Morning is here.

Maybe you feel a bit sluggish. Overwhelmed by the day in front of you. Or you just need a jolt of positive energy and motivation for work this morning.

To help you out with that I want to share 130 of the most powerful, motivational, funny and inspirational short good morning quotes.

I hope you’ll find something here to make this a positive morning and a happy and successful day.

Positive Short Good Morning Quotes to Start the Day Right

“Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.”
– Lemony Snicket

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”
– Dalai Lama

“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.”
– Buddha

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
– Marcus Aurelius

“I get up every morning and it’s going to be a great day. You never know when it’s going to be over so I refuse to have a bad day.”
– Paul Henderson

“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.”
– Mark Twain

“Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.”
– Yoko Ono

“My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.”
– Cary Grant

“Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself, ‘It’s going to be a good day!’”
– Lindsay Lohan

“Waking up this morning, I smile. 24 brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh

“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“Every day brings new choices.”
– Martha Beck

“Today is life – the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today.”
– Dale Carnegie

“Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities.”
– Harvey Mackay

“Now that your eyes are open, make the sun jealous with your burning passion to start the day. Make the sun jealous or stay in bed.”
– Malak El Halabi

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
– Anne Frank

“When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.”
– Steve Maraboli

“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.”
– Ursula K. Le Guin

“The morning was full of sunlight and hope.”
– Kate Chopin

“I used to love night best, but the older I get, the more treasures and hope and joy I find in mornings.”
– Terri Guillemets

“The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.”
– Rumi

Short and Motivational Good Morning Quotes for Work

“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.”
– Mark Twain

“Success isn’t always about ‘Greatness’, it’s about consistency. Consistent, hard work gains success. Greatness will come.”
– Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

“Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.”
– Richard Whately

“Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.”
– Dale Carnegie

“The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day.”
– Henry Ward Beecher

“You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.”
– George Horace Lorimer

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Think of many things; do one.”
– Portuguese proverb

“Focused, productive, successful mornings generate focused, productive, successful days – which inevitably create a successful life.”
– Hal Elrod

“In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

“Great acts are made up of small deeds.”
– Lao Tzu

“The only thing worse than starting something and failing… is not starting something.”
– Seth Godin

“I’m a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”
– Thomas Jefferson

“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen.”
– Wayne Huizenga

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”
– Napoleon Hill

“If you’re changing the world, you’re working on important things. You’re excited to get up in the morning.”
– Larry Page

“One key to success is to have lunch at the time of day most people have breakfast.”
– Robert Brault

“The sun has not caught me in bed in 50 years.”
– Thomas Jefferson

“Do not shorten the morning by getting up late; look upon it as the quintessence of life, as to a certain extent sacred.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer

“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”
– Robert Orben

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.”
– Karen Lamb

Short Good Morning Quotes for Love (Romantic Messages for Her or Him)

“Just one look at you, and I know it’s gonna be a lovely day.”
– Bill Withers

“The best feeling in the world is to know that you belong to me and you are mine. Every morning that is all I need to know, and that itself is enough for me to have a good day.”
– Joseph Moran

“Every day, I want to sleep in your arms and wake up by your side in the mornings.”
– Jagdish Joghee

“Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.”
– Emily Dickinson

“Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I’ll be happy for the rest of my little life.”
– Charlotte Eriksson

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.”
– Nicholas Sparks

“When the sun came up… I couldn’t tell where heaven stopped and the Earth began.”
– Tom Hanks

“What is love? It is the morning and the evening star.”
– Sinclair Lewis

“You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love…I love…I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”
– Mr Darcy (from the book Pride and Prejudice)

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”
– Khalil Gibran

“For each new morning, let there be flow of love. Let there be light of happiness in every direction.”
– Amit Ray

“Over everything, I choose you.”
– Marissa Meyer

“The next morning dawned bright and sweet, like ribbon candy.”
– Sarah Addison Allen

“In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.”
– Maya Angelou

Funny and Short Good Morning Quotes

“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.”
– Jim Davis

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
– Robert Frost

“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
– Kristen Chandler

“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”
– Mindy Kaling

“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
– Tony Smite

“I have always disliked the morning, it is too responsible a time.”
– Janet Frame

“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
– Glen Cook

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.”
– Groucho Marx

“Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.”
– Nanea Hoffman

“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”
– Lewis Black

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
– Dorothy Parker

“Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don’t do it.”
– Mitch Hedburg

