“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
– Annie Dillard

Are you willing to spend a little time every day like most people won’t, so you can spend the better part of your life like most people can’t?

Think about that question for a moment. Let it sink in. You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing — growing happens only when what you know changes how you live on a daily basis (most people miss the second part).

And isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different? That’s the power of daily habits.

Now it’s time think about your habits — the little things you do every day.

Because these little things define you.

All the results in your life come from these little things.

Regardless of your unique life circumstances, or how you define success, you don’t suddenly become successful. You become successful over time based on your habits.

Failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail…

• You keep failing to check the books.
• You keep failing to make the calls.
• You keep failing to listen to your customers.
• You keep failing to innovate.
• You keep failing to do the little things that need to be done.

Then one day you wake up and your business has failed. It was all the little things you did or didn’t do on a daily basis — your habits — not just one inexplicable, catastrophic event.

Think about how this relates to your life.

Your life is your “business!”

And your habits make or break you, one day at a time.

Even the seemingly insignificant daily habits you engage in can produce ripples of consequence, for better or worse.

So how have you been managing your habits, and thus your life?

Are the little things you’re doing every day working for you or against you? If you think the answer might be the latter, you will find value in the essential daily habits listed below. Each of them gradually strengthens common weak points we’ve seen plaguing hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees over the past 15 years (these weak points are little negative patterns of behavior that most of us struggle with at some point).

And remember, this article is about making small, sustainable changes in your routine behavior. That means practicing each one of these habits gradually — one at a time, one day at a time, and then letting them build on one another over time. Go from zero to six over the course of six months or so, not all at once…

1. Wash your dishes, mindfully.

Yes, I literally mean washing your dishes. It’s just one small step forward: When you eat your oatmeal, wash your bowl and spoon. When you finish drinking your morning coffee, rinse the coffee pot and your mug. Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later. Wash them immediately.

Form this small habit one dish at a time, one day at a time. Once you do this consistently for a couple weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too. Then the counter. Then put your clothes where they belong when you take them off. Then start doing a few sit-ups every morning. Eat a few vegetables for dinner. And so forth.

Do one of these at a time, and you’ll start to build a healthy habit of practicing self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of doing the little things that must be done, and finishing what you start.

But again, to start, just wash your dishes. Mindfully, with a smile.

2. Consciously focus on the positive.

As described in the bestselling book “The Happiness Advantage”, recent scientific studies have shown that doctors who are put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis consistently experience significant boosts to their intellectual abilities than doctors in a neutral state, which allows them to make accurate diagnoses almost 20% faster. The same studies then shifted to other vocations and found that optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by over 50%. Students primed to feel happy before taking math tests substantially outperform their neutral peers. So it turns out that our minds are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative, or even neutral, but when they are generally positive.

Of course, that’s not to say that successful people never get upset, but your effectiveness in all walks of life will fare better if you’re able to mindfully accept and let go of negative emotions, rather than dwelling on them. Think a little less about managing your problems and a little more about managing your mindset. Keep it generally positive.

3. Use visual reminders to stay on track.

You want to get in shape, but when you’re tired it’s easy to rationalize that you’ll start exercising and eating healthier tomorrow. You want to build a more profitable business, but when you’re caught up in the daily grind it’s easy to just do what’s familiar instead of what’s required for growth. You want to nurture your closest relationships, but when you’re busy it’s easy to rationalize that you really need to work on that client proposal instead. In other words, few good things come easy, and when the going gets tough we often take the easy way out — even though the easy way takes us the wrong way.

To combat this, many successful people use visual reminders that pull them back from the brink of their weak impulses. A friend of ours who has paid off over $100K of debt in the past five years has a copy of her credit card balance taped to her work computer’s monitor; it serves as a daily reminder of both the progress she has made and debt she still wants to pay off. Another friend keeps a photo of herself when she was 90 pounds heavier on her refrigerator as a reminder of the unhealthy lifestyle she never wants to go back to. And another fills his office bulletin board with family photos, both because he loves looking at them and because, when work gets really tough, these photos remind him of the people he is ultimately working for.

Think of moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that take you farther away from your ultimate goals. Then use visual reminders of those goals to quietly interrupt the impulses, and keep you on track.

4. Practice journaling.

If you want to get somewhere in life, you need a map, and your journal is that map. You can write down what you did today, what you tried to accomplish, where you made mistakes, and so much more. It’s a place to reflect. It’s a place to capture important thoughts. It’s a place to sort out where you’ve been and where you intend to go. And it’s one of the most underused, yet incredibly effective tools available to the masses.

Just this morning, I spent 15 minutes journaling about some recent events in my life that I’m grateful for, and some that are still troubling me. As I was wrapping up, the idea for the blog post you’re reading now came to me, which was a pleasant surprise since I hadn’t yet decided what I was going to share with you today.

I also unearthed some incredibly healthy insights regarding an important relationship that I had been neglecting, which motivated me to immediately send out a text message to someone I care about who I’ve been meaning to reconnect with. We now have a brunch date scheduled for next Sunday.

So as you can infer, your time spent focusing inward and journaling doesn’t just help you — your mind is powerful and your thoughts create ripples in the world around you. When you bring clarity into your life, you bring the best of yourself into everything you do — you tend to treat yourself and others better, communicate more constructively, do things for the right reasons, and ultimately improve the world you’re living in. This is why journaling for a short time every day can actually make a significant real-world difference in your life. (Note: If you’re interested in starting a journaling practice, or simply expanding on your current practice, check out “The Good Morning Journal”.)

5. Observe or study the work of mentors.

Regardless of what you’re trying to achieve, you can’t do it completely alone. It can be hard to learn actionable skills from books, and sometimes the internet makes it difficult to separate truth from fiction. You need someone who has been where you want to go, and you need them to show you the way — you need a mentor.

Sure, 10,000 hours of diligent practice can make you an expert at something, but what makes you dedicate 10,000 hours to something in the first place? The answer is having a great mentor or two. If you study the lives of enough successful people, it becomes obvious that most world-class performers in all fields — athletes, musicians, entrepreneurs, etc. — had incredible mentors, coaches or role models who made the activity of practice worthwhile and rewarding.

And sometimes just observing a mentor works wonders too. When we observe someone we want to learn from and we have a crystal clear idea of what we want to create for ourselves, it unlocks a tremendous amount of motivation. Human beings are socially inclined, and when we get the idea that we want to join some elite circle up above us, that is what really motivates us to achieve greatness. “Look, they did it. I can do it too!” It may sound overly simplistic, but spending time studying people who are great can be one of the most powerful things you can do for your success.

6. Give thanks before bed.

Overlooking everything that’s wonderful is a tragedy, and a very debilitating one. When you get lost in worried thoughts about a life situation you think you “should” have, you end up missing the beauty of everything you do have. And you will never be happy if you aren’t consciously thankful for the good things in your life.

Here’s a super simple, five-minute daily gratitude exercise that has worked wonders for hundreds of our students and coaching clients over the past 16 years:

Every evening before you go to bed, write down three things that went well during the day and their causes. Simply provide a short, causal explanation for each good thing.

That’s it. We spend tens of thousands of dollars on expensive electronics, big homes, fancy cars, and lavish vacations hoping for a boost of happiness. This is a free alternative, and it works.

