I mentioned in yesterday’s post that I’ve really been struggling with staying focused and motivated on working on our bedroom lately. I want our bedroom finished, but it’s all of those steps to get to that finished room that I’ve been struggling with.

But after watching that one little motivational video last night, which couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes long, I realized that what she was describing at the beginning of that video was exactly the trap that I have fallen into over the last few weeks. I get up in the morning, every morning, and focus on solely on what I need to finish that particular day (drywall, challenging trim issues, unlevel floors, etc.), and I just feel dread. I haven’t felt excited about my work in weeks. I have to force myself to work, but I make excuses to take as many breaks as possible. And as a result, I’m just extending the amount of time it takes me to get through the projects I don’t want to do.

 

 

Today, start by giving yourself grace and remembering not to judge yourself for how long your journey is taking. We all need our own time to travel our own distance. Every step is necessary, and everyone journeys in their own way…

Some people start their careers right out of college in their early twenties, only to find themselves burnt out and starting over when they reach their early thirties. Others start working minimum wage jobs right out of high school and work their way up the corporate ladder, retiring happily in their mid-sixties. Some people fall in love and get married in their mid-twenties, but wind up divorced a few years later. Others marry in their early forties and spend four decades with their soul mate. Some couples are ridiculed for becoming teen parents, but end up living to meet their great grandchildren. Other couples get pregnant in their mid-forties and are ridiculed in a different way, but make it work just fine.

Again, everyone’s journey is different.

So just remind yourself right now: there are no absolutes in life.

And there certainly are no fixed timelines.

It’s not too late to make the best of what’s in front of you.

You’re exactly where you need to be right now.

Which means it’s time to…

1. Start being a beginner again.

“Starting over is not an option!”

Unfortunately that’s a lie many of us hold on to until the bitter end.

The idea of starting over being a bad thing is baked right into the fabric of our society’s education system. We send our children to a university when they’re 17 or 18, and basically tell them to choose a career path they’ll be happy with for the next 40 years. “But what if I choose wrong?” I remember thinking to myself. And that’s exactly what I did, in more ways than one. Over the years, however, I’ve learned the truth through experience: you can change paths anytime you want to, and oftentimes it’s absolutely necessary that you do.

Yes, starting over and making substantial changes in your life is almost always feasible. It won’t be easy of course, but neither is being stuck with a lifelong career you naively chose when you were a teenager. And neither is holding on to something that’s not meant to be, or something that’s already long gone.

The truth is, no one wins a game of chess by only moving forward; sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win. And this is a perfect metaphor for life. Sometimes when it feels like you’re running into one dead end after another, it’s actually a sign that you’re not on the right path. Maybe you were meant to hang a left back when you took a right, and that’s perfectly fine. Life gradually teaches us that U-turns are allowed. So turn around when you must! There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words that can release you from your past mistakes and regrets, and get you back on track. These words are: “From now on…”

So from now on what should you do?

Mix it up a little bit. Take one step at a time. Find ways to provide a healthy challenge to your current understanding of life, and you will discover and experience far more of life’s magic in the days ahead. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Success chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

2. Start doing the hard stuff you’ve been putting off.

Find the courage to do the hard things you need to do to be happy. The things no one else seems to be doing for themselves. The things that frighten you a little bit. The things others can’t possibly do for you. The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward. Yes, do those things, because those are the things that define you! Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living—between knowing the path and walking the path… between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with happiness and personal growth.

And remember, the courage to do hard things doesn’t always roar out loud. Sometimes it’s simply the quiet voice at the very end of the day whispering, “I will try again tomorrow.”

3. Start embracing the discomfort that’s worth it to you.

Discomfort can be a form of pain, but it isn’t a deep pain—it’s a shallow one. It’s the feeling you get when you’ve stepped outside of your comfort zone. The idea of exercising in many people’s minds, for example, brings discomfort, so they don’t do it. Eating a spinach and kale salad brings discomfort too. So does meditating, or writing in a journal, or focusing on a difficult task, or saying “no” to others. Of course these are just examples, because different people find discomfort in different things, but you get the gist.

The key thing to understand is that most forms of discomfort actually help us grow into our strongest and smartest selves. However, many of us were raised by loving parents who did so much to make our childhoods comfortable, that we inadvertently grew up to subconsciously believe that we don’t need discomfort in our lives. So now we run from it constantly. The problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the activities and opportunities within our comfort zones. And since our comfort zones are relativity small, we miss out on most of life’s greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle.

Let’s use diet and exercise as an example…

• First, we become unhealthy because eating healthy food and exercising feels uncomfortable, so we opt for comfort food and mindless TV watching instead.
• But then, being unhealthy is also uncomfortable, so we seek to distract ourselves from the reality of our unhealthy bodies by eating more unhealthy food and watching more unhealthy entertainment and going to the mall to shop for things we don’t really want or need. And our discomfort just gets worse.

Amazingly, the simple act of accepting a little discomfort every day and taking it one small step at a time can solve most of our common problems, and make our minds happier, healthier, and stronger in the long run.

But again, it’s hard sometimes—really, really hard! There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. That’s not how we’re made. We’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall here and there. Because that’s part of living—to face discomfort, learn from it, and adapt over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

So when you find yourself cocooned in isolation and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings. Just because today is uncomfortable and stressful, doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be wonderful. You just got to get there.

4. Start consciously thinking better about yourself.

You have to admit, you’ve spent a lot of your life subconsciously belittling yourself. Thinking you’re not enough. Trying to be someone else. Someone who fits in. Someone who’s less sensitive. Less needy. Less flawed. Less YOU. Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to scare people away. You wanted them to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be seen as worthy and lovable. So you could feel healed and whole.

And so for the longest time, behind a facade of fake smiles, you have inadvertently betrayed yourself for the purpose of pleasing everyone else.

And for longest time, your heart has ached.

But you’re at a point now where you’re seeing things differently. The heartache just isn’t worth it anymore. Belittling yourself for one more day just doesn’t make any sense. And more than that, you now realize no matter what you do or how you change, some people will never be pleased anyway.

