It’s our first full fall in the new house, and October already feels full in the best way. I’m excited to experience our first stretch of fall holidays here—prepping for Halloween, hosting a few events, and planning for Thanksgiving. I’ve been working on Halloween decorations this week (taking the girls’ requests into account, of course), and the first room we designed in the house is finally getting prepped. The girls’ rooms are also getting some updates— fresh paint, new window treatments, and rugs.

We kicked off the month with the launch of my Kilte collaboration, which has been such a rewarding project. And now, we’re packing up to head somewhere cooler for the weekend. Here’s a peek at what we’re doing, wearing, buying, and eyeing this month.

What We’re Doing

• We’re kicking off the month with a trip to England and Ireland for the girls’ fall break— starting in London, then to the countryside, and finally over to Ireland to visit my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. I can’t wait to explore with the girls and Thomas is running his first marathon in Ireland!
  
• Halloween prep is underway. Since this is our first year decorating an almost 200-year-old home, there’s so much more to work with. I ordered 12 of these skeletons to “climb” the front of the house– now I’m just trying to figure out how to actually create it!
  
• I ordered the girls’ Halloween costumes a few weeks ago— Pottery Barn always delivers on the princess-fairy-light-up-front. Goldie picked this Fairy Butterfly costume, and Clementine picked two: this purple witch one and this candy fairy one. I always get two— one for school and one for Halloween night. I’ll be matching Clem this year with this cape, a black hat, and a black lace dress.
  
• My collection with Kilte launched this week. We hosted a dinner at our house last night to celebrate— it was an entirely new direction for the brand, and I love when collaborations stretch both sides creatively. I’m so proud of how this one came together.
  
• Amazon’s Prime Big Deal Days are coming up next week. Here’s what I suggest saving to buy:
• I’ll be posting a “What I’m Packing” video for England and Ireland later this week on Trade Offs (for paid Substack subscribers).
  

  What I’m Wearing

• AEYDE suede boots — packing these for our trip; I already know they’ll be on repeat
  
• Hunter Bell faux burgundy skirt — it’s coming with me too
  
• Pillbox hat — my first! Still deciding if I can pull it off, but giving it a try in London
  
• Cashmere triangle scarf — I have it in both colorways; love the bold pop it adds
  
• Maygel Coronel bodysuit — my go-to statement with fall skirts
  
• Leopard Print Jeans
• Jamie Haller penny loafers  — these feel like butter on
• Missoni dress — also coming with me

What I’m Buying

What I’m Eyeing

Travel is a transformative experience, especially for children and teens. But planning trips for the whole family isn’t always easy. As a parent and travel advisor, I’ve seen firsthand how travel pushes young minds to become more curious, adaptable, and tolerant, all while presenting the opportunity to disconnect from an increasingly digital world.

Norway and Sweden might not seem like the most obvious family destinations, but these Nordic countries are quietly gaining traction for multi-generational travelers. Their proximity to each other makes for the perfect two-nation vacation that combines stunning scenery, rich culture, and a sense of laidback luxury. Here’s how to craft the perfect itinerary for your family.

Norway

Our journey begins on Norway’s dramatic west coast, where reenactors in the Viking village of Njardarheimr offers an engaging glimpse into local heritage. There, try archery and axe-throwing, taste Viking recipes, or learn traditional handicrafts.

For an exhilarating ascent, the next stop is Loen, just a few hours north of Njardarheimr. Take the Loen Skylift, which soars 3300 feet above the fjord to the top of Mount Hoven. Just a short walk away, a summer-only zipline offers an adrenaline rush, propelling visitors over the upper fjord with incredible panoramic views toward the famous Gjølmunne Bridge.

Where to Stay

• The exceptional 29/2 Aurland is just a short drive from Njardarheimer and has incredible views of the fjords. This boutique hotel, complete with a smokehouse and garden, is the perfect base from which to cycle through the mountains and valleys, visit family-run farms, and take to the water in a traditional Oselver rowboat.
• The Union Øye opened in 1891 and has hosted a number of historic celebrities from German emperor Wilhelm II to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the writer behind Sherlock Holmes. Tucked away in a secluded fjord hamlet, the location is perfect for adventurers seeking to e-bike or kayak, and the whole family can embrace local traditions with an exhilarating cold water plunge in the fjords before warming up in the floating sauna. 

