Living means having needs. And having needs means there’s always a gap between “how things are” and “how we want them to be.” Closing those gaps? That’s literally problem-solving. You’re hungry, so you need food. You’re tired but have work tomorrow, so you need to balance rest and responsibility. Your phone battery is dying, your inbox is full, your friend needs help moving, and you haven’t figured out dinner yet.

Every single one of these is a problem, which means your brain is constantly in problem-solving mode. This isn’t a bug—it’s a feature of being alive. But here’s the good news: while you can’t eliminate all problems, you absolutely can learn to chill more reliably. I will explain why life feels this way and give you practical strategies to reduce needless stress without becoming irresponsible or checking out.

Why life feels like constant problem-solving

Understanding why your brain operates this way helps you work with it instead of against it. Here are five fundamental reasons life feels like an endless to-do list.

Evolution built us this way. Our ancestors who were really good at solving problems—finding food, building shelter, avoiding predators—survived long enough to pass on their genes. The ones who kicked back and ignored threats? They didn’t make it. Research on negativity bias confirms this: negative events have larger and longer-lasting effects than positive events of equal magnitude . Your brain responds to threatening stimuli in under 200 milliseconds, but takes longer to process positive information . In relationships, studies show you need a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions just to maintain stability . This ancient wiring means your brain is primed to notice gaps, threats, and problems before anything else. It’s not pessimism—it’s survival optimization that’s now running in a world where most “threats” aren’t actually life-threatening.

Your brain is a prediction machine. Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett, among the top 0.1% most cited scientists worldwide, describes the brain’s primary job as reducing uncertainty in an ever-changing world . Your brain constantly generates predictions about what’s going to happen next—what you’ll see, feel, hear—and when reality doesn’t match those predictions, it creates what researchers call “prediction errors.” These mismatches feel like problems that need solving. Dropped coffee on your shirt? Prediction error. Meeting ran long and now you’re late? Prediction error. Every surprise, every deviation from expectation, registers as something your brain flags for attention and resolution. Karl Friston’s Free Energy Principle mathematically describes how the brain works as “an organ of statistics,” constantly trying to minimize these errors . This predictive processing happens automatically, which means your brain is essentially scanning for problems 24/7, whether you consciously want it to or not.

Scarcity creates friction everywhere. Time, money, and energy are all limited resources. A 2024 study found that 40% of American adults couldn’t cover an unexpected $1,000 expense, creating a constant background hum of financial anxiety. When you don’t have enough time to do everything, you face trade-offs. When you don’t have enough money, every purchase becomes a calculation. When your energy is low, even simple tasks feel like mountains. These constraints create an endless stream of resource-allocation problems: Can I afford this? Do I have time for that? Can I handle one more thing today? The friction of finite resources means life becomes a series of optimization problems, and that’s exhausting.

Problem-solving gives life meaning. Here’s the paradox: while constant problem-solving feels draining, removing all problems would actually feel worse. Research on flow states by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi reveals that our most satisfying moments come when we’re completely absorbed in challenging activities that match our skill level. Flow states are three times more likely to occur during work than recreation . Without problems to solve, we get bored, restless, and lose our sense of purpose. Learning provides dopamine hits. Overcoming challenges builds competence. Creating solutions feels meaningful. Your brain actually seeks out problems because solving them is how you grow. The issue isn’t problem-solving itself—it’s the ratio of meaningful challenges to mundane annoyances, and the lack of control over which problems land on your plate.

Social systems create obligations. Jobs come with deadlines, meetings, and performance expectations. Relationships require communication, compromise, and maintenance. Institutions need paperwork, schedules, and compliance. Your landlord expects rent. Your family expects presence. Your friends expect responses. Modern life embeds you in overlapping systems that generate continuous obligations. Each obligation is, functionally, a problem: “How do I meet this expectation?” These aren’t bad things—connection and structure provide value—but they do create a steady stream of tasks that need managing. You’re not just solving problems for yourself; you’re solving them for everyone counting on you.

Can humans actually chill?

Yes. Emphatically, yes. But “chill” isn’t a personality trait or lucky circumstance—it’s a skill you can build. You can’t permanently eliminate all problems (you’re alive, so gaps will exist), but you can absolutely do two things: reduce the number of unnecessary problems you create or tolerate, and change your relationship to the inevitable ones.