You now realize you have to start doing things for the right reasons!

Not because it’s what you think everyone else needs, but because you finally know yourself to be worthy of your own love and care.

Not because other people approve of you, but because you are breathing your own air, thinking your own thoughts, and occupying a space no one else ever could.

Yes, you are indeed worthy! Your ideas are worthy. Your feelings are worthy. Your needs are worthy. And without everyone else’s constant validation, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it means walking alone down the path less traveled for awhile…

Even if your self-confidence has been shaken!

The real battle is always in your mind. And your mind is under your control, not the other way around.

You may have been broken down by adversity or rejection or stress, but YOU are not broken. So don’t let others convince you otherwise. And don’t let your mind get the best of you either.

Heal yourself by refusing to belittle yourself.

Choose to take up a lot of positive space in your own life today. Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs. Choose to honor your feelings and emotions. Choose to make self-love and self-care a part of your daily rituals…

Choose to think better about yourself, so you can live better in spite of the challenges you face.

5. Start taking short breaks away from your own issues.

In life’s tougher moments, we all have the tendency to put ourselves at the center of the universe, and see everything from the viewpoint of how it affects us. And this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect, to feeling lost and alone with our issues when we’re having a bad day.

So whenever I catch myself lingering at the center in a negative state of mind, I do my best to briefly shift my focus away from my own issues, and onto other people around me that I might be able to help. Finding little ways to be of service to others gets me out of my self-centered thinking, and then I’m not wallowing alone in self-pity anymore—I’m starting to think about what others need. I’m not doubting myself, because the question of whether I’m good enough is no longer the central question. The central question now is about what others need.

It’s one of life’s great paradoxes: when we serve others we end up benefiting as much if not more than those we serve. So whenever you feel a bit lost or stuck with your own issues, try to shift your focus from your circumstances to the circumstances of those around you. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” ask, “How can I help you?” Find someone who could use an extra hand and make a small, reasonable offer they can’t refuse. The perspective you gain from doing so will guide you forward.

Angel and I initially developed this strategy in our lives about 15 years ago as we were struggling with the near simultaneous loss of two loved ones. It was really hard to find motivation when we didn’t think we had the strength to push forward—when we felt downright defeated and sorry for ourselves. But we took one small step every day—oftentimes just writing a short blog post to share some lessons learned with others who might find our stories and ideas helpful—and it felt good, and we gradually grew stronger.

This morning, as I caught myself struggling with some recent inner conflicts, I followed suit again—I took a small step forward… just turning on my laptop, opening up a new document, and writing a single sentence. Such an action is so small as to seem insignificant, and yet so easy as to be possible when I was feeling down. And it showed me the next step was possible, and the next. And the end result is the blog post you’ve just finished reading. I sincerely hope you’ve benefited from it in some small way.

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn today! I sincerely hope you will make the best of it, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will leverage the reminders above to create something that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the outcomes you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this crazy world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will be extra kind to yourself and others.

And before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

If it keeps you busy but will hold you back someday, it’s a distraction. Don’t settle.

There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short not to focus more on what matters most. And life is definitely too short for habits and routines that keep you stuck in a cycle of feeling like you’re a day late and a dollar short. So today, let’s discuss three incredibly common patterns of behavior that keep the vast majority of us stuck in that cycle, day after day.

1. We keep trying to overcome the odds in an unsupportive environment.

No matter how strong you are, and no matter how much determination and willpower you have, if you keep yourself positioned in an environment that works against your best intentions, you will eventually succumb to that environment.

This is where so many of us make life-altering missteps. When we find ourselves struggling to make progress in an unhealthy environment, we somehow believe that we have no other choice — that positioning ourselves in a more supportive environment, even for short intervals, is impossible. So rather than working in a supportive environment that pushes us forward, we expend all our energy trying to pull the baggage of an unhealthy environment along with us. And eventually, despite our best efforts, we run out of energy.

The key thing to remember here is that, as a human being, your environment immensely affects you. And, consequently, one of the best uses of your energy is to consciously choose and design working and living environments for yourself that support and facilitate the outcomes you intend to achieve.

For example, if you’re trying to reduce your alcohol consumption, you must…

1. Spend less time around people that consume alcohol.
2. Spend less time in social environments that promote alcohol consumption.

Because if you don’t your willpower will eventually collapse…

“One more drink won’t hurt, right?”

Wrong!

You need to set clear boundaries, commit, and then reconfigure your environment to make the achievement of your commitment possible.

Let’s think about some other common examples:

• If you want to lose weight, your best bet is to spend more time in healthy environments with people who eat healthy and exercise on a regular basis.
• If you want to become a paid, professional comedian — a goal one of our Getting Back to Happy Course students recently achieved — your best bet is to surround yourself with professional comedians, do local gigs together, share experiences, and orient your living and working environment to that goal.
• If you want to overcome your struggles and live a happier life, your best bet is to spend more time communicating with people who share these same intentions. This can be achieved through local support groups, personal-growth conferences, or online via courses and supportive communities.

The bottom line is that strength, determination, and willpower will only get you so far. If you want to make a substantial, positive, long-term change in your life, you also have to change your environment accordingly. This is truly the foundation of how we evolve as human beings. We mold and adapt to our environments, gradually, for better or worse. Thus, conscious growth involves decisively seeking out or creating enriching environments that encourage you to grow.

2. We keep trying to achieve “success” exactly as others have defined it.

When I was growing up there was a mostly quiet yet unanimously agreed upon definition of what success looked like in my family. Although it was rarely discussed openly, it was implied through various conversations and decisions I was directly or indirectly included in.

All of my immediate and extended family members were in one of two groups:

• College educated with a comfortable salaried job at a large corporation
• Blue-collar worker who diligently worked his or her way up the corporate ladder at a large corporation

The major commonality being a steady paycheck from an established corporation. That was the implicitly agreed upon definition of success in my family. And by that definition, I was a failure, and still am.

