We’ve already told you about 60 queer horror shows and movies available to stream this month, but perhaps you were overwhelmed by such a monstrous list. Perhaps you need your very own horror host to point you in the right direction. Perhaps you want the stars to tell you what queer horror to watch. I’ve got you! By combining our astrologer G’s queer horoscopes for Libra season with my encyclopedic knowledge of queer horror, I’ve put together a straightforward guide on which horror movie you should prioritize watching this month, based on your sun sign and what the astrological season has in store for you. Presenting: HORRORSCOPES.

Horoscopes can be a useful way of understanding ourselves and working toward personal growth based on our present strengths and weaknesses; horrorscopes, meanwhile, can let us avoid that personal growth by reveling in our own mess and embracing our more, ahem, evil sides . And doesn’t that sound more fun?!

Aries: The Strings

Streaming on AMC+ and Shudder

You’re encouraged to slow down a bit this Libra season but without dampening your flame altogether. Slow-burn horror may therefore be the way to go. Consider The Strings, a work of arthouse horror that Drew Burnett Gregory describes as “the slowest of slow burns.” In it, a queer musician heads to a remote cabin following a romantic breakup and a band breakup.

Taurus: Perpetrator

Streaming on AMC+ and Shudder

G writes that “belonging” is a big theme for you for the whole year, Taurus. You’re also craving the recognition you deserve. Perhaps you should check out this very underrated and deserving of recognition Jennifer Reeder film, Perpetrator, about a young queer girl in a town where girls keep going missing.

Gemini: Bad Things

Streaming AMC+ and Shudder

You’re feeling off in your routines and in serious need of some mental stimulation. How about a long weekend trip to a remote hotel with a group that includes your girlfriend and your ex? That is indeed the premise of the excellent Shining-esque horror film from Stewart Thorndike, Bad Things.

Cancer: Midnight Kiss

Streaming on Hulu

“The past month has likely highlighted something you want or need to shift about your social landscape,” G writes. As you reevaluate your friend group, perhaps you could dive into this gay slasher flick about the horrors of co-dependent gay friend groups.

Leo: Cuckoo

Streaming on Hulu

You’re supposed to be practicing healthy detachment this month, so how about moving to a resort town in the Bavarian Alps for a bit? That’s how the Hunter Schafer-starring Cuckoo begins, and for sure nothing will go wrong…

Virgo: The Other Side of the Underneath

Streaming on AMC+, Shudder, Tubi

You’re supposed to honoring the unknown, Virgo. Well, I can’t think of a queer horror film more apt for embracing the unknown than the surreal and disturbing The Other Side of the Underneath from Jane Arden.

Libra: I Saw the TV Glow

Streaming on HBO Max

You’re supposed to be saying yes to the things lighting you up right now and be generally discerning about where you give your energy. I would argue the protagonist of Jane Schoenbrun’s beloved queer/trans horror film I Saw the TV Glow is not particularly good at this and is ultimately haunted by regret. So let Owen’s story be a warning to you to indeed protect yourself and your energy.

Scorpio: Annihilation

Streaming on Paramount+ and Tubi

You’re supposed to touch grass this month. That grass probably isn’t supposed to be part of a biologically mutated natural world, but alas! Head into The Shimmer! G writes you should “lean into embracing physical, sensory experiences,” and I can’t think of a more sensory experience than what the characters of Annihilation go through…

Sagittarius: Good Manners

Streaming on Tubi

You’re supposed to be making space for variety this month, and it doesn’t get much more variable than a domestic horror monster movie that’s also somehow a musical and lesbian romance?

Capricorn: Scream VI

Streaming on Paramount+

You’re supposed to be connecting the dots this month…much like the characters of Scream VI have to connect the dots of the latest round of Ghostface kills.

Aquarius: We’re All Going to the World’s Fair

Rent on Apple TV ($4.99) or Prime ($4.99)

You’ve perhaps been experiencing some weird dreams and lots of intense feelings from your subconscious that require processing. So why not watch this surreal, isolating, and often nightmarish slow-burn horror movie? It’s very unsettling! Perhaps its quiet intensity can be a brief break from the quiet intensity of your own inner world right now.

Pisces: Jennifer’s Body

Streaming on Disney+, Hulu, and Tubi

You’re supposed to be continuing to consider your relationship to conflict and setting boundaries. Two characters who do NOT do that? Jennifer and Needy of Jennifer’s Body. They definitely could have benefited from some introspection on how they deal with conflict, but I’m so glad they didn’t! Because wow do I love how toxic their friendship is!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Would It Be Weird For Me To Make a Move?

Q

This is gonna sound like a rom-com setup but it’s my actual life: I think I might be developing feelings for my ex-boyfriend’s sister? I dated her brother ending about six years ago for a solid three years, so I know their parents fairly well. She was away at school out of state for most of that time, so I didn’t get to know her very much back then, but what little I saw, I remember thinking she was cute and feeling intrigued by her bisexuality around the same time I was starting to realize I liked girls too. Not saying she’s my “root”…. But not saying she isn’t. Her brother is married now and lives close enough to visit but far enough away that he’s not constantly around. Now, her and I work at the same place, and I have been getting to know her, and I do think there’s something there. So, the big question is: should I let myself have feelings for the sister or is it totally out of pocket to pursue something with her?

A:

Riese: Is it super super weird? Absolutely. Is it prohibited? I don’t think so? I went ahead and googled “fell in love with ex-boyfriend’s sister” and I was like, wow this is a common query, but it turned out all those results were men who’d fallen in love with their ex-girlfriend’s sister, which does seem worse? Is this because I just saw “The Better Sister”? Probably there’s something gender rigid/essentialist about feeling that it’s worse, like that somehow two sisters are variations on a theme but a brother and a sister are different entities? Or that there are 6,000 times more straight women out there than there are queer women so for straight men it seems like ok dude just pick someone else for chrissake? IDK, maybe someone else will have insight into that. It’s just truly so hard to envision like hanging out with the same family but while dating a different sibling?? But it looks like there are other people who’ve done this and lived to tell the tale and sometimes it’s not weird.