In a study of this gratitude exercise’s effectiveness by the famed psychologist Martin Seligman, participants were asked to follow those exact instructions for just one week. After one week the participants were measurably 2% happier than before, but in follow-up tests their happiness kept on increasing, from 5% at one month, to 9% at six months. Even more interestingly, the participants were only required to keep this gratitude journal for one week, but the majority of them continued journaling on their own because they enjoyed it.

I tried it for myself nearly two decades ago — I set a goal of doing it for just one week, and I’m still doing it today. So I can assure you it’s effective.

A journey of renewing trust in yourself.

Renewing trust in yourself is one of the most significant hidden benefits of practicing the aforementioned daily habits. In fact, what Angel and I lacked before we learned to implement these kinds of daily habits was the trust that we were actually capable of achieving positive results in our lives. We went through a very difficult time together when we were in our twenties — both of us were grieving significant losses in our lives, and we repeatedly failed to get back on our feet. As the weeks rolled into months, we had grown so discouraged in ourselves that we started subconsciously choosing procrastination over future attempts to make progress on the promises we made to ourselves — to heal and move forward.

In essence, we lost trust in both our abilities and ourselves. It’s kind of like another person constantly lying to you — eventually you stop trusting them. The same holds true with the promises you make to yourself that always end in disappointment. Eventually you stop trusting yourself.

And the solution in most cases is the same too: you have to renew your trust gradually, with tiny promises, tiny steps (your daily habits), and tiny victories. Of course this process takes time, but it happens relatively quick if you stick to it. And it’s arguably one of the most important, life-changing things you can do for yourself.

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to take the next step with one of the aforementioned daily habits. But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay and its ideas. Your feedback is important to us.

Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your daily habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are some fairly common and widespread examples of the latter that will drain all your joy if you let them:

1. Focusing on how life “should” be every step of the way.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on how you play the hands you’ve been dealt.

2. Wanting to control the uncontrollable.

Be selective with your energy today. If you can fix a problem, fix it. If you can’t, then accept it and change your thoughts about it. Whatever you do, don’t attempt to invest more energy than you have, tripping over something behind you or something that only exists inside your head. Truth be told, some of the most powerful moments in life happen when you find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything.

3. Holding tightly to the way things once were.

You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a week ago. You’re always learning and growing, and life is always evolving. Again, even though you can’t control everything that happens, you can control your attitude about what happens. And in doing so, you will gradually master change rather than allowing it to master you. So be humble today. Be teachable. The world is often bigger than your view of the world. There’s always room for a fresh idea or a next step. But first you must accept the fact that things may never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really a new beginning.

4. Refusing to practice self-forgiveness.

Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you’ve made in the past, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that accidentally hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them. (Note: Angel and I discuss this further in the Adversity chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

5. Endlessly settling for the default settings.

There are thousands of people who live their entire lives on the default settings, never acknowledging the fact that they can customize everything. Don’t be one of them — don’t settle for the default settings on a daily basis. Don’t hide behind indecision or laziness either. And forget popularity! Just do your thing with passion, humility, and honesty. Do what you do, not for an applause, but because it’s what’s right. Pursue it a little bit each day, no matter what anyone else thinks. That’s how dreams are achieved.

6. Resisting new ideas and lessons.

To make real progress in the long run you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers. So don’t stop learning! Don’t stop investing in yourself. Research. Read. Devour books. Engage with people, including those who think differently. Ask questions. Listen closely. And don’t just grow in knowledge. Be a person who gives back. Use what you’re learning to make a real and lasting difference. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal” is a useful tool for noticing and keeping track of all your lessons learned.)

7. Constantly seeking fleeting contentment.

There are two variations of contentment in life — fleeting and enduring. The fleeting type is derived from instants of material comfort, while the enduring type is attained through the gradual growth and progress on matters that are truly important to you. At a quick glimpse it might be difficult to decipher one from the other, but as time rolls on it becomes vividly obvious that the latter is far superior. So just remember, if it entertains you now but will hurt or bore you someday, it’s a distraction. Don’t settle. Don’t exchange what you want most for what you kinda want at the moment. Study your routines. Figure out where your time goes, and remove distractions. It’s time to focus more on what matters in the long run.

8. Always worrying about everyone else’s story.

Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone for them, that you forget to write your own. Unfold your own tale and bring it to life on a daily basis. You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming. Incredible change happens when you decide to make yourself a priority. And remember, you won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you have to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become a daily part of your own support system. This means consuming less and creating more. It means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you. It means learning to embrace and use your ideas and instincts to write your passage, one day at a time.

9. Fearing little (necessary) failures.

Sometimes we literally have to fail dozens of times to succeed. And no matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss the opening for a hundred more opportunities. All of your ideas that don’t work are simply stepping stones to the one idea that does. And remember, failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Always get back up! Oftentimes good things fall apart in the near term so better things can fall together in the end.

10. Waiting for the “perfect” moment to take the next step.

Don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment. Moments aren’t perfect, they’re what you make of them. So many people wait around for the stars to align to do what they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc. Wake up! Don’t “wait” away the vast majority of your life! Remind yourself that too many people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. And you don’t be one of them. Ultimately, you will come to succeed not by finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections as stepping stones.

An Exercise for Building Better Daily Habits

If you feel a like you’ve wasted too much time, joy, and peace on one or more of the points above, this quick actionable closing exercise is for YOU.

Choose any area in your life that you want to improve, and then:

1. Write down the specific details about your current circumstances. (What’s bothering you? Where are you stuck? What do you want to change?)
2. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that have contributed to your current circumstances? (Be honest with yourself. What are you doing regularly that actually contributes to the situation you’re in?)
3. Write down a few specific details about the “better circumstances” you’d like to create for yourself. (What would make you happy? What does an improved situation look like for you?)
4. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that will get you from where you are to where you want to be? (Think about it. What small daily steps will help you gradually move forward from point A to point B?)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to not fall back into your old patterns of living today simply because they’re more comfortable and easier to access. It’s your turn to remember that you’re leaving certain habits and situations behind for a reason: to improve your life — because you can’t move forward if you keep going back. And it’s undoubtedly your turn to reclaim your inner peace and joy, and make your time count going forward!

But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Photo by: Georges Petrequin

Patience is not about waiting, it’s the ability to maintain a positive outlook while working hard for what you believe in.

Have you ever told yourself that you’re going to make something happen and then nothing happened? All details aside, it’s because you didn’t have the right habits in place — the little things you do every day that build up to something bigger. Your habits truly make or break you. Because in all walks of life you become what you habitually do. You will never make progress or change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is always found in your daily habits and routines.

In other words, regardless of your unique life situation or how you personally define success, you can’t become an overnight success. You become successful over time from all the little things you do one day at a time.

Failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail…

• You fail to check the books.
• You fail to make the calls.
• You fail to listen to your customers.
• You fail to innovate.
• You fail to do what must be done.

And then one day you wake up and your business has failed. It was all the little things you did or didn’t do along the way — your daily habits — not just one big catastrophic event.

Let this be your wake-up call.

YOUR LIFE IS YOUR BUSINESS!

YOUR HABITS ARE YOUR BUSINESS!

So today, let’s discuss some super-common daily habits Angel and I have seen plaguing dozens of our coaching clients and conference attendees over the past decade — little things many people do over and over again that waste nearly all their time and potential in life:

1. Change nothing and expect different results.

There’s a saying that the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Take this to heart. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Oftentimes the only difference between a successful person and a person who makes little progress is not one’s superior abilities, but the courage that one has to bet on their ideas, to take calculated risks, and to take steady steps forward.