I earned a college degree, but I opted to hop between several small startup companies out of college instead. My paychecks were low and the stability of my work was inconsistent at best (but I was learning). Then, a few years down the road, amidst a landslide of personal tragedies, I quit my day job to focus full-time on a side project called Marc and Angel Hack Life (you may have heard of it) that Marc and I had been gradually developing and supporting on nights and weekends.

Needless to say, my family was very skeptical of my evolving career path and decisions.

At some point, however, I realized I had to give up my family’s definition of success.

And I had to give up everyone else’s definition of success too.

Of course, doing so was easier said than done. The definitions of success that I had grown up around, and the beliefs they carried, were so deeply embedded in the traditions and narratives I was accustomed to that they had very much become a benchmark by which I measured my life. So it took me awhile to get my head straight about what success meant to me. And to a certain extent I’m sure you can relate, because no one is immune to this phenomena. Even the most seasoned entrepreneurs and creative types I know still get caught up in the overplayed ideas of fame and fortune being symbols of success.

The bottom line is that, although quite challenging, giving up other people’s definition of success is incredibly liberating and ultimately leads to the fullest expression of who YOU are.

Just think about it…

Other people aren’t going to live with the results of your choices.  So why should you live according to their contrived definition of success?

Have you recently stopped to ask yourself what success means to YOU right now?

Or have you simply adopted your definition and beliefs from everyone around you?

For far too many us, the answer is the latter.

A coaching client recently told Marc and me that she wanted to become a millionaire to satisfy certain milestones for success that she had set for herself. But as we dug deeper into her story and her reasoning, it became evident that a number of her reasons for wanting to be a millionaire didn’t require a million dollars to achieve. She had just been conditioned to believe they did. And she literally laughed out loud when she realized this.

By understanding the essence of your goals and how YOU define success, it’s easier to give up other people’s contrived definitions and beliefs. And remember, the point is not that one measure of success is any better or worse than another. The point is that you get to choose how you define it for yourself.

Simply recognize that the more conscious and deliberate you can be about what success means for YOU, the more empowered you will be to pursue the path that’s true for you, and the less regret you will feel at the end of your journey. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts & Reflections to Start Every Day” is a great tool for this kind of daily self-reflection and self-validation.)

3. We keep waiting to find passion somewhere outside ourselves.

Learn to believe in your heart that you’re meant to live each day full of passion and purpose — that each and every moment is worthy in its own way. And remind yourself that passion is not something you find in life; it’s something you do. When you want to find the passion and inner strength needed to change your situation, you have to push yourself to step forward.

Many of us are still hopelessly trying to “find our passion” — something that we believe will lead us closer to happiness, success, or the life situation we ultimately want. And I say “hopelessly” primarily because passion can’t really be found. When we say we’re trying to find our passion, it implies that our passion is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. The truth is, our passion comes from doing things right. If you’re waiting to somehow “find your passion” somewhere outside yourself, so you finally have a reason to put your whole heart and soul into your life and the changes you need to make, you’ll likely be waiting around for an eternity.

On the other hand, if you’re tired of waiting, and you’d rather live more passionately starting today and experience small positive changes, it’s time to proactively inject passion into the very next thing you do. Think about it:

• When was the last time you sat down and had a conversation with someone nearby, with zero distractions and 100 percent focus?
• When was the last time you exercised and put every bit of effort you could muster into it?
• When was the last time you truly tried — truly tried — to do your very best?

Like most of us, you’re likely putting a halfhearted effort into most of the things you do on a daily basis. Because you’re still waiting. You’re still waiting to “find” something to be passionate about — some magical reason to step into the life you want to create for yourself. But you need to do the exact opposite!

When I was a kid my grandmother used to tell me, “Stop waiting for better opportunities. The one you have in front of you is the best opportunity.” She also said, “Too often we spend too much time making it perfect in our heads before we ever even do it. Stop waiting for perfection and just do your best with what you have today, and then improve it tomorrow.”

Believe it or not, recent psychological research indirectly reinforces my grandmother’s sentiments. For many years, psychologists believed our minds could directly affect our physical state of being, but never the other way around. Nowadays, however, it is widely documented that our bodies — for example, our momentary facial expressions and body posture — can directly affect our mental state of being too. So while it’s true that we change from the inside out, we also change from the outside in.  And you can make this reality work for you. If you want more passion and happiness in your life right now, act accordingly right now.

Put your heart and soul into something!

Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but into the opportunity right in front of you.

Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but into today’s tasks.

Not into tomorrow’s run, but into today’s run.

Not into tomorrow’s relationships, but into today’s relationships.

Marc and I are certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time and energy. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of potential passion within you, just waiting… STOP WAITING!

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to practice paying attention to the beauty and practicality of living a more intentional life, with passion and purpose, in healthy environments…

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the habits or points mentioned above gave you the most perspective today?

Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

You don’t realize how often you block your own present blessings by holding on to everything so tightly.

It’s always necessary to accept when some part of your life has reached its inevitable end. Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc. It doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those former parts of your life that are over, and those little ideals in your mind that simply aren’t meant to be.

Over the past 15 years, as Angel and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the most common cause of human frustration on an average day is our stubborn propensity to hold on to things long after it’s time to let go. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to the hope that things will go exactly as we imagine, and then we complicate our lives to no end when they don’t.

So let’s take a look at some of those things we often regret holding on to in life…

1. The way things “should be” today.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on how you play the hands you’ve been dealt.

2. The way things used to be.

You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a week ago. You’re always learning and growing, and life is always evolving. Even though you can’t control everything that happens, again, you can control your attitude about what happens. And in doing so, you will gradually master change rather than allowing it to master you. So be humble today. Be teachable. The world is bigger than your view of the world. There’s always room for a fresh idea or a next step. But first you must accept the fact that things may never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really a new beginning.

3. Old mistakes and errors in judgment.

Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you’ve made in the past, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that accidentally hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them.

