“Being free isn’t actually that easy.” ~Unknown

I’ve always been an achiever. I’ve worked hard to reach goals: I was good at school, then got a good job, and ended up making good money. My colleagues valued my clear view of the goal, my ability to break down the big task into parts that one can work on, casting it all as individual problems that one can solve. I was diligent, hard-working, and reliable. An employer’s dream employee.

At the same time, I’ve always had a wish to be “free.” Not so much from outer constraints, but from inner ones—depressive episodes, difficult feelings, painful experiences. It sounds terribly naive when you put it like that, but I guess it was a wish to live “happily ever after” at some point in the future.

And I was willing to work hard to achieve that, too.

In hindsight, it all seems clear how that was bound to fail. But working hard was the one thing I knew how to do, so I applied it to everything, including the wish for happiness, the wish for inner freedom.

I tried a range of different things and ended up connecting with Buddhism. I think what appealed to me was the clear outline of a path to achieving happiness, the methods, and the way the goal was described: enlightenment, awakening, the ultimate inner freedom. So I learned about the methods and began applying myself to them.

With my scattered mind, I sat down trying to watch my breath. With aching knees, I sat for hours repeating mantras, counting how many repetitions I “got in,” making progress toward the numeric goal of 100,000 repetitions of various things. That took years.

I think my wife noticed long before me that there was something unhealthy in my approach. She pointed out how I came down the stairs with a “forced smile” after a long meditation session. She tried to encourage me to “live.” It was no good; I wouldn’t listen.

The harder I tried to work at it, the more frustrated I became. Since I didn’t see the progress I craved— like peace of mind, like mental calm—I thought the solution was clear: I had to try harder. Devote more time to it, reduce other activities more. Retracting from the world, rather than living in it, my wife called it.

The big irony was that, in order to feel more alive, I cut myself off from life more and more. I tried to achieve inner freedom by applying the same habitual patterns that governed my life: striving hard, unrelentingly.

I once saw a postcard with the drawing of a parrot walking out of its birdcage, while wearing a small birdcage like a helmet around its head. The words on the card said, “Being free isn’t actually that easy.” I think it summarizes very well how I was trapped trying to be free.

When my tenacious striving ended up threatening my marriage, I sought help from a therapist, and that’s when things started to change.

I became aware of the pattern I was caught in. The narrow-mindedness of feeling that I had to achieve something big. The unspoken wish that one day, someone would tap me on the shoulder and say, “Well done.” The rejection of life in the name of an abstract goal—ironically, in my case, the goal of wanting to be truly alive.

I can’t say change happened overnight, although there was this one therapy session where I had a sense that I could feel that inner truth of just being, of awareness. That felt real and true—and much more than any external rules and descriptions of a path, it has been my compass, my guiding light ever since.

What amazes me most is that for so many years, I just didn’t see the obvious: that I was applying my habitual patterns of ambition and goal-oriented striving to meditation, to the search for inner freedom. How on earth did I not see that?

Frankly, I think it’s like with the fish and the water. The joke of the old fish meeting two young fish and asking them, “How’s the water today?” and the young fish responding, “What do you mean, water?” It’s so around you, so much an integral part of your lived experience, that you don’t even notice.

After that recognition, I think the process has been gradual, and I would say it’s ongoing. The key thing is that I recognize striving as striving now. I’m in touch with the emotional tone that comes with it and have gradually learned to take it as a warning sign. Whenever I feel the narrowness of wanting to achieve, I now pause to check if I’m just digging myself into a hole again.

As a result, there is now a sense of acceptance, of acknowledging that some things cannot be achieved by willpower. That feeling alive isn’t really something you can work at. In fact, today I’d say it’s the opposite: the way to feel alive is to relax into the reality of the moment, again and again. It’s admitting to myself what’s really there, in every situation, pleasant and unpleasant. It’s breathing with the pain, cherishing the pleasant moments. Valuing the people in my life.

In short, I’ve given up on the “big goals.” I still meditate every day, but I do it differently now: I always try to work with what’s really there in that particular moment—sitting quietly with the breath on some days, working with emotions on others, maybe formulating wishes for well-being on the third day… There are so many options, and the key to making it a living practice, for me, has been to allow myself to start with what’s really there, every day anew.

