Katy Perry is marking the one-year anniversary of her album 143.

The singer, 40, took to Instagram on Monday, September 22, to share several behind-the-scenes photos and videos, as well as a heartfelt letter to her fans.

“1 year ago, 143 came out and I took the weekend to reflect,” Perry wrote in a lengthy caption. “Records are snapshots of an artist trying to tell their story of where they are now or have been, and hope someone will hear themselves in some of the messages. 143 to me was literally me saying I love you to my fans. Looking back now, I realize it has been all about reconnecting to my fans through these songs and through this wonderful tour that has given me the opportunity to see so many of you again and for the first time.”

Perry continued, “I am so proud of the community we are and growing to become. History is important, we learn from history, we are reminded of how to and what not to do when we look back. We celebrate the wins and reflect on the losses. All of it is valuable. Let’s hope we get to evolve together for years to come and at the end of it all be proud and at peace with how we tried our best in this imperfect world.”

Perry said she’s “proud that I keep on swinging,” and reflected on the ups and downs of her long journey making pop music.

“Through my years in the spotlight, I have been beloved, tested and tried,” she said, adding, “I am blessed to know that there’s always two sides to each coin, and I learn that even when I hit tails, somehow through it all, I keep making my wishes.”

She added that her best friend had given her a “framed 19th century book called What Katy Did Next. I’ve never read it, but the title has always stuck with me. That’s the point — it’s about continuing to move forward, and dream.”

In conclusion, Perry stated, “Whatever comes next, I’m letting it unfold naturally. No forcing, no controlling — just trusting the angels, the fans, and the music to guide me where I’m meant to go. Please know this: my love for you is unconditional, and I couldn’t do any of this without you.”

Perry, who recently split from ex Orlando Bloom and has been quietly seeing former Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau, will take her globe-trotting Lifetimes Tour to Europe next month. 

If somebody is working on themselves and changing for the better, it’s unnecessary to keep bringing up their past. People can change and grow. You know that’s true. But have you given yourself a fair chance to change and grow, too?

Have you loosened your grip on what’s behind you, so you can step forward?

If you’re shaking your head, you aren’t alone. At times we all fall victim to our attachments. We simply don’t realize how often we block our own present blessings by holding on to everything so tightly.

Thus, it’s time for a quick true story about life and letting go…

When Our Old Stories Hold Us Back

She rarely makes eye contact. Instead, she looks down at the ground. Because the ground is safer. Because unlike people, it expects nothing in return. She doesn’t have to feel ashamed about her past. The ground just accepts her for who she is right now.

As she sits at the bar next to me, she stares down at her vodka tonic, and then the ground, and then her vodka tonic. “Most people don’t get me,” she says. “They ask me questions like, ‘What’s your problem?’ or ‘Were you beaten as a child?’ But I never respond. Because I don’t feel like explaining myself. And I don’t think they really care anyway.”

Just then, a young man sits down at the bar on the opposite side of her. He’s a little drunk and says, “You’re pretty. May I buy you a drink?” She stays silent and looks back down at the ground. After an awkward moment, he accepts the rejection, gets up, and walks away.

“Would you prefer that I leave too?” I ask. “No,” she says without glancing upward. “But I could use some fresh air. You don’t have to come, but you can if you want to.” I follow her outside and we sit on a street curb in front of the bar.

“Brrr… it’s a really chilly night!”

“Tell me about it,” she says while maintaining her usual downward gaze. The warm vapor from her breath cuts through the cold air and bounces off of the ground in front of her. “So why are you out here with me? I mean, wouldn’t you rather be inside in the warmth, talking to normal people about normal things?”

“I’m out here because I want to be. Because I’m not normal. And look, I can see my breath, and we’re in San Diego. That’s not normal either. Oh, and you’re wearing old Airwalk sneakers, and so am I — which may have been normal in 1994, but not anymore.”

She glances up at me and smirks, this time exhaling her breath upward into the moonlight. “I see you’re wearing a ring. You’re married, right?”

“Yeah,” I reply. “My wife, Angel, is just getting off work now and heading here to meet me for dinner.”

She nods her head and then looks back at the ground. “Well, you’re off the market… and safe, I guess. So can I tell you a story?”

“I’m listening.”

As she speaks, her emotional gaze shifts from the ground, to my eyes, to the moonlit sky, to the ground, and back to my eyes again. This rotation continues in a loop for the duration of her story. And every time her eyes meet mine she holds them there for a few seconds longer than she did on the previous rotation.

I don’t interject once. I listen to every word. And I assimilate the raw emotion present in the tone of her voice and in the depth of her eyes.

When she finishes, she says, “Well, now you know my story. You think I’m a freak, don’t you?”

“Place your right hand on your chest,” I tell her. She does. “Do you feel something?” I ask.

“Yeah, I feel my heartbeat.”

“Now close your eyes, place both your hands on your face, and move them around slowly.” She does. “What do you feel now?” I ask.

“Well, I feel my eyes, my nose, my mouth… I feel my face.”

