Therapy may sound like a mainstream buzz word these days, but it’s one that really matters. Whether you’re going to therapy in-person or trying virtual therapists, it’s incredibly beneficial to have a safe space to talk things out. And lately, some versions of therapy are showing up on social media in a sort of DIY way, like “rejection therapy.” The idea behind this term all over social media is that it can be a helpful thing to do at home — and on your own — to remedy some of your anxieties, especially social anxiety. But does it work? Is rejection therapy a legit thing?

And seriously, should we all be doing it?

What is rejection therapy?

Rejection therapy is exactly what it sounds like — you’re getting therapy for your fear of rejection by purposely putting yourself in a position to be rejected. “You put yourself into a difficult situation and then you see that survive it and your anxiety goes down every time you do it,” says clinical psychologist and private owner at Best Life Behavioral Health Samantha Whiten. It can range in complexity, but Whiten says the whole point is to realize that it’s not the end of the world for someone to not like interacting with you, and rejection therapy teaches you that being embarrassed doesn’t actually hurt you in the long run.

“I believe rejection therapy was inspired by the book 100 Days of Rejection,” says licensed psychotherapist Lorain Moorehead. “Essentially, rejection therapy is exposure therapy. The goal being that repeated exposures to the stimuli, in this case rejection, reduces the sympathetic nervous system response — fight, flight, or freeze.”

How do you do rejection therapy?

The really great thing about rejection therapy, whether you’re anxious about making a phone call or nervous about going to a party on your own, is that you can build up your confidence from the safety of your own home. “A super fun one is to order something in a restaurant that they don’t serve, and power through the side-eye and annoyed response they give you,” says Whiten.

Moorehead agrees that rejection therapy can be as simple as something like that, but the big thing to consider is that it might be discouraging to make your first foray into rejection therapy a really important request. “If it ends up being a ‘no,’ there might not seem to be a reason to proceed,” she says. “I recommend beginning with lower stakes rejection offers so the person receives a variety of yeses and nos and can build from there, and process the feelings that come from both.”

If advocating for yourself more is the goal, try asking a coworker if you can join their group for lunch or reaching out to a doctor to ask questions about your health. “Or else they can be related to certain genre of challenges, such as phone-related, social media-related, and so forth. Some ideas would be calling to ask for an appointment rather than texting, asking for an option that isn’t listed or asking for an adaptation.”

And if you’re experiencing social anxiety, try inviting people to participate in a gathering or project of your own as a challenging and rewarding move. But Whiten recommends beginning any kind of rejection therapy with people that aren’t considered friends. Maybe ask a new neighbor if they’d like to walk with you one morning or ask a coworker to come with you to get a coffee. “This may seem counterintuitive, but I find that asking friends opens new challenges to process.”

Again, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. If you want to try rejection therapy because you’re anxious about asking someone on a date, don’t make that your first step. Don’t go straight to your boss and ask for a raise if that’s your biggest fear. Start small, with things that don’t matter much in the long run. Order your complicated coffee inside Starbucks rather than the app. Call the hair salon to make an appointment instead of sending your stylist a DM. Ask the mom you always see at the park if she’d like to get a coffee when your kids are done on the swings.

If you face a rejection — if the mom says no thanks, if the salon says they’re booked that day, if the barista has to ask you twice how many pumps of pumpkin you wanted — then you’ll be able to handle it in stride because you’ll know it’s truly no big deal.

As you go through rejection therapy, you’ll build up your confidence and realize that nothing you were worried about — being embarrassed, getting something wrong, feeling like you messed up — is the end of the world.

A mistake is a lesson, not a loss. It’s a temporary detour, not a dead end… as long as you learn from it.

As human beings we often make the same underlying mistakes over and over again. For example, deep down we know it’s wise to take it one step at a time, to maintain positive daily habits, and to seek out healthy living and working environments. Yet we often do the exact opposite when times get stressful and we’re under pressure.

Yes, we do the wrong things even though we know better, because the human mind has weaknesses. It becomes forgetful and insensible sometimes. And the only way to conquer these weaknesses is to practice conquering them. So today, let’s practice strengthening our minds by shining a light directly on some prevalent mistakes Marc and I have seen plaguing hundreds of our coaching clients, course students, and conference attendees over the past 15 years — three things many of us do daily that drain nearly all of our potential in life…

1. Waiting to feel more confident before taking the next step.

Countless people misinterpret how confidence works. They think confidence is something they have to possess before they can perform at their best. So they decide to wait until they feel more confident before taking the next step. But waiting around isn’t a confidence-building activity, so they never feel more confident and they never take action.