If any of this rings a bell, if you feel stuck trying to live a meaningful life, here are the lessons I’m drawing from my experience.

1. Choose a direction, not a destination.

To me, owning my life is a cornerstone. Grabbing the steering wheel, deciding on my own priorities rather than simply living according to a script that’s provided from the outside. So I totally stand by that original aim of wanting to live with inner freedom.

In fact, if you don’t already have a clear sense of what you want your life to be, I strongly recommend taking some time to explore that question for yourself. There are great methods for this—reflective prompts or journal exercises that help you envision your ideal future.

I’ve realized that what matters most is the direction I’m giving to my life—not so much a specific outcome, let alone a timeline for achieving it. Attainable goals have their place with respect to the outside world, such as working toward an education or a place to live, but with respect to inner processes, I’m now convinced that you cannot force things. At the same time, my orientation in the present situation matters deeply and makes all the difference.

2. Be patient and gentle with yourself.

This is the hard part for an achiever like me. My habitual disposition is wanting to measure progress. So after I realized the dead end I had maneuvered myself into with that goal-oriented approach to meditation, it’s been an ongoing challenge. The creature of habit in me continues to want to “be good at it,” to achieve.

The process has been, and continues to be, getting to know that driven feeling and learning to actively soften it whenever I notice it. One helpful practice has been tuning into the tone of my inner voice—the one reminding me to let go of goals and relax. How friendly or harsh does it sound? And if it’s rather impatient, can I soften that too?

Suddenly, rather than chasing some goal, I’m exploring what’s really there in myself, discovering and cultivating a friendly stance every day anew.

3. Connect with your inner compass.

I’m a rational person, and I often insist on spelling out the reasons for a decision. As far as things go in the world out there, I think that’s useful, even though I tend to overdo it sometimes.

At the same time, I believe that I have an “inner compass,” which I discovered during my therapy sessions and that I find difficult to put into words. It’s a sense of whether something feels right that I can somehow feel in my body.

I value this sense as extremely precious, even though I cannot describe it well. This inner compass is the most important guiding principle for me regarding “inner” topics, which cannot always be explained through logic or reason. It’s about whether something feels healthy, whether it seems to move you in the right direction.

Tuning into this compass, even when I can’t explain it, helps me stay true to myself, no matter what situation I’m in.

—

To me, the result of applying these principles has been great. I guess I won’t be enlightened any time soon, but the good thing is, I’m much happier with that now than I’ve ever been in my life.

Defining Mindfulness & Historical Roots

At its core, mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the moment, free from distractions or judgment.

• Originated over 2,500 years ago (Buddhist teachings).
• Traditionally linked to meditation practices.
• Modern adaptations focus on psychological well-being.

Modern Interpretation & Practices

Mindfulness is now a practical tool for improving everyday life and mental health.

• Breathing exercises & daily integration.
• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).
• Accessible to everyone, regardless of background.

Impact on Life and Well-Being

Mindfulness offers profound benefits, enhancing overall well-being.

• Improved Mental Health (reduced anxiety/depression).
• Enhanced Emotional Regulation.
• Increased Focus and Clarity.
• Stronger Relationships.

Future Directions in Mindfulness

The field of mindfulness continues to evolve with new research and applications.

• AI Integration for personalized practices.
• Nature-Based Practices.
• Enhanced Emotional Intelligence.
• Community Mindfulness programs.

Care for yourself! Nowful founder Angélica Fuentes shared her personal wellness rituals with ET while celebrating the launch of her brand and Hispanic Heritage Month.

The 62-year-old businesswoman swears by simple, consistent habits to stay grounded — and rejects the idea that self-care has to be extravagant.

“We are told that in order to be well, we need to go to expensive spas, book exotic retreats, or meditate for 20 hours in a Buddhist temple in Nepal. That is not true,” she explains.

Instead, Fuentes relies on daily practices that reconnect her with her body, mind, and soul.

Her mornings begin by sipping a cup of hot water with lemon, followed by two capsules of Nowful MindThrive Mushroom Complex, before pulling out a Nowful Smart Affirmation Card for prompts that shape her mindset for the day ahead.

“They’re packed with hidden magic — technology that instantly connects with your phone and helps supercharge your confidence, strength, and self-love,” she shares.

From there, Fuentes lets it all out.