4. That subtle desire to change the unchangeable.

Be selective with your energy today. If you can fix a problem, fix it. If you can’t, then accept it and change your thoughts about it. Whatever you do, don’t attempt to invest more energy than you have, tripping over something behind you or something that only exists inside your head. Truth be told, some of the most powerful moments in life happen when you find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything.

5. The fantasy of a perfect path (or time to begin).

Too often we waste our time waiting for a path to appear, but it never does. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. And we forget that there’s absolutely nothing about our present circumstances that prevents us from making progress again, one tiny step at a time.

6. The need for constant comfort and familiarity.

Everything gets a bit uncomfortable when it’s time for a change. That’s just a part of the growth process. Things will get better, step by step. And keep in mind that your effort is never wasted, even when it leads to disappointing results. For it always makes you stronger, more educated, and more experienced in the long run. So when the going gets tough, be patient and keep going. Just because you are struggling does not mean you are failing. Every great success requires some kind of worthy struggle to get there.

7. Relationships that always make you feel less like yourself.

Let others take you as you are, or not at all. Speak your truth even if your voice shakes. By being yourself, you put something beautiful into the world that was not there before. And remember that in the long run it’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than it is to keep them by being someone you’re not. Because it’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be. (Note: Angel and I discuss strategies for living true to these words in the Relationships chapters of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

8. Those old chapters that are still lingering half-open.

You’re going to mingle with a lot of people in your lifetime. You’re going to have first kisses you feel all the way down to your toes and think “Oh my gosh, I love him,” but really…you loved the kiss. You’re going to meet a friend you think you will know forever, but then something will change and you two will go your separate ways. You’re going to explore different parts of your life with different people who aren’t in it for the long haul, and that isn’t a bad thing. Life is a series of stories, and the way our stories intersect is remarkable. Sometimes people are in our lives for the whole story. Sometimes they are just a short chapter or two. It takes a wise person to know when that chapter is over, and then to turn the page.

An exercise for letting go and letting things breathe…

In each of the aforementioned points above, the mind holds on tight to something — an ideal — that isn’t real. And after awhile the inevitable happens: unnecessary stress ensues.

So how can we stop holding on so tight?

There are many ways, but right now let’s begin by letting everything breathe…

As you read these words, you are breathing. Stop for a moment and notice this breath. You can control this breath, and make it faster or slower, or make it behave as you like. Or you can simply let yourself inhale and exhale naturally. There is peace in just letting your lungs breathe, without having to control the situation or do anything about it. Now imagine letting other parts of your body breathe, like your tense shoulders. Just let them be, without having to tense them or control them.

Now look around the room you’re in and notice the objects around you. Pick one, and let it breathe. There are likely people in the room with you too, or in the same house or building, or in nearby houses or buildings. Visualize them in your mind, and let them breathe.

When you let everything and everyone breathe, you just let them be, exactly as they are. You don’t need to control them, worry about them, or change them. You just let them breathe, in peace, and you accept them as they are… so you can be on your way. This is the foundation of what letting go is all about. It can be a life-changing practice.

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to let go and let things breathe, so you can open yourself up to the next real and present chapter of your life. But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

It always feels better to be exhausted from taking little steps forward, than it does to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.

In 1911 two explorers, Amundsen and Scott, embarked on a race against each other to become the first known human being to set foot upon the southernmost point of Earth. It was the age of Antarctic exploration, as the South Pole represented one of the last uncharted areas in the world. Amundsen wished to plant the Norwegian flag there on behalf of his country, while Scott hoped to stake his claim for England.

The journey there and back from their base camps was about 1,400 miles, which is roughly equivalent to a round-trip hike from New York City to Chicago. Both men would be traveling the same exact distance on foot through extremely cold and harsh weather conditions. And both men were equally equipped with experience, supplies, and a supporting team of fellow explorers. But what wasn’t certain is how each of them would approach the inevitable challenges they faced on the road ahead.

As it turned out, Amundsen and Scott took entirely different approaches to the very same challenges.

Scott directed his team to hike as far as possible on the good weather days and then rest on bad weather days to conserve energy. Conversely, Amundsen directed his team to follow a strict regimen of consistent daily progress by hiking exactly 20 miles every day, regardless of weather conditions. Even on the warmest, clear-sky days, when Amundsen’s team was capable of hiking much farther, Amundsen was absolutely adamant that they travel no more than 20 miles to conserve their energy for the following day’s hike.

Which team succeeded in the end?

The team that took consistent daily action.

Why?

Because what we do EVERY day defines us!

Today’s progress is always compounded by yesterday’s effort, no matter how small.

And it all comes down to the power of consistent self-discipline.

Think about the most common problems we deal with in our modern lives — from lack of presence to lack of exercise to unhealthy diets to procrastination, and so forth. In most cases, problems like these are not caused not by a physically present limitation, but by a weakness of the mind — specifically, a lack of self-discipline.

We put the hard things off until tomorrow — because the “weather” is bad — until we’ve lost our edge. We grow accustomed to the idea that things should be easier than they are, and that waiting another day or two makes the best sense. Then one day we wake up and we’re emotionally incapable of doing the hard things that must be done — it’s too late.

Let this be your wake-up call!

Your mind and body both need to be exercised to gain strength. They need to be challenged, and they need to be worked consistently, to grow and develop over time. If you haven’t pushed yourself in lots of little ways over time — if you always avoid doing the hard things — of course you’ll crumble on the inevitable days that are harder than you expected.

And if I had to guess, I’d say Scott’s team suffered in exactly this way. They tried to make things easier on themselves — the fantasy of “easier” became their mantra — their subconscious goal. But this fantasy was never going to be a reality during a 1,400-mile footrace in the South Pole.

Scott’s team lost the race, not just on the ground, but in their heads first.

They were convinced that waiting made things easier.

Don’t follow in their footsteps — don’t wait until it’s too late!

Remember, many great things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow. Take positive action and plant the right seeds in your life right now. Nature herself does not distinguish between what seeds she receives. She grows whatever seeds are planted. This is the way life works. Be mindful of the seeds you plant today, as they will become the crop you harvest tomorrow.