“Morning will come. It has no choice.”
– Marty Rubin

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
– Winston Churchill

“I need to get up; my coffee needs me.”
– Unknown

“Getting up early is the first step in the wrong direction.”
– Unknown

“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
– Punit Ghadge

“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.”
– Robert Heinlein

“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
– David Lynch

“Be the person that when your feet touch the floor in the morning the devil says, ‘Awe s***, they’re up.’”
– Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

“Today is a new day. It’s a day you have never seen before and will never see again. Stop telling yourself the ‘same crap, different day’ lie!”
– Steve Maraboli

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

“The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.”
– Jean Kerr

Short, Deep and Beautiful Good Morning Quotes

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
– Confucius

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
– Maria Robinson

“No matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.”
– Lupita Nyong’o

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You realize that you control your own destiny.”
– Albert Ellis

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.”
– Anatole France

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
– Wayne Dyer

“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.”
– Les Brown

“If one advances confidently in the direction of one’s dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”
– Earl Nightingale

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.”
– Soren Kierkegaard

“Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths.”
– Drew Barrymore

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
– Winston Churchill

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
– Albert Camus

“It is a serious thing – just to be alive – on this fresh morning – in this broken world.”
– Mary Oliver

“It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.”
– Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
– Kahlil Gibran

“There is a morning inside you waiting to burst open into light.”
– Rumi

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
– George Eliot

Short, Unique and Meaningful Good Morning Quotes

“When you do something beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle, and yet most of the audience still sleeps.”
– John Lennon

“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.”
– Larry King

“As we arise each morning, let us determine to respond with love and kindness to whatever might come our way.”
– Thomas S. Monson

“Start early to get ahead.”
– Mark Twain

“Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them.”
– William Arthur Ward

“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time.”
– Andrew Matthews

“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.”
– Maxwell Maltz

“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.”
– Arnold H. Glasgow

“If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”
– Zig Ziglar

“The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”
– Dale Carnegie

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”
– Wayne Dyer

“If life were predictable, it would cease to be life and be without flavor.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“First thing every morning before you arise, say out loud, ‘I believe,’ three times.”
– Ovid

“Every morning, I wake up saying, ‘I’m still alive, a miracle.’ And so I keep on pushing.”
– Jim Carrey

“I like freedom. I wake up in the morning and say, ‘I don’t know, should I have a popsicle or a donut?’ You know, who knows?”
– Oscar Nunez

“The morning is good because we have seen the light, and life and peace.”
– Baal Shem Tov

“How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give ’em.”
– Shel Silverstein

“The morning shines upon everyone the same. Its beauty comes from the fact that we all take in the same beauty.”
– Juansen Dizon

“Every morning a new sun greets us, and our new life begins.”
– Marty Rubin

“Every day I feel is a blessing from God. And I consider it a new beginning. Yeah, everything is beautiful.”
– Prince

“Wake up each day and live as if it were your last.”
– Hal Erod

“Rise above the storm, and you will find the sunshine.”
– Unknown

“Wake up every morning with the thought that something wonderful is about to happen.”
– Lisa Lieberman-Wang

“The world is new to us every morning – and every man should believe he is reborn each day.”
– Baal Shem Tov

“Every sunrise is an invitation for us to arise and brighten someone’s day.”
– Richelle E. Goodrich

“The morning is good because we remember that no matter what went wrong the previous days, we just got a perfect opportunity to rewrite history and do better.”
– Unknown

“Every morning is a fresh start. Wake up with a grateful heart.”
– Kristen Butler

Want more inspiration and motivation for your morning and day? Then check out these inspirational good morning quotes, the positive quotes for life in this post and the short happy quotes here. Plus, this one filled with hard work quotes and also this post with lots of hilarious work quotes.

Coffee is truly a special thing.

It helps us wake up and once again feel human and (at least a bit) energetic. It’s always providing a good reason to take a break.

And it brings us together at work, in coffee shops and cafes and in our homes.

So in today’s post I’d like to share 101 of the most timeless, beautiful and funny short coffee quotes.

I hope you’ll find something here that makes you laugh and releases a bit of stress, that gives you a boost of energy and simply helps you appreciate this magical beverage a little extra.

