Friends, we’re finally at the end here. After ten episodes that somehow felt like 50 episodes, The Ultimatum: Queer Love season two arrives at its ultimate conclusion with this reunion episode. Below, find my reunion thoughts. And catch up on recaps from the whole season!

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Recap – Reunion

Okay, as someone who watches a lot of reality television, I’m a little confused about why they did the reunion the way that they did here. On most Bravo shows, the reunion is filmed after the events of the actual season but also after at least some episodes (often, half a season) have aired for the public so that the cast members can respond not just to what was in the episodes but also how viewers reacted to what was in the episodes. This reunion however was filmed a year after the events of the show but before any episodes dropped for the public. They don’t know what we’re seeing and picking up on!

I mean, let’s go ahead and start with what I think is the biggest shocker of the reunion: Magan and Dayna are still together. I’m shocked that they could have watched episodes one through nine and stayed together, but I have to wonder if once they’re more aware of how their relationship is perceived by viewers that it’ll shift something. I get that we’re seeing something produced and can’t know everything about other people’s relationships as mere reality television viewers…but is anyone watching and NOT seeing Dayna’s behaviors as manipulative and controlling? It’s not subtle! I don’t know how it could be spun in such a way that we’re “not seeing the real Dayna.” But who knows — her middle name is practically Spin!

But I suppose I’m getting ahead of myself! Let’s get into our updates on each of the couples. This recap is going to jump around the episode a bit, because it’s a chaotic episode!!!!! So instead of going linearly, let’s go couple by couple.

Britney + AJ

These two bring the least amount of drama to the reunion, because they’re still happily together in a way I find entirely convincing and sweet! They are still engaged but not married yet with no date picked. They have a location in mind though, and they’re thinking Destination Wedding. They both look great. They have learned a lot from their experiences on the show, including more work-life balance for Britney and more confidence for AJ. AJ thanks Marita for telling her that if it ever came down to the business or AJ, Britney would choose AJ every time. That gave her the push she needed.

We’re also treated to a clip package of all the times AJ talked about herself in the third person. Did other people notice this as it was happening during the season?!?!?! Because I did not, but seeing it all packaged together really made me laugh!!!! AJ’s just gotta be AJ.

Joanna Heterosexual Garcia Swisher asks the group if they think AJ was too forward during the dating week at the beginning of the season, and Ashley emphatically says yes in a way that suggests Ashley has some resentments about it. What I love about this whole thing though is that Britney doesn’t care at all. She knows AJ is just a charming flirt. She never seemed particularly threatened by it, and even now, she doesn’t care. Again: AJ’s just gotta be AJ.

The strange part of this though is how aggro Marie gets? Like Britney, I struggle to see Marie’s point when she keeps drilling into the fact that Britney and Marita got to have this lovely trial marriage that didn’t really threaten their existing relationships and meanwhile Marie had to see Mel with Dayna while also contending with the fact that Britney and AJ were meeting up. I agree with Britney: It seems like Marie is holding it against her that she ended up in such a good and low-stakes trial marriage with Marita. Marie just wants…empathy from Britney? This feels like such misdirected intensity from Marie, but that’s pretty much her mode the entire reunion.

“I’m trying to be so soft with everybody,” Marie says. If this is soft mode, I’m scared to see hard mode!!!! The vibe is so off. I think she’s just mad at Mel and doesn’t know how to process or direct that anger, so everyone’s catching strays.

Marita + Ashley

Unsurprisingly, these two are no longer together. But their interactions in the reunion are truly shocking. It gets a little confusing, because they both are still pretty bad at communicating and they also both clearly have entirely different ideas of what really happened, but I’ll do my best to summarize.

Marita shares that on decision day she was so heartbroken she didn’t know what to think or feel. She says when they went back home that Ashley was using her (???) and then Marita kicked her out and told her to go back to Indiana. Marita says she broke up with her in May. Ashley chimes in to say they did not get back together after the show but they went to Key West and had a good time. Marita interrupts. She accuses Ashley of gaslighting. Ashley says she was just acting weird on the show because she felt uncomfortable around cameras. This is a mess! And it’s about to get messier.

“Let’s talk about the fact that my grandfather was dying, and this one was cheating on me,” Marita says, pointing at Ashley. Marie asks if they had actually been together when that happened (why is Marie inserting herself here?!), and Ashley says that no they were not together. Marita is so perplexed Marie is weighing in, and same! Ashley says she can name five times that Marita cheated on her, and Marita says the words “I actually fucking hate you,” which MY GOD! I already found Marita to be pretty emotionally immature, but this is bad. There’s something about her reactions to things that just feels so childish to me. Ashley shares that her grandfather is dying right now, and Marita says she doesn’t care. Ashley walks off, and Marita says “yeah, get out!” Mel follows Ashley, and Britney goes to Marita to give her a hug.

I know we, again, don’t have all the details or know what really happened, but it’s hard to really see Marita’s side here, especially knowing Ashley’s history of abusive relationships. Marita’s desperate to control the narrative, and it’s not a good look!

Marie chimes in again to say “I see you. I’m right here. Let’s simmer.” Y’all WHAT is going on with Marie!

Ashley returns, and Marita vaguely apologizes? But it seems more like she’s apologizing to the Straight Host than to Ashley. Ashley says she could never scream that she hates Marita, because she doesn’t. She shares she was bawling her eyes out after Marita blocked her, eventually realized her self worth and tried to pull herself together, but that Marita and her have never been able to communicate about any of it like adults. You don’t say!!!! I don’t think there’s any real coming back for these two.