So with that principle in mind, I want to share some key daily practices we’ve seen make all the difference in the lives of hundreds of our coaching clients, course members, and live event attendees over the past 16 years — simple (but far from easy) things they do every day that ultimately move their lives forward.

1. Start letting go of rigid ideals and expectations.

When a thought comes to mind, ask yourself if it’s helping you grow or holding you back. Take back control! Make the unconscious conscious, and let go of what isn’t serving you. This form of letting go is not giving up, it’s surrendering any obsessive emotional attachment to particular people, outcomes, and situations. It means showing up every day in your life with the intention to be your best self, and to do the best you know how, without expecting life to go exactly as planned. Have goals, have dreams, take purposeful action, and build great relationships, but detach from what every aspect of your life must absolutely look like to be “good enough” for you. Just accept reality and then respond effectively. Focus on what matters — what moves you forward today — and let go of what does not.

2. Start putting your heart and soul into the little things you do.

There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short. Invest daily in meaningful activities. Don’t wait around! Too often we wait, because we think we need to “find” something new or different to be passionate about. But that’s not true. If you want more passion in your life right now, act accordingly right now!

Put your whole heart and soul into the next thing you do. Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but the opportunity right in front of you. Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but today’s tasks. Not into tomorrow’s run, but today’s run. Not into tomorrow’s conversations, but today’s conversations. I’m absolutely certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time, energy, and passionate focus. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of passionate potential within you, just waiting. Stop waiting! There is no tomorrow. Put your heart and soul into what you’ve got right in front of you! Become it, let it become you, and great things will happen for you, to you, and because of you.

3. Start stretching yourself to the edge of your ability.

When you’re struggling to make progress, that’s when you actually are. Let that sink in. It’s far wiser to spend an extremely high quality ten minutes stretching yourself, than it is to spend a mediocre hour sitting comfortably in place. You want to be stretched to the edge of your ability at least once a day; it needs to be somewhat difficult and slightly uncomfortable for a little while. But most of us don’t want to be uncomfortable, so we run from the possibility of discomfort constantly. The obvious problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the activities and opportunities within our comfort zones. And since our comfort zones are relativity small, we miss out on most of life’s greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle with our goals. We keep doing what we’ve always done, and thus we keep getting the results we’ve always gotten. And our true potential falls by the wayside.

Choose differently! Go to environments that expand your mind. Spend time with people who inspire you to stretch yourself. Read books. Grow. Get better. Your life is mostly your choice.

4. Start giving yourself more grace when things don’t go well.

It’s incredibly easy to overestimate the significance of a single decision, outcome, or event in the heat of the moment. But you must remind yourself to take a deep breath when things don’t go your way. Your results in the long run — good or bad — are always the byproduct of many small steps, outcomes, and events that transpire over time.

The truth is we all fail sometimes. The greater truth is that no single failure ever defines us. Learn from your mistakes, grow wiser, and press on. Character and wisdom are sculpted gradually. They come with loss, lessons, and triumphs. They come after doubts, second guesses, and uncertainty. The seeds of your success are planted in your past troubles and failures. Your best stories will come from overcoming your greatest challenges. Your praises will be birthed from your pains. So keep standing, keep learning, and keep living.

5. Start side-stepping unnecessary drama.

Tune out the cheap shots people take at you along the way. Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. Seriously, before you waste it on anger, spite or frustration, think of how precious and irreplaceable your time is today. Give yourself a permanent break from the drama that can be easily avoided — don’t engage in it.

Life is just too short to constantly argue and fight. Count your blessings, value the people who matter, and move on from the drama with your head held high. Remind yourself that calmness is a human superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear, your heart at peace, and yourself moving forward. So take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally. Listen to others, and then operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.

6. Start being true to your values and convictions.

Rejections don’t matter that much in the long run. Accept them and refocus your attention on what does matter. What does matter is how you see yourself. So always make a habit of staying 100% true to your values and convictions, regardless of what others think. Never be ashamed of doing what feels right…

To help you implement this positive habit, start by listing out 5-10 things that are important to you when it comes to building your character and living your life. For example, Honesty, Reliability, Self-Respect, Self-Discipline, Compassion, and Kindness. Having a short list like this to reference will give you an opportunity to consciously invoke and uphold your handpicked traits and behaviors in place of doing something random simply for the purpose of external validation. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Self-Love chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

7. Start looking for silver linings.

The most powerful weapon against stress on the average day is our ability to choose one thought over another. Train your mind to see the good. Studies have shown that doctors who are put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis consistently experience significant boosts to their intellectual abilities than doctors in a neutral state, which allows them to make accurate diagnoses almost 20% faster. Similar studies of other vocations have shown that optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by over 50%, and university students primed to feel happy before taking math exams statistically outperform their neutral peers. It turns out that our minds are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative, or even neutral, but when they are positive.

So think a little less about managing your problems and a little more about managing your mindset. Do your best to keep it positive.

8. Start focusing inward more often.

Do your best to focus inward as often as necessary, especially when you need a moment of clarity. And remember that your time spent focusing inward and finding clarity doesn’t just help you — your mind is powerful and your thoughts create ripples in other people’s lives. When you bring clarity into your life, you bring the best of yourself into everything you do — you tend to treat yourself and others better, communicate more constructively, do things for the right reasons, and ultimately improve the world you’re living in. This is why daily praying, or simply reflecting on some positive quotes, can actually make a real-world difference in your life. A heightened level of your conscious awareness — mental clarity — elevates you in countless ways. And then interesting things begin happening — good things that are outside of your immediate purview… good things you haven’t even thought of yet.

9. Start embracing your humanness.

“Human” is the only real label we are born with, yet we forget so easily. To become attached to a loaded label of overweight, divorced, diseased, rejected, or poor, is to be like the rain, that doesn’t know it is also the clouds… or the ice, that forgets it is water. For we are far more than the shape we’re currently in. And we, like the wind, water, and sky, will change forms many times in our lives, while forever remaining beautifully human.