I do think the more important factors here are that it was six years ago that you dated and that he’s married — also I’m not sure anybody’s ages here, if you dated him while you were in high school, for example, maybe it’s not as weird. But honestly I think the person most at risk for discomfort here is her — but I’m not sure there’s any way to broach it with her unless genuine feelings have been seen and acknowledged by you both. I truly think she has to be a once-in-a-lifetime love to overcome the potential weirdness. If she is then maybe this will be a really funny story to tell at your wedding!

Summer: It just occurred to me that I love writing AF+ Advice answers but I’m assessed autistic and therefore have a diagnosable condition that makes interpreting social cues difficult. Absolutely great.

But IMO? You’re not out-of-pocket for wanting this. The main factors I’m looking at to reach that conclusion are emotional distance from your ex, and evidence of horrible fallout. The worst distance to do this would be to fall for his sister while you’re still dating him. Not the case here. You’ve been separated by six years of time and he’s definitely moved on. The people involved might have completely different life stages and personalities at this point. So you’ve got a good emotional distance from the ex to make this doable.

And I also don’t see signs that there is emotional fallout to contend with. You didn’t mention a horrible separation from the ex. You’re interacting amicably with your new crush. You even have a reasonable connection (work) to start afresh. I don’t see an issue continuing this. I honestly think your real challenge is going to be dating within the same workplace.

Valerie: I agree that the biggest hurdle is probably going to be if SHE thinks it’s weird. Riese said if you dating her brother while you were in high school it might not be weird, but as an older sister, if she was in college at that time, and you were her brother’s high school girlfriend, she might not see you as “her age” at all, no matter what your ages are now. I am four years older than my brother, and it’s actually very funny to me how I see him and his friends as “little” still, even though we are all in our 30s. It would be a bit of a hurdle for me to consider dating someone I knew through my brother when he was in high school and I was in college, despite the fact that a four-year age difference wouldn’t give me pause in any other situation at my big age. I know it doesn’t really make sense, and maybe it’s an older sister/younger brother thing, or maybe it’s a “my brain is weird” thing, I don’t know, but that’s just something to consider if she doesn’t seem to be returning your feelings. Also, depending on how things ended and how close your ex was with his parents…consider you might be the family villain. The girl that broke their baby boy’s heart. So that’s something else to consider, if things would be awkward if you were ever brought home to re-meet the parents. That said, I’ve heard of MUCH stranger starts to relationships working out just fine, so it could definitely be more out of pocket.

Nico: You’re not…completely out of pocket. Just…if this happens, don’t ever discuss one with the other, I think, is a good rule. You might be tempted — but just don’t. I think Valerie’s question as to whether you might inadvertently be a family villain is a good one, maybe wise to do some investigating there. And finally, as everyone else has said, the most important person to check in here with is your crush. If she’s uncomfortable, it probably just won’t work. Speaking of “work” — what kind of workplace are you in, is actually a big factor here. Is it appropriate to have a workplace romance, or will you two see some scrutiny for that? If you think that you’re likely to be under a microscope at all, then you might expect the fact that you dated her brother in the past to come out, so just be careful out there!

What If I’m Too Intimidated To Sext Her

Q

I’m dating a writer and they are a REALLY good sexter which makes me REALLY intimidated. What I need is for you, the writers of Autostraddle, to give me tips or tell me that I should not feel this intimidated! Thank you. 

A

Summer: Ahahahah oh goodness. Yeah okay, I’m a writer and online sex worker. So I have to be a great sexter or I’ll discredit both of my professions. I have input for you. You’re going to be okay.

For one, take heart. You and them are dating. And engaging s-e-x-u-a-l-l-y. They’re already into you. Whatever your sexting is, it’s already good enough to keep them interested. We can always look for areas of improvement, of course.

This one is overdone, but true. My best sexting comes from a place of genuine interest and arousal. Whether sexting at work or in a personal capacity, this remains true. When you start sexting, do what you can to make it a whole-body experience for you. If it’s appropriate, throw on some smut or porn. Draw the curtains. Settle into your comfy spot and give her your time and imagination. If you’re enjoying yourself, it’ll automatically show in the texts.

Don’t be afraid to fantasize about your next sex with her and not send it immediately. Play your fantasies out in your mind. Masturbate over them. Decorate them with sights, scents, and sounds well before you text. That way, when sexting time rolls around and your emotions are already running, you have a pre-made vision to draw on. Less stress about coming up with something good in the moment.

Everything else I leave to my fellow authors.

Kayla: I promise you shouldn’t be intimidated! Good writing and good sexting, I’ve found, are actually distinct skills. So your partner is a good writer and a good sexter, but I don’t think the latter is inherently because of the former. Which is all to say: Even if you’re not a writer, you can be very good at sexting. And I’ve sexted with writers who were just okay at sexting!!!!

For starters, you don’t even HAVE to use a lot of words in sexting —you can utilize photos and Live Photos. I love sexting, and I’m a writer, but I wouldn’t say I apply much of the craft of writing to my sexting. I’m indeed more of a visual sexter! And you don’t have to be a professional photographer to be good at taking nudes either. In general, I find with sexting that less is more —unless your partner is into excessive scene setting, just get to the point, leave some things up for imagination, and don’t overthink it.

Nico: Like Kayla said, sometimes, less is more. Leaving a bit of mystery gives your texting partner room to fill in the gaps. You don’t have to sext like you’re laying out a roadmap. You can think more about setting a scene, highlighting a moment, or throwing in a kind-of-forward curveball about something you want to do that will open the floor to more expansive conversation. And also — who doesn’t love a hot photo. One of the hottest sexts I’ve ever been sent was from a stone butch I dated extremely briefly: she sent me something very much like, “I was thinking about you the other night and my stomach dropped. I imagined touching you for the first time and seeing on your face that you knew you were about to be fucked right.” It’s somehow so hot without being explicit at all!! Art!! And no, this person was not a writer by trade.