Sweden

The second part of this trip begins in idyllic Vaxholm, known as the capital of the Stockholm archipelago. There, you’ll find pastel wooden houses, hiking trails, a 16th-century fortress-turned-museum, and serene waters perfect for kayaking. Travel companies like Jacada Travel offer local experiences, like learning to make traditional cinnamon buns with local bakers, to take your experience one step further.

Next, head up north to the Swedish Lapland, where the magical winter landscape is perfect for family activities like dog sledding and snowmobiling. Travelers can also go hiking or mountain biking, or take photography workshops to capture the Lapland’s natural beauty. Visits to the indigenous Sámi people in towns like Jokkmokk offer rich cultural experiences. Learn about Sámi history and traditions, shop local artisan crafts, and follow herders to meet reindeer.

Where to Stay

• Nestled in Stockholm’s upscale Östermalm district, Ett Hem is a stylish red brick townhouse with a home-away-from-home feel. The hotel offers a haven of laid-back elegance with a distinct sense of lived-in luxury and warmth. 
• The Treehotel is a unique treehouse stay in the arctic north of Sweden. With eight incredible rooms situated above ground, ranging from a UFO to a bird’s nest, it’s sure to spark joy and wonder in the whole family. Plus, the location is perfect for seeing the northern lights between September and April.

Kate Herz is a member of Travel + Leisure’s A-List and specializes in Norway and Sweden trips. You can create a tailor-made itinerary with Herz by contacting her at [email protected]. 

The JW Marriott Maldives Resort & Spa opened up in 2019 and has been a solid contender among the luxury properties in the archipelago. Yet six years later we wanted to know if it’s still on top of their game cause the competition in fierce and new resorts are popping up faster than ever before. Being branded as a family friendly resort we felt this was the perfect occasion to test it out.

So following our stay at Le Méridien Maldives we flew onwards to the beautiful JW Marriott Maldives Resort & Spa. To be clear, this is not the new JW Marriott Maldives Kaafu Atoll Island Resort which equally looks impressive yet is still on our ‘to do’ list.

The welcome

From the moment the doors of your seaplane open, it feels like you’re stepping into a James Bond movie and everyone on the island heard about your arrival. Truly a wonderful welcome by a small army of employees that clearly have unlocked the secret of being happy at work cause you couldn’t wipe the smile of their face, even if you tried.

The room

We stayed in a duplex beach pool villa. A mouth full but so is the villa. Tons of space, 2 bedrooms, an upper level which is like a tv-room that can double as an extra bedroom in case your husband snores or your wife is nagging about why it took this long before coming over here.

From the moment you walk in you’ll notice the practicality of the villa. A massive dressing where you can easily store all your luggage, high ceilings, 3 bathrooms (there are never enough if you stay as a family of 4), loads of windows to take in the verdant gardens and pool surrounding the villa and a big garden with multiple seating arrangements just to make sure you and everyone else in your family finds their own favourite spot in the sun.

The direct beach access is of course ideal but to be fair, it is equally fun just to hang around your own private pool and chill out in the privacy of your own garden.

The bathroom

The bathrooms are bathing in natural light and all the little toiletries you might think of are at your disposal, thoughtfully presented in eco-friendly packaging. Bathrobes for everyone, slippers for inside, slippers for outside, the list goes on and on but suffice to say that everything is well taken care of.

The facilities

As with many luxury resorts in the Maldives, there is a plethora of facilities on the island, starting off with the kids-and teens club. Already splitting the two is a great way to make everyone happy. See, my youngest is 6 and my oldest is 11. While the first one loves group games and all that jazz, my oldest feels he’s too cool for that and rather hangs out between the PS5 and the air hockey table. Both clubs are really welcoming and it allowed us as parents to increase our own free time significantly.

It’s not hard to crack the code of a good kids club, cause it always comes down to the staff working with the kids in order to keep them entertained and engaged. Still too many resorts keep thinking that an overload of toys and space will keep any child happy, but luckily JW Marriott Maldives got it right over here.

This is actually one of the largest kids clubs in the Maldives with up to 100 activities a week. Add to that a massive pirate ship in the garden, right next to the pool and you have the perfect combo.