Think of it like fitness. You can’t eliminate the need for your body to move, but you can get better at moving efficiently and with less pain. Same with problem-solving. The goal isn’t to stop solving problems altogether. The goal is to solve fewer pointless ones, solve necessary ones more smoothly, and develop the capacity to remain calm while doing so.

High-impact moves: Do these first

These five strategies give you the most relief for the least effort. Start here before getting fancy with optimization.

Define what “chill” actually means to you. Most people pursue a vague feeling rather than a clear target. Get specific. Does “chill” mean having fewer obligations on your calendar? A calmer mind with less anxiety? More unstructured free time? Less financial stress? Clarity on your goal determines which strategies matter most. Write down your version of “chill” in concrete terms: “I want to say yes to only one social event per weekend” or “I want to stop worrying about money between paychecks” or “I want my evenings free from work email.” Specific targets make progress measurable.

Automate and remove decisions. American adults make an estimated 35,000 decisions daily, and research on decision fatigue shows that quality deteriorates as the day progresses. In a famous study of judge parole decisions, approval rates dropped from approximately 65% in the morning to nearly zero by late afternoon—similar cases received dramatically different outcomes based on time of day . Every decision uses mental resources, which means automating routine choices frees up bandwidth for things that matter. Set up automatic bill payments. Subscribe to groceries you buy every week. Plan your meals once for the whole week. Create a work uniform or capsule wardrobe so you’re not choosing outfits daily. Establish a morning routine you don’t think about. These small automations can reduce your decision load by 40-60%, preserving energy for genuinely important choices.

Build a small financial buffer, even $1,000. Money problems create some of the most persistent stress because they touch everything. Groundbreaking 2025 research from Vanguard studying over 12,400 participants found that having just $2,000 in emergency savings correlated with a 21% increase in financial well-being and 47% lower stress levels compared to those without savings. People without emergency funds spent 7.3 hours per week worrying about finances, versus 3.7 hours for those with $2,000 or more. Even a modest buffer transforms how you experience unexpected expenses—from existential threat to manageable inconvenience. Start with $500, then $1,000, then work toward $2,000. The psychological relief is disproportionate to the amount.

Set firm boundaries and practice saying no. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that clear boundaries correlate with 62% higher life satisfaction and 47% lower stress levels. Yet 74% of adults reported feeling overwhelmed at some point in the past year. Most people chronically overcommit because saying no feels uncomfortable. But every yes to something unimportant is a no to your own capacity to chill. Practice polite refusals: “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I can’t take that on right now.” “That doesn’t work for my schedule.” “I’m not available.” No explanation required. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re guidelines for how you allocate your finite resources. The initial discomfort fades quickly, but the relief compounds.

Delegate and outsource low-value tasks. When your time is worth more than the cost of a service, outsourcing isn’t indulgent—it’s strategic. If you make $30/hour at work and hate cleaning, paying $25/hour for a cleaner isn’t frivolous when it buys back time and mental energy. Same with grocery delivery, meal kits, laundry services, or hiring someone to handle tasks you find draining. Calculate what your time is worth, then evaluate whether certain tasks are worth doing yourself. Sometimes “I can’t afford it” is code for “I haven’t calculated whether I can afford not to.” Even delegation within your household or workplace counts—you don’t have to be the one solving every problem just because you can.

Create friction-free habits with single-choice systems. Decision fatigue research points to a solution: make one decision that eliminates hundreds of future decisions. Eat the same breakfast every morning. Wear a limited wardrobe of clothes you’ve already decided work well together. Choose a default meal plan where you eat the same few dinners in rotation. Shop from a standing grocery list that doesn’t require rethinking. These systems sound boring but feel liberating—you’re not choosing the same thing repeatedly, you’re not choosing at all. The mental space freed up is remarkable, and you can always break the pattern when inspiration strikes. The routine is the default; variety becomes intentional rather than mandatory.

Turn problem-solving into restful activity

Some problems are restorative rather than depleting when approached correctly.

Seek flow: creative work, sports, crafts. Remember that research finding that flow states occur three times more often during work than recreation? The trick is finding activities with the right challenge-skill balance. When a task is too easy, you’re bored. Too hard, and you’re anxious. Right in the middle—where it’s challenging but achievable—you enter flow, losing track of time and self-consciousness. This is where problem-solving becomes genuinely restorative. Cooking a complex recipe. Playing an instrument. Building something with your hands. Rock climbing. Writing. Gaming at the right difficulty level. These activities are technically “solving problems,” but they’re voluntary, intrinsically rewarding, and leave you energized rather than depleted. The key is autonomy—you choose the challenge—and clear feedback loops that create a sense of progress.