Straight Lady Joanna Garcia Swisher attempts to at least reorient the conversation back to the events of the show, and Marita sort of tries to blame Bridget and Kyle for talking Ashley into reversing the ultimatum? Bridget assures Marita that Ashley loved her a lot and there was no convincing that occurred.

Marita did not want to marry Ashley when the show began, and I just really don’t understand what Marita wants period! Other than a bouquet of grocery store flowers and some hand holding I guess?

Marie + Mel

If you can BELIEVE it, these two are also broken up. OBVIOUSLY. Marie has a very bizarre agenda at the reunion. First, she asks Dayna if she and Mel had hooked up prior to the conversation Dayna had with Marie at the cocktail party. Dayna says they kissed but that more didn’t happen until after the party that night. I get the impulse to become obsessive about timelines in the wake of being lied to by a partner, but babe, none of this matters anymore! Y’all are broken the hell UP!

Mel says Marie didn’t want to be with her anymore, and Marie confirms she broke up with Mel before the episodes aired, which she’s grateful for because she would have been embarrassed to still be in a relationship with Mel while watching the episodes. Leading up to the breakup, Marie had set more boundaries and didn’t want to do the food truck as much anymore.

Things get weird again. “Did you really think I didn’t know that you couldn’t have kids?” she asks Marie. Listen, I don’t really ride for Mel, but this is a wild thing to use against Mel! Marie then also says something about Mel’s lupus, and Mel never disclosed her actual chronic illness, so it’s kind of fucked up that Marie makes that choice for her! Marie also asks something about where all the lupus books went, and Mel is like I gave them away. I’m sorry…does Marie want credit for buying Mel books about the disease Mel has?

And now Marie wants to move on from lupus to………brussels sprouts. She wants to know what was up with the brussels sprouts Mel made for Dayna. Dayna is super confused. But Marie wants to know one thing: “Did you like them?” she asks Dayna, who is like yeah sure but come on what is this even about. “Who taught you how to make those?” she asks Mel, and Mel says “you didn’t teach me anything,” prompting Marie to call her crazy.

What is going on!!!! Marie is clearly just so mad at Mel that she can’t even really articulate herself. Sometimes when one is betrayed in a relationship, suddenly everything becomes a betrayal or evidence of the primary betrayal. I’ve been there, and I’m glad there weren’t reality television cameras around, but come on! Be mad about the brussels sprouts in your DIARY, don’t air this out publicly because you’re going to sound absolutely unhinged!

Please weigh in on BrusselsSproutsGate in the comments, because I’m still reeling.

Joanna “I’m an Ally” Garcia Swisher then wants us to dig deeper into the question of whether Mel lied to Marie on camera about having sex with Dayna. OBVIOUSLY, SHE DID, though I hear Mel is still defending the lie on TikTok? Can anyone confirm? Joanna asks Haley if the Spotify playlist was the receipt to which she referred when she told Marie there was proof Mel and Dayna were fucking, and Haley does regret using the language of “receipt” and “proof” but says yes that’s what she had been referring to.

We then get a clip package of everyone in the cast reacting to the Spotify sex playlist scandal. The playlist was called “three weeks” with a rainbow emoji and a ring emoji. Haley says it had some horny songs on it and was being played at suspicious times of night. I’m mostly like: HOW DID MAGAN AND HALEY SEE THE PLAYLIST IN THE FIRST PLACE? There was clearly some producer intervention, but I don’t really understand the logistics.

In any case, Dayna wants to make it clear that the playlist had a lot of sad and yearning songs on it, too, and would have made for a depressing sex playlist. She thinks it was none of Haley’s business to bring it up.

And then there’s another clip package, this time of everyone in the cast attempting to define sex, with AJ explaining that the spectrum of what “counts” as sex can be expansive for queer people and lesbians. Dayna is insistent she and Mel didn’t finger each other. Joanna asks Mel outright if she had sex with Dayna, and Mel won’t answer, Dayna interrupting to say it’s no one’s business. Joanna also asks if Mel feels like she lied to Marie, and she says yes but also no? I’m sick of everyone on this show!!!!!!! Just be honest!!!!!

As for Mel and Dayna, Dayna tried to FaceTime Mel after filming, and when she didn’t answer, Dayna sent her a message and then was ghosted for two months. Finally, Mel wrote her back. The not-gay host asks what the tattoos mean to each of them now, and Dayna says they’re just a way to remember their time together. Mel says they were essentially in a competition with each other to see who could make the stupidest decisions. You know…I feel like there’s something about Mel and Dayna that really works. But alas, Dayna and Magan are locked IN. Did anyone else feel like they were GRIPPING each other to show just how strong they are coming out of all this?

Marie has nothing left she wants to say to Mel, and Mel has nothing left she wants to say to Marie. The food truck is fine by the way, I’m sure you were wondering. Mel is running it solo.

Kyle + Bridget

After a clip package featuring everyone’s fur babies (gay!), we move on to Kyle and Bridget for an update. They’re still engaged and living together. They don’t have a wedding date picked yet. Bridget makes a joke about being pregnant and then says no they can’t actually afford that. We get one last monologue about love from Kyle’s mom, who quotes the Wicked song “For Good,” which is sweet, but there’s nothing else to really say here! Good for them for being low drama, but it doesn’t make for the most thrilling reality television!

Haley + Pilar

These two are still engaged as well! When they left the show, Haley promised to propose back to Pilar within the year, and she did it one month later. They’re planning an elopement because of the state of the world and how Haley wants the extra security legal marriage could provide. They might eventually have a wedding.