Let this be your wake-up call…

Confidence is not a prerequisite to present and future performance. Rather, confidence is a direct bi-product of past performance.

For example, if you start your day on the right foot, you’re likely to have improved confidence throughout the rest of your day. Conversely, if you start your day poorly and fall flat on your face, that prior performance will likely lower your confidence for a short time (until your confidence level inevitably cycles again).

But the real kicker is the fact that today is tomorrow’s past. Your confidence going into tomorrow is directly dependent on you taking positive action today and learning from it. And this means two things:

1. You can leverage your present actions to improve your future confidence.
2. Forcing yourself to take the next step is the first step to feeling more confident.

So whenever you catch yourself waiting around for more confidence to magically arrive before you start working on the task in front of you, remind yourself of how confidence works, and then force yourself to start before you feel ready.

Back in 2008 Marc and I started the blog (and life’s work) that would ultimately become Marc and Angel Hack Life. We didn’t know how to design a website. We didn’t know what a blog was. We didn’t even really know how to write very well. All we knew were five things:

• We recently lost two loved ones to death.
• We were grieving and struggling in our personal and professional lives.
• We needed an outlet.
• We were interested in writing, and improving our writing.
• We had not been writing enough.

How did we learn to start a website and build a blog? How did we find the confidence necessary to do so? Same way anyone else does it: bit by bit, step by step, one page at a time.

You start reading and learning. You make decisions and take a little action. You make mistakes. You learn some. You try again. You get a little better. You get a little more confident. You learn some more. You make more decisions and take more action…

And before we knew it, we were blogging daily on Marc and Angel Hack Life (and have been ever since).

This process is at the core of all effective confidence-building and goal-achieving initiatives, and it’s one of the most essential skills you need to develop to succeed in life. It doesn’t matter if you want to be a blogger, an entrepreneur, an artist, or a doctor. Learn to start before you feel ready, and you will learn how to succeed, step by step, before you even realize you’re good enough.

2. Getting caught up in big thinking paralysis.

Just as you don’t need more confidence to take the next smallest step forward, you don’t need more and more planning and overthinking either…

Stephen King once said, “Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” I have that quote taped up in my home office. It reminds me that while proper planning, strategizing and masterminding is important as you move through a project, it’s also extremely easy to lose yourself in doing so.

When our great ideas are still just concepts floating around in our minds, we tend to think really BIG. And while thinking big isn’t inherently bad, the downside is that it often makes the barrier for taking action quite high. In other words, we tend to overthink our ideas and projects to the point where they seem more complicated than they actually are, and so we stall again and again to give ourselves more time to prepare for the next step.

To avoid “big thinking paralysis,” pare your bigger ideas down into simpler, immediately testable activities. Can you trial-run the idea of a larger scale conference by hosting a series of smaller local events? Can you take an idea for a book and test it by writing several related blog posts (like Marc and I did with “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”)? Can you draw it before you build it? Can you prototype it? Once you’ve tested your idea on a smaller scale, you’ll have the insight and data you need to take your idea and project to the next level.

And along these very same lines, also remind yourself that big goals don’t make positive changes happen, small daily habits do. Because too often we obsess ourselves with a big goal — a monumental end result — but we’re completely unfocused when it comes to the habit (the small recurring steps) that ultimately makes the goal happen. And so the weight of this big unrealized goal sits heavy in the mind and brings our progress down to a crawl.

Does that sound at all familiar?

If so, it’s time to shift your daily focus AWAY from your goals. Think about this…

If you completely ignored one of your goals for the next few weeks and instead focused solely on the daily habits that reinforce this goal, would you still get positive results?

For example, if you were trying to lose weight and you ignored your goal to lose 20 pounds, and instead focused only on eating healthy and exercising each day, would you still get results?

YES, you would! Gradually you would get closer and closer to your goal without even thinking about it.