Once we fully embrace our humanness, it’s almost funny to see how quickly we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without… and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Take this to heart. And don’t forget to pause at least once a day to appreciate how far you’ve come. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve grown a lot too. Give yourself credit for the steps you’ve taken, so you can step forward again with grace.

10. Start taking the next small step, and the next.

Sometimes it’s really hard to get going again. This is how Angel and I felt 20 years ago when we were stuck in a rut after simultaneously losing two loved ones to death. It was really hard to move when we didn’t think we had the strength to push forward. But we pushed ourselves to take one small step every day — one journal entry, one workout, one honest conversation, and so forth — and it felt good, and we got stronger. And believe it or not, that’s basically what I did again this morning…

Earlier today I was struggling to motivate myself after a pretty significant business opportunity fell through. I was feeling utterly defeated. So I took the tiniest possible step. Just turning on my laptop, opening up the word processing application, and writing a single sentence. Such an action is so small as to seem insignificant, and yet so easy as to be possible when I was feeling defeated. And it showed me that the next step was possible, and the next. And the end result is the article you’ve just finished reading.

Now it’s your turn…

The next step forward is yours for the taking. Just pick one of the aforementioned points and start focusing on it for 20 minutes every day. The key is making sustainable shifts in your beliefs and behavior. That means practicing each point gradually — one at a time, one day at a time, and then letting them build on one another. Go from zero to 10 over the course of six months or so, not all at once.

Will it be easy?

Not likely.

As you marshal forward in life, adversity is inescapable. It’s much like walking into a turbulent winter storm — like the ones Amundsen and Scott encountered on their race in the South Pole — as you fight to push onward, you not only gain strength, but it tears away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn. Once you come out of the storm you see yourself as you really are, in raw form, without the baggage that’s been holding you back. And that makes all the difference, because it frees you to take the next step, and the next…

But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Your thoughts can carry you. But weak thoughts don’t have the strength to carry you far.

Attaching to the wrong nagging thoughts and acting on them is one of the most common barriers to living a relatively happy life. If you allow these thoughts to dwell for too long, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and your overall effectiveness on a daily basis. You will think yourself into endless disappointment and frustration. And make no mistake about it, when you are continuously feeling frustrated on an average day, the battle you are going through isn’t fueled directly by the words or actions of others, and it isn’t fueled directly by what did or didn’t happen in the past either. It’s fueled primarily by your mind that gives negativity a daily stage to shout from. In a very real sense, you are what you think — you can’t change anything if you can’t change your thinking.

But are you ready for the silver lining?

You can change the way you think!

And when you change the way you think, you can gradually master a new way to be.

So today we’re going to take a look at five common negative thought patterns, along with some effective methods for breaking these nagging patterns and re-training your inner voice. These are the same methods we’ve successfully used with our course students and coaching clients over the past 15 years. But first, let’s examine a fundamental error in judgment negative thinkers tend to make:

People who are habitual negative thinkers are often proud to describe themselves as “realists.” Of course, anyone who holds a strong belief thinks they are being “realistic” by holding it, whether it involves alien encounters, perfectly truthful politicians, or otherwise.

The “being realistic” pronouncement is a common favorite among cynics everywhere. And in a way they are correct. But only because negative thinking causes the human mind to give up on everything — to not even try, or to give a disorganized, half-hearted effort — so the negativity itself influences the end result. Self-fulfilling predictions like this really do happen. Research even suggests that in some cases what we believe about our health can have more bearing on how long we live than our actual physical health.

So why do we as human beings do this to ourselves?

Because thinking negatively, expecting the worst, seeing the downside of positive situations, and even downright expecting failure, all convey a kind of backwards-thinking, emotional insurance policy. It happens subconsciously and it goes something like, “If I expect a catastrophe, then I won’t be quite as disappointed when it takes place.”

What makes all of this so alarming is the fact that it means negative thoughts can plague us even when life is going relatively well. For instance, the thought “This is way too good to last!” quickly wreaks havoc on a positive situation. Thus, the thoughts and methods discussed below have to do with how negative thinking distorts our perception of reality, oftentimes constantly on a daily basis.

It’s time to bring awareness to and re-evaluate…

1. Those nagging thoughts that make us exaggerate the negative (and minimize the positive).

Ask yourself: “If something negative unexpectedly happens, do I over-generalize it? Do I view it as applying to everything and being permanent rather than compartmentalizing it to one place and time?”

For example, if someone rejects you or turns you down for a date, do you spread the negativity beyond that person, time, and place by telling yourself, “I’m just not good at relationships — they never work out for me, ever”? If you fail an exam do you say to yourself, “Well I failed that exam; I’m not happy about it, but I’ll study more next time”? Or do you over-generalize it by telling yourself you’re “not smart enough” or “incapable of learning”?

Remember, negative thinking stops us from seeing and experiencing positive outcomes even when they happen often. It’s as if there’s a special mental block filtering out all the positives and only letting in data that confirms the negative biases we have. So do your very best to catch yourself starting today.

Being able to distinguish between the negativity you imagine and what is actually happening in your life is an important step towards living a happier, healthier life. (Note: Marc and I discuss this more in the Happiness & Inspiration chapters of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

2. Those nagging thoughts that motivate us to ignore the grey areas between life’s extremes.

Life simply isn’t black or white — 100% of this or 100% of that — all or nothing. Thinking in extremes like this is a fast way to daily misery, because it basically views any situation that’s less than perfect as being bad. For example:

• Rather than the rainstorm slowing down my commute back home from the office, instead “it wasted my whole evening and ruined the night!”
• Rather than just accepting the nervousness of meeting a new group of people, “I know these people are not going to like me!”

Since 99% of all situations in life are less than perfect, “all or nothing” thinking tends to make us focus on the negatives — the drama, the failures, and the worst-case scenarios. Sure catastrophes occur on occasion, but contrary to what you may see on the evening news, most of life occurs in a grey area between the extremes of bliss and total devastation.