Make rest intentional, not just leftover time. Most people treat rest as whatever’s left after obligations, which means it’s often interrupted, guilt-tinged, or low-quality. Flip the script: schedule downtime with the same seriousness as you schedule meetings. Block out Sunday mornings for absolutely nothing. Reserve Friday evenings for no-task-list activities. Protect these windows fiercely. When rest is intentional, you’re not “wasting time”—you’re actively restoring capacity. Give yourself full permission to do genuinely nothing or engage in purely pleasurable activities (reading fiction, long baths, napping, watching something fun) without attaching productivity value to it. Rest isn’t earned; it’s a fundamental need like food and sleep.

Quick micro-habits to try today

Want to start immediately? These require almost no setup and create instant, measurable effects.

2 minutes: 4-4-4 breathing. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds. Repeat for 2 minutes. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, physically shifting you from stress mode to calm mode . Do it when you wake up, before a stressful task, or when anxiety spikes.

10 minutes: walk without your phone. Leave your phone behind (or keep it in your pocket on silent) and walk around your neighborhood or office building. Notice five specific things—textures, colors, sounds, smells. This combines physical stress relief with mindfulness, breaking rumination patterns.

Evening: decide tomorrow’s outfit and breakfast tonight. Eliminate two morning decisions before they happen. Put your clothes out. Decide what you’ll eat. Your morning brain will thank you, and you’ll start the day with less decision fatigue.

Digital: turn off nonessential notifications for 24 hours. Not all notifications—just the ones that don’t require immediate response. Social media, news, promotional emails. Give yourself one day where your attention isn’t constantly interrupted. Notice the difference in your mental state. Consider making it permanent for some apps.

A realistic promise

You can’t remove problems from your life forever. Living means having needs, which means solving problems. That’s not changing.

Here’s what you absolutely can do: remove many avoidable problems by decluttering obligations, automating decisions, and setting boundaries. Reduce your stress response to inevitable problems through reframing, mindfulness, and physical reset practices. Build systems—financial buffers, routines, outsourcing—that make necessary problems easier to solve. Cultivate flow states where problem-solving becomes restorative rather than depleting. Protect intentional rest so you’re operating from capacity rather than constantly depleted.

The difference between feeling like you’re drowning in problems and feeling like you’re capable of handling what comes at you isn’t usually about the number of problems—it’s about your relationship to them, your systems for addressing them, and the ratio of meaningful challenges to pointless friction.

Small changes compound. Automating five decisions frees up bandwidth. Saving $1,000 transforms financial anxiety. Saying no to two obligations creates breathing room. Walking for 20 minutes shifts your physiology. Each intervention is modest, but together they create a life where problem-solving happens on your terms more often than it feels imposed on you.

That’s what “chill” actually means: not the absence of problems, but the presence of capacity, agency, and calm in how you approach them.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
— Bruce Lee

The biggest and most draining disappointments in our daily lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others. So don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being utterly disappointed and drained by them.

Which means it’s time to…

1. Stop expecting everyone to agree with you.

You deserve to find joy and inner peace in your own way. You deserve to live a life you are in flow with. Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less constant approval you need from everyone else.

You have to dare to be yourself and follow your own intuition, however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be. And don’t compare yourself to others — don’t get discouraged by their progress or success. Follow your own path and stay true to your own purpose. Success is ultimately about spending your life in your own way.

2. Stop expecting people to show you more respect than the amount of respect you show to yourself.

True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it consistently. Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself on a daily basis.

Look at yourself in the mirror today and say, “I respect you, and from now on I’m going to act like it.” Yes, it’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself. When you practice self-respect you give yourself the opportunity to grow. When you are growing, you become a better friend, a better family member, and a better YOU. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Self-Love chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

3. Stop expecting everyone to like you.

You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another. So never forget your worth! No matter how good you are to people, there will always be one negative person who criticizes you. Smile, ignore their rudeness, and carry on. Spend time with those who value you instead.

Truth be told, in this over-connected world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, the toughest battle you’ll have to fight on the average day is the battle to be yourself. And as you’re fighting back not everyone will like you. Sometimes people will call you names because you’re “different,” but that’s perfectly OK. The things that make you different are the things that make YOU, and the right people will love you for it in the long run.