3. Working hard in unhealthy, unsupportive environments.

No matter how good your habits are, and no matter how much determination and willpower you have, if you keep yourself positioned in an environment that works against your best intentions, you will eventually succumb to that environment.

This is where so many of us who get #1 and #2 right make life-altering missteps. When we find ourselves struggling to make progress in an unhealthy environment, we somehow believe that we have no other choice — that positioning ourselves in a more supportive environment, even for short intervals, is impossible. So rather than working in a supportive environment that pushes us forward, we expend all our energy trying to pull the baggage of an unhealthy environment along with us. And eventually, despite our best efforts, we run out of energy.

The key thing to remember here is that, as a human being, your environment immensely affects you. And, consequently, one of the best uses of your energy is to consciously choose and design working and living environments for yourself that support and facilitate the outcomes you intend to achieve.

For example, if you’re trying to reduce your alcohol consumption, you must…

1. Spend less time around people that consume alcohol.
2. Spend less time in social environments that promote alcohol consumption.

Because if you don’t your willpower will eventually collapse…

“One more drink won’t hurt, right?”

Wrong!

You need to set clear boundaries, commit, and then reconfigure your environment to make the achievement of your commitment possible.

Let’s think about some other common examples:

• If you want to lose weight, your best bet is to spend more time in healthy environments with people who eat healthy and exercise on a regular basis.
• If you want to become a paid, professional comedian, your best bet is to surround yourself with professional comedians, do local gigs together, share experiences, and orient your living and working environment to that goal.
• If you want to overcome your struggles and live a happier life, your best bet is to spend more time communicating with people who share these same intentions. This can be achieved through local support groups, personal-growth conferences like Think Better, Live Better, or online via courses and supportive communities.

The bottom line is that habits, determination, and willpower will only get you so far. If you want to make a substantial, positive, long-term change in your life, you also have to change your environment accordingly. This is truly the foundation of how we evolve as human beings. We mold and adapt to our environments, gradually, for better or worse. Thus, conscious growth involves decisively seeking out or creating enriching environments that encourage you to grow.

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to forgive yourself if you’ve recently mishandled one or more of the points above…

Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, for the times you lacked clarity, for the missteps that created needless delays or stress. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to learn and grow from them.

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Finally, if you have not done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Louise L. Hay

It’s so easy be dragged down by your own thoughts.

So easy to not feel like “I’m not good enough”.

Not good enough to maybe to go for the job or promotion you want. Or out on a date with that person you’d really like to get to know better.

Or even as you do your best you may feel like it’s still not good enough. And so you feel that you’re not good enough either.

Such thoughts combined with the pressures and stress of today’s world can quickly start tearing your confidence in yourself and your self-esteem to pieces.

I think most of us have been in that situation.

I’ve been there many times. And let those thoughts hold me down and back from what I wanted.

But I’ve also ­– over the years – learned quite a few things that help me to prevent those thoughts from popping up in the first place. And to handle them when they do come running towards me.

1. You don’t have listen to your inner critic (you can shut it down).

When I was younger then I didn’t know I had an inner critic. A voice inside of me that would tell me that I was lazy, that my plan wouldn’t work and that I could have done an even better job.

The inner critic could sometimes motivate me to work smarter and do better. But most often it just tore me down.

I also didn’t know that you don’t have to listen to everything your mind is telling you. That you can actually talk back to that inner critic in your head.

But when it pipes up nowadays I know what works best for me is to – in my mind – shout:

Stop!

Or: No, no, no… we’re not going down that path again!

And the quicker I do that after the critic starts babbling the easier it will be to shut it down.

2. Find the exception to open up your mind again.

When you’re lost in a snowball of thoughts of how you’re not good enough then it can be tough to change your headspace to a more positive one once again.

You may think to yourself you’re not doing a good job at all in school. Or that your dating life sucks.

When I get lost in such thoughts I like to ask myself:

What’s one small exception to that though?

When I, for example, asked myself this one during my school years I’d remember that I was actually doing well in English class. Or, later on, that I had some nice dates with that one person 5 months ago.

And that small exception opened up my mind to more rays of optimistic light.

To finding more positive things that were actually in my life and that I had done or was doing at the time.

3. Make a list and then take a few minutes to soak in your positive memories.

Take out a pen and a piece of paper. Or a blank memo note on your smart phone.