Truly, some people sit and wait for the magic beans to arrive while the rest of us just get up and get to work.

2. Keep waiting for the right time.

Even when we have productive intentions, too many of us waste so much of our time waiting for ideal paths to appear. But they never do of course, because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. So stop waiting today…

Think of today as the beginning — the conception of a new life. The next nine months are all yours. You can do with them as you please. Make them count! Because a new person is born in nine months. The only question is: Who do you want that person to be? Now is the time to decide.

And no, you shouldn’t feel more confident before you take the next step. Taking the next step is what builds your confidence and fuels your inner and outer growth.

3. Believe good things come fast and easy.

A goal is a point of achievement that requires effort and sacrifice. There are no esteemed goals worth participating in that don’t require some level of effort and sacrifice. My 90-year-old grandmother once told me, “Decades from now when you’re getting closer to the end, you will not remember the days that were easy, you will cherish the moments when you rose above your difficulties and conquered challenges of magnitude. You will dream of the strength you found within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible.”

So don’t just do what’s easy today, do what you’re capable of. Astound yourself with your own abilities. And as you struggle forward, remember, it’s far better to be exhausted from little bits of effort and learning than to be tired of doing absolutely nothing. Effort is never wasted, even when it leads to disappointing results. For it always makes you stronger and more experienced in the long run.

4. Refuse to accept necessary risks.

Living is about learning as you go. Living is risky business. Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you get out of bed in the morning, you take a small risk. To truly live is to know you’re getting up and taking that risk, and to trust yourself to take it. To not get out of bed, clutching to illusions of safety, is to die slowly without ever having truly lived…

Think about it. If you ignore your instincts and let shallow feelings of uncertainty constantly stop you, you will never know anything for sure, and in many ways this un-knowing will be worse than finding out your instincts were wrong. Because if you were wrong, you could make adjustments and carry on with your life, without always looking back and wondering what might have been.

5. Make the rejections of yesterday the focal point of today.

Be okay with walking away when the time comes. Rejection teaches us how to reject what’s not right for our well-being. It won’t always be easy, but some chapters in our lives have to close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.

All too often we let the rejections of our past dictate every move we make thereafter. We literally do not know ourselves to be any better than what some opinionated person or isolated circumstance once told us was true. Of course, this old rejection doesn’t mean we aren’t good enough — it means the other person or circumstance failed to align with what we had to offer at the time. It means we have more time now to improve our thing, to build upon our ideas, to perfect our craft, and to indulge deeper into the work that moves us. And that’s exactly what YOU need to do, starting now.

6. Refuse to take responsibility.

You aren’t responsible for everything that happened to you, but you need to be responsible for undoing the thinking and behavioral patterns these outcomes created within you. Blaming the past for a limiting mindset today doesn’t fix it. Change your response to what you remember, and step forward again with grace.

A combination of your decisions and external factors for which you had no control brought you to where you are today. Negatively blaming someone else, or some past circumstance, will change nothing. Positively taking full responsibility for the next step on your path forward can change everything. Leave the unchangeable past behind you as you diligently give yourself to the present moment. In this moment is every possibility you seek. Take responsibility for it, and bring these possibilities to life.

7. Close your mind to new ideas and perspectives.

Remember that success in life does not depend on always being right. To make real progress you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers. Even as you grow wiser with age, you must remind yourself that an understanding is never absolutely final. What’s currently right could easily be wrong later. Thus, the most destructive illusion is a settled point of view.

So don’t stop learning! Don’t stop investing in yourself. Study. Read. Devour books. Engage with people, including those who think differently. Ask questions. Listen closely. And don’t just grow in knowledge. Be a person who gives back. Use what you’re learning to make a real and lasting difference. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts and Reflections to Start Every Day” is a great tool for keeping yourself on track with this kind of fresh daily perspective.)

8. Let a few negative people continuously distract you.

Your mind is your private sanctuary; do not allow the negative beliefs of others to occupy it. Your skin is your barrier; do not allow others to get under it. Take good care of your personal boundaries and what you allow yourself to absorb from others.

Of course, there will inevitably be a few people in your life who will be critical of you regardless of what you do or how well you do it. If you say you want to be a dancer, they will discredit your taste in music. If you say you want to build a new business, they will give you a dozen reasons why it might not work. They somehow assume you don’t have what it takes, but they are dead wrong! Let that sink in…

It’s a lot easier to be negative than positive — a lot easier to be critical than correct. When you’re embarking on a new venture, instead of listening to the few critics that will try to distract you, spend time talking to one of the hundreds of people in this world who are willing to support your efforts and acknowledge your potential, respectfully. And go ahead and leave us a comment down at the bottom of this post if you think you can’t find one.

9. Hold tight to something that’s not real.

Remind yourself right now that not everything is meant to be. Sometimes you have to track the data, review the data, and seriously sit down with yourself and come to grips with the fact that you were wrong about it all along. It was just an illusion that never really was what you thought it was.

It’s one of the most difficult realizations to accept, to realize that you feel a sense of loss, even though you never really had what you thought you had in the first place. The key is knowing this, learning from it, letting go, and taking the next step forward. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Adversity and Growth chapters of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

10. Maintain rigid expectations every step of the way.

Simple things become complicated when you expect too much. Rigid expectations truly are a root cause of heartache. Don’t let them get the best of you. Every difficult life situation can be an excuse for hopelessness or an opportunity for personal growth, depending on what you choose to do with it. So start by choosing to let go of the expectations that aren’t serving you.

A mistake doesn’t hurt, expectation does. A rejection doesn’t hurt, expectation does. And so it goes…

Remember, the mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the fiercest conflict resides. It’s where half the things you feared would happen, never actually happened. It’s where your expectations get the best of you, and you fall victim to your own train of thought time and time again. So don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your rigid expectations in life is the best way to avoid being disappointed by everyone and everything you encounter.

Truth be told, one of the most important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because, when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything…

An Exercise for Building Better Daily Habits

If you feel like you’ve wasted too much time and potential on one or more of the points above, this quick actionable closing exercise is for YOU.

Choose any area in your life that you want to improve, and then:

1. Write down the specific details about your current circumstances. (What’s bothering you? Where are you stuck? What do you want to change?)
2. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that have contributed to your current circumstances? (Be honest with yourself. What are you doing regularly that actually contributes to the situation you’re in?)
3. Write down a few specific details about the “better circumstances” you’d like to create for yourself. (What would make you happy? What does an improved situation look like for you?)
4. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that will get you from where you are to where you want to be? (Think about it. What small, daily steps will help you gradually move forward from point A to point B?)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to not fall back into your old patterns of living simply because they’re more comfortable and easier to access. It’s your turn to remember that you’re leaving certain habits and situations behind today for a reason: to improve your life — because you can’t move forward if you keep going back. And it’s undoubtedly your turn to reclaim some of your time and potential, and make today count!

But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”
Leonardo Da Vinci

One of the biggest and most common problems with improving your life or the success you want out of it is that you may not take consistent action over a longer time period.

Now, consistency isn’t the sexiest or most exciting word.

But it is, coupled with time, what will give you real results in your life.