4. Stop expecting people to perfectly align with your idea of who they are.

Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves. When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate them for who they truly are. So pay close attention, and respect people for their uniqueness and not for who you want them to be.

We simply don’t know most people half as well as we believe we do, and truly knowing someone is a big part of what makes them wonderful. Every human being is remarkable and beautiful in some way; it just takes a patient set of eyes to see it. The more you get to know someone, the more you will be able to look beyond their appearance and see the beauty of who they truly are. (Read “The Mastery of Love”.)

5. Stop expecting everyone to know what you’re thinking.

People can’t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet. That cute guy you haven’t talked to because you’re shy?  Yeah, you guessed it, he hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given him the time of day either.

In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively. And oftentimes you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking if you want a meaningful engagement.

6. Stop expecting the seemingly strong people you know to be perfectly “OK.”

Everyone you know is fighting some kind of battle, just like you. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own. So be a part of someone’s growth without having that “I’m in a hurry” attitude. What goes around comes around. You can always be kinder than necessary.

Also remember that embracing your light doesn’t mean ignoring your dark. We are often measured by our ability to overcome adversities and insecurities, not avoid them. Thus, leveraging honesty and transparency as it relates to your struggles, to support, share, and make contributions to other people is one of life’s greatest rewards. This happens naturally if we allow it, because we all share very similar doubts, needs, and struggles. And once we accept this, the world then becomes a place where we can look someone else in the eyes and say, “I’m lost and struggling at the moment,” and they can nod back and say, “I know exactly what you mean. You aren’t alone.”

7. Stop expecting the people you care about to suddenly change.

If there’s a specific behavior someone you care about has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table (gracefully) so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.

For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try. Either you accept who they are or you choose to give yourself more time away from them. It might sound harsh, but it’s not. When you try to change people, they often remain the same, but when you don’t try to change them — when you support them and allow them the freedom to be as they are — they gradually change in the most beautiful way. Because what really changes is the way you see them.

Honor your boundaries as you ease your expectations.

As you’re diligently working on keeping your expectations in check, it’s also important to maintain healthy and reasonable boundaries. Because inevitably you’re going to run into someone who discredits you, disrespects you, or treats you poorly for no apparent reason at all. The key is to not consume yourself with trying to change them or win their approval (no expectations), and to not leave any space in your heart to hate them. Simply give yourself some healthy space…

Remember that distancing yourself from people who give you negative vibes or unhealthy energy is self-care. Stepping back from situations where you feel unappreciated or disrespected is self-care. Choose to honor your boundaries, respectfully.

Also, practice becoming more aware of your needs, especially as it relates to your expectations. Note the times and circumstances when you’re resentful of fulfilling someone else’s needs. Gradually build healthy boundaries by saying no to gratuitous requests that cause resentfulness in you. Of course, this may be hard at first because it may feel a bit selfish. But if you’ve ever flown on a plane, you know that flight attendants instruct passengers to put on their own oxygen masks before tending to others, even their own children. Why? Because you can’t help others if you’re incapacitated.

In the long run, proactively establishing and enforcing healthy and reasonable boundaries will be one of the most charitable things you can do for yourself and those you care about. These boundaries will foster and preserve the best of you — the most grounded and capable version of you — so you can share the best of yourself with the people who matter most to you.

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to hope for the best, but expect less. You will certainly bring more joy and inner peace into your life by doing so. Before you go though, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

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“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

My grandmother passed away a few years ago after a long battle with cancer. Even as her health deteriorated, she never lost her spirit. She’d still get excited about whether the Pittsburgh Steelers might finally have a decent season after Ben Roethlisberger’s retirement. She’d debate the Pirates’ chances with the kind of passionate optimism that only comes from decades of loyal disappointment.

But what I remember most are the afternoons she’d spend napping in her favorite chair with my son curled up against her. He’d drift off clutching some random object, like a wooden spoon or random toy from my parent’s basement. She’d just smile and close her eyes too. Even when she was tired, even when the treatments were wearing her down, she found joy in those stolen moments.

In her final years, she lived with my parents, but she brought her faith with her.

Her rosary beads found new homes on nightstands and windowsills. Her worn Bible sat open on the end table, bookmarked with a picture of her husband. The little curio cabinet filled with angels followed her too, a portable shrine to stubborn hope. Wherever she was, the air around her carried that same indefinable quality that I later realized was simply peace.