“I journal in the app, and sometimes just vent. … I also use this time to stay conscious of my breathing, something I’ve learned through short daily meditations.”

Next, it’s time to work her body — which in turn, further works her mind.

“Exercise is a non-negotiable in my life. It grounds me emotionally and gives me the energy to show up fully.”

After her gym session, the entrepreneur is all about hydration and appreciation.

“I’ll drink my matcha or my green juice with collagen peptides and protein and practice gratitude. … On the way to school with my daughters, we each name at least three things we’re grateful for,” she notes.

To maintain the good vibes, the philanthropist reaches for the NOWFUL essential oil to refocus, and winds down with a massage using the brand’s magnesium balm before bed.

Her go-to essentials now come together in the Nowful Wellness in Action Kit, which includes four core products.

“The kit is an invitation to return to yourself,” Fuentes says. “It is more than a set of products — it’s a system, with each element designed to work together so you can carry wellness with you from morning to night.”

RELATED CONTENT:

 

“I have to start the day having a calm mindset,” she says, which is why she prioritizes meditation in the mornings along with her brew. Green tea helps ground her for the day ahead, no matter what she has on her plate; considering the combination of polyphenols and caffeine in green tea have been shown to improve mental clarity, alertness, and function6, Harry might be onto something here. 

A good morning, and thus a good day, aren’t experiences that magically happen — they are created consciously.

Most of us are distracted from the get-go every morning. Trivial activities like checking social media, watching TV, and worrying about things we can’t control often set the tone of the day. And that means we waste our most well-rested time on things that don’t matter, while gradually losing touch with the significant, controllable parts of our lives that actually do matter.

We simply forget that the morning hours are enormously important — they form the foundation from which the day is built. We forget that how we choose to spend these hours can be used to predict the kind of days we’re going to have, and ultimately the kind of lives we’re going to live. So if you feel like you’ve been getting a rough start lately, and stumbling through your days with diminished intention and focus, it’s time to consider some small shifts in your mornings…

Your morning habits gradually make a big difference.

Before we get to the habits, I’d be shocked if you haven’t been told to do these things in the past. I know my husband (Marc) and I have both preached about them numerous times here on the blog. The problem is most of us slack off on the things we need to do for ourselves even though we know better. And Marc and I used to be just as unintentional with our morning hours as anyone else. We used to awake in a hurry and then move through our mornings at the mercy of whatever came up, stumbling into work and errands and client meetings in a fog. It was awful, but it was our morning routine. We didn’t know any different, so we didn’t think we could change things. Thankfully we were wrong.

Marc and I gradually implemented the three morning habits covered below and everything changed. Our mornings are now solid foundations from which we consistently yield positive results, and we’ve been going strong now for nearly two decades. In addition, we’ve helped hundreds of course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees implement these habits in their lives too, and many of them have come back to us later to say, “Thank you!” My hope is that YOU find value in them as well.

And please note how I mentioned “gradually” above. If you aren’t doing any of these things right now, start with just the first one, then add the second in a couple weeks, and then the third sometime in July or August…

1. Wash your dishes.

You are eating the most important meal of the day, right? Good.

Now you can leverage your breakfast to strengthen your self-discipline. And self-discipline is a vital skill to be honed. It is the ability to overcome distractions and get the important things done. It involves acting according to what you know is right, instead of how you feel in the moment (perhaps tired or lazy or distracted by something else), which typically requires sacrificing immediate ease for what matters most in life.

A lack of self-discipline for most of us is often the result of a lack of focus. In other words, we tell ourselves we are going to do something, but then we don’t. One of the easiest and most effective ways to build and maintain daily self-discipline?

Start small every morning. Very small…

Simply wash your dishes after breakfast.

Yes, I mean literally washing your dishes with your own two hands. It’s just one small step forward every morning: When you eat your oatmeal, wash your bowl and spoon. When you finish drinking your morning coffee, rinse the coffee pot and your mug. Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later. Wash them immediately.

Form this habit one dish at a time, one morning at a time. Once you do this consistently for a few weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too. Then the counter. Then make your bed. Pack yourself a healthy lunch. Start doing a few sit-ups. Meditate for a few minutes. And so forth (more on the latter two — exercise and meditation — below).

Do one of these at a time each morning, and you’ll start to build a healthy habit of self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of doing what must be done, and finishing what you start.