Sticking with the program and doing something consistently – and not just when you feel inspired or something like that – is very, very powerful.

This is something I have struggled with a lot in the past. And on some days I still do.

But over the years I have found a few things that really help me with this.

1. When you’re taking action, focus only on the process.

I use this one, for example, when I do my workouts and when I write. I don’t take responsibility for the results in my mind.

I take responsibility for showing up and doing my workout/the writing. That’s it.

The results come anyway from that consistent action. And this makes it easier for me to take this action because:

• I know that is all I need to focus on. And so my energy and attention is only focused in one direction and I do a better job.
• I feel a lot less pressure on myself. And so I’m more relaxed and prone to continue compared to if I stare myself blind on the potential results that never come as quickly as I may want and if I’m on an emotional roller coaster from day to day.

2. Remember why you are taking action.

Find your top priorities and reasons for why you are doing what you are doing.

It could be to provide for your family, to save up for traveling, to get the job you really want or to improve your self-confidence. Or something else.

To not lose track of why you are taking action and to stay focused:

• Write down your most important reasons. Take a few minutes, sit down with paper and a pen and write down the top 1-3 reasons for why you take action and want to keep doing that in your life right now.
• Put that note where you can see it every day. Like for example in your workspace or near your bed so that you see it every morning when you wake up.

3. Reminder: you don’t want to hurt yourself.

When you disappoint yourself and don’t think and do as you really deep down want to you hurt yourself by lowering your self-esteem.

Whatever you do during your day sends signals back to yourself about what kind of person you are. Do the right thing like being effective, kind, going to the gym or simply rest and you feel good.

Get lazy, negative or just plain mean and you tend to feel worse after a while.

You don’t get away, there is no escaping yourself. And there is always a price to pay.

4. Take smaller steps on the days when the big ones seem too daunting.

On some days getting started with any of the the most important tasks may seem daunting. And so you start to procrastinate.

When that happens, one thing that has worked for me is to be kind.

To nudge myself forward instead of beating myself up.

So at such times I take:

• A small step. I may make a deal with myself to just work for 5 minutes on a piece of a bigger and more difficult task.
• An even smaller step. If that small step feels like too much and I start to procrastinate I make a deal with myself for 1 or 2 minutes of work.

Sometimes that results in a few dents put into a big task, a couple of smaller tasks being completed and many breaks being taken throughout the day.

And sometimes the easy start or restart to the day is all I need to get going again and to have a good and very productive time before the evening arrives.

Either way, I move forward instead of standing still.

5. Celebrate what you did today.

When you appreciate your good work you feel even better about your life and yourself.

And over time taking more action with less inner resistance becomes possible and you associate action with more positive emotions than you may at this time.

So…

• Take two minutes at the end of the day to think about what you can appreciate about what you did today. Or write down a couple of self-appreciative things in your journal.
• Have a tasty treat or a bigger celebration.
• Tell someone how nice something turned out, how you learned a good lesson or how proud you are over something important you did today.

Reward yourself for the things you did right today to strengthen your action taking habit.

And remember to be kind to yourself for the things you may have missed or not gotten done.

No point in trying to beat yourself up. No point in trying to be perfect.

See what you can learn from it and perhaps try another solution tomorrow and see if that works better.

 

When I was a high school freshman, a 260-pound freshman girl showed up for track and field tryouts right alongside me. Her name was Sara, and she was only there because her doctor said her health depended on it. But once she scanned the crowd of students who were on the field, she turned around and began walking away. Coach O’Leary saw her, jogged over, and turned her back around.

“I’m not thin enough for this sport!” Sara declared. “And I’ll never be! It’s impossible for me to lose enough weight. I’ve tried.”

Coach O’Leary nodded and promised Sara that her body type wasn’t suited for her current weight. “It’s suited for 220 pounds,” he said.

Sara looked confused. “Most people tell me I need to lose 130 pounds,” she replied. “But you think I only need to lose 40?”

Coach O’Leary nodded again.

Sara started off as a shot put competitor, but spent every single afternoon running and training with the rest of the track team. She was very competitive, and by the end of our freshman year she was down to 219 pounds. She also won 2nd place in the countywide shot put tournament that year. Three years later, during our senior year, she won 3rd place in the 10K county run. Her competitive weight at the time was 132 pounds.

There was a time when Sara was convinced that it was impossible to lose weight because, in her past experience, it had never worked out the way she had hoped. She had failed a few times and eventually lost confidence in herself. But with consistency — with the right daily habits and a willingness to try again — she rebuilt her self-confidence and ultimately achieved the “impossible.” And when Sara showed up to my poolside birthday party in Miami recently, I smiled when I overheard another guest compliment her on her physique.

Of course, Sara still works really hard — she chooses wisely — every single day to maintain what she has achieved.

And so do I…

I fail and lose my self-confidence sometimes too.

Some people get this idea about me, because I’m a New York Times bestselling author and coach who has spent the past 15+ years writing and teaching people how to create more success and happiness in their lives, that I don’t ever fall short and fail miserably in these areas. But of course I do — I’m human. I fall short and fail at things far more than anyone could imagine, and certainly far more than I’d often like to admit. And it feels just as horrible for me as it does for you or anyone else — I absolutely lose confidence in myself sometimes.

Deep down of course, I know these negative reactions aren’t helpful. So I own up to what happened, learn a lesson or two, and then I get back up to try again. And the final part is the most important part — the trying again…

• I fail at eating healthy and exercising sometimes, but I try again.
• I fail at loving myself sometimes, but I don’t give up on myself either, and so I try again.
• I fail at being a great mom and wife sometimes, especially when I get distracted with stressful business endeavors, but I keep trying, and oftentimes I invoke a fresh smile on my son’s or husband’s face.
• I even failed at writing the article you’re reading now. I made an initial attempt yesterday and scrapped it because it didn’t feel right. But I started again, and now I’m done.

Bottom line: When we try again and again, we often succeed and feel much better about ourselves in the long run.

So if there’s only one thing you take away from this essay, let it be that trying again — choosing to give yourself another chance every day — is always worth it. Because that’s honestly the foundation of the following three points, which Marc and I directly attribute to our own success and personal growth (and the success of the 700+ incredible coaching clients we’ve worked with over the past 15+ years)…

1. Evaluate your daily habits and the results you’re getting.

Regardless of your unique talents, knowledge, life circumstances, or how you personally define success, you don’t suddenly become successful. You become successful over time based on your willingness to try again and again — to create daily habits and routines that amass gradual progress, through thick and thin.

So what do your daily habits and routines look like?

You really have to sort this out and get consistent with what’s right for you on a daily basis. Because failure in life occurs in the same way — it’s gradual. All your little daily failures (those that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail big. Think in terms of running a business:

• You keep failing to check the books.
• You keep failing to make the calls.
• You keep failing to listen to your customers.
• You keep failing to innovate.
• You keep failing to do the little things that need to be done.

Then one day you wake up and your whole business has failed. It was all the little things you did or didn’t do on a daily basis — your habits — not just one inexplicable, catastrophic event.

The key thing to realize is that your life is your “business!”

Too often people overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making good choices and small steps of progress on a daily basis. Don’t be one of them!

Keep reminding yourself that almost all of the results in your life — positive and negative alike — are the product of many small decisions made over time. The little things you do every day, truly matter!