My grandmother had the kind of faith that could part emotional storms with a single glance. She didn’t need to preach it. She lived it. You could feel her belief before you even stepped through the front door. She believed in prayer, in miracles, in second chances. In the Steelers. And in Diet Pepsi.

After she was gone, I expected to feel completely untethered. Instead, I discovered something surprising. Things seemed to hold together. The sadness was real and deep, but underneath it was something solid. A foundation I’d never realized she’d built in me.

My mother always said I “lived with my head in the clouds,” and it wasn’t until after Grandma passed that I understood where that came from. While I was raised in the Catholic church and spent years as an altar boy, my faith had always been fuzzier than hers. Less certain. More questions than answers.

But it was there, hidden under the surface, because of her. I’d been benefiting from her quiet influence in ways I never fully understood or appreciated until she was gone. Her faith hadn’t just surrounded me. It had somehow taken root in me, even when I wasn’t paying attention.

Learning to Recognize What Was Already There

The months after her death weren’t filled with the existential crisis I expected. Instead, I found myself noticing things. How I naturally looked for the good in difficult situations. How I held onto hope even when logic suggested otherwise. How I moved through the world with a kind of quiet optimism that I’d never really examined before.

I was still a professional overthinker, still a card-carrying worrier. But underneath all that mental noise was something steadier. Something that whispered, “This too shall pass,” even when I wasn’t consciously thinking it.

It took time to understand that this wasn’t something I needed to build from scratch. Grandma hadn’t just modeled faith for me; she’d been quietly cultivating it in me all along. Through her example, through her presence, through those countless afternoons when she’d choose hope over fear, even when the odds were stacked against her health and her beloved sports teams.

Discovering My Own Messy Version

What I came to realize was that my faith was never going to look like Grandma’s. Hers was rooted in tradition, in ritual, in the comfort of centuries-old prayers. Mine was more scattered, cobbled together from different sources and experiences.

My faith, I discovered, is held together with hope, a healthy dose of skepticism, and about six different kinds of sticky notes. It’s not the neat, organized kind. It’s more like a spiritual junk drawer full of useful things, but you’re never quite sure where anything is.

I believe in second chances and fresh starts. I believe in the power of afternoon sun to reset your entire day. I believe that kindness is contagious and that sometimes the universe sends you exactly what you need, even if it arrives late, confused, and covered in cat hair.

Some days, my faith is a whisper: “Maybe things will get better. Maybe I’m not alone. Maybe I can try again tomorrow.” Other days, it’s louder: “This is hard, but I can handle hard things. I’ve done it before.”

My faith doesn’t look like Grandma’s, but it carries her DNA. It’s messier, less certain, but it has the same stubborn core, a refusal to give up hope, even when hope seems foolish.

The Science of Belief

Here’s what I wish I’d known during those dark months: You don’t have to be religious to benefit from faith. Science shows that belief in something greater than yourself can be a powerful tool for mental and emotional well-being.

Faith literally reduces stress. Studies show that people who report a strong sense of meaning or spiritual belief have lower levels of cortisol, the hormone associated with stress. Translation? Faith helps your brain pump the brakes on panic.

It improves emotional regulation by activating the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which helps you pause before spiraling. It builds psychological resilience by reminding you that you’re not at the center of every catastrophe. Whether you believe in God, the universe, karma, or cosmic duct tape, faith acts as a buffer against hopelessness.

Acts of spiritual reflection can trigger the same brain regions involved in feelings of safety and joy. And faith often leads to rituals or conversations with others, building the connections that are crucial for well-being.

Here’s the kicker: You don’t have to get it right. Wobbly faith counts. Uncertain, whispered-in-a-closet faith is still valid. Half-hearted “Okay, Universe, I trust you… kinda” mutterings are welcome here.

The Power of Micro-Faith

Big transformations feel great in theory but hard in practice. That’s why I’ve learned to embrace what I call “micro-faith,” these small, digestible moments of intentional belief. Like appetizers for your spirit.

Today, try believing in something small:

• The possibility of a good cup of coffee
• The strength hiding inside your own weird little heart
• The fact that what you need might already be on its way
• The idea that this difficult season won’t last forever
• The chance that tomorrow might feel a little lighter

Faith doesn’t have to be grand or glowing. Sometimes it’s just showing up anyway, even when you’re not sure why.