And simply think back. To times and situations when you felt good enough.

Or to times when you may not have felt quite good enough at first but still took action and did well or even better than you had expected.

Write a few such memories down. And then when you feel uncertain or your confidence drops in some situation then pull out that note and soak in those memories for a few minutes to change your outlook.

4. Stop getting stuck in the comparison trap.

When you all too often compare yourself to others, to what they have and what they’ve done then you’re getting yourself stuck in the comparison trap.

This destructive habit tends to feed that feeling of not being good enough.

Because this habitual comparing is not a game you can win.

There will always be someone that’s better than you or that has more or has achieved more. Somewhere out there in your neighborhood, country or the world.

I’ve found that a much better alternative for me has been to compare myself to myself. To see how far I’ve come and what I’ve overcome.

Making that a habit and only occasionally checking out what other people are doing also makes it easier to not be envious but to be happy for their successes.

5. What people share online is usually a high-light reel.

In the past you had to sit down and think about what friends and acquaintances may have had. Or perhaps turn on the TV to see how someone famous lived.

Nowadays it’s often right there as soon as you pick up your smart phone or sit down in front of your laptop.

It’s harder to avoid the comparison trap these days then it was 10 or 15 years ago.

But one thing I try to keep in mind and that really helps when it comes to social media is this:

What people are sharing is a high-light reel of their lives.

Nothing wrong with that. But if you think that’s how their lives look all the time then you’re likely fooling yourself and making yourself feel worse without any real reason.

Because they usually share just the happiest, most fun and exciting moments of their lives. But no matter who they are everyone will still have bad days, get a knock-out flu, eat some food they shouldn’t have and they’ll have their own worries.

So don’t fall into the trap of comparing your low-points or everyday life with someone else’s high-light reel.

6. You may not want to check social media more than once a day.

I find that I can quite easily revert back into the comparison trap and into starting to feel like I’m not good enough if I check social media too often or spend too much time there.

Checking it quickly just once a day is enough for me and it keeps my focus and thoughts in the right place.

7. You can always start small with a right thing string to change how you feel.

One thing I like to do in the morning or when I’m not feeling too good about myself and that helps me to keep my self-esteem stable is what I like to call a right thing string.

Here’s what you do:

Do something that you deep down think is the right thing. Do it right now…

• Give a genuine compliment to someone at school, work or in your life.
• Take 3 minutes to unclutter your workspace.
• Or help someone out with a bit of information that they’re looking for.

Then add another thing that you think is the right thing to do.

Have a banana instead of candy or potato chips. When you feel like judging someone on social media or on TV then try to find a kinder and more understanding point of view.

Then add another thing. And another.

Build a small string of doing the right things during, for example, 10-30 minutes.

When you’ve added a right thing to your string – no matter how small it may be – make sure to take just a couple of seconds to pause and to appreciate the good thing you did.

I often think one of these things to myself:

• Excellent!
• Well done!
• That was fun!

Building a string like this makes you feel good about yourself again, it will over time raise your self-esteem and help to keep it stable and it’s simply a good and fun way to put yourself into a better headspace again.

8. Celebrate all wins.

Not only the big ones. Because then you’ll wait a long time between celebrations and run the risk of only feeling good about yourself when you’ve reached such a peak in life.

I’ve learned that it tends to work better to keep the motivation and self-confidence up if I celebrate all wins. No matter how small.

One small step forward is still one small step forward and you need to take such steps no matter what lofty goal you want to reach.

So celebrate those wins too in some way. Maybe with a pat on your back, a tasty and delicious snack or a quiet break out in nature.

9. It really helps to let it out.

Keeping these thoughts bottled up can make them spiral out of control.

Letting them out can help you to look at things from a more grounded and constructive perspective.

Three ways to let it out are:

Vent about these thoughts as someone close to you simply listens.

Do this for a little while to release the pent up tensions and to figure things out for yourself.

Discuss it with a friend.

Let her add her perspective. Or ask him what he’s done in a similar situation.

Your friend can ground you in reality again so you don’t start making a horrific mountain out of a molehill or medium-sized hill.

And the two of you can perhaps come up with a plan for how you can start improving upon the specific situation you’re in where you’re not feeling good enough (such as preparing for that job interview or that date).

Journal about it.