2. Stop thinking about your goals so often, and start focusing on the daily habits that support them.

The concept of taking it one day at a time, one step at a time, might seem ridiculously obvious, but at some point we all get caught up in the moment and find ourselves yearning for instant gratification. We want what we want, and we want it now! And this yearning often tricks us into taking on too much too soon. Marc and I have seen this transpire hundreds of times over the years: a coaching client or course student wants to achieve a big goal (or three) all at once, and can’t choose just one or two daily habits to focus on, so nothing worthwhile ever gets done, and gradually they lose more and more confidence in themselves. Let this common mistake — this quick-fix mentality — be your wake-up call today.

You really can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, yet you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Small, repeated, incremental efforts will get you there. It doesn’t happen in an instant, but it does happen a lot faster than not getting there at all.

Do your best to consciously shift your daily focus away from the big goals you want to achieve in your life, and redirect your focus toward the little daily habits that actually support those goals. Consider the following:

• If you’re a competitive athlete, your goal is to win sports competitions. Your habit is the time you dedicate each day to training your body (and mind).
• If you’re a university student, your goal is to learn and earn a degree. Your habit is your daily study routine.
• If you’re a parent or guardian, your goal is to be a great role model. Your habit is the time and energy you commit to setting a good example each day.
• If you’re a human being, your goal is to live a meaningful life. Your habits are the small, positive steps forward you take every day.

Now consider what would happen if you stopped focusing on one of your big goals for a while and instead focused exclusively on your corresponding daily habit. Would you still make progress? For example, if you were trying to lose weight and you stopped thinking about your goal to lose twenty pounds, and instead placed all of your focus on eating healthy and exercising every day, would you still lose weight? Yes! Gradually you would get closer to your goal — your target weight — without even thinking about it again.

And if you mess up occasionally?

You own up to it, you forgive yourself, and you try again.

One day at a time, one step at a time.

3. Leverage small victories to rebuild your self-confidence.

Rebuilding and maintaining your self-confidence is arguably the most significant hidden benefit of consistently practicing a daily habit — of trying again and again to make progress. In fact, what I lacked before I learned to implement these kinds of daily habits was the confidence that I was actually capable of achieving the positive results I desired in my life. I had tried so many quick fixes in the past that ended in failure, and had grown so discouraged in myself, that I began subconsciously choosing procrastination over future attempts to fulfill the little promises I made to myself.

In essence, I lost confidence in both my abilities and myself. It’s kind of like another person constantly lying to you — eventually you stop trusting them. The same holds true with the little promises you make to yourself that always end in disappointment. Eventually, you stop trusting yourself.

And the solution in most cases is the same too: you have to rebuild your self-confidence and trust gradually, with small promises, small steps (your daily habits), and small victories. Again, this process takes time, but it happens if you stick to it. And it’s undoubtedly one of the most life-changing things you can do for yourself.

(Note: Marc and I build a foundational habit of positive self-reflection with our readers through daily journaling in “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts & Reflections to Start Every Day”.)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to renew your self-confidence… by trying again with the right daily habits.

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your daily habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are some fairly common and widespread examples of the latter that will drain all your joy if you let them:

1. Focusing on how life “should” be every step of the way.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on how you play the hands you’ve been dealt.

2. Wanting to control the uncontrollable.

Be selective with your energy today. If you can fix a problem, fix it. If you can’t, then accept it and change your thoughts about it. Whatever you do, don’t attempt to invest more energy than you have, tripping over something behind you or something that only exists inside your head. Truth be told, some of the most powerful moments in life happen when you find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything.

3. Holding tightly to the way things once were.

You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a week ago. You’re always learning and growing, and life is always evolving. Again, even though you can’t control everything that happens, you can control your attitude about what happens. And in doing so, you will gradually master change rather than allowing it to master you. So be humble today. Be teachable. The world is often bigger than your view of the world. There’s always room for a fresh idea or a next step. But first you must accept the fact that things may never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really a new beginning.

4. Refusing to practice self-forgiveness.

Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you’ve made in the past, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that accidentally hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them. (Note: Angel and I discuss this further in the Adversity chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

5. Endlessly settling for the default settings.

There are thousands of people who live their entire lives on the default settings, never acknowledging the fact that they can customize everything. Don’t be one of them — don’t settle for the default settings on a daily basis. Don’t hide behind indecision or laziness either. And forget popularity! Just do your thing with passion, humility, and honesty. Do what you do, not for an applause, but because it’s what’s right. Pursue it a little bit each day, no matter what anyone else thinks. That’s how dreams are achieved.

6. Resisting new ideas and lessons.

To make real progress in the long run you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers. So don’t stop learning! Don’t stop investing in yourself. Research. Read. Devour books. Engage with people, including those who think differently. Ask questions. Listen closely. And don’t just grow in knowledge. Be a person who gives back. Use what you’re learning to make a real and lasting difference. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal” is a useful tool for noticing and keeping track of all your lessons learned.)

7. Constantly seeking fleeting contentment.

There are two variations of contentment in life — fleeting and enduring. The fleeting type is derived from instants of material comfort, while the enduring type is attained through the gradual growth and progress on matters that are truly important to you. At a quick glimpse it might be difficult to decipher one from the other, but as time rolls on it becomes vividly obvious that the latter is far superior. So just remember, if it entertains you now but will hurt or bore you someday, it’s a distraction. Don’t settle. Don’t exchange what you want most for what you kinda want at the moment. Study your routines. Figure out where your time goes, and remove distractions. It’s time to focus more on what matters in the long run.

8. Always worrying about everyone else’s story.

Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone for them, that you forget to write your own. Unfold your own tale and bring it to life on a daily basis. You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming. Incredible change happens when you decide to make yourself a priority. And remember, you won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you have to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become a daily part of your own support system. This means consuming less and creating more. It means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you. It means learning to embrace and use your ideas and instincts to write your passage, one day at a time.

9. Fearing little (necessary) failures.

Sometimes we literally have to fail dozens of times to succeed. And no matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss the opening for a hundred more opportunities. All of your ideas that don’t work are simply stepping stones to the one idea that does. And remember, failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Always get back up! Oftentimes good things fall apart in the near term so better things can fall together in the end.

10. Waiting for the “perfect” moment to take the next step.

Don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment. Moments aren’t perfect, they’re what you make of them. So many people wait around for the stars to align to do what they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc. Wake up! Don’t “wait” away the vast majority of your life! Remind yourself that too many people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. And you don’t be one of them. Ultimately, you will come to succeed not by finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections as stepping stones.

An Exercise for Building Better Daily Habits

If you feel a like you’ve wasted too much time, joy, and peace on one or more of the points above, this quick actionable closing exercise is for YOU.

Choose any area in your life that you want to improve, and then:

1. Write down the specific details about your current circumstances. (What’s bothering you? Where are you stuck? What do you want to change?)
2. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that have contributed to your current circumstances? (Be honest with yourself. What are you doing regularly that actually contributes to the situation you’re in?)
3. Write down a few specific details about the “better circumstances” you’d like to create for yourself. (What would make you happy? What does an improved situation look like for you?)
4. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that will get you from where you are to where you want to be? (Think about it. What small daily steps will help you gradually move forward from point A to point B?)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to not fall back into your old patterns of living today simply because they’re more comfortable and easier to access. It’s your turn to remember that you’re leaving certain habits and situations behind for a reason: to improve your life — because you can’t move forward if you keep going back. And it’s undoubtedly your turn to reclaim your inner peace and joy, and make your time count going forward!