So what does a middle-aged couple do when they get some kids-free time on a tropical island? Indeed….first stop is the spa! Spa by JW is ideal for couples featuring 6 couple’s treatment rooms and even a whole deluxe treatment suite. Of course went for the latter, I mean who wouldn’t?! And to be fair, it was the most impressive treatment suite I’ve seen and experienced in the Maldives with a plunge pool, glorious views outside, experience showers, relaxation area,….not to mention the massage itself which was perfectly executed.

Next stop? The wine room! JW Marriott Maldives truly has an impressive wine collection with over 300 labels which in a remote location as this, isn’t a given. Lots of choice from both the old and new world. We even found wines from the South African wine estate where we got married, so you can already guess which one we picked.

Drinks are great but what about the food options? Well, I’m happy to report that none of us even remotely remembered what is was to feel hungry when we left the resort as the food is consistently of very high quality. There are 5 different restaurants ranging from Italian and Thai to international and Japanese. Each of them offering a wide range of food options, and for the kids there’s equally an adjusted menu in each outlet which is much appreciated as a parent and often overlooked by competitors. My favourite was Hashi, the Japanese restaurant. I instantly felt like I was back in the streets of Tokyo, trying out all kinds of yummy dishes.

An honourable mention goes to Kaashi, the Thai restaurant. Not only because of the outdoor kitchen that reminded me of the countless open kitchens in Bangkok, but mainly because of the design of the restaurant. It’s located on stilts in between the trees, with small suspension bridges in between, making it feel like you are in a true jungle restaurant several feet up.

One culinary experience I haven’t talked about yet is the newest addition Riha. Imagine a sunken dining and kitchen area on the beach where you go on a culinary 8-course journey through India. Thanks to the centuries of trading between the Maldives and India, this experience is one not to be missed. I would suggest making reservations on time cause seating is very limited.

And did I mention the floating breakfast which looked more like a floating marketplace due to the amount of food that was presented? It didn’t even fit on the floating device, resulting in our whole outdoor area being covered in the most yummy breakfast spread I’ve seen in a very long time.

Let’s talk about how you can try to leave at least of few of all these gathered calories on the island. There’s a gym with stunning views over the lagoon and we saw an abundance of marine life swimming right underneath it. Same goes for the yoga deck which is located nearby and where you can practice your downward facing dog in the morning while the sun gently rises on the horizon. If you can gather a few friends, or want to cheat and bribe the teens in the teens club, you can show your soccer skills on the field which is located right behind the kids club. And of course you’ll also find all possible water-sports available if you’re tired of playing on land.

All of this makes you thirsty isn’t it? Luckily there’s this cool JW Garden where you, accompanied by the in-house mixologist, can forage your own ingredients to create your personal cocktail (or cocktail for the kids). I really liked this garden to glass concept, and it’s a fun activity for the whole family which eventually ends up with a cocktail in your hand. That’s a win-win in my books!

The location

The JW Marriott Maldives Resort & Spa is located in the Shaviyani Atoll, about a 55-min flight with the seaplane from Malé. It’s a bit further than most of the other resorts which you fly to BUT….because it is a little bit more remote, it also feels a little bit more tropical island. Let me explain.

Most resorts in and around Malé have planes flying over and ships crossing your horizon all day long. I don’t mind that, but many people do. However, if you go somewhere a bit more remote like this resort, you’ll have endless views with hardly any ships passing through, and the only planes you’ll hear and see are the seaplanes dropping or picking up guest which is maximum a handful of times a day.

One final bonus of its location is the fact that you get a slightly longer flight on one of the Trans Maldivian Airways (TMA) aircraft, allowing you to soak in some of the most stunning scenery on the planet for free. And you get to experience what is probably the only airline in the world whee the pilots rock up in shorts and slippers.

Other nice touches

Another advantage of the more remote location is the fact that you can go on excursions where few other people come. For example, we went line fishing with the local staff on a dhow near a deserted island in the late afternoon. Literally just 20-30 minutes out, dropping anchor and starting to fish with some good camaraderie and banter among everyone. Experiencing this in such a remote location is not always a given but here it’s relatively easy to do.