Riese: Some articles for you:

Let’s Talk About Sexting: A Roundtable

10 Tips For Texting About Sex

8 Queer Sexting Experts On How We Digitally Do It

10 Tips For Better Lesbian Sexting

How To Write a Really Hot Sex in 5 Easy Steps

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

On a show filled with explosive personalities and dramatic relationship twists, it can be something of a compliment to come out of The Ultimatum: Queer Love with questions mostly about your hair care routine. Despite not making waves on the show, season 2’s Bridget Matloff has become a beloved Internet personality for their refreshing online presence, nuanced takes on queerness, and killer fit pics. I had the exciting opportunity to sit down with Bridget for a conversation not just on the juicy insider tidbits of what goes into filming a reality dating show, but on the deeper, more challenging duties of presenting (and questioning) queer representation, identity, and conformity. Thank you to Bridget for takes on the reality of “reality” TV, how filming the show has affected her and her relationship, and just what products do they use for that envious curly mullet?

Autostraddle: How did your thoughts about marriage change while you were on the show?

Bridget: I know it looks like I changed my mind and decided I wanted to get married. But the reality of it is that we met in the middle somewhere. For me, I had this idea of marriage that was very set and traditional, and I didn’t really understand why I would want something like that. Then I came to an understanding of like, no, it’s actually just this thing that we can define ourselves. And it sounds so simple like that, but I think for me, it was the word marriage, and having to make it government-official and whatever. I just was rubbing up against it the wrong way and reframing it as just, it gets to be what we decided is. That was really the hurdle. Then I got over it.

Did you feel like being on the show is what helped you develop that personal relationship to the word and to moving outside the confines of the word, or did that feel outside the show?

Talking to other queer people specifically about marriage. That’s not something I would typically talk about with my group of friends. I mean, I could, but most of them would feel the same way that I feel. So I think it was helpful to hear other people who come from different walks of life, and from different areas and have different reasons for why they do or don’t want to get married and different definitions for it. That was eye-opening in a way. I haven’t dealt with the same struggles that other people have dealt with. I can understand the meaning of marriage in that way and the privilege of marriage in that way, not to say that it’s for everybody, though, at the same time. But it was getting to talk to people from different backgrounds.

What aspects of your relationship do you wish viewers had seen on the show?

Yeah, I think just like any of our relationship! They don’t show a lot of the “original couples,” as they like to call them. They don’t show much of their relationships. You just see the little last night together or whatever, but you don’t really see what the dynamics are, what the relationship is like before going into dating week. So it would have been nice to establish that, and get to see that, and understand where people are coming from, and let the audience decide their opinions on the relationship and where they see challenges or areas for improvement. All of that is left up to just how we self-describe. And a lot of people aren’t as self-aware as they think they are — it’s like an unreliable narrator. You can’t judge for yourself because you haven’t seen it. And then you only see once they’ve gone through this traumatic, and for some people heartbreaking, experience. So obviously a lot of people are acting like the worst version of themselves, which I don’t think is a fair representation of them or of their relationship, just from what I know of a lot of these people.

Are you saying you wished that there had been a week before anything happened, such as cameras following y’all and seeing how your life was?

I really think they should dedicate the first episode to showing what these people are like instead of just their talking interviews. That’s not as interesting. Just seeing the couple, what their dynamic is. I would say I wish they showed us talking about gender and gender roles because that is something that’s specific to queer relationships and a queer marriage — it’s important, I think, in the discussion of marriage to also be talking about that stuff. And we did all talk about it, and we did all discuss and ask each other’s pronouns, and none of that made the cut. It very much felt edited by a straight person.

How do you conceive of your gender? How do you feel the show failed to show that full spectrum of gender experience and representation?

I’m not militant about pronouns for myself. If people just use she/her, that’s totally fine. If they just use they/them, that’s also totally fine. I’m not as pressed about that personally. I’ve had the privilege of carving out this very accepting community where I live, in both places that I’ve lived as an adult, and I don’t think about my gender all that much until I am in environment like I was in on the Ultimatum, because all of a sudden you are immersing yourself amongst people that aren’t part of the community you’re in all the time. You remember, especially with the way that we had to talk about certain things, that the world hasn’t quite caught up. And so then gender is more on your mind because you’re being forced to be in an environment you wouldn’t normally be in, or I wouldn’t normally be in. I’m really lucky that I get to live in a super liberal area in East LA. I hang out with a lot of other queer people who feel similarly about their genders. We’re not needing to proclaim anything or explain ourselves to the people that we meet and that’s really lucky.

But obviously, sometimes, you have to go see your family or you have to go to a wedding for an old friend, and you’re going to be in these other environments where it’s so different. Being on the show is another one of those environments. Even though you’re on a show with queer people, most of the production, so most of the people you’re around, were straight. And they’re the ones conducting the story. I haven’t thought about my gender in that way in a really long time.

I know there’s been a lot of discourse about whether the host should be a straight woman, and how between her and y’all there’s that lack of understanding. I mean, I have no idea what she was like, I’m sure she seems fine and lovely. 

But she has to bridge the gap between queer people and Reba fans.

Exactly. How it creates a dissonance, like she may not even know what questions to ask queer people about the situation they’re in. So, yeah, I can imagine that could be kind of uncomfortable.

It was sort of strange. There’s no more valid way to be queer. There’s just a million ways to be queer and to express yourself. As a whole, a lot of the cast — I know Marie and Ashley in particular were talking about how they didn’t always get to wear exactly what they would normally wear outside of the show, like Ashley loves to wear snapbacks, and shops mostly in the men’s section and then Marie usually wears Doc Martens, but production wanted her wearing heels. You can tell what the production’s preference is. I’m not going to say they force you to do anything, because I can’t say that. And technically they don’t. I ended up wearing what I wanted by the end, but there’s definitely a hand in. You can tell there’s a suggestion and there’s approved outfits and non-approved outfits.