But again, for the next few weeks, just wash your dishes after breakfast. Mindfully, with a smile.

2. Use exercise to train your body and mind (for 15 minutes or less).

Exercise is the simplest and fastest way to change your life, not only because it strengthens your body, but because it also strengthens your mind. It’s a self-initiated activity that imposes a necessary level of mental and physical effort to fuel growth. And it almost instantaneously instills a positive sense of self-control into your subconscious, even when other circumstances in your life seem chaotic.

In a vast world that is often well beyond your control, exercise becomes a personal space where you are able to train and regain mastery over your world. Only you can move your body. Only you can put one foot in front of the other. Only you get to decide how far you will push yourself.

When you start your day like this — grounded and in control — the wider world is far easier to navigate.

Furthermore, a consistent daily exercise habit literally changes the physical inner-workings of your brain. In the bestselling book, “Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain”, Dr. John Ratey discusses data he collected through years of researching the neurological changes exercise causes in the brain. Exercise physically elevates a specific protein in the brain that Dr. Ratey calls “Miracle-Gro for the brain.” He states, “Exercise is the single most powerful tool you have to optimize your brain function. Aerobic activity has a dramatic effect on adaptation, regulating systems that might be out of balance and optimizing those that are not — it’s an indispensable tool for anyone who wants to reach his or her full potential.”

Marc and I have come to very similar, although less scientific, conclusions on our own too. With over 16 years of experience working one-on-one (or two-on-one) with our course students and coaching clients, we have found that exercise truly is a universal medicine to nearly all human mental ailments. It drastically reduces mild and moderate depression, lowers anxiety, counterbalances the negative effects of being overstressed, and more. And the best part is that exercise is obviously not just a mental workout, but a physical one as well — you’re hitting two birds with one stone.

So if exercise is that wonderful, why am I recommending only 15 minutes of it each morning? Because in the beginning that’s enough without being too much. Starting small is important. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but again, so many of us forget to follow good advice. Start with a morning habit of exercise that lasts 15 minutes or less. If you feel incredible resistance and fail at 15 minutes, drop it to 10 minutes, or 7 minutes, and then stick to it for at least a full month before increasing the duration again.

3. Establish presence through meditation (for 15 minutes or less).

The same principle of starting small that we just discussed above applies here as well. With that said however, a morning meditation habit of only 15 minutes is no easy feat for most beginners. During the first several attempts at meditation, most novice meditators tend to find it near impossible to quiet their mind. Because of this, many of us try meditation once or twice and do not see the value in it — it does not immediately instill the same sense of control over that exercise does. But with practice and patience meditation can be far more powerful. And that’s why Marc and I meditate every morning for 15 minutes.

Meditation is indeed a vital morning habit in our lives, and in the lives of hundreds of students and clients we’ve worked with over the years. While it may not as easily instill the level of control that exercise does, meditation provides a deeper level of control which ultimately brings out of us what has been stuck inside — it connects us with our truest selves by allowing us to access all the areas of our mind and body that we are usually distracted and disconnected from.

Details aside, the most basic and practical benefits of meditation are twofold:

• lowers mental stress
• increases mental presence (awareness)

And when we bring a more relaxed presence into our morning hours — into the foundation of our day — it makes everything that happens from there much easier to deal with. Because we take the next step more mindfully — without pent-up resistance — fully aware and accepting of the tenseness in our shoulders, the little bubble of hope in our heart, or maybe even the haze of sadness in the back of our mind. And with this awareness and acceptance we find better solutions, healthier ways to cope, and a general sense that people are friendlier and cats purr louder.

On the contrary, when we are stressed out and distracted in the morning hours, our mind is split and frayed. One part is firmly focused on whatever is pressing in upon us, while the other part is giving minimal attention to whatever tasks need to be done quickly in the meantime.

Let me give you an example (from my own past life) to make things clear. Imagine that you are late for work and you’re rushing around your house in preparation to leave. If a loved one starts telling you something important about what they are going to do today, how much of your attention is going to be focused on what they are telling you? Not much.

But when we become more present — when we gradually establish more awareness and acceptance of the present moment through meditation — we stop being as distracted and preoccupied. In the space that opens for a moment, we can breathe deeply and listen deeply. For a moment, stress slips off our shoulders. And with practice we can learn to have more and more moments like this in our life.