Pilar did end up sharing her engagement with her parents and has come so far with them. Her entire arc all season was one of my favorite parts, because familial estrangement for queer folks is so common and so hard. She says she started standinf up for herself, which has led to more open doors. When she brought Haley to her cousin’s wedding, which was the first time she had brought her around extended family, she shifted from introducing her just as “Haley” to “my fiancee Haley,” which she said forced them to really look her in the eye and accept Haley’s role in her life.

Magan relates about the family stuff. Even though her family is coming around now, it was so push and pull for years, and she felt rejected by them, but she keeps choosing herself and it pays off. I do love this moment of connection between Magan and Pilar. They both have done really hard things by asserting themselves and their queerness around their family. Pilar has come so far in how she views and deals with her family situation just in the course of this show!

JGS then wants to hear Pilar’s point of view from the night at the club with Kyle. I’m still unclear on what happened here also. Kyle wishes she could have been better about communicating how she felt. Pilar wishes that, too. Kyle cries again about how Pilar was there for her, and they hug. I think these two have closure over the whole thing, but I don’t? And I guess that’s fine! I’m not part of their lives! For viewers, it just went down so confusingly and was hard not to view it as anything other than Pilar ignoring Kyle’s boundaries? But that doesn’t seem to be how either of them are framing it now, so I’m not sure! Thoughts? Put them in the comments, because frankly my brain is just one giant brussels sprout.

Pilar says it was confusing to watch Haley and Magan but that she mainly just didn’t want to look stupid. But Pilar also realized she wasn’t prioritizing Haley by watching Haley with Magan and she was able to figure out what Magan could provide that she wasn’t and then adjust. Okay, I hate to say it, but this might be an instance where the premise of the show actually…worked? And brought two people closer? And helped them fix relationship issues? I can’t believe I’m admitting that!

Joanna asks Haley what it was like to be in love with two people at the same time, and I swear this show exists in a weird world where the words “poly” and “nonmonogamy” cannot ever be said??????? Anyway, Haley says doing the physical stuff with Magan made it that much harder to separate out her feelings. She also just really wanted to make Pilar feel secure after that, which she seemingly accomplished. So I think when everything’s said and done, Haley and Pilar both really handled everything together pretty well!

Dayna + Magan

I am just!!! So put off by these two still being together!!!! They’re still engaged, but they don’t have a wedding date yet. So literally no one has a wedding date yet. I get it, weddings are expensive and take a lot of work but set a date people! I don’t know why this is stressing me out!

We get a montage of Dayna and Magan’s past year together, which would be cute if I were more genuinely invested in this relationship, which I’m not!!! In fact, as the montage played, I wrote in my notes: “I’m scared.”

Magan has been bringing Dayna around her family, which is a big deal! I’m really happy for Magan’s growth she has been doing around her family, much like Pilar. Dayna says Magan has been really brave and believed in herself, and she admits that she finally had to be the brave one in going over to Magan’s mom’s house and acknowledges the bravery on her family’s part, too. Magan and Dayna didn’t anticipate their situations being so dramatic on television and hoped that maybe going on the show could help normalize queerness and queer relationships in some people’s eyes. Now they’re worried people could see their behavior on the show and think queerness is messy and fraught. Woof, I definitely understand that burden of representation!

Magan has previously mentioned that doing the show was the most queer and queer-affirming space she has ever really existed in, which is huge. I think Magan has done a lot of growing into her own queerness through this experience. I’ve watched a lot of reality shows recently where people have essentially used the platform of reality television to come out to family. Lake on Southern Hospitality kind of did it, too. It does seem like even though their drama ended up being pretty heightened, Magan did gain some tools for how to better advocate for herself and meet her family where they’re at.

Magan says that being with Haley was good because Haley was a good listener and gave her space. She found a lot of clarity in talking to her. Magan does say that she was telling Haley all the time that she loves her and wanted her in her life. She thinks Haley would have been an amazing friend to her. So I think this is Magan sort of reframing being in love with Haley to just loving Haley. And maybe that’s sort of what she was getting at when she first tried to backtrack telling Haley she loved her? But it all feels like a a weird spin again, and I can’t tell if Dayna’s the one holding the wheel or if they’re both sort of complicit in this attempt to reframe and control the narrative about Magan/Haley. I maintain that Haley did not use Magan nor does she owe Dayna an apology. And it’s hard not to notice how defensive Magan always has to be with Dayna. We saw a completely different Magan with Haley. I’m confused!

AJ and Britney hope Dayna/Magan and Pilar/Haley can end in a good place, because they’re friends with both couples and would love to have them all at their wedding. Marita hopes everyone can hold hands after, which is a wild thing coming from the only person who screamed “I hate you” during this reunion!

Joanna Garcia “Not a Lesbian” Swisher concludes that it seems like everyone is in a great space. DOES IT? AJ thinks the host deserves more credit for what she does, which prompts ol’ Jo to cry because it means so much to her because she really considers herself such an ally. No, I’m sick of all the attempts to make it seem Actually Good that she’s the host of this show! Get a queer host, I beg!

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And just like that, we’re BACK with the final three episodes of The Ultimatum: Queer Love season two, including two regular episodes leading up to and showing the six couples answer their ultimatums as well as a reunion that rattled me for DAYS when I first saw it. Catch up on past recaps, and read my recaps of episodes eight and nine below. My recap of the wild af reunion will publish tomorrow!

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Recap – Episode 8

I feel like we really ended on some emotionally devastating cliffhangers in episode seven, and crashing back into things here in episode eight feels…a little jarring? How much time has passed? How did we go from Dayna threatening to leave to Magan recommitting to her so fully???????!!!! Dayna’s influence is a bit unnerving! Anyway, let’s get into it.