What Grandma Taught Me

Years later, I realize Grandma didn’t just give me faith; she showed me how to live it. She taught me that faith isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about trusting that you’ll find your way, even in the dark.

She taught me that belief can be quiet and still be powerful. That faith isn’t a destination but a traveling companion. That sometimes the most profound act of faith is simply getting up and trying again.

Most importantly, she taught me that faith isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up. Showing up to your life, to your relationships, to your own healing, even when you feel completely unprepared.

I carry pieces of her faith with me now, mixed in with my own messy, imperfect beliefs. Some days I feel like I’m floating through life with my head in the clouds. But thanks to Grandma, and a whole lot of trial and error, I’ve learned to float up here without getting totally fried by the sun.

If your faith feels fractured, fuzzy, or faint, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just human. Faith isn’t a finish line. It’s a floating device. It won’t always steer you straight, but it might keep you above water long enough to find the shore.

So go ahead and believe in something today. Even if it’s just the idea that the clouds will eventually clear… and the coffee won’t taste burnt this time.

About Jason Hall

Jason Hall is a writer, mental wellness advocate, and professional overthinker who believes in the power of imperfect faith, a well-timed joke, and the occasional snack-fueled epiphany. He writes about finding light in the messy middle of life and the small, stubborn joys that help us float through. You can find him at chilltheduckout.com, where he shares stories about stress, hope, growth, and how to chill the duck out one microjoy at a time.

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You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your daily habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are some fairly common and widespread examples of the latter that will drain all your joy if you let them:

1. Focusing on how life “should” be every step of the way.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on how you play the hands you’ve been dealt.

2. Wanting to control the uncontrollable.

Be selective with your energy today. If you can fix a problem, fix it. If you can’t, then accept it and change your thoughts about it. Whatever you do, don’t attempt to invest more energy than you have, tripping over something behind you or something that only exists inside your head. Truth be told, some of the most powerful moments in life happen when you find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything.

3. Holding tightly to the way things once were.

You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a week ago. You’re always learning and growing, and life is always evolving. Again, even though you can’t control everything that happens, you can control your attitude about what happens. And in doing so, you will gradually master change rather than allowing it to master you. So be humble today. Be teachable. The world is often bigger than your view of the world. There’s always room for a fresh idea or a next step. But first you must accept the fact that things may never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really a new beginning.

4. Refusing to practice self-forgiveness.

Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you’ve made in the past, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that accidentally hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them. (Note: Angel and I discuss this further in the Adversity chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

5. Endlessly settling for the default settings.

There are thousands of people who live their entire lives on the default settings, never acknowledging the fact that they can customize everything. Don’t be one of them — don’t settle for the default settings on a daily basis. Don’t hide behind indecision or laziness either. And forget popularity! Just do your thing with passion, humility, and honesty. Do what you do, not for an applause, but because it’s what’s right. Pursue it a little bit each day, no matter what anyone else thinks. That’s how dreams are achieved.

6. Resisting new ideas and lessons.

To make real progress in the long run you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers. So don’t stop learning! Don’t stop investing in yourself. Research. Read. Devour books. Engage with people, including those who think differently. Ask questions. Listen closely. And don’t just grow in knowledge. Be a person who gives back. Use what you’re learning to make a real and lasting difference. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal” is a useful tool for noticing and keeping track of all your lessons learned.)

7. Constantly seeking fleeting contentment.

There are two variations of contentment in life — fleeting and enduring. The fleeting type is derived from instants of material comfort, while the enduring type is attained through the gradual growth and progress on matters that are truly important to you. At a quick glimpse it might be difficult to decipher one from the other, but as time rolls on it becomes vividly obvious that the latter is far superior. So just remember, if it entertains you now but will hurt or bore you someday, it’s a distraction. Don’t settle. Don’t exchange what you want most for what you kinda want at the moment. Study your routines. Figure out where your time goes, and remove distractions. It’s time to focus more on what matters in the long run.

8. Always worrying about everyone else’s story.

Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone for them, that you forget to write your own. Unfold your own tale and bring it to life on a daily basis. You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming. Incredible change happens when you decide to make yourself a priority. And remember, you won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you have to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become a daily part of your own support system. This means consuming less and creating more. It means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you. It means learning to embrace and use your ideas and instincts to write your passage, one day at a time.

9. Fearing little (necessary) failures.

Sometimes we literally have to fail dozens of times to succeed. And no matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss the opening for a hundred more opportunities. All of your ideas that don’t work are simply stepping stones to the one idea that does. And remember, failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Always get back up! Oftentimes good things fall apart in the near term so better things can fall together in the end.