But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Photo by: Georges Petrequin

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.”

As you age you will learn to value your time, genuine relationships, meaningful work, and peace of mind, much more. Little else will matter.

Deep down you know that already, right?

Yet on most days, just like the majority of us, you get distracted by so many others things. You give your time to lots of meaningless time-wasters. You take your important relationships for granted. You get to work skeptically with inner resistance. And you let everyday stress get the best of you…

Why?

Because you’re human, and human beings are imperfect creatures. We get overwhelmed and caught up in our own heads, and sometimes we don’t know our lives to be any better than the few things that aren’t going our way. We scrutinize and dramatize the insignificant, and then we sit back scratching our heads in bewilderment of how blah life feels. And as we continue to dwell on these things, we try to distract ourselves to numb the tension we feel. But by doing so, we also continue to distract ourselves from what matters most in life.

So today, let’s discuss three incredibly common daily habits Marc and I have seen distracting hundreds of our course students and conference attendees over the past 15 years — some default patterns far too many of us engage in on a daily basis, week after week, draining us of all our joy and potential…

1. Treating each and every day as though it’s “just another day.”

A good life always begins now, when you stop waiting for a better one. Yet so many people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. Don’t be one of them. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been, or just how much potential you’ve had waiting for you every single day.

Over the years, Marc and I have personally learned to pay more attention to the beauty and practicality of living a simpler and more intentional life. A life uncluttered by most of the meaningless drama, distraction, and busyness people fill their lives with, leaving us with space for what’s truly meaningful. A life that isn’t constant rushing, worrying and stress, but instead contemplation, creation, and connection with the people, projects, and work that matters most to us. By redefining our priorities, and building healthy habits to back them up, we’ve literally been able to change our lives.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed and stressed out a lot lately, I highly recommend you rethink how you’re spending your time, and replace the meaningless with the meaningful.

Start by being honest about the distraction and busyness in your life…

• How often do you engage in the exchange of valueless gossip?
• How often are you thinking about other things when someone is talking to you?
• Do you check social media apps on your phone when you’re working, or when you’re spending time with loved ones?
• Do you send text messages while driving?

The biggest cost of filling your life with needless distraction and busyness (assuming you don’t crash from the texting and driving), is a gradual long-term decline of your effectiveness and happiness. When you get in the habit of persistently dividing your attention, you’re partially engaged in every activity, but rarely focused on any one. And this dizzying lack of focus eventually trips you up and brings you down.

The solution? More presence and focus on what matters most — getting rid of the excess. The efficiency and effectiveness of your life relies heavily on the elimination of non-essentials, so you can focus more on your true priorities. And while plenty of full-length books have been written on this topic, let me give you the very basics of what Marc and I have been practicing:

• Identify what’s most important to you, and eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else. In other words, be ruthless about putting first things first. Say “no” to unnecessary commitments that do not support your priorities.
• When you start an important activity, turn to it with your full attention and set a conscious intention to be fully present with the act — to do nothing but this one activity for a set time. You might think, “Just write” or “Just run” or “Just be here with this amazing child of mine.”
• When you notice your mind drifting and thinking about something else, or if something happens and your attention momentarily gets pulled elsewhere… just notice. Then take a deep breath and return to being fully present with the activity.
• Do your best to empty your mind of any preconceived notions about the activity — like judging the moment against some ideal — and just be curious about how the activity is truly unfolding right now. Allow yourself to be moved and surprised by it.
• Treat each moment with reverence, as if you are one with what’s happening.
• See the brilliance of the activity you’re focused on — the brilliance of the present moment — that underlies everything else happening in your life.

The bottom line here is that too often our minds are set on getting somewhere else or doing something else. Too often another beautiful day comes to an end with hundreds of unnoticed moments behind us — we didn’t notice them because they were insignificant to us, and because we were too distracted. And over time our entire lives become a massive pile of unnoticed and insignificant moments on our way to more important things. Then the important things get rushed through too… to get to the next one, and the next, until our time is up and we’re left questioning where it all went.

But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. This moment is the beginning of the rest of your life, and you can make the best of it! The underlying key is to realize that you are not on your way somewhere else. Right now is not just a stepping-stone to another place — it is the ultimate destination, and you have arrived!

2. Waiting and hoping to “find” something to be passionate about.

Passion is powerful. Your inner passion will likely become a key source of your greatest achievements and your finest moments. The fevering excitement of love. The joy of getting in flow. The clarity of a purpose. The ecstasy of letting go and being one with the present moment. In a nutshell, this is what passion gradually does for you. Without it there is less potential in all walks of life.

Truth be told, if your life is going to mean anything to you down the road, you have to actively and passionately engage in it. You have to deeply invest yourself in activities that move you. But the key thing to realize is that almost any activity can move you if you let it. You don’t need some massive, life-engulfing passion to suddenly appear in your life. Because real passion comes from within, and the source of passion in your life may be as simple as having a job to do — a job that feeds your family, for example — and feeling really good about doing it right.

Of course, many of us are still hopelessly trying to “find our passion” — something we believe will ultimately lead us closer to happiness, success, or the life situation we ultimately want. And I say “hopelessly” primarily because, again, passion can’t really be found. When we say we’re trying to find our passion, it implies that our passion is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. And if you’re waiting to somehow “find your passion” somewhere outside yourself, so you finally have a reason to put your whole heart and soul into your life and the things you’re working on, you’ll likely be waiting around for an eternity.

On the other hand, if you’re tired of waiting, and you’d rather live more passionately starting today, and experience more joy and meaning in your life in the long run, it’s time to proactively inject passion into the very next thing you work on. Think about it:

• When was the last time you sat down to work on something, with zero distractions and 100% focus?
• When was the last time you exercised, and literally put every bit of effort you could muster into it?
• When was the last time you truly tried — TRULY tried — to do your very best with what’s in front of you?

Like most of us, you’re likely putting a half-hearted effort into most of the things you do on a daily basis. Because you’re still waiting. You’re still waiting to “find” something to be passionate about — some magical reason to step into the life you want to create for yourself. But what you need to do is the exact opposite!

When I was a kid my grandmother used to tell me, “Stop waiting for better opportunities. The one you have in front of you is the best opportunity.” She also said, “We spend too much time making it perfect in our heads before we ever even do it. Stop waiting for perfection and just do your best with what you have today, and then improve upon it tomorrow.”

Believe it or not recent psychological research indirectly reinforces my grandmother’s sentiments. For many years, psychologists believed our minds could directly affect our physical state of being, but never the other way around. Nowadays however, it is widely documented that our bodies — for example, our momentary facial expressions and body posture — can directly affect our mental state of being too. So while it’s true that we change from the inside out, we also change from the outside in. And you can make this reality work for you.

If you want more passion in your life right now, act accordingly right now.

Put your whole heart and soul into something…

Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but the opportunity right in front of you.

Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but today’s tasks.

Not into tomorrow’s run, but today’s run.

Not into tomorrow’s conversations, but today’s conversations.

I’m absolutely certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time, energy, and passionate focus. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of passionate potential within you, just waiting. So stop waiting! Put your heart and soul into the small things you’ve got right in front of you. Do so, and your long-lost passion will show up to greet you. And almost everything you do will start to feel more meaningful and memorable.