If you don’t have anyone close to you to talk to about this – or you don’t want to for some reason – then a helpful alternative is to journal about it.

Just get all those thoughts swirling around in your head out of paper or in a digital document.

This is similar to venting and seeing it all laid out before you can help you to more easily get an overview, find clarity and a realistic size of your challenge and see what you can do to improve upon the situation.

10. Don’t beat yourself up. There are much better ways to motivate yourself.

Beating yourself up can renew your motivation to do better the next time.

But it will most likely cause more hurt than it will help you in the long run as it drags you down mentally and may often extinguish your motivation instead of renewing it.

So find another way to motivate yourself that won’t push your respect and love for yourself down such as:

• Be kinder and more constructive when you talk to yourself.
• Let it out as mentioned above.
• Look for small or tiny steps you can take today to improve the situation you’re in.
• Start building a right thing string.

And remember that just because plenty of people beat themselves up all the time or because you’ve done it many times in the past doesn’t mean that it’s the healthiest or best way to move forward again.

11. Focus on and take responsibility for the process.

If you focus on the process instead of always hoping for a certain result then you’ll be a lot more relaxed, the pressure you put on yourself will be greatly reduced and the feeling of not being good enough will diminish too.

When you focus on the process then you just take responsibility for showing up and taking action.

That’s it.

No matter if that’s at work, while building your own business or at the gym.

Results will come anyway from that consistent action. And from you focusing on your process and adjusting it along the way as you learn more about what works and what does not.

I’ve found that if I focus on the process instead of obsessing about some result I want as soon as possible – or preferably even sooner – then my patience and persistence grows and I’m lot more likely to continue on my path even I hit a rough patch or two (or five).

12. What someone has said or done to you may not be about you.

The criticism or verbal attacks you may have received this morning or during the past year might not have been about you at all.

So don’t make the common mistake of thinking it’s all about you.

Someone close to you, at work or at school could simply have had a bad week, month or year.

Or he or she may be in a bad marriage, dissatisfied with his/her career or carrying an old and heavy baggage of negativity that someone else once put on him or her.

Remind yourself of this when you don’t feel good enough because of what someone else may have said or done. And realize that you don’t have to carry their baggage and negativity.

That belongs to them. Not you.

13. You can and may need to make some real changes in your environment to feel better.

Whatever we let into our minds will have a big effect. No matter if those influences are positive or negative.

So you may need to make some changes in your environment to feel better about yourself.

Otherwise you’re always trying to move forward while powerful weights are holding and dragging you back.

A simple start to that process of step-by-step changing your day to day world is to ask yourself this:

What are the top 3 sources of negativity in my life?

It could be:

• Someone close to you or at work or in school.
• A social media account.
• A website or forum you visit every week.
• Or a TV-show, podcast, music, magazine and so on.

Then ask yourself:

What can I do to spend less time with these 3 sources this week?

Come up with one or a few action-steps for each of the sources if possible. And focus on taking action to reduce the influence and time you spend on at least one of these sources this week.

And then, during the next 7 days, spend the time you’ve now freed up with the most supportive, uplifting and positive sources – close by or far away in the world – and people in your life.

Want more motivation? You may find this post with you are enough quotes and this one about knowing your true worth helpful.

 

When I was looking for a man, I spent most of my twenties walking around with a metaphorical sign on my forehead reading “Hey you…don’t worry about treating me right because I don’t treat myself right”. It’s taken a while for me to realise that this self-talk isn’t just mindless chatter, it was ingrained into my interactions and beaming out like I literally had a sign on my forehead.The very essence of dating is to find somebody to love us, treat us right and respect us and yet it’s a struggle to find the one who can do that.

Wasting Time on Bad Dates

Let me take you back to the old me…eager to date, even more, eager to find a relationship and equipped with a subconscious list of likes and dislikes for a potential match. Must have a good sense of humour…must be loyal…must treat me like a princess…none of these were inaccurate and even nowadays, although slightly more refined, I still look for similar qualities in a man I would consider dating. Why was this so impossible to find? What was wrong with me? Why did I struggle to meet a match? And why, the biggest WHY, did I ever go on so many awful dates knowing too well before I even left the house, they were terrible? Can you relate to this?