A course student of ours recently wrote (shared with permission):

“Every moment is a new opportunity. The next one is as fresh and full of promise as the thousand before that you missed, and it is completely empty of any judgment whatsoever. Nothing is carried over that you take with you. You don’t have to pass a good-person exam before you enter, it is totally unconditional. It’s as if it is saying… ‘Okay, so you missed me the last 10,000 moments, but look! Here I am again… and again… and again!’ And you are welcomed with open arms.”

Here’s how to establish presence through morning meditation (note that there are many meditation techniques, this is the one Marc and I are presently practicing):

Sit upright in a chair with your feet on the ground and your hands resting comfortably on your lap, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing for 15 minutes (or less in the beginning if 15 minutes feels like too much). The goal is to spend the entire time focused only on the feeling of your abdomen inhaling and exhaling, which will prevent your worried mind from wandering and overthinking. This sounds simple, but again, it’s challenging to do for more than a couple minutes, especially when you’re just starting out with this habit. And it’s perfectly fine if random thoughts sidetrack you — this is sure to happen, you just need to bring your focus back to your breathing.

Consistency is everything…

Remember that the three morning habits above mean nothing if they are not acted upon consistently. One morning of cleaning your dishes, exercising, and meditation by itself won’t cut it. It is the compound effect of simple, seemingly mundane actions over time that leads to life-altering, positive results.

For example, there’s nothing exciting about putting one foot in front of the other every day for weeks, but by doing so, many normal human beings have climbed over 29,000 feet to the top of the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest…

And there is nothing exciting about cleaning dishes, exercising, or sitting quietly in meditation for a short time every morning, but by doing so, Marc and I (and hundreds of students and clients we’ve worked with) have drastically better lives.

Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be trained to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. Which is exactly what the three morning habits in this post allow you to do. If you don’t proactively push yourself in little ways every morning, of course you’ll crumble later on when things don’t go your way…

But you have a choice!

Choose to clean your dishes when it would be easier to leave them in the sink.

Choose to exercise when it would be easier to sleep in.

Choose to meditate when it would be easier to distract yourself with something else.

Prove to yourself, in little ways every morning, that you have the power to take control of your days and your life!

(Note: Marc and I also build small, actionable, life-changing daily habits with our readers in the New York Times bestseller, “Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs”.)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes it’s your turn to focus on the small morning habits that can help you grow in the days and weeks ahead.

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

The Minimalists speak with Kapil Gupta about letting go of nonsense, the many ways humans waste their lives, what happens when you minimize ambition, and much more.

Listen to the Episode

Apple · Spotify · YouTube · Patreon

Discussed in This Episode

Minimal Maxims

Joshua, Ryan, and T.K.’s pithy, shareable, less-than-140-character responses. Find more quotes from The Minimalists at MinimalMaxims.com.

• There’s nowhere in the world that the world is not.
• If the poor man is happy, he certainly isn’t happy because he is poor.
• Consumerism is the ideology that acquiring more will make you a better person.

Links Mentioned in This Episode

Follow Our Team

A good morning, and thus a good day, aren’t just experiences that magically happen — they are created consciously.

Most of us are distracted from the get-go every morning. Trivial activities like checking social media, watching TV, and worrying about things we can’t control often set the tone of the day. And that means we waste our most well-rested time on things that don’t matter, while gradually losing touch with the significant, controllable parts of our lives that actually do matter.

We simply forget that the morning hours are enormously important — they form the foundation from which the day is built. We forget that how we choose to spend these hours can be used to predict the kind of days we’re going to have, and ultimately the kind of lives we’re going to live. So if you feel like you’ve been getting a rough start lately, and stumbling through your days with diminished intention and focus, it’s time to consider some small shifts in your mornings…

Your morning rituals gradually make a big difference.

Before we get to the rituals, I’d be shocked if you haven’t been told to do these things in the past. I know my husband (Marc) and I have both preached about them numerous times here on the blog. The problem is most of us slack off on the things we need to do for ourselves even though we know better. And Marc and I used to be just as unintentional with our morning hours as anyone else. We used to awake in a hurry and then move through our mornings at the mercy of whatever came up, stumbling into work and errands and client meetings in a fog. It was awful, but it was our morning routine. We didn’t know any different, so we didn’t think we could change things. Thankfully we were wrong.