And probably trying to portray very particular ideas of lesbianism or queerness that are consumable to a straight audience. Why did you choose to be on the show? As an individual, as a couple?

So Kyle was annoyed with me because her lease was up and we weren’t moving in together because I wanted to hold off. In the past, in my last relationship, I had moved in fairly quickly, and I felt like there’s more to be gained by waiting until you’re desperate to move in together. I just think, you have the rest of time to live together and you want to do it when you’re really, really ready. And so she was standing on the curb waiting for someone to come pick up something she had sold, and she got served the ad on Instagram or something to apply to the next season of The Ultimatum: Queer Love. So she filled it out, and I think it was kind of a joke. I don’t think we thought we were going to go on at any point, and I especially was like, “We should not do that show. That’s crazy.”

And then we just kept moving up in the interviews, but at no point did I really take it that seriously. And then it got to a point where I realized this is a crazy experience and a chance to see a totally different reality. And I was very curious about that, and I also just thought it would be a crazy experience to have together. The worst thing that could happen is that it speeds up us realizing that we’re not aligned enough to be together. The worst case scenario is speeding up the inevitable. I didn’t think it would cause something to make us break up that wouldn’t have ever happened in the real world. The risk was obviously there of losing your partner, but I didn’t think there was a risk of causing something that wouldn’t already happen. You still are who the two of you are. This just might bring out something that speeds things up in either direction.

We were both feeling frustrated with our situation. It’s a struggle in LA. Everyone’s hustling, and we were feeling between things. And it was a good time to take a departure from thinking about our careers and thinking about next steps and this and that and the hustle. For me personally, it was a good distraction from something really hard that I was going through personally, unrelated to our relationship. So I think I was just a little lost and thought, okay, here’s this thing I can do to completely take my mind off of this tragic, horrible thing that I am thinking about 24/7, you know? I would say my thinking at the time was “this will take my mind off this thing.”

It didn’t work. Like, I was just alone and handling it. My best friend had passed away literally three weeks before filming. I honestly was not going to do the show — I was like, okay, I need to just go to New York and spend whatever time he has left with him. And then he passed, and luckily I was there and got to spend time with him. But I didn’t think it was going to happen that quickly. So I went to the memorial and, five days later, we flew to Miami. I was fully not going to do it because I wasn’t going to miss out on those last few months with him, and then he passed and I was like, “well, what do I do now? Like, what am I doing with my life?” And all of my mutual friends with him were all in New York. So I was already alone in LA, and I think I was just kind of like, yeah, why not? Let me just do it.

I’m so sorry to hear that that happened. I can imagine that makes the experience that much stranger.

It was just a lot of emotions. Yeah.

So glad you got to have a really emotionless vacation in Miami immediately after.

Yeah, not traumatic at all!

I don’t have to include that in the interview if you’re not comfortable with that.

You can. It’s fine. When I was on the show, I didn’t talk about it because it was so fresh, but now it’s been over, it’s been a year and a half. But thank you for asking.

Is there anybody that you keep in contact with, Ashley or anybody else? Do you feel like any of those relationships have stayed and been significant since filming or since the show came out?

We were all in a group chat together when it ended. I and others were really adamant that we don’t want to contribute to the harassment or bullying of anybody, and we want to protect each other. There are gonna be a lot of people out there who want to tear us down. So the least we can do for each other, regardless of how we feel about one another, is to not contribute, not add to that, not pile on. Not saying you must defend everyone, but don’t add to it. I think that was wishful thinking. But that being said, most people are still in that group chat. It’s not super active, but from time to time, people will chime in. We’ve seen each other at some events. I still talk to Ashley, Marie, Dayna, and Magan pretty regularly. And I talked to Mel sometimes too. I would say I’m on good terms with everybody, though.

I think that’s really, really admirable to have that impulse to be like, hey, even if we don’t like each other, let’s not contribute to what is very hard to do, open your relationship and yourself up to the world’s opinions.

Literally. Watching the first season and seeing how villainized Vanessa was, I was just like, this isn’t okay. This poor girl is getting bullied online every day. She got a shit situation already on the show having to go through that heartbreak very publicly, and then on top of that, nobody’s standing up for her. She was just getting so much online hate, and I don’t think anyone deserves that. She’s not evil. She’s not a bad person. So I think watching that, none of us wanted that to happen to anybody on our season. We were all in agreement about that.

Give us the play-by-play of your decision to reach out to Ashley the night before Choice Day to lock it down. Had there been any spark between you prior? 

So Ashley had been mainly dating Mel and Dayna, and I had been mainly dating Pilar and AJ. I knew Pilar and Kyle were going to choose each other from pretty early on. And then with AJ, I got to a point where I didn’t feel like we were really getting past this surface level, pickup line conversation. We would have small moments, but every time we met back up, it felt like we had to get through all of that again. And I was just feeling like, I don’t know if I can do that for three weeks in a trial marriage, and I don’t know if she’ll be like this in a trial marriage. Probably she wouldn’t have because at that point then, you’re locked in with somebody, but I didn’t know.

And Ashley was the next person after them that I was seeing. You only really have a handful of real dates. The first two days, it’s 10-minute dates with everybody, then 20-minute dates with four or five people. And then you have the hour-long dates. So she was the only other person I had a long date with, and we spoke at both mixers as well. So it’s not like we were dating very much during the dating week, but she was next up after the two that I was dating the most. And they showed our date, actually, in like a deleted scene. I don’t know what outlet that came out on, but it was somewhere that they released it like when they released the second batch of episodes. So that was kind of how I landed on Ashley just because she was the next on my list of people I got along with and was talking to. And I think the same for her. She was mostly seeing Mel and Dayna, but they were choosing each other. So then I was next on her list. So it just worked out.