10. Waiting for the “perfect” moment to take the next step.

Don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment. Moments aren’t perfect, they’re what you make of them. So many people wait around for the stars to align to do what they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc. Wake up! Don’t “wait” away the vast majority of your life! Remind yourself that too many people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. And you don’t be one of them. Ultimately, you will come to succeed not by finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections as stepping stones.

An Exercise for Building Better Daily Habits

If you feel a like you’ve wasted too much time, joy, and peace on one or more of the points above, this quick actionable closing exercise is for YOU.

Choose any area in your life that you want to improve, and then:

1. Write down the specific details about your current circumstances. (What’s bothering you? Where are you stuck? What do you want to change?)
2. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that have contributed to your current circumstances? (Be honest with yourself. What are you doing regularly that actually contributes to the situation you’re in?)
3. Write down a few specific details about the “better circumstances” you’d like to create for yourself. (What would make you happy? What does an improved situation look like for you?)
4. Write down your answer to this question: What are the daily habits that will get you from where you are to where you want to be? (Think about it. What small daily steps will help you gradually move forward from point A to point B?)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to not fall back into your old patterns of living today simply because they’re more comfortable and easier to access. It’s your turn to remember that you’re leaving certain habits and situations behind for a reason: to improve your life — because you can’t move forward if you keep going back. And it’s undoubtedly your turn to reclaim your inner peace and joy, and make your time count going forward!

But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Photo by: Georges Petrequin

Mental health is not just a personal concern but a collective responsibility. Despite growing conversations around it, mental health remains misunderstood, under-resourced, and stigmatized. Raising awareness is more than sharing statistics or hashtags—it’s about fostering understanding, compassion, and actionable change that improves lives.

This article delves into the profound importance of mental health awareness, explores ways to engage meaningfully, and highlights the critical roles organizations and communities play in supporting mental well-being.

Why Mental Health Awareness Matters

The numbers speak volumes: 1 in 5 adults in the United States—approximately 52.9 million people—experience mental illness in a given year. These statistics, while eye-opening, only hint at the broader impact. Behind every number is a story of struggle, resilience, and the pressing need for a more supportive society.

Stigma remains one of the biggest barriers to seeking help. Misconceptions paint mental health struggles as weaknesses rather than health conditions. This stigma discourages openness, isolates individuals, and delays treatment. Awareness helps dismantle these misconceptions, normalizing conversations about mental health and encouraging people to seek help early.

Moreover, understanding mental health is crucial for early intervention. Recognizing signs of distress in ourselves or others can make a life-changing difference. Awareness also builds empathy, helping families, friends, and workplaces become safer spaces for those who are struggling.

Mental health awareness is not just a conversation—it’s an invitation to act. And every action, no matter how small, contributes to creating a society where mental well-being is prioritized.

How to Support Mental Health Awareness

Awareness doesn’t end with knowing the facts. It’s about turning knowledge into action. Here are ways to engage meaningfully:

1. Educate Yourself: Understanding conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and bipolar disorder helps you empathize and support others effectively. Reliable resources from organizations like NAMI and SAMHSA can provide insights and practical guidance.

2. Start Conversations: Talking about mental health openly can normalize seeking help. Share your experiences or ask someone how they’re doing—and really listen.

3. Practice Compassion: Sometimes, offering a listening ear or a kind word can make all the difference. Empathy reduces isolation and builds trust.

4. Support Resources: Share information about helplines, local mental health services, and online support groups. The National Helpline (1-800-662-HELP) and similar resources provide critical connections for those in need.

5. Advocate for Change: Push for better policies, funding, and workplace practices that prioritize mental health. Advocacy ensures long-term, systemic improvements.

6. Model Self-Care: By prioritizing your own mental health, you lead by example. Small actions—like taking breaks, setting boundaries, or seeking therapy—can inspire others to do the same.

Every step forward creates ripples. Whether it’s sharing a resource, hosting a workshop, or simply being present for someone, these actions contribute to a broader culture of care.

Organizations Making a Difference

NAMI: Empowering Individuals and Families

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has long been a cornerstone in the mental health awareness movement. Through education, advocacy, and support, NAMI equips individuals and families with the tools to navigate mental health challenges.