Two Weeks Until Ultimatum Is Answered

Haley + Pilar

After their stressful balcony moment following Haley revealing she fell in love with Magan, Pilar is now worried that anything she does will only further push her away. She doesn’t want to tell Haley how to feel or project her own insecurities onto Haley.

And well, this episode basically made me sob straight out the gate, because everything Pilar is saying about how her behaviors and emotions have been impacted by her upbringing is so real. She did not get unconditional love from her family. She explains that the people who raised her are ashamed of her, and she doesn’t have a mom she can talk to about any of this.

Pilar doesn’t want Haley to just be with her because it’s all she has known for ten years, but she also believes in them as a couple. So do I tbh! I do think it is normal and natural for them to both crave other experiences outside of each other given that they’ve been together a decade and are only 29. I think Pilar wanted to experience something with Kyle, but when that was shut down she didn’t get the same kind of outside experience as Haley. I’m left wondering if nonmonogamy could work for them? And I say that as a deeply monogamous person! In any case, Pilar talking about her family makes me very sad. Losing Haley would mean losing the person who taught her real love in a way her family denied her.

Dayna + Magan

What a 180 these two have done!!!!! Magan apologizes for hurting Dayna, and Dayna wants to give this trial marriage everything so she can feel informed when she walks away from this experience. HELLO? I thought she was JUST wanting to go back to Michigan and/or have her mom come? Magan says she’s happy to be with Dayna and she is her home and comfort. WHAT???? I have whiplash with these two! I know people who have been in similar relationships where blowup fights were immediately followed by intense intimacy and closeness. IT IS A REALLY TROUBLESOME CYCLE.

Magan thinks she would not have had sex with Haley if the moment hadn’t happened where Dayna ignored her. WHAT? “It was a test and you failed,” Dayna says of the entire trial partner experience, and I am truly so confused. How does Haley suddenly have so much control and power here? Am I turning on Magan? Am I seeing her manipulated in real time? I can’t figure out what’s going on! Magan gently brings up the fact that Dayna was also sexual with Mel, which as we know Mel is denying, and Dayna downplays it by calling it kissing and a comfort thing, suggesting that what Magan did was different/”worse.” That balcony booty grab…that’s not how I personally comfort someone who is just my pal!

Marita + Ashley

These two who I think are fundamentally incompatible meet up with Ashley’s twin sister and regular sister. They seem close with Marita, which is cute. But again, I don’t think these two are meant to be together at all, and at this point I’m stressed out any time they’re on screen together!!! Ashley admits their first week back together was horrible. She’s still trying to figure out why it’s so hard for her to do these things Marita asks for. Her sisters are like you shouldn’t be together if you can’t get on the same page, and I agree!!!!!

Marie + Mel

Mel is still struggling to see herself in a long-term committed relationship, because she has never seen a happy married couple in her immediate life. No one has modeled that for her. I sympathize with the sentiment, but it’s almost like she completely absolves herself of any real agency or culpability in her own actions and decisions. Mel brings up the horrible relationship her uncle — who she lived with after her uncle died — was in. But Marie asks her if she thinks that’s how they’ll be.

The things that make Marie feel safe in a relationship, like trust and support, make Mel feel unsafe, Mel explains. Trusting and loving someone fully scares her. Okay, at a certain point I think Marie has to make a choice to walk away from this! Mel is essentially telling her she cannot be in a stable relationship. In fact, she says she doesn’t know if she wants safe and stable, because her life has always been chaotic. So…because she has only ever known dysfunction, she chooses dysfunction? GIRL, GET HELP!

10 Days Until Ultimatum Is Answered

Haley + Pilar

These two are going hard on trying to reconnect. They wake up to watch the sunrise, their first on the east coast. Pilar asks Haley what she needs, and Haley says she doesn’t feel prioritized by Pilar the way Magan prioritized her. (It’s a lot easier to make someone your priority during three weeks than after ten years together, but alas.) Haley says sometimes she tells Pilar she doesn’t want to do something and Pilar convinces her to do it anyway. Well, I do feel like we saw a bit of that in Pilar’s interactions with Kyle, too, so that tracks.

Pilar is trying not to take the confusion Haley is experiencing personally. I do think both of these two are trying to work through their issues in emotionally intelligent and mature ways.

Haley now brings up that while she and Pilar were out at the club, they ran into Magan and Dayna. Magan didn’t even look at Haley. So Magan did the thing she accused Dayna of doing?! Magan also told Haley they needed to cut all contact. Haley is confused, and I don’t blame her! They told each other they loved each other, and now Magan is cutting off contact, obviously in a attempt to appease Dayna.

Dayna + Magan

Well, these two are snuggling and telling each other they love each other, so I guess things are all good between them! I’m sick! Dayna tells Magan she has to get really intentional with Haley, and Magan tries to suggest she and Haley can be friends who just support each other, but Dayna shuts that down real quick and says that the relationship right now is not appropriate. Magan says maybe it just needs time, and Dayna shuts that down, too, saying it will take a lot of time if Magan wants to be with Dayna.

I don’t think Magan is completely innocent in the way the rest of this episode is about to go down, but I do feel like I’m so clearly watching someone be manipulated?!

Magan then brings up Haley ignoring her in the gym but then liking her photo, and Dayna says Haley is playing games. I really don’t think Haley is playing any games! Dayna says Magan is acting like she’s being the crazy one when really it’s Haley who is, and I think Dayna should get an Olympic gold medal in the sport of the SPIN.