Best part of it all? Whatever we caught would be brought to the chefs on the island and they would prepare it for us as dinner or lunch, depending on your preference. My son got lucky and as a lover of Japanese cuisine he had the best sashimi for dinner and lunch thanks to his massive catch, putting me to shame in front of everyone.

Cost

Surprisingly the cost for staying at this luxury resort in the Maldives starts from around 470 USD per night for a 1 bedroom beach pool villa. Of course, taxes, fees and transfers still need to be added (and they do add up), but for that price you get a solid product in one of the most high-end destinations in the world.

Our 2 bedroom duplex beach pool villa start from around 700 USD per night without the taxes, fees and transfers. Of course being a Marriott Bonvoy property you can book a night here from as low as 79.000 points which in my opinion is a steal!

The best bit

The people…. no question about it. An experience I will cherish was the one during our final evening where we organised a traditional Malaafaiy beach dinner and all of a sudden a dozen of staff members came to bring our Maldivian feast but stick around to sing and make music under the beautiful night sky. Simply amazing and an absolute treat for the whole family.

The final verdict

While there is a new JW Marriott resort just opened up, the original one is still shining bright with tons of activities, very spacious and well-appointed villas and a thriving culinary scene. Very family friendly but perfectly suitable for couples too.

Disclosure: Our stay was sponsored by JW Marriott Maldives Resort & Spa.

Our collective nerves spiked the instant we arrived at the Kern River. A steely quiet came over Erin, my partner, as she eyed its waters, which flow with visible fury through the southern foothills of California’s Sierra Nevada. Her daughter, Etta, who was a day shy of turning 13, had a similar reaction. I knew this to be their shared method of armoring up for the unknown—and a wholly appropriate response to the occasion. Bobbing at the river’s edge was a blue rubber raft in which we were to spend the next two days navigating 20 miles of turbulent whitewater.

Still, their silence amplified my own jitters. We were on a new trip from Momentum River Expeditions, an Oregon-based outfitter specializing in luxury-tinged rafting adventures throughout the American West. It was also something I’d been itching to do for the better part of my life. When I was growing up my father ran rivers often, relating his exploits in a highly infectious, off-color poetry and always assuring me that I would join him once I was old enough. But when I turned 13—generally the age when you can trust a kid to handle a paddle in serious rapids—my dad moved away and started a new family. Our relationship descended into estrangement and our would-be rafting trips, like so much else, failed to become a reality. 

Suffice to say that, three decades later, it was a touch loaded to be on my first multiday rafting trip with my chosen family of Erin and Etta—and especially for it to be on the Kern, which Erin introduced me to. Fed by the snowmelt of Mount Whitney, the tallest peak in the continental United States, the 165-mile river winds through the Sequoia National Forest, a majestic landscape that has long held sway over seasoned fly-fishermen and hardened river rats. Though only three hours by car from Los Angeles, where we live, it’s a region of California that’s remarkable not just for its rugged splendor but also for the absence of crowds and Instagram-friendly curation that have come to define more popular parks like Joshua Tree. This is what Erin loved about the area, which became one of the first things I loved about Erin after she took me for a long weekend early on in our relationship. Over the years, she, Etta, and I have driven up often—including, at my prodding, for a half-day rafting trip back when Etta was eight. 

This adventure would be a very different beast: more challenging rapids, to say nothing of the sense of immersion that any rafting junkie will tell you comes only by making the river your home for a few days. As one of Momentum’s “Wilderness Gourmet” trips, it would also introduce us to the singular flair the company brings to such excursions. We’d end our first day at its newly constructed base camp, where we’d indulge in a multicourse feast prepared by Matthew Domingo, a chef who helped Momentum pioneer these journeys 15 years ago. 

After a tutorial on paddling commands and basic safety, our guide, Shana Sims, led us to the raft we’d be using. My family was in the lead raft in a flotilla of three carrying a total of 15 guests, and as we were whisked into the Kern’s current, something extraordinary happened: our anxieties evaporated. Sims played a key role in this. A sinewy spark plug of a woman and veteran of a number of Momentum’s runs—the Salmon in Idaho, the Rogue in Oregon, the Tatshenshini in Alaska—she had a manner, at once chill and focused, that instilled confidence. But equally critical was something that often gets eclipsed by the air of adrenalized machismo that defines rafting culture—namely, how relaxing it is. 