One of NAMI’s standout initiatives is its “Take the Moment” campaign. This program emphasizes integrating small, mindful actions into daily routines to support mental wellness. These moments could include five minutes of deep breathing, journaling gratitude, or taking a short walk to reset. By framing mental health care as accessible and actionable, NAMI reduces barriers and encourages sustained well-being.

NAMI’s educational programs, such as Family-to-Family and Basics, provide invaluable support for caregivers. These peer-led initiatives equip participants with practical strategies, from navigating the mental health care system to managing stress within the family. Participants frequently describe these programs as transformative, offering not just knowledge but a sense of hope and empowerment.

SAMHSA: Enhancing Mental Health Literacy

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) focuses on improving access to resources and promoting understanding through a systemic lens. Initiatives like the National Helpline and the National Child Traumatic Stress Network connect individuals and communities to critical care.

SAMHSA’s efforts in public health data, such as the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), inform policy and drive effective interventions. Their resources enable schools, workplaces, and healthcare providers to implement evidence-based practices, ensuring mental health care reaches diverse populations.

While organizations lead the charge, communities are the heartbeat of the mental health awareness movement. Events like NAMIWalks demonstrate the power of collective action. These nationwide walks bring together thousands of individuals to raise funds, share stories, and create visible solidarity for mental health causes.

Participants often describe the experience as life-affirming. Walking alongside others who share similar struggles fosters connection and reduces isolation. Funds raised during these events directly support local programs, ensuring year-round resources for those in need.

Beyond events, community-driven initiatives—like peer support groups, school workshops, and local advocacy efforts—extend the impact of mental health awareness. These grassroots movements build networks of care that resonate long after the events end.

The Power of Personal Stories

At the heart of mental health awareness are the stories of those who have walked this path. Programs like NAMI In Our Own Voice amplify these voices, offering firsthand accounts of living with mental illness and finding hope.

Sharing personal experiences breaks down stereotypes and inspires others to seek help. It shows that recovery is possible and that no one is alone in their struggles. For those who share, the act itself can be healing, transforming pain into purpose.

If you’re considering sharing your story, here are some guidelines to ensure it’s a positive experience:

• Reflect on your readiness and boundaries.
• Emphasize hope and recovery while being honest about challenges.
• Provide actionable advice or resources for others.
• Practice self-care and seek support after sharing.

Every story becomes a thread in the fabric of understanding, weaving a stronger, more compassionate society.

Social Media’s Role in Awareness

Digital platforms have transformed mental health advocacy, making it easier to connect and share resources. Campaigns like #TakeAMentalHealthMoment and #EndTheStigma amplify voices and reach audiences who might not engage otherwise.

Social media fosters connection but requires thoughtful engagement. Here’s how to contribute:

• Share factual, reputable resources.
• Participate in hashtag campaigns to join larger conversations.
• Post supportive content, like affirmations or coping tips.
• Engage empathetically with others’ stories.

However, balance is key. Maintaining your own digital wellness by setting boundaries ensures that advocacy doesn’t become overwhelming.

Moving Beyond Awareness: Taking Action

Mental health awareness is the foundation for action. From volunteering with organizations to advocating for policy changes, there are countless ways to make a tangible difference:

1. Volunteer Locally: Support programs like NAMI’s peer groups or awareness events.
2. Advocate for Policy: Contact lawmakers to support mental health initiatives and funding.
3. Support Research: Contribute to organizations advancing mental health studies.
4. Engage Workplaces: Encourage mental health-friendly policies like flexible schedules or wellness programs.

Advocacy transforms awareness into systemic change, ensuring mental health remains a priority in healthcare, education, and beyond.

A Year-Round Commitment

Awareness is not confined to a specific month or event. It’s a continuous effort to educate, support, and advocate for better mental health outcomes. Here’s how you can stay engaged year-round:

• Continue learning and sharing knowledge.
• Build supportive habits in your daily life.
• Offer empathy and support to those in need.
• Advocate for long-term improvements in mental health care.

By committing to these actions, you contribute to a society where mental health is valued and supported—not just during campaigns, but every single day.

A Collective Journey

Mental health awareness is more than an idea; it’s a shared journey toward understanding and support. By educating ourselves, fostering connections, and advocating for systemic change, we can create a world where mental health is no longer a stigma but a priority.

Together, through compassion and action, we can build a mentally healthier, more inclusive society.

Featured photo credit: Photo by Victoria Volkova on Unsplash via unsplash.com