The two of you as a couple, as well as you as an individual, flew under the radar more than others. Is that how it’s felt for you?

Listen, we didn’t hook up and we didn’t fight. So I think expecting anything more out of screentime would have been unrealistic. Which I was fine with because I was already not totally comfortable going on this show. I’m sad for Ashley because I think that she would have liked to share her story, and she deserved that. We very much saw a one-sided story with her relationship with Marita. Anyone with half a brain knows that not buying flowers isn’t really about the flowers. It’s obviously something deeper.

I think we had a lot of great conversations. We got so comfortable with each other and were really trying to do the most for each other and for ourselves. So we were really comfortable calling each other out and being brutally honest with one another in a very loving and caring way. And you saw her opening up to me. Of course, that’s the scene they decide to include because it’s dramatic. You saw her talking about her domestic violence history. And I think that shows the amount of trust we built with one another. So I wish they would have showed more of that honesty and trust between us. I think that was a lot of what we talked about you didn’t really get to see. Because production just wanted to dramatize it and sum it up in a petty way.

Okay, here’s a fun question: What hair care products do you use? Or what is your hair routine?

So I get asked this a lot. I needed to cut my hair before I went on the show, and I don’t know why I didn’t. But it was very humid there. And so that’s why it doesn’t look how I prefer it to look. But my routine, when it’s wet, I put in two products: Briogeo curl cream, and adwoa Blue Tansy. Those are the two things I just put on, and then ideally let my hair air dry for as long as it can, and then I’ll diffuse a bit when it’s 80% dry. My new thing that I do is sometimes I’ll take a hair straightener and put it on the lowest heat setting and run over everything a little bit, just to loosen it. But I don’t always do that. I did that today, but like, it depends on how I’m feeling. I have a tutorial on my social media if people forget. 

Rumor has it, you were Gabby Windey’s “gay friend” on The Bachelor. Is that true? 

Yes, I was her gay friend. I think she would have figured her sexuality out on her own, but probably having a queer friend opened the door for that a little bit because she’s around gay people a lot now. After Dancing with the Stars, after she and Eric had broken up, she was like, “I think I’m like ready now to explore my sexuality.” But even from the moment I met her, she was very open to it.

We’d had discussions, and there’s a reason we were friends. We became friends before she ever did any Bachelor thing. When she had decided she wanted to date, I was taking her to queer events, and so we went to this one queer event where Kyle recognized Robby, because Robby had been on a comedian’s podcast that Kyle likes. And so she was like, wait, I recognize that person. So she went up to them and asked something like, “have you ever watched Bachelor” or whatever, like, do you know who this is? And then, yeah, they hit it off, and the rest is history.

Do you have any regrets about things on the show? Or anything you’re proud of?

I’m glad that I was true to myself and didn’t really feel that pressured by production. I think it’s hard, though. I don’t have any regrets, but I know it’s difficult for some of my castmates. Anyone in any high pressure environment is going to maybe not act how they would act outside of that. And so I don’t think it’s a fair reflection necessarily. I think we all did the best we could in a really stressful, weird situation. I try to take everything with a grain of salt, including my own experience.

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As I’m sure you know if you’ve been on literally any website today, the VMAs were this weekend. What you might not know if you didn’t catch it live is that it was a pretty gay affair. And I’m going to highlight some of the gay goings-on for you, in case you don’t feel like watching the whole dang thing.

First up, some queer people who took home a coveted Moonman:

Lady Gaga won Artist of the Year, Best Direction, and Best Art Direction (all before heading directly to Madison Square Garden to perform to a sold-out audience…just a casual Sunday). She also won Best Collaboration for her joint venture with Bruno Mars, Die with a Smile.

KATSEYE won Push Performance of the Year, Doechii’s won Best Hip-Hop, Best Choreography for “Anxiety”, Lisa ft. Doja Cat & Raye took home Best K-Pop, and Charli xcx’s Guess Featuring Billie Eilish won Video for Good because of the over-10,000 pairs of underwear donated to I Support the Girls, a charity that provides underwear and period products to women in need.

A stand-out moment of the show was when Sabrina Carpenter took to the stage to perform her new song, “Tears”, and included in her retinue of backup dancers were RuPaul Drag Race queens, including Denali, Willam, Symone, Laganja Estranja, and Lexi Love. The backup dancers all held signs that had pro-trans (and pro-LGBTQ+ in general) messaging on them, including but not limited to, “Support local drag,” “DOLLS DOLLS DOLLS”, “Good bi”, “In trans we trust”, and “Protect trans rights”. In her acceptance speech when she won Best Album, Sabrina Carpenter addressed the queens and expressed her gratitude to be part of something so positive amidst all the negativity and discrimination going on in our world.

Watch the full performance here:

Also worth mentioning: Ariana Grande thanked us in her acceptance speech! Okay maybe not you and me specifically but also not NOT you and me specifically! When she went up to accept one of her three awards won last night, she said, “Thank you to my therapists and gay people, I love you.” And while this is very cute and sweet — especially now that she’s now a “gay icon” to gay men AND a queer icon to the sapphics who love Wicked — it’s also more than that, especially in 2025 when there are literal “don’t say gay” bills being passed.

I’ll leave you with this handy dandy list that Them pulled together of what some of the LGBTQ+ celebs wore on the red carpet. And this bonus video of Rebecca Black being AT the VMAs but still having to watch Tate McRae’s performance on her phone because she went to get food and they wouldn’t let her back in until the commercial break. Stars, they’re just like us!