Yes, there is the whitewater, which we’d come to learn could at times be steadfast in its determination to rip our bodies from the raft. But most of the trip was dominated by a drift that was languid, meditative, sharpening the pixels of the present tense in a way that is increasingly rare in our pixelated age. As we were moved, quite literally, by the landscape, everything around us took on an almost Technicolor quality. The whirlpools that appeared as fast as they vanished. The shifting light on the granite boulders that peppered the hills. The silhouettes of hawks circling overhead. The grins, giggles, and gasps of the people I cared about most in the world. 

When we reached a particularly calm section of river, Sims made an announcement: “If anyone wants to take a swim, now’s the time.”

Erin jumped in. I followed her. The water was an icy whoosh—and a veritable elixir on that nearly 100-degree day. Her daughter may have been the one turning 13 that weekend, but, just then, it was Erin who became the teenager among us. “Oh my god!” she hollered. “This is freakin’ AMAZING!” 

On past trips, we had beelined from L.A. to one of the tumbledown motels in Kernville, the area’s quaint main town. Our days there tended to revolve around wandering the Sequoia National Forest’s many mountain paths, the Cannell Meadow Trail being a favorite; lounging in the hot springs along the river; and taking in the sunset from Kern River Brewing Co., a restaurant with sweeping views of the valley. 

But in keeping with the ad-hoc theme of our weekend, we opted this time to drive up via the Cuyama Valley, which unfurls at the border of Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo counties and is two hours from both L.A. and Kernville. 

Our destination was Cuyama Buckhorn, a roadside motel that in recent years has been made over into a stylish resort with vintage flourishes, such as bocce courts and firepits ideal for roasting s’mores. While all that sounded like a lovely complement to the comparable grit of a rafting trip, we gravitated to the Buckhorn largely for goat hiking, a new experience the property can arrange for guests. This is more or less what you’re thinking: a hike accompanied by goats—specifically the trio of sturdy pack goats that live in the care of the hotel’s trail guide and head bartender, a rangy, affable guy named Sam Seidenberg. Erin and I had an ulterior motive. While we wanted to do something special for Etta’s birthday, we also wanted to test a hypothesis: Would the addition of goats bridge the gap between Etta’s total lack of interest in hiking and our love for it? 

The answer was yes. After a day spent lounging at the Buckhorn’s pool, we met Seidenberg and his goats and set off into the foothills of the Sierra Madre. As California quail darted through scrub oaks, Seidenberg foraged for various ingredients—purple sage, yerba santa, manzanita berries—to create celebratory mocktails. One of the goats, with the regal name of White Ledge, carried the ice and bartending gear—serving, in essence, as an elegantly horned bar cart that was more than happy to be fawned over by a blissed-out Etta. 

After the hike, we ended the evening at the Buckhorn’s bar-restaurant, a woodsy den of taxidermy where the kitchen dazzled us with a meal featuring produce from local farms and a tomahawk steak of epic proportions. Knowing we’d be on a river 10 hours later gave the moment a distinctly Californian feel, a little like one of those aimless weekend road trips that evolves into a transporting adventure.

“This is…crazy,” whispered Etta when, after drifting 10 miles down the Kern, we arrived at Momentum’s base camp. An enclave of safari-style tents set atop wooden platforms—inside two of which, as if by magic, our luggage awaited—the experience was like being shipwrecked in a place you never want to be rescued from. Adirondack chairs were fanned out along a small beach on the riverbank; there was a cornhole situation, and board games and decks of cards were piled up by a communal table. At a makeshift bar shaded by a sycamore tree, one of the guides was mixing cocktails that contained pisco and ginger. Crazy indeed. 

Meanwhile, Chef Domingo was busy preparing dinner at the impressive camp kitchen, which faced a table laden with wines from nearby Paso Robles. What followed was a family-style meal loosely inspired by Peruvian-Asian cuisine: heirloom tomatoes flecked in tomato powder and tossed with crispy shallots; a tangy ceviche of shrimp and whitefish; marinated hanger steak with an aji amarillo paste; and roast chicken in verde sauce. To eat like this anywhere would have been a treat; to eat like this in the wild, after a day on the water, felt downright illicit. When a dessert of tres leches cake arrived, swimming in frozen cherries, Etta’s contained a candle to mark the start of her teens. 