3. Those nagging thoughts that have us looking for negative signs from others.

Our negativity leads us to quickly jump to negative conclusions about the unknown, which can be especially harmful in our relationships. We are provoked to interpret something another person does as being negative, even when we have been given absolutely no indication of what the other person is thinking. For instance, “She hasn’t called so she must not want to talk to me,” or, “He only said that to be nice, but he doesn’t really mean it.” When we jump to conclusions like this, we only cause ourselves and others unnecessary pain, stress, and frustration.

So if someone says one thing, don’t assume they mean something else. If they say nothing at all, don’t assume their silence has some concealed negative connotation. Assigning meaning to a situation before you have the whole story makes you more likely to believe that the uncertainty you feel (based on lack of knowing) is a negative sign.

On the flip-side, holding off on assigning meaning to an incomplete story helps the mind overcome it’s negative thinking patterns. When you think more positively, or simply more clearly about the facts, you’ll be able to evaluate all the possible reasons you can think of, not just the negative ones. In other words, you’ll be doing more of: “I don’t know why she hasn’t called yet, but maybe… she’s actually extremely busy at work today.”

4. Those nagging thoughts that keep triggering us, again and again.

To change your thought patterns it helps to have a crystal-clear understanding of what you’re often thinking about and why. When a familiar negative thought arises in your mind, instead of ignoring it, pay closer attention and then record it for later evaluation. For example, if you’re sitting at your desk and you catch yourself ruminating about something negative, pause and write it down immediately. Get that raw thought out of your head and down on paper — just a short sentence or two that honestly depicts the specific thought that’s presently troubling you:

“I’m not good enough for the job I’m applying for because I don’t have enough experience.”

Then, identify what triggered the thought. Again, be brief and specific:

“I’m new to the industry, and therefore I’m feeling out of my comfort zone on most days.”

At the very least, this process of evaluating your negative thoughts and their underlying triggers helps bring a healthy, objective awareness to the sources of your negative thought patterns, which ultimately allows you to shift your mindset and take the next positive step forward.

5. Those nagging thoughts about never being good enough.

All journeys of positive change begin with a goal and the determination needed to achieve it. However, what do you think happens when you are too determined, or too obsessed, with a goal? You begin to nurture another belief: who you are right now is not good enough.

A few months ago, one of our course students had become overly obsessive in her efforts to meditate. As her interest in meditation grew, she began to increasingly say to herself, “I am not good enough,” and, “I have to be better at this.” She began to notice various imperfections within herself that needed to be “fixed.”

In a nutshell, her over-the-top efforts to meditate for extensive periods of time had opened the doors to lots of unexpected self-criticism and stress. Thankfully, with a little coaching from Marc and me, she eventually realized her obsession toward meditation had made her forget one of the basic objectives of meditation — acceptance.

So the bottom line is this: you have to accept yourself as you are, and then commit to personal growth. If you think you are absolutely “perfect” already, you will not make any positive efforts to grow. But, constantly criticizing yourself is just as counterproductive as doing nothing, because you will never be able to build new positive changes into your life when you’re obsessively focused on your flaws.

The key is to remind yourself that you already are good enough; you just need more practice. Change your mantra from, “I have to be better,” to, “I will do my absolute best today.” The second mantra is far more effective, because it actually prompts you to take positive action at any given moment while simultaneously accepting the reality that every effort may not be perfect.

Being able to distinguish between healthy striving and self-criticism on your journey is a critically important step towards living a happier and more successful life.

Now it’s your turn…

There’s a quote I’ve always loved that’s often credited to Ignatius: “Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.” That’s such a strong way to live! To me, it’s about using your faith to fuel positive thinking and positive action on the daily. I sincerely strive for this in my own life, and I sincerely wish this for YOU.

The five points covered above are solid starting points for unraveling your negative thinking patterns. The goal is to gradually get your thoughts based more in reality, detached from needless drama and confusion, and focused on the next positive step forward. Challenge yourself to work on it!

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the points above resonated the most today?

Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

If it keeps you busy but will hold you back someday, it’s a distraction. Don’t settle.

There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short not to focus more on what matters most. And life is definitely too short for habits and routines that keep you stuck in a cycle of feeling like you’re a day late and a dollar short. So today, let’s discuss three incredibly common patterns of behavior that keep the vast majority of us stuck in that cycle, day after day.

1. We keep trying to overcome the odds in an unsupportive environment.

No matter how strong you are, and no matter how much determination and willpower you have, if you keep yourself positioned in an environment that works against your best intentions, you will eventually succumb to that environment.

This is where so many of us make life-altering missteps. When we find ourselves struggling to make progress in an unhealthy environment, we somehow believe that we have no other choice — that positioning ourselves in a more supportive environment, even for short intervals, is impossible. So rather than working in a supportive environment that pushes us forward, we expend all our energy trying to pull the baggage of an unhealthy environment along with us. And eventually, despite our best efforts, we run out of energy.

The key thing to remember here is that, as a human being, your environment immensely affects you. And, consequently, one of the best uses of your energy is to consciously choose and design working and living environments for yourself that support and facilitate the outcomes you intend to achieve.

For example, if you’re trying to reduce your alcohol consumption, you must…

1. Spend less time around people that consume alcohol.
2. Spend less time in social environments that promote alcohol consumption.

Because if you don’t your willpower will eventually collapse…

“One more drink won’t hurt, right?”

Wrong!

You need to set clear boundaries, commit, and then reconfigure your environment to make the achievement of your commitment possible.

Let’s think about some other common examples:

• If you want to lose weight, your best bet is to spend more time in healthy environments with people who eat healthy and exercise on a regular basis.
• If you want to become a paid, professional comedian — a goal one of our Getting Back to Happy Course students recently achieved — your best bet is to surround yourself with professional comedians, do local gigs together, share experiences, and orient your living and working environment to that goal.
• If you want to overcome your struggles and live a happier life, your best bet is to spend more time communicating with people who share these same intentions. This can be achieved through local support groups, personal-growth conferences, or online via courses and supportive communities.