Marc and I gradually implemented the three morning rituals covered below and everything changed. Our mornings are now solid foundations from which we consistently yield positive results, and we’ve been going strong now for nearly two decades. In addition, we’ve helped hundreds of course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees implement these rituals in their lives too, and many of them have come back to us later to say, “Thank you!” My hope is that YOU find value in them as well.

And please note how I mentioned “gradually” above. If you aren’t doing any of these things right now, start with just the first one, then add the second in a couple weeks, and then the third sometime in July or August…

1. Wash your dishes.

You are eating the most important meal of the day, right? Good.

Now you can leverage your breakfast to strengthen your self-discipline. And self-discipline is a vital skill to be honed. It is the ability to overcome distractions and get the important things done. It involves acting according to what you know is right, instead of how you feel in the moment (perhaps tired or lazy or distracted by something else), which typically requires sacrificing immediate ease for what matters most in life.

A lack of self-discipline for most of us is often the result of a lack of focus. In other words, we tell ourselves we are going to do something, but then we don’t. One of the easiest and most effective ways to build and maintain daily self-discipline?

Start small every morning. Very small…

Simply wash your dishes after breakfast.

Yes, I mean literally washing your dishes with your own two hands. It’s just one small step forward every morning: When you eat your oatmeal, wash your bowl and spoon. When you finish drinking your morning coffee, rinse the coffee pot and your mug. Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later. Wash them immediately.

Form this ritual one dish at a time, one morning at a time. Once you do this consistently for a few weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too. Then the counter. Then make your bed. Pack yourself a healthy lunch. Start doing a few sit-ups. Meditate for a few minutes. And so forth (more on the latter two — exercise and meditation — below).

Do one of these at a time each morning, and you’ll start to build a healthy ritual of self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of doing what must be done, and finishing what you start.

But again, for the next few weeks, just wash your dishes after breakfast. Mindfully, with a smile.

2. Use exercise to train your body and mind (for 15 minutes or less).

Exercise is the simplest and fastest way to change your life, not only because it strengthens your body, but because it also strengthens your mind. It’s a self-initiated activity that imposes a necessary level of mental and physical effort to fuel growth. And it almost instantaneously instills a positive sense of self-control into your subconscious, even when other circumstances in your life seem chaotic.

In a vast world that is often well beyond your control, exercise becomes a personal space where you are able to train and regain mastery over your world. Only you can move your body. Only you can put one foot in front of the other. Only you get to decide how far you will push yourself.

When you start your day like this — grounded and in control — the wider world is far easier to navigate.

Furthermore, a consistent daily exercise ritual literally changes the physical inner-workings of your brain. In the bestselling book, “Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain”, Dr. John Ratey discusses data he collected through years of researching the neurological changes exercise causes in the brain. Exercise physically elevates a specific protein in the brain that Dr. Ratey calls “Miracle-Gro for the brain.” He states, “Exercise is the single most powerful tool you have to optimize your brain function. Aerobic activity has a dramatic effect on adaptation, regulating systems that might be out of balance and optimizing those that are not — it’s an indispensable tool for anyone who wants to reach his or her full potential.”

Marc and I have come to very similar, although less scientific, conclusions on our own too. With over 16 years of experience working one-on-one (or two-on-one) with our course students and coaching clients, we have found that exercise truly is a universal medicine to nearly all human mental ailments. It drastically reduces mild and moderate depression, lowers anxiety, counterbalances the negative effects of being overstressed, and more. And the best part is that exercise is obviously not just a mental workout, but a physical one as well — you’re hitting two birds with one stone.

So if exercise is that wonderful, why am I recommending only 15 minutes of it each morning? Because in the beginning that’s enough without being too much. Starting small is important. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but again, so many of us forget to follow good advice. Start with a morning ritual of exercise that lasts 15 minutes or less. If you feel incredible resistance and fail at 15 minutes, drop it to 10 minutes, or 7 minutes, and then stick to it for at least a full month before increasing the duration again.

3. Establish presence through meditation (for 15 minutes or less).

The same principle of starting small that we just discussed above applies here as well. With that said however, a morning meditation ritual of only 15 minutes is no easy feat for most beginners. During the first several attempts at meditation, most novice meditators tend to find it near impossible to quiet their mind. Because of this, many of us try meditation once or twice and do not see the value in it — it does not immediately instill the same sense of control over that exercise does. But with practice and patience meditation can be far more powerful. And that’s why Marc and I meditate every morning for 15 minutes.