And The Award for Links I Thought You Might Like Goes To…

+ Ayo Edebiri gracefully responded to an absurd journalist question that implied the #MeToo and Black Lives Matter movements were over and also that they were a net negative

+ Young Sheldon star Raegan Revord comes out as non-binary and publishes a queer novel at 17 — the kids are alright

+ If you heard a high-pitched squeal earlier today it was just me finding out that one of my favorite gay video games, Life is Strange, is going to be turned into a live-action television series by queer, nonbinary creator Charlie Covell

+ The movie Christy about a queer boxer starring Sydney Sweeney and Katy O’Brien premiered at TIFF

+ The good news is, we’re apparently getting a third Camp Rock movie over 15 years after Camp Rock 2 came out…the bad news is, it seems unlikely Demi Lovato will return (but maybe Alyson Stoner will??)

+ Amita Suman (Shadow & Bone) and Lara Rossi (Horizon Zero Dawn) play girlfriends in the latest NCIS spinoff: Tony & Ziva

+ Roxane Gay will be receiving the wordily named but much deserved 2025 Literarian Award for Outstanding Service to the American Literary Community

+ Ruby Cruz is proud to be able to play so many queer characters, including her character in her upcoming movie Threesome

+ Chrishell and G-Flip are apparently planning on having a wedding every year; this year was medieval themed, the next one might be Wednesday themed

+ The video game Marvel Rivals has introduced a lesbian Asgardian princess (Thor’s half-sister, in fact) whose wife is a trans Angel

+ And last but not least, Reneé Rapp would love it if people would stop bringing her “big fucking lesbian name” into drama that has nothing to do with her

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Since 1955, Guinness World Records has named the best and brightest in categories both broad and obscure, from “Tallest Living Woman” to “Fastest time to make a pasta necklace.” Plus, who could miss those big multi-colored coffee table books released every year? As a child, my own relationship to the Guinness World Records books was that each year they were filled with the coolest, most interesting facts to know about the world, from the widest to the smallest, the oldest to the youngest, and everything in between. So this year, as American drag artists set records both new and old, it’s exciting to see a topic I’ve spent a great deal of my own life researching to be a part of the Guinness World Records in an even larger way.

Guinness World Records is no stranger to drag, and its categories go back at least two decades. In fact, it’s had many explicitly queer categories over the last few years, including “Largest LGBTQ March” (2019) and “First lesbian character in a multiplayer FPS,” (2016) among others. Queer participants have also won titles, like “Highest annual earnings for a television stylist,” (the cast of the original Queer Eye, 2004) and “Most steals in a WNBA Finals game,” (Breanna Stewart, 2024).

Incidentally, Guinness World Records was inspired to add more drag categories by the massive interest in RuPaul’s Drag Race. “Given the runaway popularity of the format, we felt that our audience would be intrigued to learn more about the history and the wider drag community, both on screen and off screen,” a spokesperson for Guinness World Records told Autostraddle. “As a result, we’re now delighted to have significantly increased the scope and variety of our drag-focused record categories, all of which can be discovered on the GWR website.”

Previous drag categories include “Youngest Drag Race Winner” (Krystal Versace on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK in 2021), “Longest line of dancing drag artists” (144 people, also in the UK, 2012), and “Most People Attending a Drag Brunch” (412 people in New York City, 2023). The new and updated records this year were assembled with the help of drag historian Joe E. Jeffreys.

In an interview with Autostraddle, Jeffreys shared his belief that in a country where drag is facing regular backlash, cementing artists’ stature in the Guinness World Records makes drag’s past and present accessible not just physically but culturally. Once the information is there, he says, it can create opportunities for connection and even new events that challenge existing records!

Let’s congratulate the newest drag Guinness World Record title holders representing the USA.

Oldest Drag Queen: Rose Levine 

Rose Levine has been performing consistently in drag since she first took to the stage on Fire Island in 1955. Beloved by Broadway legends like Ethel Merman and Jerry Herman, Rose became known on Fire Island for her cabaret performances of jazz standards. Indeed, as the story goes, Ethel Merman spotted Levine at a party in the 1970s and stated, “That’s Rose, she does me.”

Rose also has a long history of activism that runs from the Invasion of the Pines through the AIDS crisis to today. She turned 92 in 2025, which makes her the oldest still-performing drag queen in the world.

Oldest Drag King: El Daña 

El Daña attends the “King of Drag” S1 Premiere. (Photo by Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Revry)

El Daña began his drag career in central California in 1965 at a gay bar in Fresno where he performed “La Bamba” by Ritchie Valens. Not long after, El Daña also became known for his renditions of Frank Sinatra, Julio Iglesias, and Tom Jones hits. It was his Jones impersonation in particular that drew the most attention — even from drag legend Charles Pierce, who is said to have told El Daña, “No one can do Tom Jones like you,” according to Drag King History.

El Daña became the world’s oldest still-performing drag king when, at the age of 80 in 2025, he performed onstage in Clovis, California.

Most Emmy Awards Won by a Drag Performer: RuPaul

Rupaul performs during the Gay Rights March April 25, 1993 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Porter Gifford/Liaison)

To any RuPaul’s Drag Race fan over the last 16 years, it will come as no surprise that the show’s namesake and host is currently the most Emmy-winning drag artist of all time. As of 2025, RuPaul has won 14 Emmys. Eight of these awards are for Outstanding Host for a Reality or Competition Program for RuPaul’s Drag Race; five are for Outstanding Reality Competition Program for RuPaul’s Drag Race, where he serves as Executive Producer; and one is for Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program for RuPaul’s Drag Race: Untucked! where he is also Executive Producer.

Highest-Grossing Drag-Themed Movie: Mrs. Doubtfire

Featuring the inimitable Robin Williams in the title role, Mrs. Doubtfire was an instant classic when it was released in 1993. Its successes have only continued over the last 30+ years: as of March 2025, it has grossed $441,286,003, making it the most successful drag-themed film of all time.

One of  my personal favorite scenes stars actor, playwright and drag legend Harvey Fierstein in a montage where he and Williams arrive at Mrs. Doubtfire’s final “look.” Fierstein was cast in the role after Williams saw him stage a failed “lesbian fashion show” for a benefit Lily Tomlin held in the early ‘90s.