Magan has gotten a lot of clarity. She doesn’t feel uncertain about any future possibility with Haley. Magan is fully back to Dayna. Well then!

Bridget + Kyle

It has become increasingly evident that the worst offense committed by these two is just being kind of boring. Kyle’s parents are back, and Bridget still wants to know what actual marriage adds to anything. Kyle never really seems to have a convincing answer for this. Kyle’s mom says it’s commitment and building a life together. Kyle’s dad doesn’t think she’s ready for marriage because of insecurity in her job and finances. Kyle says she isn’t ready to buy a house. Kyle’s mom points out Pilar was very mature and had a more secure profession, whereas Bridget and Kyle are two artists which makes life hard.

Well EXCUSE ME, I am a writer married to another writer, and our marriage is very strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But yes life is hard lol she got me there, drag me to hell KYLE’S MOM.

But no really, Kyle and Bridget probably belong together. They just disagree about marriage as an institution.

Britney + AJ

Delightfully, these two are on a date at the same Gyu-Kaku my wife and I went on frequent dates to when we lived in Miami. I hope they get the s’mores. They do get the spicy shrimp, which is also a crucial order. Anyway, you’re probably not reading this to find out What To Order At Gyu-Kaku.

AJ is still scared Britney will wake up one day and know she can do better. Really the only problem here seems to be AJ’s insecurity. AJ, it’s just the risk you take when committing yourself to someone! Just take the plunge! Britney accurately points out that this is an AJ Problem, not something that Britney herself has made her feel. She sees AJ as her equal, and AJ is the one who does not and is taking that out on Britney. I think these two will probably make it out of here. AJ just needs to get over her insecurities. And Britney to her credit seems to have a pretty endless capacity of patience for that (well, besides the fact that she issued her an ultimatum I guess).

Marie + Mel

Mel shares she tried to text Dayna, and then Dayna called her and said she was uncomfortable. Mel wonders if it’s coming from Dayna herself or from Magan. Mel agrees to step back. Dayna and Magan are basically trying to do damage control and lock in with each other, icing everyone else out in the process.

Magan + Dayna

Magan is grilling and living in her delusional bubble where apparently she did not fall in love with another woman and is ready to be Dayna’s wife. Dayna is stressed about the prospect of talking to Mel, who she feels is going to have an attitude. Dayna thinks their trial partners probably feel betrayed. Yeah, probably!!!! Cutting off contract is crazy work!

Pilar + Haley

Pilar asks what the pros and cons of talking to Magan are, and Haley says she’s going to make a game day decision about talking to her. Let’s see how it goes down at……….

The Cocktail Party

Everyone agrees this is pretty weird. Marita asks Britney and AJ if Britney made oxtail yet, and she did. So everything between Britney and AJ seems good! Oxtail for wifey!

Let’s zero in on the central conflicts that play out here in two separate private conversations:

Dayna + Mel

Dayna says Mel is being weird toward her, and Mel doesn’t feel like she’s being any type of way. Dayna’s spin work is already at play. Mel expresses she felt she and Dayna were really similar and that they grew together. Mel says Dayna made her feel less crazy whereas Marie has made her feel crazy for four years. Mel brings up that they left things saying they would be friends no matter what.

Dayna says that has all changed by the fact that Magan brought up that the matching tattoos were such a betrayal, because she and Dayna had apparently had a conversation that if they made it out of the show they would get matching tattoos. Mel says Dayna didn’t tell her that, and Dayna claims she doesn’t remember the conversation with Magan. SPIN CITY USA!!! POPULATION: DAYNA!!!!

Dayna tells Mel not to talk to her the way she talks to other people and criticizes her for not being patient enough. She tells her to drop the act. “I know you ride for me, but I also know you ride for Magan,” Mel says. Dayna apologizes for not being able to be there for her right now. I feel like Dayna is playing Mel and Magan at the same time and trying to keep them both as options for her?

Dayna and Mel also end up talking about Magan/Haley. Mel asks Dayna if she trusts Haley, and Dayna says hell no. But what has Haley done, literally! Dayna thinks Pilar and Haley came to the show to leave each other. “Magan knows she got manipulated,” Dayna tells Mel. Excuse me…Magan got manipulated…by HALEY??????? DAYNA, LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

Magan + Haley

Haley doesn’t really want to talk but agrees to anyway. Magan tells Haley that when things ended between them, because of how far they went, Dayna was in a hurt place and she wanted to maximize her time with Dayna. Haley says the cold turkey no contact was jarring though, and fair! Magan wanted to set a boundary and asks that Haley respects her trial marriage.

But Magan treated Haley the exact way Magan said Dayna was treating her during the first trial marriage. She ignored her! That’s what set Magan off in the first place! Points are being made! Magan says it hurt her not to say hi but that she felt like she had to choose between Haley and Dayna and chose Dayna. So, here it’s clear Magan’s decisions for how to interact with Haley are being determined primarily by Dayna.

Haley says Magan’s actions don’t line up with her words and she feels like she got to know a completely different person than whoever this Magan is. Haley has been really honest with Pilar, and that’s true! She told her she fell in love with Magan! And we saw Magan also tell Dayna she fell in love with Haley, but now she’s backtracking. She says she had an authentic few weeks and doesn’t regret things but that she also made certain promises she shouldn’t have because she thought she was at a point of no return with Dayna. She says she loves Magan for everything they’ve gone through but that she’s not in love with her.

Magan says Haley is making her feel crazy, and Haley says she’s making HER feel crazy, and I gotta say I’m on Haley’s side here! Magan! We all saw you fall for Haley and say you were falling for her! I know you’re trying to lock it down with Dayna now, but backtracking is so foolish! There’s footage! Appease Dayna I guess, but we’re all watching! And judging tbh!