So my challenge to you is this: Live your life not as a bystander. Live in this world, on this day, and every day going forward as an active, passionate participant! (Note: Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Passion chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

3. Being too controlling every step of the way.

Henry Wadsworth once said, “For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is to let it rain.” There’s a lot of wisdom in that line, and it’s mostly about acceptance…

Acceptance is letting go and allowing certain things to be the way they truly are. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about improving the reality of your life; it’s just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself and your thoughts about everything else. This simple understanding is the foundation, and only with this foundation can there be peace of mind and growth in the long run.

But how? How do you let go and change your inner state to one of acceptance?

There are many methods, but let’s start with some distance and breathing…

Everything seems simpler from a distance. Sometimes you simply need to distance yourself to see things more clearly. You are more than whatever is troubling you. A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment. Step back and observe this reality.

Be present. Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions. Your body may experience pain, and yet that pain is not you. Your mind may encounter troubles, and yet you are not those troubles.

Think of the most difficult challenge you face right now. Imagine that it’s not you, but a close friend who is facing this challenge. What advice would you give her? If you could step back and, instead of being the subject, look at your situation as an objective observer, would you look at it any differently? Think of the advice you would give your friend if she were in your shoes. Are you following your own best advice right now?

Don’t allow your current troubles to cloud your thinking. Take a few steps back and give yourself the benefit of this distance, and then give yourself some great advice.

Perhaps this advice is to simply breathe…

As you read these words, you are breathing. Stop for a moment and notice this breath.

You can control this breath, and make it faster or slower, or make it behave as you like. Or you can simply let yourself inhale and exhale naturally. There is peace in just letting your lungs breathe, without having to control the situation or do anything about it.

Now imagine letting other parts of your body breathe — like your tense shoulders. Just let them be, without having to tense them or control them. Just let them breathe.

Now look around the room you’re in, and notice the objects around you. Pick one, and let it breathe.

There are likely people in the room with you too, or in the same house or building, or in nearby houses or buildings. Visualize them in your mind, and let them breathe.

When you let everything and everyone breathe, you just let them be, exactly as they are. You don’t need to control them, worry about them, or change them. You just let them breathe, in peace, and you accept them as they are.

Practice this. Make it a daily habit. And see how doing so gradually changes your life.

An Exercise for Building Better Habits Today

If you feel like you’ve mishandled one or more of the points above — or if you’ve just been lacking in the success and joy departments lately — this is for YOU…

Choose any area in your life that you want to improve, and then:

1. Write down the specific details about your current circumstances. (What’s bothering you? Where are you stuck? What do you want to change?)
2. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that have contributed to your current circumstances? (Be honest with yourself. What are you doing regularly that actually contributes to the situation you’re in?)
3. Write down a few specific details about the “better circumstances” you’d like to create for yourself. (What would make you happy? What’s the goal? What does an improved situation look like for you?)
4. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that will get you from where you are to where you want to be? (Think about it. What small, daily steps will help you gradually move forward from point A to point B?)

And as you’re working on actually implementing the necessary life changes, remind yourself: Your goal (#3 in the exercise above) is a good general guidepost. But your goal won’t make changes happen, your daily habits will. Too often we obsess ourselves with a goal — an end result — but we’re mostly unfocused when it comes to the habits — the recurring steps — that ultimately make that goal a possibility. In other words, too often we overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making a little bit of progress every single day…

So consider this: If you completely ignored one of your goals for the next few weeks and instead focused solely on the daily habits that reinforce your goal, would you still get positive results? For example, if you were trying to lose weight and you ignored your goal to lose 10 pounds, and instead focused only on eating healthy and exercising each day, would you still get results? YES you would! Gradually you would get closer and closer to your goal without even thinking about it. So use this knowledge to your advantage starting today!

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, as we move through the days and weeks ahead, it’s your turn to not fall back into your old habits and patterns of living simply because they’re more comfortable and easier to access. It’s your turn to remember that you’re leaving certain habits and routines behind for a reason: to improve your life — because you can’t move forward if you keep going back. And, it’s undoubtedly your turn to reclaim your full potential and make every day count going forward!

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Patience is not about waiting, it’s the ability to maintain a positive outlook while working hard for what you believe in.

Have you ever told yourself that you’re going to make something happen and then nothing happened? All details aside, it’s because you didn’t have the right habits in place — the little things you do every day that build up to something bigger. Your habits truly make or break you. Because in all walks of life you become what you habitually do. You will never make progress or change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is always found in your daily habits and routines.

In other words, regardless of your unique life situation or how you personally define success, you can’t become an overnight success. You become successful over time from all the little things you do one day at a time.

Failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail…

• You fail to check the books.
• You fail to make the calls.
• You fail to listen to your customers.
• You fail to innovate.
• You fail to do what must be done.

And then one day you wake up and your business has failed. It was all the little things you did or didn’t do along the way — your daily habits — not just one big catastrophic event.

Let this be your wake-up call.

YOUR LIFE IS YOUR BUSINESS!

YOUR HABITS ARE YOUR BUSINESS!

So today, let’s discuss some super-common daily habits Angel and I have seen plaguing dozens of our coaching clients and conference attendees over the past decade — little things many people do over and over again that waste nearly all their time and energy in life:

1. Change nothing and expect different results.

There’s a saying that the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Take this to heart. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Oftentimes the only difference between a successful person and a person who makes little progress is not one’s superior abilities, but the courage that one has to bet on their ideas, to take calculated risks, and to take steady steps forward.

Truly, some people sit and wait for the magic beans to arrive while the rest of us just get up and get to work.

2. Keep waiting for the right time.

Even when we have productive intentions, too many of us waste so much of our time waiting for ideal paths to appear. But they never do of course, because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. So stop waiting today…

Think of today as the beginning — the conception of a new life. The next nine months are all yours. You can do with them as you please. Make them count! Because a new person is born in nine months. The only question is: Who do you want that person to be? Now is the time to decide.

And no, you shouldn’t feel more confident before you take the next step. Taking the next step is what builds your confidence and fuels your inner and outer growth.

3. Believe good things come fast and easy.

A goal is a point of achievement that requires effort and sacrifice. There are no esteemed goals worth participating in that don’t require some level of effort and sacrifice. My 90-year-old grandmother once told me, “Decades from now when you’re getting closer to the end, you will not remember the days that were easy, you will cherish the moments when you rose above your difficulties and conquered challenges of magnitude. You will dream of the strength you found within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible.”

So don’t just do what’s easy today, do what you’re capable of. Astound yourself with your own abilities. And as you struggle forward, remember, it’s far better to be exhausted from little bits of effort and learning than to be tired of doing absolutely nothing. Effort is never wasted, even when it leads to disappointing results. For it always makes you stronger and more experienced in the long run.

4. Refuse to accept necessary risks.

Living is about learning as you go. Living is risky business. Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you get out of bed in the morning, you take a small risk. To truly live is to know you’re getting up and taking that risk, and to trust yourself to take it. To not get out of bed, clutching to illusions of safety, is to die slowly without ever having truly lived…

Think about it. If you ignore your instincts and let shallow feelings of uncertainty constantly stop you, you will never know anything for sure, and in many ways this un-knowing will be worse than finding out your instincts were wrong. Because if you were wrong, you could make adjustments and carry on with your life, without always looking back and wondering what might have been.

