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It must be summer, because we’ve been getting a lot of questions about tent sex. What positions are most ideal? What if one person is more keen on the idea than another? How can it be done while avoiding an if-Yellowjackets-was-real level yeast infection?
Well, as someone who isn’t outdoorsy per se, but is dating a Canadian, I’m here to answer all these questions and more. Camping is a lesbian classic and if you plan to partake in this grand tradition, you deserve to have the sex you desire while partaking.
The first thing I want to emphasize is that the goal of tent sex doesn’t have to be recreating the normal sex you have in a new location. Now, I’m not going to say any act is off-limits — the Brokeback boys didn’t have anal with just some spit and a dream for me to be setting strict rules around what sex can or cannot happen in a tent — but the restrictions of the tent can allow for new opportunities. This is especially true if you’re in a tent on a campground surrounded by other tents. The restrictions of movement and sound can be part of the fun! Maybe you don’t want to deal with a lot of cleanup in the limited space so you opt for some feral dry humping. (An inaccurate name if done well, but if you have a change of underwear, cleanup can stay easy.) Or maybe you’re cold and want to get completely naked in one sleeping bag, do whatever you can in a zipped up sweat sack, and then both move over to the other sleeping bag for a dry sleep. The possibilities are endless!
If you are going to have more traditional sex, just make sure to be prepared. Unscented wipes and plenty of clean towels — paper or regular — go a long way. Before and after. It also might be even more important to make sure the outer flap is left open to allow for air flow.
Personally, I think the hard ground is hot and kind of the whole point of tent sex, but if you’re someone who only likes sex while completely comfortable, then it might be important to have extra blankets for cushion. Or if your tent is big enough you can have sex standing up!
For some people, tent sex will never be appealing. And if you find yourself in a mixed outdoorsy relationship, this may be a fantasy that remains unfulfilled. Like any sex act, this is something that has to be discussed between you and your partner or partners.
If you want to have outdoor sex, but your partner isn’t interested in the confinement of a tent, there are other options. A lot depends on how secluded you are and how nervous you are about getting caught and potentially facing legal repercussions. But! My partner and I once had sex by a lake on one of those big canvas folding chairs and if anyone had walked by we could’ve played it off like I was just sitting on their lap.
We did realize afterward we’d been watched the whole time by a frog though so being outside the tent does result in a higher chance of animal voyeurism. For some people, that might be a bonus! Not my thing, but I do hope the frog enjoyed the show.
The peeping frog
Anyway, the last thing I’ll say is that outdoor sex can sometimes be best in small doses. I enjoy the thrill of tent sex, but I also like a daily shower. Personally, my ideal is camping for one (1) night only. Then it doesn’t matter as much how gross and sticky you get, because you can clean up properly the next day. Much respect to people who go backpacking together for weeks and fuck the whole time, but that’s just not my thing. If it’s yours and you have extra tips for longterm tent sex, feel free to share below!
Drew Burnett Gregory
Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.
Drew Burnett has written 722 articles for us.