Short Funny Coffee Quotes to Start Your Morning with a Laugh

“Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.”
– Nanea Hoffman

“Wanna hear a joke? Decaf.”
– Unknown

“Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline – the first often tasting like the second.”
– Edward Abbey

“I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.”
– Clark Gable

“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.”
– Flash Rosenberg

“I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.”
– Burt Lancaster

“You make good coffee… you’re a slob, but you make good coffee.”
– Cher

“I don’t drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.”
– Unknown

“Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.”
– Alphonse Allais

“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.”
– Ronald Reagan

“The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.”
– Unknown

“Decaf coffee only works if you throw it at people.”
– Unknown

“Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”
– David Letterman

“Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.”
– J.S. Bach

“It’s strange how drinking cups of water seems impossible, but 8 cups of coffee go down like a chubby kid on a see-saw.”
– Unknown

“Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It’s called sleeping.”
– Unknown

“If it wasn’t for coffee, I’d have no discernible personality at all.”
– David Letterman

“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”
– Steven Wright

“Coffee in England is just toasted milk.”
– Christopher Fry

“I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Bailey’s straight, but I’ll get used to it.”
– Megan Mullally

“Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee and you start to sneeze?”
– Jean Kerr

Timeless and Short Coffee Quotes for Your Instagram and Letter Board

“Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.”
– Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

“Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.”
– Thomas Jefferson

“Life’s too short for bad coffee.”
– Gord Downie

“Coffee first. Schemes later.”
– Leanna Renee Hieber

“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.”
– T.S. Eliot

“Humanity runs on coffee.”
– Unknown

“My birthstone is a coffee bean.”
– Unknown

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”
– Cassandra Clare

“May your coffee kick in before reality does.”
– Unknown

“Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.”
– Stephanie Piro

“I want someone to look at me the way I look at coffee.”
– Unknown

“Coffee is a language in itself.”
– Jackie Chan

“I like my coffee like I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you.”
– Jac Vanek

“I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.”
– Napoleon Bonaparte

“A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it.”
– Unknown

“No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for ‘Before Coffee.’”
– Cherise Sinclair

“Love is in the air, and it smells like coffee.”
– Unknown

“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”
– Unknown

“Coffee connects us in so many ways – to each other, to our senses, and to the earth that supports the coffee trees.”
– Rohan Marley

“Coffee is the common man’s gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility.”
– Sheik Abd Al Kadir

“But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
– David Lynch

Short Coffee Quotes to Help You Have a Positive Day at Work

“We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”
– Dave Barry

“Given enough coffee I could rule the world.”
– Unknown

“Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”
– Earl Wilson

“The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he drinks.”
– Sir James MacKintosh

“Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.”
– Unknown

“What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.”
– Henry Rollins

“Coffee, because adulting is hard.”
– Unknown

“I believe humans get a lot done, especially in the afternoons, not because of will or motivation but because of the black magic that is coffee.”
– Bob Simmons

“Politics now is rather like going into Starbucks for a coffee.”
– Rory Bremner

“Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.”
– Bill Gates

“I need that first cup of coffee before any meetings, any calls and often before putting a sentence together.”
– Sandra Shea

“A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.”
– Paul Erdos

“Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes.”
– Alexander Pope

“Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.”
– Jonathan Swift

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?”
– Steven Wright

“Compared to Clinton, I feel like a loser. I can’t even get the intern to make me coffee!”
– David Letterman

“I like instant gratification. It’s like instant Coffee, only it won’t keep you up all night.”
– Jarod Kintz

Aesthetic and Inspirational Short Coffee Quotes

“I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.”
– Abigail Reynolds

“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.”
– Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.”
– Jessi Lane Adams

“It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.”
– Donna A. Favors

“Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self.”
– Terry Pratchett

“My dream is to have a house on the beach, even just a little shack somewhere so I can wake up, have coffee, look at dolphins, be quiet and breathe the air.”
– Christina Applegate

“There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee.”
– Rian Aditia

“All my days begin the same. A black cup of coffee. A little quiet time just watching the clouds. Then work.”
– Alice Jones

“To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.”
– Hugh Jackman

“I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.”
– Terri Guillemets

“Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.”
– Terri Guillemets

“He was my cream, and I was his coffee. And when you poured us together, it was something.”
– Josephine Baker

“Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A cup of gourmet coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent.”
– Unknown

“We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. Trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.”
– Unknown

“Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.”
– Fran Drescher

“Adventure in life is good. Consistency in coffee even better.”
– Justina Headley

“I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, ‘Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.’”
– Jim Carrey

“I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.”
– John Van Druten

“Three cups of coffee a day keeps the doctor away!”
– Henry Rollins

“No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.”
– Sheik Abd-al-Kabir

“What on Earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book and a cup of coffee?”
– Anthony Trollope

Short, Witty and Cute Coffee Lover Quotes

“Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants.”
– Nanea Hoffman

“I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.”
– Unknown

“Coffee and chocolate – the inventor of mocha should be sainted.”
– Cherise Sinclair

“My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.”
– Unknown

“Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.”
– Captain Janeway (from the TV-show Star Trek: Voyager)

“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”
– Louisa May Alcott

“Caffeine and sugar, the two basic food groups.”
– Laurell K. Hamilton

“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”
– Albert Camus

“Coffee is a big part of my life.”
– Taylor Swift

“I want someone to look at me the way I look at coffee.”
– Unknown

“If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.”
– Mae West

“Just coffee. Black – like my soul.”
– Cassandra Clare

“Doctors found traces of blood in my coffee stream.”
– Unknown

“Deja Brew: The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before.”
– Unknown

“I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge.”
– Jennifer Lopez

“If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away.”
– Unknown

“The road to success is paved in coffee. Buckets of the stuff.”
– Sam Williams

“I can’t imagine a day without coffee. I can’t imagine!”
– Howard Schultz

“To make me happy: Make me coffee, bring me coffee, be coffee… coffee.”
– Unknown

Want more inspiration for your morning? Then have a look at these short good morning quotes, the motivational teamwork quotes in this post and also these positive quotes for a great morning and day.

Coffee.

Something more like a magic potion on many mornings that can help us to step out of that grumpy and tired morning state and into feeling like you can take on the day.

And to celebrate how coffee keeps the world going I’d like to share 110 of the most witty, inspirational and laugh out loud funny coffee quotes.

Share your favorites with fellow coffee lovers via group chats or Instagram and use them yourself in the morning or whenever you feel tired or overwhelmed for some quick laughs and stress relief.

Funny Coffee Quotes to Start Your Morning Right

“Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants.”
– Nanea Hoffman

“I don’t drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.”
– Unknown

“Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.”
– J.S. Bach

“Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.”
– Stephanie Piro

“Coffee, because adulting is hard.”
– Unknown

“I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.”
– Terri Guillemets

“I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.”
– Clark Gable

“Coffee first. Schemes later.”
– Leanna Renee Hieber

“Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.”
– Terri Guillemets

“May your coffee kick in before reality does.”
– Unknown

“Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.”
– Jessi Lane Adams

“My birthstone is a coffee bean.”
– Unknown

“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”
– Louisa May Alcott

“I want someone to look at me the way I look at coffee.”
– Unknown

“Life’s too short for bad coffee.”
– Gord Downie

“Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.”
– Nanea Hoffman

“My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.”
– Unknown

“Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes.”
– Alexander Pope

“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.”
– Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“Coffee is a language in itself.”
– Jackie Chan

“Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.”
– Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

Short and Funny Coffee Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

“Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It’s called sleeping.”
– Unknown

“What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.”
– Henry Rollins

“Seven days without coffee makes one WEAK.”
– Unknown

“Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.”
– Alphonse Allais

“Decaf? No, it’s dangerous to dilute my caffeine.”
– Unknown

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
– David Lynch

“I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.”
– Burt Lancaster

“You make good coffee… you’re a slob, but you make good coffee.”
– Cher

“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.”
– Ronald Reagan

“I like my coffee like I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you.”
– Jac Vanek

“I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.”
– Napoleon Bonaparte

“Wanna hear a joke? Decaf.”
– Unknown

“Decaf coffee only works if you throw it at people.”
– Unknown

“Coffee in England is just toasted milk.”
– Christopher Fry

“The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.”
– Unknown

“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”
– Unknown

“Three cups of coffee a day keeps the doctor away!”
– Henry Rollins

“I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge.”
– Jennifer Lopez

“I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.”
– John Van Druten

“I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up all night.”
– Jarod Kintz

“Caffeine and sugar, the two basic food groups.”
– Laurell K. Hamilton

Funny Coffee Quotes for a Positive and Less Stressful Day at Work

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”
– Dave Barry

“We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline – the first often tasting like the second.”
– Edward Abbey

“Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster with more energy.”
– Unknown

“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”
– Lewis Blake

“Given enough coffee I could rule the world.”
– Unknown

“Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”
– Earl Wilson

“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.”
– Flash Rosenberg

“Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”
– David Letterman

“The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he drinks.”
– Sir James MacKintosh

“A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.”
– Paul Erdos

“No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for ‘Before Coffee.’”
– Cherise Sinclair

“Compared to Clinton, I feel like a loser. I can’t even get the intern to make me coffee!”
– David Letterman

“Coffee – creative lighter fluid.”
– Floyd Maxwell

“Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?”
– Jean Kerr

“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”
– Steven Wright

“The road to success is paved in coffee.”
– Unknown

“Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?”
– Steven Wright

“Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.”
– Unknown

“I’m going to start measuring the complexity of coding tasks in coffee cups. ‘This was a five-espresso algorithm.’”
– Unknown

“Politics now is rather like going into Starbucks for a coffee.”
– Rory Bremner

“Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.”
– Fran Drescher

Less Funny and More Inspirational Coffee Quotes

“Coffee is the common man’s gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility.”
– Sheik Abd Al Kadir

“I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, ‘Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.’”
– Jim Carrey

“Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self.”
– Terry Pratchett

“Coffee is a balm for the heart and spirit.”
– Giuseppe Verdi

“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.”
– T.S. Eliot

“He was my cream, and I was his coffee. And when you poured us together, it was something.”
– Josephine Baker

“Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.”
– Thomas Jefferson

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”
– Cassandra Clare

“To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.”
– Hugh Jackman

“It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.”
– Donna A. Favors

“Coffee connects us in so many ways – to each other, to our senses, and to the earth that supports the coffee trees.”
– Rohan Marley

“I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.”
– Abigail Reynolds

“What on Earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book and a cup of coffee?”
– Anthony Trollope

“Coffee is a lot more than just a drink; it’s something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself.”
– Gertrude Stein

“Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart in nearly every great crisis – a good hot cup of coffee.”
– Alexander King

“Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.”
– Jonathan Swift

“Love is in the air, and it smells like coffee.”
– Unknown

“Adventure in life is good. Consistency in coffee even better.”
– Justina Headley

“We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. Trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.”
– Unknown

“The best Maxim I know in this life is, to drink your Coffee when you can, and when you cannot, to be easy without it.”
– Jonathan Swift

“No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.”
– Sheik Abd-al-Kabir

“When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.”
– Helen Hayes

Hilarious Coffee Quotes for Your Instagram and Letter Board

“Life without coffee is like something without something… sorry, I haven’t had any coffee yet.”
– Unknown

“I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Bailey’s straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up.”
– Megan Mullally

“If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away.”
– Unknown

“I don’t know what I’d do without coffee. I’m guessing 25 to life.”
– Unknown

“Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’”
– Conan O’Brien

“Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee.”
– Unknown

“The more complicated the order, the bigger the a—hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a ‘decaf grande half soy half lowfat iced vanilla double-shot gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet ‘n Low and one Nutra Sweet’… Ooooh, you are a huge a—hole.”
– George Carlin

“Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.”
– Bill Gates

“It’s strange how drinking cups of water seems impossible, but 8 cups of coffee go down like a chubby kid on a see-saw.”
– Unknown

“To make me happy: Make me coffee, bring me coffee, be coffee…coffee.”
– Unknown

“Drinking beer in a coffee mug. I feel like I am cheating on my coffee.”
– Unknown

“Coffee make me real human. Coffee good.”
– Sandra Shea

“Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.”
– Unknown

“Just coffee. Black – like my soul.”
– Cassandra Clare

“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”
– Albert Camus

“Doctors found traces of blood in my coffee stream.”
– Unknown

“Deja Brew: The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before.”
– Unknown

“I am a coffee fanatic. Once you go to proper coffee, you can’t go back. You cannot go back.” Hugh Laurie

“Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat, it exists, but that doesn’t make it right.”
– Unknown

“Good coffee – cheaper than Prozac!”
– Unknown

“Coffee! Wait, is the planet shaking or is it just me?”
– Bob Simmons

Want more laughs and motivation for your morning? Then check out these funny good morning quotes, the hilarious work quotes here and also this one with inspirational morning quotes.