One thing’s for sure: I’m glad my invitation to this cocktail party got lost in the mail.

One Week Until Ultimatum Is Answered

Haley and Pilar are parasailing! Marita is making a vision board! AJ got Britney a s’mores station to remind her of their date together! I guess they did get the s’mores at Gyu-Kaku.

Haley + Pilar

Haley’s dad comes over for dinner with these two, and Haley tearfully shares with her dad that she and Magan fell in love with each other and that Magan is now backtracking the narrative. Her dad very kindly tells her it isn’t the worst thing ever to read a situation wrong. Pilar posits that perhaps Magan was using Haley to make Dayna jealous, and I honestly don’t think it was that calculating, but I do think Magan and Dayna are two people who HAVE to be in a relationship so they go all-in on whoever they see as their most viable option. Magan went all-in with Haley, but now shes’ going all-in on Dayna in a way that requires her to push Haley away.

Haley’s dad tells Pilar he’s here for her, too, and Pilar starts crying and so do I!!!! Pilar doesn’t have a dad to talk to about any of this, and Haley gets to be so open with hers. And he’s supportive of Pilar, too, and that’s just so sad and sweet! Pilar says she hasn’t been proud of herself for a long time but has learned to stick up with herself and be patient.

Magan + Dayna

It’s time for People Having Serious Conversations Under Blankets on the Couch, Magan says she talks to her mom about Dayna a lot and that her mom will say something like but one day you’re going to marry a guy and have kids, right? But today when Magan called and was talking about Dayna, she said everything but the part about the guy. Progress! I’m rooting for Magan to make progress with her family even if I’m not rooting for Magan and Dayna to work out!

Ashley + Marita

More couch time. Marita starts sobbing after telling Ashley again that there are so many things she’s not getting. I think she’s realizing it’s not going to work. She wants a relationship and love and romance and she doesn’t want to just feel like friends. I really struggle to understand these two. Ashley holds her while she sobs, and Marita says she doesn’t get why Ashley can’t do all these things for her. They’re so bad at communicating! I don’t even want them in couples therapy; I just want them both in individual therapy.

Haley + Pilar

Pilar checks in with Haley, who is grateful for what they have. Pilar realizes that when she takes herself out of it, they’re able to resolve things better. They’re both genuinely trying witheach other. Pilar says if she were on the outside — like us, as viewers — she’d think they were fucked. I don’t actually think that Pilar! Y’all are pretty chill compared to Ashley/Marita and Magan/Dayna AND Mel/Marie!

Pilar and Haley feel bad for Dayna, Haley saying she wonders if Magan is the real problem in that relationship. Counterpoint: I think they could both be a problem.

Pilar doesn’t want to leave this and feel she was a safe second option.

Trial Marriages Final Night

Marie + Mel

Marie and Mel are making meatballs and sauce together, apparently a Sunday tradition and recreation of their first date together. Mel doesn’t want to work; she wants to be a stay-at-home masc. But what about the FOOD TRUCK!!!!

Mel says what she thinks switches by the moment. Yeah girl, that’s a red flag! Marie says Mel should trust her when she says something is okay. She feels confident and sure of what she wants and feels. Marie, girl, you can’t change who Mel is though. And she has shown you who she is over and over and over.

Dayna + Magan

Though I am turning on her, Magan wins a small piece of me back by referencing the Fast & Furious film franchise’s conceptualization of chosen family. Magan says they both fucked up, and Dayna makes sure to reiterate that yeah but Magan fucked up WORSE. She says it’s not like Magan hooked up with a random girl at the club but rather built a connection with and fell in love with someone else, which is DIFFERENT AND BAD…even though it is baked into the premise of the reality show they not only both chose to do but that Dayna strong-armed Magan into following through with when she originally wanted to leave.

Dayna laments that Magan doesn’t seem to regret anything she did or think anything she did was wrong. I think she likes having this card to play. Any time the conversation turns to her actions, she pivots to talking about what Magan did and how she isn’t sure if she can get over it. Then don’t and leave! Do your little spins elsewhere! I’m honestly tired of the spins!

Next: Ultimatum Queer Love Season Two Recap Episode 9

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Here we go! The final stretch of this first The Ultimatum: Queer Love season two drop! We’re discussing episodes 6 and 7, and you can revisit recaps of episodes 1-3 and episodes 4 and 5. And then we shall collectively wait with bated breath until the next drop on July 2.

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Recap – Episode 6

Third Week of Trial Marriages (Continued)

Mel + Marie

Yes, we have a rare and forbidden meetup of original partners mid-first trial marriages, but unlike the AJ/Britney meetups, this one is on camera. Marie picks Mel up in her car, and they have the entire conversation right there. Marie says Dayna made it very clear she’s so happy to have Mel as her trial wife. “And then after this lovely conversation, Haley comes and tells me there’s proof that you and Dayna are fucking,” Marie says.

She asks if they’ve fucked and if Mel is lying. Mel says no, that it didn’t happen. Well then where is this coming from? Marie wants to know, because she’s very fucking triggered. “Is this going to soil everything?” she asks. Mel says she and Dayna have a connection and that they kissed but that’s the extent of it.

WHY IS SHE LYING????????????????????????????????????????????? THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT EVENTUALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO SHORT-SIGHTED!!!!!!!!!!!