5. Make the rejections of yesterday the focal point of today.

Be okay with walking away when the time comes. Rejection teaches us how to reject what’s not right for our well-being. It won’t always be easy, but some chapters in our lives have to close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.

All too often we let the rejections of our past dictate every move we make thereafter. We literally do not know ourselves to be any better than what some opinionated person or isolated circumstance once told us was true. Of course, this old rejection doesn’t mean we aren’t good enough — it means the other person or circumstance failed to align with what we had to offer at the time. It means we have more time now to improve our thing, to build upon our ideas, to perfect our craft, and to indulge deeper into the work that moves us. And that’s exactly what YOU need to do, starting now.

6. Refuse to take responsibility.

You aren’t responsible for everything that happened to you, but you need to be responsible for undoing the thinking and behavioral patterns these outcomes created within you. Blaming the past for a limiting mindset today doesn’t fix it. Change your response to what you remember, and step forward again with grace.

A combination of your decisions and external factors for which you had no control brought you to where you are today. Negatively blaming someone else, or some past circumstance, will change nothing. Positively taking full responsibility for the next step on your path forward can change everything. Leave the unchangeable past behind you as you diligently give yourself to the present moment. In this moment is every possibility you seek. Take responsibility for it, and bring these possibilities to life.

7. Close your mind to new ideas and perspectives.

Remember that success in life does not depend on always being right. To make real progress you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers. Even as you grow wiser with age, you must remind yourself that an understanding is never absolutely final. What’s currently right could easily be wrong later. Thus, the most destructive illusion is a settled point of view.

So don’t stop learning! Don’t stop investing in yourself. Study. Read. Devour books. Engage with people, including those who think differently. Ask questions. Listen closely. And don’t just grow in knowledge. Be a person who gives back. Use what you’re learning to make a real and lasting difference. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts and Reflections to Start Every Day” is a great tool for keeping yourself on track with this kind of fresh daily perspective.)

8. Let a few negative people continuously distract you.

Your mind is your private sanctuary; do not allow the negative beliefs of others to occupy it. Your skin is your barrier; do not allow others to get under it. Take good care of your personal boundaries and what you allow yourself to absorb from others.

Of course, there will inevitably be a few people in your life who will be critical of you regardless of what you do or how well you do it. If you say you want to be a dancer, they will discredit your taste in music. If you say you want to build a new business, they will give you a dozen reasons why it might not work. They somehow assume you don’t have what it takes, but they are dead wrong! Let that sink in…

It’s a lot easier to be negative than positive — a lot easier to be critical than correct. When you’re embarking on a new venture, instead of listening to the few critics that will try to distract you, spend time talking to one of the hundreds of people in this world who are willing to support your efforts and acknowledge your potential, respectfully. And go ahead and leave us a comment down at the bottom of this post if you think you can’t find one.

9. Hold tight to something that’s not real.

Remind yourself right now that not everything is meant to be. Sometimes you have to track the data, review the data, and seriously sit down with yourself and come to grips with the fact that you were wrong about it all along. It was just an illusion that never really was what you thought it was.

It’s one of the most difficult realizations to accept, to realize that you feel a sense of loss, even though you never really had what you thought you had in the first place. The key is knowing this, learning from it, letting go, and taking the next step forward. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Adversity and Growth chapters of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

10. Maintain rigid expectations every step of the way.

Simple things become complicated when you expect too much. Rigid expectations truly are a root cause of heartache. Don’t let them get the best of you. Every difficult life situation can be an excuse for hopelessness or an opportunity for personal growth, depending on what you choose to do with it. So start by choosing to let go of the expectations that aren’t serving you.

A mistake doesn’t hurt, expectation does. A rejection doesn’t hurt, expectation does. And so it goes…

Remember, the mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the fiercest conflict resides. It’s where half the things you feared would happen, never actually happened. It’s where your expectations get the best of you, and you fall victim to your own train of thought time and time again. So don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your rigid expectations in life is the best way to avoid being disappointed by everyone and everything you encounter.

Truth be told, one of the most important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because, when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything…

An Exercise for Building Better Daily Habits

If you feel like you’ve wasted too much time and energy on one or more of the points above in 2024, this quick actionable closing exercise is for YOU.

Choose any area in your life that you want to improve, and then:

1. Write down the specific details about your current circumstances. (What’s bothering you? Where are you stuck? What do you want to change?)
2. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that have contributed to your current circumstances? (Be honest with yourself. What are you doing regularly that actually contributes to the situation you’re in?)
3. Write down a few specific details about the “better circumstances” you’d like to create for yourself. (What would make you happy? What does an improved situation look like for you?)
4. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that will get you from where you are to where you want to be? (Think about it. What small, daily steps will help you gradually move forward from point A to point B?)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to not fall back into your old patterns of living simply because they’re more comfortable and easier to access. It’s your turn to remember that you’re leaving certain habits and situations behind today for a reason: to improve your life — because you can’t move forward if you keep going back. And it’s undoubtedly your turn to reclaim some of your time and energy, and make today count!

But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

How to Grow Wealth on a Daily Basis by Being Resourceful

Hey there — I’m Amos, and I’m here to tell you something that might change how you think about wealth:

You don’t need a lot of money to start growing wealth.
What you need is resourcefulness — the mindset that turns what you do have into something more.

In fact, when you get serious about using your daily moments wisely, wealth stops feeling like a distant dream and starts becoming a real, daily rhythm.

Wealth Begins in the Mind

True wealth doesn’t start with a bank account. It starts with how you see the world.

Being resourceful means:

• Seeing opportunity where others see lack
• Asking “What can I do with what I have?” instead of “What don’t I have?”
• Staying curious, disciplined, and adaptable, even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed

Every day gives you a choice: to spend, waste, or grow your time, energy, and attention.

Small, Daily Moves = Massive Long-Term Gains

Here are a few resourceful habits that build wealth quietly, steadily, and powerfully:

• Track everything — Awareness is power. Knowing where your money goes gives you control.
• Automate small savings — Even $1/day becomes $365 in a year (plus interest). It’s the habit, not the amount, that matters.
• Turn knowledge into income — Write, teach, create. Your ideas have value.
• Make one connection a day — Relationships are currency. One new person can open a world of possibilities.
• Build a ‘resource stack’ — List your skills, experiences, contacts, tools. Revisit it weekly to spot what you’re underusing.

Resourcefulness in Action: The Wealth-Maker’s Mindset

Let’s break it down:

• You have a phone – that’s a business tool.
• You have a story – that’s content someone needs to hear.
• You have 10 minutes – that’s time to learn, invest, or reach out.
• You have one connection – that could lead to your next project or sale.

Wealth grows when you stop waiting for better circumstances and start maximizing the ones you already have.

The Bottom Line: Be More With Less

Every wealthy person I’ve studied didn’t start with more money.
They started with more intention.

So if you’re asking, “How resourceful do I have to be to grow wealth daily?”

Here’s the truth:

As resourceful as you are willing to become.

Because daily wealth isn’t just about income — it’s about momentum, mindset, and mastering your minutes.

Keep showing up. Keep building.
And remember — you already have everything you need to start.

Ready to turn your daily habits into lifelong wealth?
Join the Age and Wealth community and get practical tools, inspiring insights, and weekly wisdom to help you grow — financially, personally, and purposefully.

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