After being lulled to sleep by the river, we woke to an equally decadent breakfast that, Domingo explained, was an homage to the region’s Basque community, which dates back to the shepherds who came to work on area ranches from the late 1800s onward. Along with eggs piperade, a dish made with a ragoût of tomatoes and peppers, there was a gratin of caramelized leeks and shredded potatoes. So delicious and leisurely was it all that I’d almost forgotten we had another full day of rafting ahead of us. 

Back on the river, we were all more comfortable, having developed a Pavlovian response to Sims’s various commands: “LEFT SIDE BACK!” “LEAN IN!” “BACK ON THE JOB!” On calm sections of the river, Sims gave both Erin and Etta a chance at the helm; she also let Etta “ride the bull” through some midsize rapids—which is to say Etta took them on while straddling the nose of the raft, feet dangling over the edge and holding tight to a rope in the manner of, well, someone riding a bull. 

The day ended in an exhilarating rush: three pounding Class IV rapids in quick succession. Despite their intimidating monikers—one was called Eat Rocks and Bleed—the experience was far more exhilarating than harrowing. Then came our last one, Pinball, which proved to be the most accurately named. I can’t say what happened exactly, but as we paddled into it the raft buckled and, for a second that felt like an eternity, Erin was directly above me, somehow both airborne and still seated in the nose of the raft, which was now folded like a taco. We both looked back for Etta, who was still technically in the raft, yet also shoulder deep in Kern, since the back half of the raft was fully submerged inside a churning hydraulic of water, with Sims somehow holding onto both her oars and Etta’s life jacket. 

Then—boom—the raft was spat out of the rapids, all of us still in it, laughing maniacally as we high-fived with our paddles. 

Pulling into shore, Sims asked us to name our favorite part of the trip. I knew immediately what my answer was: sharing this experience with Erin and Etta. I’d spent most of my life thinking of such trips as something my father did and that I’d missed out on. Now I understood: he was the one who had missed out. I also knew, from the slight quaver in my cheeks, that were I to attempt to say any of this out loud, it would not be only river water dampening my face. 

“Pinball,” I muttered. “That was nuts!” 

A version of this story first appeared in the July 2025 issue of Travel + Leisure under the headline “Making a Splash.”

Updated May 2024

“Mom, I can’t go,” 

I heard my 16 year old son say as he walked down the entry hall.  

I was loading the dishwasher and the dryer buzzed. The usual clamoring that occurred in my head around the 5 o’clock hour continued. Practices, homework, piles of items that were requested to be put away days ago all lay in front of me.  

“Mommmm, I can’t go.”  

He said it again, and this time I heard an inflection in his voice that paused the internal noise.  

What was he talking about? His little brother’s baseball game. Are we supposed to be at dinner with his grandparents? 

I looked at him and shot back.  “Where? Where can’t you go, Hunter?”  

“I can’t go on Spring Break, Mom. I can’t go with you guys.”

A multitude of emotions flew through my being as I processed his words. 

In the past, we had always been able to arrange our trips around him and his commitments. His little brother and sister are 7 and 8 years younger than him, so they had a flexible or non-imperative schedule. But, now, as they’ve aged, their little lives have grown to be less pliable.

“What do you mean you can’t go?”  

I came across with anger as if he had some sort of control or choice over the statement. This was a family trip we had been planning for seven months. 

A big one. An expensive one. One where memories would be made, gosh darnit!

For this Spring Break, we had decided to go outside of our norm and show our kiddos the world of the mountainous terrain out west. Skiing, snowboarding, tubing, all things snow!  We were hoping for solid quality time together in a new and awesome place that we had never explored before: Colorado.  

I took a breath as I looked at his face and – in that moment – I saw a young man standing in front of me. My be-bopping, moppy haired boy was not just standing taller than me, but also leaping fast and furious into a new chapter of his life. One that I didn’t see myself being as much a part of as I thought I would be.  

I had heard about the teenage years and the cliche of only having 18 summers. Gosh, I would love to have 18 summers. But, guess what… you’re lucky if you get 18.