The bottom line is that strength, determination, and willpower will only get you so far. If you want to make a substantial, positive, long-term change in your life, you also have to change your environment accordingly. This is truly the foundation of how we evolve as human beings. We mold and adapt to our environments, gradually, for better or worse. Thus, conscious growth involves decisively seeking out or creating enriching environments that encourage you to grow.

2. We keep trying to achieve “success” exactly as others have defined it.

When I was growing up there was a mostly quiet yet unanimously agreed upon definition of what success looked like in my family. Although it was rarely discussed openly, it was implied through various conversations and decisions I was directly or indirectly included in.

All of my immediate and extended family members were in one of two groups:

• College educated with a comfortable salaried job at a large corporation
• Blue-collar worker who diligently worked his or her way up the corporate ladder at a large corporation

The major commonality being a steady paycheck from an established corporation. That was the implicitly agreed upon definition of success in my family. And by that definition, I was a failure, and still am.

I earned a college degree, but I opted to hop between several small startup companies out of college instead. My paychecks were low and the stability of my work was inconsistent at best (but I was learning). Then, a few years down the road, amidst a landslide of personal tragedies, I quit my day job to focus full-time on a side project called Marc and Angel Hack Life (you may have heard of it) that Marc and I had been gradually developing and supporting on nights and weekends.

Needless to say, my family was very skeptical of my evolving career path and decisions.

At some point, however, I realized I had to give up my family’s definition of success.

And I had to give up everyone else’s definition of success too.

Of course, doing so was easier said than done. The definitions of success that I had grown up around, and the beliefs they carried, were so deeply embedded in the traditions and narratives I was accustomed to that they had very much become a benchmark by which I measured my life. So it took me awhile to get my head straight about what success meant to me. And to a certain extent I’m sure you can relate, because no one is immune to this phenomena. Even the most seasoned entrepreneurs and creative types I know still get caught up in the overplayed ideas of fame and fortune being symbols of success.

The bottom line is that, although quite challenging, giving up other people’s definition of success is incredibly liberating and ultimately leads to the fullest expression of who YOU are.

Just think about it…

Other people aren’t going to live with the results of your choices.  So why should you live according to their contrived definition of success?

Have you recently stopped to ask yourself what success means to YOU right now?

Or have you simply adopted your definition and beliefs from everyone around you?

For far too many us, the answer is the latter.

A coaching client recently told Marc and me that she wanted to become a millionaire to satisfy certain milestones for success that she had set for herself. But as we dug deeper into her story and her reasoning, it became evident that a number of her reasons for wanting to be a millionaire didn’t require a million dollars to achieve. She had just been conditioned to believe they did. And she literally laughed out loud when she realized this.

By understanding the essence of your goals and how YOU define success, it’s easier to give up other people’s contrived definitions and beliefs. And remember, the point is not that one measure of success is any better or worse than another. The point is that you get to choose how you define it for yourself.

Simply recognize that the more conscious and deliberate you can be about what success means for YOU, the more empowered you will be to pursue the path that’s true for you, and the less regret you will feel at the end of your journey. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts & Reflections to Start Every Day” is a great tool for this kind of daily self-reflection and self-validation.)

3. We keep waiting to find passion somewhere outside ourselves.

Learn to believe in your heart that you’re meant to live each day full of passion and purpose — that each and every moment is worthy in its own way. And remind yourself that passion is not something you find in life; it’s something you do. When you want to find the passion and inner strength needed to change your situation, you have to push yourself to step forward.

Many of us are still hopelessly trying to “find our passion” — something that we believe will lead us closer to happiness, success, or the life situation we ultimately want. And I say “hopelessly” primarily because passion can’t really be found. When we say we’re trying to find our passion, it implies that our passion is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. The truth is, our passion comes from doing things right. If you’re waiting to somehow “find your passion” somewhere outside yourself, so you finally have a reason to put your whole heart and soul into your life and the changes you need to make, you’ll likely be waiting around for an eternity.

On the other hand, if you’re tired of waiting, and you’d rather live more passionately starting today and experience small positive changes, it’s time to proactively inject passion into the very next thing you do. Think about it:

• When was the last time you sat down and had a conversation with someone nearby, with zero distractions and 100 percent focus?
• When was the last time you exercised and put every bit of effort you could muster into it?
• When was the last time you truly tried — truly tried — to do your very best?

Like most of us, you’re likely putting a halfhearted effort into most of the things you do on a daily basis. Because you’re still waiting. You’re still waiting to “find” something to be passionate about — some magical reason to step into the life you want to create for yourself. But you need to do the exact opposite!

When I was a kid my grandmother used to tell me, “Stop waiting for better opportunities. The one you have in front of you is the best opportunity.” She also said, “Too often we spend too much time making it perfect in our heads before we ever even do it. Stop waiting for perfection and just do your best with what you have today, and then improve it tomorrow.”

Believe it or not, recent psychological research indirectly reinforces my grandmother’s sentiments. For many years, psychologists believed our minds could directly affect our physical state of being, but never the other way around. Nowadays, however, it is widely documented that our bodies — for example, our momentary facial expressions and body posture — can directly affect our mental state of being too. So while it’s true that we change from the inside out, we also change from the outside in.  And you can make this reality work for you. If you want more passion and happiness in your life right now, act accordingly right now.

Put your heart and soul into something!

Not into tomorrow’s opportunities, but into the opportunity right in front of you.

Not into tomorrow’s tasks, but into today’s tasks.

Not into tomorrow’s run, but into today’s run.

Not into tomorrow’s relationships, but into today’s relationships.

Marc and I are certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth your time and energy. You have people and circumstances in your life that need you as much as you need them. You have a massive reservoir of potential passion within you, just waiting… STOP WAITING!

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to practice paying attention to the beauty and practicality of living a more intentional life, with passion and purpose, in healthy environments…

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Which one of the habits or points mentioned above gave you the most perspective today?

Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.