 

Time to own up. Maybe I didn’t end up with the best pic of the bunch (shhh…don’t tell my ex) but it’s taken me years and countless first dates to figure out that it’s not about them. Nor is it about how they treated me, the sleepless nights when my ex wouldn’t come home or the times he would sit and tell me “Steph, I only date plain looking girls…oh isn’t she beautiful” commenting on some other woman on the TV or internet whilst categorising me as the plain, inferior girl he had handpicked to date!! No…what this is really about is how I treated ME. I spent far too long focussed on what I wanted in somebody else and accepting the criticism that I forgot the somebody staring back at me in the mirror.

 

Do I look Fat in This?

Forgot is the wrong choice of words, I spent plenty of time criticising my look, seeking approval and double guessing myself. It’s those classic lines we use all the way through the dating process where we question ourselves, “are you sure I look OK in this?” “Does this make me look fat?” that subconsciously shoots us down before we even leave the house. I don’t know how many times I have done this to myself and what is worrying is just how natural it was. The confident, independent career driven version of myself got left behind and out came this doubtful, self-critical, unsure girl who then expected to get treated like the person I really am and even worse, I actually recall having to describe this person…I even knew deep down I wasn’t naturally portraying who I was.  

 

This was far more involved than just “you can’t be happy with someone else until you’re happy with yourself” … at this point in life I believed I was happy, I lived a great lifestyle, did what I wanted when I wanted and wasn’t in search of more. However, I wasn’t aware of my self-talk and the damage this was doing. I probably didn’t even consciously understand that before I could ever have a successful relationship with someone else, I had to have at least an OK relationship with myself. Every time I looked in that mirror and criticised myself, both the literal and metaphorical mirror, I wasn’t treating myself very nice, I wasn’t respecting myself and I certainly wasn’t loving myself. Now, after working long and hard on my issues with self-love and self-confidence, it makes complete sense to me…what I was giving out, I was getting back, like a punch in the face. The more bad energy I gave out about how I felt about myself was directly proportional to the level of self-respect I had and in return, the respect I could demand from somebody else. The people we entertain in our lives are simply acting as mirrors, reflecting back to us how we treat ourselves.

Check your Metaphorical Mirror

See this might sound cheesy but I really was searching for someone back then to love me, treat me right and respect me. I was looking for me. And it has been a long journey of truly unsuccessful relationships, dreadful dates and to be fair, a few amazing men who came along just a bit too soon on my journey. 

How did I change this and how can you recognise the effects your relationship with yourself is having on your dating life?

Self-talk and how it influences your self-worth, self-respect and confidence are all intertwined. You cannot say you are successfully working on your confidence until you start recognising the negative self-talk and assessing how you treat yourself. I know it isn’t easy to admit but go on, I dare you to ask yourself are you treating yourself, right? This isn’t just for the single people, sometimes in a relationship, we can lose ourselves even more.

 

My Top 5 Self-Addressing Love Hacks

1. Do you tell yourself negative things when you look in the mirror? For every time you recognise having a negative conversation with yourself I want you to crowd it out. Take that thought and however uncomfortable it feels at first, replace it with 3 positive comments. Say them out loud and remember the ratio must be 3:1. Gradually this will change your thought process.
2. Try a gratitude journal, get to know yourself again or for the first time ever and write down what you’re grateful for in you, your strengths and what lights YOU up…by focussing on the good stuff, slowly there is no room left for the negative.
3. Love thyself – pencil time into your diary for you and prioritise it. This is not a treat or a once every 3 months, a spare couple of hours, spur of the moment bit of time to yourself. It is an absolute necessity that you incorporate some of the stuff that makes you most happy…take yourself on a date, read a book, book a spa…whatever it is, do it well and fill yourself up!!
4. Respect yourself and start recognising your strengths and how they make you unique, special and great. Ask yourself, “what do I bring to the table?” and answer it in an abundance of love, respect and compassion. You, just the way you are, are enough and will be a welcomed addition to the right person’s life.
5. Start focussing on the values you want from to attract in someone else. And I am not talking about the “must be over 6ft, earn over £50k a year, have green eyes” type stuff, you need to ask yourself what you deserve, what you require in terms of characteristics, personality traits and values and begin to see how you actually recognise them as opposed to the superficial things we see or find out we first meet someone.

Much Love,

Stephanie Joanna Smith

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