It turns out the First Female Impersonation Actor on Screen, another Guinness World Record Title created this year, was also American: in 1901, vaudeville actor Gilbert Sarony played his famed “Old Maid” characters in two shorts directed by none other than Thomas Edison, The Old Maid Having Her Picture Taken and The Old Maid in the Horsecar. Sarony’s Guinness World Record Title counterpart, the First Male Impersonation Actress on Film, was French legendary actress Sarah Bernhardt, as Hamlet in 1900.

Highest Grossing Drag-Themed Movie Franchise: Madea Cinematic Universe

Comprised of 13 movies, the films in Tyler Perry’s Madea franchise released in theatres have made Perry himself more than a $291M profit since the first film was released in 2005 (two were released on Netflix). Madea is “strong, witty, loving…just like my mother used to be before she died,” Perry once said. “She would beat the hell out of you but make sure the ambulance got there in time to make sure they could set your arm back.” Madea initially appeared in a play Perry had written called I Can Do Bad All By Myself, first staged in Chicago in 1999. It later became a film of the same name in 2009, starring Taraji P. Henson. The Madea character, inspired by Perry’s mother and grandmother and their senses of humor, wasn’t initially a role meant for Perry in the play — the actress meant for her didn’t show up and Perry had to get into drag.

Needless to say, it worked out.

Longest-Running Drag Queen Competition: Miss Fire Island Pageant 

The Miss Fire Island Pageant began in Fire Island’s Cherry Grove in 1966. It will turn 59 this year, making it the world’s longest-running drag queen competition. In the Digital Transgender Archive, you can see what drag looked like at the pageant in 1969, (note that the way drag and gender were discussed at the time were quite different, so proceed accordingly — some of the language and images are fetishizing; “transvestite” and “drag” are used interchangeably; performers are often referred to universally as “he”). The prize at the time was $300, and it’s since gone up to $5000. This year’s event, held on August 30, featured the legendary New York drag queen Ariel Sinclair and Drag Race runner-up Sapphira Cristál as hosts.

Longest-Running Drag King Competition: The San Francisco Drag King Contest 

With its 29th edition in August 2025, The San Francisco Drag King Contest became the world’s longest-running drag king competition. The event was originally created by lauded drag king Fudgie Frottage in 1994 with the hopes of advocating for drag kings in a world that had become increasingly focused on drag queens. Since it began, several iconic drag artists have crossed its stage, whether as MCs (Elvis Herselvis, Sister Roma, Fudgie himself), judges (Mo B. Dick, Wang Newton), or contestants (Papi Churro, King Lotus Boy). At the event, hopefuls are judged on their “talent, creativity, studliness, sex appeal, originality, humor, make-up/facial hair, and fashion,” Drag King History shares. It’s become an essential event not just furthering the art of drag kinging in San Francisco, but ensuring future generations of drag kings in the area.

Longest-running drag-themed restaurant franchise: Hamburger Mary’s 

Hamburger Mary’s on Church Street in downtown Orlando, Florida. (Orlando Sentinel file/Tribune News Service via Getty Images)

When a Hamburger Mary’s opened in my hometown of Fort Lauderdale, my family and I sped over immediately. I was still underage then, so seeing drag in a place I was actually allowed to was a magnificent thrill. Though Fort Lauderdale’s iterations have since closed, there remain eight more across the country. In fact, Mary’s is now the world’s longest-running drag-themed restaurant franchise and will celebrate its 53rd anniversary this coming December. The first Mary’s (since closed) opened in San Francisco in 1972, and “came out of a pot-filled session involving the hippies and gay men that started the restaurant,” according to SFGate. “A fellow called Trixie (real name Jerry Jones)…wanted to open an eatery that offered up sass and style with a burger and fries.”

In the future when there are even more categories — maybe even “longest drag performance by a single artist” or “longest running drag musical on Broadway” — it’s possible, as Joe E. Jeffreys says, that a culture can continue to develop around trying to beat those records and thereby perpetuate drag’s reach. What would it have looked like to see categories for drag when we were growing up? A generation of people won’t have to wonder.

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Dear Dreamers,

Howdy. How’s it going? As for me, I’m happy to report that the fugue, dread, and other various spiritual delights that have been plaguing me for weeks now are slowly lifting. I folded a bunch of towels. I tried to concentrate on various French autofictional novels. I worried my mother. I worried the cats, who think if I sleep past seven o’clock in the morning that I have surely died in the night. I also, perhaps against my better judgment, redownloaded the apps.

It’s not that I felt I had to, not really. It was more that I was bored, and sad, and wanted to feel like I was good at something. My non-hindbrain said: I don’t think that your way out of this obvious clinical depression is to get into someone else’s bed to which I smiled benignly and went on my merry way… for a few days, at least.

When I matched with B., it felt like the answer to my predicament. We had a great conversation, funny and quick, and I felt good, too, about the clarity of our arrangement. Casual, easy, built on pleasure. I wanted to leave the state by the following year, they had just gotten out of a six-year relationship. We can still be nice to each other, I always say, but nobody has to get married, and they agreed, though they did, eventually want marriage. That’s great, I replied. I probably never want to settle down.

I shouldn’t have said probably, I know, but it seemed less harsh, and I had already made it very clear that serious was not in the cards for me, so when I went over the following evening and made B. come a few times, smiled and said hey, thanks, this was fun, I thought I had fulfilled my end of the bargain. Delivering orgasms as a way to, what? Think of something other than how a genuinely lucky person could be so miserable? Delay writing another sad essay? I didn’t know, but I felt marginally more like a person who left their house. Fast forward to a mere day later — what are you even looking for? they say. What are you feeling?

I lay on my bedroom floor on the yoga mat and text Stef. I’ve got to stop [REDACTED] on a first date, I say, and they laugh and laugh.