Haley + Magan

Magan gives Haley the lowdown on Mel confronting her and also tells her Dayna called her to tell her she doesn’t want to marry her. She thinks Mel and Dayna came in ready to protect each other because they know they’ve done wrong. Haley says Dayna was talking about how she and Mel have been holding each other. “Yeah, holding each other or humping each other?” Magan asks. Whatever receipts exist about Mel and Dayna’s physical connection, Magan seemingly has them, too.

“You’re not gonna slander my wife,” Haley says, to which Magan responds “PERIOD!”

Haley says marriage is not the milestone for her anymore, and Magan says she’s so proud of her. She’s showing herself to the world more, and the world could use more of her. Magan then squats Haley’s body? And they roll around on the floor. Okay, these two are simply in puppy love and nothing can touch them.

Dayna + Mel

Mel tells Dayna that Haley told Marie there’s proof they’re fucking, and this sets Dayna all the way off. She wants Haley’s phone number. “Slimy bitch,” she says. I for one would certainly never get on Dayna’s bad side. I don’t want her to run my food truck into the river, and I don’t even HAVE a food truck!

Five Days Until the Changeover

Kyle + Pilar

Kyle introduces Pilar to her mom and dad, who are very cute. Kyle’s upbringing was pretty lax, and as a result, she doesn’t always tell someone like a partner when she’s leaving or where she’s going, and she knows that’s something she should work on. Her mom warns Pilar against becoming Kyle’s therapist, which, fair. Kyle’s mom, almost acting as therapist, asks what issues Pilar has with Haley, and Pilar opens up about her family stuff.

Kyle’s mom actually gave Kyle’s dad a marriage ultimatum when they were first together, and she says you have to think to yourself not can you see your life with the other person but can you see your life without them? Ultimately, most of Kyle’s mom’s advice is geared toward making things work with Haley, which is nice. This is sweet! We could use some sweetness on this show, especially now that shit really is hitting the fan.

AJ + Marie

AJ asks if Marie prefers sunrises or sunsets, and Marie says a sunrise means she was up all night which is never a good thing so she’ll go with sunset. Fair enough! Marie says Mel is incredibly adament that she did not have intercourse with Dayna. She thanks AJ for making a safe space for her to fly off the handle about all of this. AJ says the topic of marriage with Britney feels scary, but Marie has given her the space to express herself. “Not to be gay or cheesy,” AJ says, and Marie calls her gouda, correcting it to “gayda,” the gooiest and cheesiest. At least Marie has AJ, who really does seem like a good friend through all this.

On a lighter note later, the two are talking about sex toys, and AJ notes poetically that she likes her shit swaaaaaaangin.

Dayna + Mel

Mel wants answers from Dayna. “You don’t know that I love you?” she asks. She tells the camera she has told Dayna she has “more than friend feelings” for her, and Dayna admits she wants her but isn’t sure what that means. You know what time it is! Time for People Having Serious Conversations Under Blankets on the Couch!

Mel really wants answers! What the fuck are we doing!, she wants to know. I think she’s probably spiraling after being confronted by Marie and knows she could lose her when the truth comes out so wants to know if Dayna is a viable option walking out of all this. Dayna says she can’t answer her questions without talking to Magan. Fair! Dayna worries that if she doesn’t tell Mel what she wants to hear, then she’s gonna shut down on her. Mel just wants her to be real, and she says every time Dayna talks about Magan she feels like she isn’t focusing on her. Idk girl, I think it makes sense for her to be thinking about talking about the person she has been with for 1.5 years a bit more than the person she has been “with” for < 3 weeks.

Dayna says the “breakup” didn’t feel real with Magan until very recently. Now is when I would normally chime in to remind us all that the breakups indeed aren’t really real and are just a construct of this show’s wild premise, but…in their case? It might be kind of real! I think Magan is kind of done with Dayna!

To avoid making any direct statements about her own feelings, Dayna instead says to Mel she thinks Mel knows how happy she is. Alright, we’ll leave it at that I guess!

Later in the episode, they get…matching tattoos. Matching four leaf clover tattoos. Dayna admits it isn’t the best idea but that she isn’t really a good idea person anyway. Magan and her have talked about getting matching tattoos, so she anticipates Magan getting mad. This is wild! Dayna needs to make up her mind: Mel or Magan? She’s sending a lot of mixed signals to them both. And Mel is really making the decision to get this tattoo with Dayna after Marie’s breakdown?! WHAT IS GOING ON.

Haley + Magan

Magan is meeting Haley’s family! And they’re doing it over a meal at home rather than out, which is pretty cute. Magan is excited to meet Haley’s dad but scared to meet her sister. She doesn’t have a sister herself, and she knows that kind of relationship can be intense. Haley also notes that her niece is like a sister to her. Magan asks if her outfit looks okay. Omg, she really cares a lot about this. Not beating the Falling In Love With Your Trial Wife allegations! Though to be fair, I don’t think either of them are really trying to beat those?

Haley tells her dad, sister, and niece how similar she and Magan are. They all know how different she is from Pilar. “We’ve always been super honest,” Magan tells them (for three weeks, I’ll remind you).

Haley’s sister immediately asks about kids, and Magan notes they discussed it on their first date. She reiterates she wants kids. She’s Lebanese and comes from a culture that emphasizes the importance of it. Haley tells her family that the fact that Magan wants to carry does nudge her a bit. This is not the Haley her sister knows! Haley’s dad is surprised, too, especially by how easy Magan and Haley are making this absurd situation seem.

Haley’s niece says Magan seems really genuine and kind but also starts crying, saying she really likes Pilar. Omg, someone assure this teen! I don’t think teens should be brought into the universe of this show at all! It’s too confusing and weird! If my sister were like “here’s this person I just met who I am considering a life with instead of the person I’ve been with for a DECADE” I would be so perplexed! But Haley does assure her that Pilar will always be in her life.

