakes with too many sprinkles or beam at their homemade costume. It can’t laugh with them over clumsy dance moves or notice the joy in their eyes when the candles are lit. Imperfect as these moments are, they’re profoundly meaningful.
2. Imperfect, shared experiences
Life with children is messy, unpredictable, and beautiful. Crooked birthday cakes, mismatched party hats, last-minute living-room dance parties—these imperfections teach kids that joy comes from connection, not perfection. AI can’t create those memories because they grow out of presence, patience, and laughter.
3. The parenting village
Parenting doesn’t happen in isolation. Friends, family, and neighbors are the ones who lend advice, share resources, or simply sit with us in the chaos. Rebecca Winthrop, a senior fellow and the director of the Center for Universal Education at the Brookings Institution, told The Atlantic: “A chatbot’s not going to feed your cat or take your kid to school when you have a work call.” Leaning on community is what builds resilience.
A gentle reminder to parents
Parents don’t need perfectly drafted scripts or AI-curated plans to be enough. They don’t need to “do more” for a child to feel loved. Attention, laughter, and imperfect gestures—slipping a favorite snack into a lunchbox, reading one more bedtime story, dancing in the kitchen—are what children will carry with them.
Sometimes, the most powerful choice is to simplify, scale back, and focus on connection rather than optimization. If AI helps manage logistics, fine—but what children truly need is us.
Related: How AI can be a parenting tool for teachable moments
Try this instead of outsourcing
Big changes aren’t necessary. Start with tiny, human-centered acts that matter more than any algorithm:
- Pack a child’s favorite snack on a tough day.
- Linger for one extra bedtime story or snuggle.
- Say yes to a spontaneous dance break, even if the dishes are still in the sink.
These small, ordinary moments tell children: I see you. I know you. I love you.
What kids will remember
Parenting is about showing up. The apps may promise to make family life easier, but the heart of raising a child is human, not digital. No chatbot, no calendar hack, no optimized script can replace what only parents can give: presence, attention, and love.
So the next time you slip a candy into a lunchbox, laugh at a crooked cake, or celebrate with mismatched party hats, remember: those imperfect moments are the ones children will never forget. And in them, parents are always more than enough.
Related: The mom using AI to cut 97% of her mental load—and find more time for her kids
Sources:
- The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health & Well-Being of Parents. 2024. “Parents Under Pressure”
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