For some, it’s about 12. 12 summers. 12 Spring Breaks. Once he hit the teen years, we were met with commitments. Much more significant ones. And also, the voice inside my head told me that I had to follow through with supporting what I had always told him,”If you make a commitment, you have to see it through!!” 

Commitments aside, by the age of 12/13 or so, kids start having opinions about how they want to spend their time. Maybe you can make them go… but they won’t be happy about it.

How had I just been coasting along and not seen this coming?  

Because: life.  

Because each morning, I wake up and fall forward to wade through the insurmountable day-to-day obligations: take them here, pick them up, wash uniforms, someone has a field trip, the dog ate a shin guard and soccer is tonight, one kid needs an orange shirt on Thursday but hates orange and doesn’t have one, three kids need a parent at three places and last time I checked there are only two of us, and what, they want to eat, too?  

My head crashes into the pillow and then…rinse, wash, repeat. 

That’s how I didn’t see it coming. 

Sixteen years of “rinse, wash, repeat” came to a screeching halt as I realized I couldn’t get one single day back. 

Not one day.

Not one week.

Not a spring break or a Christmas, a summer or a little league game.  

And now, not an opportunity to take a trip.

That stupid Facebook post that I’ve seen a million times haunted my mind… the days go slow but the years go fast. It’s that simple. It’s really that simple. 

I looked into his eyes and I realized that this was as hard on him as it would be on the other four of us. Maybe even harder. I said I was sorry, but we both knew that there weren’t words at the moment, or maybe ever, that would help.  

He explained that there was a tournament during that week that he felt he couldn’t miss. It wasn’t mandatory or because his coach made him feel he had to be there. It was because he knew it was the right decision.  

I gave him a hug and said, “We’ll figure it out,” knowing good and well, there was no figuring it out.  

That night, I laid there thinking of all the years that passed that we had reasons to delay or put off trips: finances (trips are expensive!), timing with work and really, Mom Life.

As I continued to lie there, I couldn’t help but think of my littles and what I wanted to (quickly) change about the years that I have left with them.  

Take the trip. Just take the trip. 

I thought of the missed opportunities and the regrets. I’m not one to dwell on the should-haves and could-haves because I truly believe if we are raising kind, happy kids, it’s okay to miss a lot of things.  

But this one really bothered me.   

If only we would have paused and realized the utter importance of the gift of travel as a family.  

While I will never forget leaving a piece of my heart at home while the plane took off to Colorado, it ended up being an important lesson as well as a trip that has quite possibly changed the trajectory of my daughter’s life. This meek and anxious 9-year-old, who had not a lick of self-confidence, found herself skiing down a mountain like she’d been raised on one.  

“Hi Mom!!!”  She waved and smiled so brightly a day after completing beginner’s ski school. “I’m moving to Colorado when I grow up and I’m going to be a ski instructor!” 

With that, off she went and hopped onto a ski lift after apparently checking any fear back at the gate.  

Was this the child I’ve known and loved for 9 years? Did that actually just happen? In one week, my daughter transformed. All because of the trip. 

Days and then weeks (eventually months) after our ski trip, it became more and more apparent to me as to what a profound impact travel can have on children, families, spouses and friends. 

Maybe it’s a quick getaway or maybe it’s that once-in-a-lifetime family bucket list destination.  Or maybe it’s a long weekend to reconnect with your spouse. No matter what it is, just take the trip.

Vacation, trips, whatever you want to call them, are experiences. They are memories that will be taken with each of us no matter where life goes. They can be impactful, even life-changing. 

As I reflect on the last sixteen years of motherhood, I have a few profound takeaways. 

It’s not what our children can hold that they will remember, it is what they felt. 

Memories and experiences from trips aren’t left in a toy box or on a shelf. They aren’t under a bed collecting dust or eventually dumped in a donation bag. They aren’t phased out as our children enter a new age and stage of maturity. These memories get quietly stored in a section of their hearts and minds that eloquently and gracefully make their presence known throughout their lives, that help shape who they are and who they’ll become.  

So where are you going this year? 

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Jen Grove is a travel advisor for Living with the Magic Family Vacations ~ Cruises, Beaches and All-Inclusives

Email her or check her out on Facebook to start planning your family’s dream vacation.