Magan reiterates that the whole experience has been eye-opening for her, and that not matter what a lot is going to change.

Britney + Marita

Marita wonders if she’ll have to change Britney’s name in her phone from “wifey” to “divorcee.” See, I love that these two are so unserious about it all. Suddenly, they’re crying and emotional, but it’s just because they both know what they want and aren’ sure if they’re going to get it from their partners.

Marita asks Britney what she hopes to see from AJ, and Britney isn’t sure what to expect from her. For what it’s worth, I do think Britney could end up with a ring on her finger at the end of all of this. I feel less sure of it for Marita.

But no one can say Marita didn’t have the best Trial Wife! Britney cooks her OXTAIL. It looks so fucking good!!!! That’s REAL love right there.

Ashley + Bridget

Not too much going on with these two, per usual. Bentley the dog prefers Bridget. They discuss how they need to better advocate for themselves when it comes to their Original Partners. The most interesting thing to me about this conversation personally is that Ashley lives in St. Pete! I’m sure I’ve probably seen her at the Dog Bar with Bentley.

Final Night of Trial Marriages

Dayna + Mel

On their last night together, Dayna and Mel read to each other from letters they wrote. Dayna wrote hers at 5 a.m. “I never knew how much I needed you,” she reads. Mel wrote a letter, too. “You have made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time,” she says. Who knows, maybe these two could go the distance!

Haley + Magan

These two are also NOT ready for The Changeover. They’re crying and cuddling in bed. Magan isn’t sure if she’s happy or sad right now. She has realized how important it is to make decisions for herself and that it’s possible to have the things you want.

Haley then says I LOVE YOU. And Magan says I LOVE YOU, TOO. They are IN LOVE. This, to me, is way juicier than sex.

The Changeover

Joanna “I’m an Ally” Garcia Swisher (yes, that’s her government name) is here to guide the stressed out lesbians through their feelings about The Changeover, during which they will exit their Trial Marriages with the people they chose and enter into new Trial Marriages with the Original Partners they came to the show with.

In a talking head, Pilar reveals her worst fear is that she’s ready for marriage and Haley is in love with someone else, to which I say: YIKES, GIRL. Because that’s indeed what has occurred.

Also heading into this conversation: Magan reiterates that every step she took with Haley was authentic but that she doesn’t necessarily want to close the book on Dayna. Dayna says Mel has promised her things beyond what Magan has promised. She says something about Haley getting her claws in Magan, and that’s such misdirected animosity. Haley has not manipulated Magan lol, Magan has made all her own choices. But I think choosing a narrative where it’s all Haley’s fault probably feels easier for her.

Sitting at the table, Britney shares that her Trial Marriage was amazing and that Marita was a huge cheerleader for her. I think these two are probably some of the only ones here who got real value out of this whole experience, and it’s because it had nothing to do with romance or sex but just personal growth.

Marita agrees. Britney gives her the “romantic antics” she doesn’t get from Ashley. Britney cooked her oxtail last night! AJ interrupts here: “I’m sorry?” She’s like THAT was a boundary! No oxtails were to be made! This is fair. This would be like me making my chai for another woman if I were on this show (in case it needs to be said: I WOULD NEVER BE ON THIS SHOW). Cutting through the brief humor of this moment, Ashley says she can see Britney giving Maria all the things she can’t. “I think they’d be a great couple honestly,” she says. AWK.

Ashley and Bridget have similarly had a very wholesome Trial Marriage focused on personal growth. Ashley compliments Bridget’s style and confidence. Bridget is proud of Ashley for building her self confidence and appreciates that she checks in before she leaves, which as we know Kyle does not. Bridget’s advice to Marita and Ashley is to both acknowledge their own faults. If Marita needs grand gestures, they need to better understand each other’s feelings more, Bridget suggests. Marita does not like receiving this relationship advice. She feels like Bridget is making assumptions. Ashley tells her to chill out, because they’re all in the same boat and probably all making assumptions about each other’s original relationships after the Trial Marriages. Here’s the thing about Ashley and Marita: They just truly don’t seem like a good fit for each other and not for any dramatic reasons. It’s just not a fit!

Pilar and Kyle are back to being in a very good place. Pilar acknowledges they had their hard moments but feels they came out stronger than ever. Kyle says Pilar helped her work through her emotions and be more understanding and mature through conflict. She tells Pilar she has so much time to work through things with Haley. DOES SHE? Because Haley seems to be very in love with someone else!

Okay, FINALLY, it’s time for some drama! Pilar does not care for the fact that Haley posted a quote on her Instagram story that said: “Sometimes you want to disappear but all you want to do is be found.” Now, personally, I think the main reason she should be mad about Haley posting this quote is because it doesn’t really make sense? And sounds silly? But no, Pilar is mad because she feels like Haley is passive aggressively suggesting something about their relationship and her new relationship with Magan. But Haley REALLY gets the kicker here: “You’re gonna talk to me about stories when you posted Kyle with heart eye emojis and then blocked me???????” DAMNNNNNN. Bridget is quietly like “I didn’t know about that.”

BLOCKED?

BLOCKED.

Pilar scoots past this little heart eyes / blocked accusation and asks if there’s really nothing more to Haley and Magan.

“We’re very authentic,” Magan says. “We’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

Things just got good. Is it just me or is this season WAY more bonkers than last season? And that’s really saying something…

But oh wait, it’s about to get even wilder.

Next: Ultimatum Queer Love Season Two Recap Episode 7

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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