Meditation is indeed a vital morning ritual in our lives, and in the lives of hundreds of students and clients we’ve worked with over the years. While it may not as easily instill the level of control that exercise does, meditation provides a deeper level of control which ultimately brings out of us what has been stuck inside — it connects us with our truest selves by allowing us to access all the areas of our mind and body that we are usually distracted and disconnected from.

Details aside, the most basic and practical benefits of meditation are twofold:

• lowers mental stress
• increases mental presence (awareness)

And when we bring a more relaxed presence into our morning hours — into the foundation of our day — it makes everything that happens from there much easier to deal with. Because we take the next step more mindfully — without pent-up resistance — fully aware and accepting of the tenseness in our shoulders, the little bubble of hope in our heart, or maybe even the haze of sadness in the back of our mind. And with this awareness and acceptance we find better solutions, healthier ways to cope, and a general sense that people are friendlier and cats purr louder.

On the contrary, when we are stressed out and distracted in the morning hours, our mind is split and frayed. One part is firmly focused on whatever is pressing in upon us, while the other part is giving minimal attention to whatever tasks need to be done quickly in the meantime.

Let me give you an example (from my own past life) to make things clear. Imagine that you are late for work and you’re rushing around your house in preparation to leave. If a loved one starts telling you something important about what they are going to do today, how much of your attention is going to be focused on what they are telling you? Not much.

But when we become more present — when we gradually establish more awareness and acceptance of the present moment through meditation — we stop being as distracted and preoccupied. In the space that opens for a moment, we can breathe deeply and listen deeply. For a moment, stress slips off our shoulders. And with practice we can learn to have more and more moments like this in our life.

A course student of ours recently wrote (shared with permission):

“Every moment is a new opportunity. The next one is as fresh and full of promise as the thousand before that you missed, and it is completely empty of any judgment whatsoever. Nothing is carried over that you take with you. You don’t have to pass a good-person exam before you enter, it is totally unconditional. It’s as if it is saying… ‘Okay, so you missed me the last 10,000 moments, but look! Here I am again… and again… and again!’ And you are welcomed with open arms.”

Here’s how to establish presence through morning meditation (note that there are many meditation techniques, this is the one Marc and I are presently practicing):

Sit upright in a chair with your feet on the ground and your hands resting comfortably on your lap, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing for 15 minutes (or less in the beginning if 15 minutes feels like too much). The goal is to spend the entire time focused only on the feeling of your abdomen inhaling and exhaling, which will prevent your worried mind from wandering and overthinking. This sounds simple, but again, it’s challenging to do for more than a couple minutes, especially when you’re just starting out with this ritual. And it’s perfectly fine if random thoughts sidetrack you — this is sure to happen, you just need to bring your focus back to your breathing.

Consistency is everything…

Remember that the three morning rituals above mean nothing if they are not acted upon consistently. One morning of cleaning your dishes, exercising, and meditation by itself won’t cut it. It is the compound effect of simple, seemingly mundane actions over time that leads to life-altering, positive results.

For example, there’s nothing exciting about putting one foot in front of the other every day for weeks, but by doing so, many normal human beings have climbed over 29,000 feet to the top of the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest…

And there is nothing exciting about cleaning dishes, exercising, or sitting quietly in meditation for a short time every morning, but by doing so, Marc and I (and hundreds of students and clients we’ve worked with) have drastically better lives.

Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be trained to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. Which is exactly what the three morning rituals in this post allow you to do. If you don’t proactively push yourself in little ways every morning, of course you’ll crumble later on when things don’t go your way…

But you have a choice!

Choose to clean your dishes when it would be easier to leave them in the sink.

Choose to exercise when it would be easier to sleep in.

Choose to meditate when it would be easier to distract yourself with something else.

Prove to yourself, in little ways every morning, that you have the power to take control of your days and your life!

(Note: Marc and I also build small, actionable, life-changing daily rituals with our readers in the New York Times bestseller, “Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs”.)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes it’s your turn to focus on the small morning rituals that can help you grow in the days and weeks ahead.

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.