Sending you your own way out of a funk,
Cowboy

A Queer Question for the Tarot

I am in love with someone (reciprocal) who is not my 9-year partner with whom I share a child (adult), and in another country: do I need to let it go or give it a chance, bulldozing my life in the process?
– Lost Little

Dear Lost Little,

Thank you for the gift of your question, and your vulnerability in asking it. It is a difficult thing to answer, to be sure, but I hope this reading will offer you at least a little clarity.

First, of course, we must address the practical before the spiritual — to begin, your child is an adult, which means that while things might fracture there if you do make a life-altering decision, you are not in a place where their needs (i.e., you being physically present) are as pressing, giving you some freedom. This is good, but it also adds more levels to your quandary. Secondly, we must address the person you are in love with. You mentioned in your note to me that you are not speaking, and that you have no plans on going back to where they live, but that you can’t get them out of your head. But they, too, have a say in this. This love is reciprocal. Before you make plans, or take action on my reading, you must speak to them, and see where they are. This is my biggest recommendation, so long as it doesn’t violate any rules that you have with your current partner.

Now, this is what the cards have for you. For this reading I did my general cleansing ritual, and then divided my deck (my harshest deck, for reference) into two piles. One pile representing the life you are currently living, and the second pile representing a life you may have with your lover.

The card I drew from you from the first pile is the FOUR OF CUPS, REVERSED, symbolizing a path away from your ennui, sadness, stagnation. You are sad and scared most of the time. You feel that there is a way out, but it is impossible for you to reach it. But you must remember that this card tells us there is an END to this stagnation, and the great possibility of a fresh start. Is it the fresh start you imagine? Perhaps. As a clarifying card I drew THE HIGH PRIESTESS who emphatically told me to tell you to trust your intuition on this one. Your gut.

The card I drew from you from the second pile is the THREE OF CUPS which speaks to me of enjoyment, of a relationship of happiness… but also can be interpreted as the cheating card. Thankfully, the deck cleared this up for me in the form of the TWO OF CUPS (auspicious) which represents the deep well of love between people, the flow of it back and forth. Equal and balanced, this love is obviously reciprocal.

Well then, Little Lost. I can’t tell you what to do, but I do hope you find happiness in your choices. Keep me updated.

See you on the Other Side,
CC

Another Queer Question for the Tarot

Should I get back together with my ex? Lol!
– Zuzuspetals

Dear Zuzuspetals,

Thank you for the gift of your question. It is important for us to note here that this is not an out of the blue question, but rather one courted by your ex — they say they are still in love with you, but also they have a new girlfriend… a mere two weeks after your break-up.

That doesn’t mean I’m saying no to your question, simply that we must keep this in mind as we let the cards do their work. After cleansing my deck, lighting my candles, and shuffling, I divided the cards into two piles for two questions.

PILE ONE: What if we do get back together?

The first card I drew from Pile One was the THREE OF PENTACLES, REVERSED, which signifies that, as a unit, you and your ex may have a hard time reviewing old lessons. The past often repeats itself, but only with new clarity can we redirect the harms that once were inflicted upon us, and that we inflicted. This card warns not to fall back into old habits just because they are comfortable. The clarifying card I pulled for you is the EIGHT OF SWORDS which tells me if you do get back together, there may be quite a bit of mental anguish. Trust issues really abound here, and you need to interrogate the sadness, pain, guilt, and anxiety that plagued you during the relationship, and its aftermath.

PILE TWO: What if we don’t get back together?

The first card I drew from Pile One was the FIVE OF CUPS, REVERSED which tells you that you have recently experienced a personal setback (the break-up) but that there are still treasures to be had. Not your ex, to be clear, but instead, when we remove them from the equation, what remains. You, your dignity, your vibrance. To clarify, I pulled the QUEEN OF CUPS who assures us that while emotional depth may remain in one place (in your relationship), it is not the only place that it can be found. It also points towards a type of healing, though it feels to me (spiritually speaking) like an inner healing instead of an outer one.

I hope this helped. There are no “wrong” choices here, but there are ones that could cause you further pain. Be careful with your heart.

See you on the Other Side,
CC

The Lovers Tarot Card IS Gay

When discussions about “queering” the Tarot, or “queering” mysticism come up, I always feel slightly bamboozled. Yes, I know intimately the systems when we exist in, but there is nothing more liberatory to my sexuality, or my gender, than those modes of the Beyond. Everything exists in the gray, there is nothing that cannot be bent, and the clarity I have after giving a ready or sticking my hand in the ether certainly doesn’t feel straight, or heteronormative, etc etc.

So, in my forever quest to make everything a gay thing, I offer you a few thoughts to mull over next time you pull The Lovers.

The Lovers is a card that says what it is on the tin. It evokes sex, yes, but it is ultimately a card full of choices. It asks us: IS this actually the life you want to be living? Are you closing yourself off emotionally? Have you looked at yourself lately, I mean really looked at yourself? The Lovers insist we interrogate, but they do so warmly, for our own good.

The Lovers also have a special meaning in the ~community~. It bodes well for your orgy or polyamorous entanglement, it tells you to seek pleasure wherever you find it and check out a bodice ripper from the library. Though its representation comes in the form of a “man” and “woman” it also reminds us that, at the end of the day, we make our own love, and we do so in the face of a thousand less dangerous things. Still, we seek it.

Cowboy’s Corner

Reading: Various French autofictional texts, like this one. My dear friend Eliana’s truly fantastic debut novel about Cherokee history, ambition, and, of course, love. Ansel Adams: Letters, 1916 – 1984 (for a project). This very cool newsletter about living near friends.

Listening: This song the Youtube algorithm rec’d to me because I’m an ambient music freak and they don’t know what to do with me. “Sienna” by The Marias. “Forever” by Ok Cowgirl. “Ur Heart Stops” by fantasy of a broken heart.

Consuming: Jaws: The 50th Anniversary in theaters (my treat to myself). The same three or four episodes from the early seasons of Sex and the City. These sugar-free Liquid I.V.s. One of these popsicles literally every evening. [REDACTED].

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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