“That’s right,” I reply. “But unlike you, stories don’t have heartbeats, and they don’t have faces. Because stories are not alive — they’re not people. They’re just stories.”

She stares into my eyes for a prolonged moment, smiles sincerely and says, “Just stories we live through.”

“Yeah… And stories we learn from.”

Hard Lessons We Slowly Learn by Letting Go

The woman from the story above became one of our very first students when Angel and I opened the doors to the original version of the Getting Back to Happy course a decade ago, and she’s now a friend of ours too. She has learned and applied many remarkable lessons over the years that ultimately allowed her to let go of her difficult past — her story — and move forward with her life. And last night I sat down with her over a cup of tea and had an in-depth, soul-centered conversation about what she has learned over the years. I’m sharing her story and lessons with you today, with permission, because I know we all struggle in similar ways…

Here are four hard, actionable lessons we discussed:

1. You can have a heartbreaking story from the past without letting it dominate your present life.

In the present moment we all have some kind of pain: anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, regret, etc.

Notice this pain within yourself, watch it closely, and see that it’s caused by whatever story you have in your head about what happened in the past (either in the recent past or in the distant past). Your mind might insist that the pain you feel is caused by what happened (not by the story in your head about it), but what happened in the past is NOT happening right now. It’s over. It has passed. But the pain is still happening right now because of the story you’ve been subconsciously telling yourself about that past incident.

Note that “story” does not mean “fake story.” It also does not mean “true story.” The word “story” in the context of your self-evaluation doesn’t have to imply true or false, positive or negative, or any other kind of forceful judgment call. It’s simply a process that’s happening inside your head:

• You are remembering something that happened.
• You subconsciously perceive yourself as a victim of this incident.
• Your memory of what happened causes a strong emotion in you.

So just notice what story you have, without judging it, and without judging yourself. It’s natural to have a story; we all have stories. See yours for what it is. And see that it’s causing you pain. Then take a deep breath, and another…

Inner peace begins the moment you take these deep breaths and choose not to allow the past to dominate your present thoughts and emotions. (Note: Angel and I discuss this process in more detail in the “Happiness” chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently” and throughout the guided journal, “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts & Reflections to Start Every Day”.)

2. A big part of letting go is simply realizing there’s nothing to hold on to in the first place.

All of the things from our past that we desperately try to hold on to, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there. Or if they are there in some form, they’re changing, fluid, impermanent, or simply imagined storylines in our minds.

Life gets a lot easier to deal with the moment we understand this.

Imagine you’re blindfolded and treading water in the center of a large swimming pool, and you’re struggling desperately to grab the edge of the pool that you think is nearby, but really it’s not—it’s far away. Trying to grab that imaginary edge is stressing you out, and tiring you out, as you splash around aimlessly trying to holding on to something that isn’t there.

Now imagine you pause, take a deep breath, and realize that there’s nothing nearby to hold on to. Just water around you. You can continue to struggle with grabbing at something that doesn’t exist… or you can accept that there’s only water around you, and relax, and float.

Today I challenge you to ask yourself:

• What’s something from the past that you are still desperately trying to hold on to?
• How is it affecting you in the present?

Then imagine the thing you’re trying to hold on to doesn’t really exist. Envision yourself letting go… and just floating.

How might that change your life from this moment forward?

3. The subtle pain you continue to feel can be healed through compassion for those suffering alongside you.

When we’re still working through a painful experience from the past, it’s easy to feel like we’re going through it alone — like no one else could possibly understand how we feel. In a way, we subconsciously place ourselves at the center of the universe, and see everything that happened exclusively from the viewpoint of how it affects us personally, without regard for anyone else. But as we grow through our pain and gradually broaden our horizons, we begin to see that our self-centered thinking is only fueling our misery. And we realize that shifting our focus onto others for a while can help.

It’s one of life’s great paradoxes: when we serve others, we end up benefiting as much if not more than those we serve. So whenever you feel pain from the past trying to suck you back in, shift your focus from your circumstances to the circumstances of those near and far.

The simplest way of doing this at any given moment?

Practice letting your breath be an anchor for global healing. Breathe in whatever painful feeling you’re feeling, and breathe out relief from that pain for everyone in the world who is suffering alongside you. For example:

• If you’re feeling grief, breathe in all the grief of the world… then breathe out peace.
• If you’re feeling anger, breathe in all the anger of the world… then breathe out forgiveness.
• If you’re feeling regretful, breathe in all the regret of the world… then breathe out gratitude for the good times.

Do this for a minute or two as often as you need to, imagining all the pain of those near and far coming in with each breath, and then a feeling of compassion and reconciliation radiating out to all of those who are in pain as you breathe out. Instead of running from your past and the pain it caused you, you’re embracing it… you’re letting yourself absorb it. And you’re thinking of others as well, which gets you out of that miserable, self-centered mindset trap.

4. There is always, always, always something to be grateful for.

Even when your past — your story — tries to pull you back in, you can consciously do your best to focus on your present blessings. What do you see in your life right now? Be thankful for the good parts. For your health, your family, your friends, or your home. Many people don’t have these things.

Remind yourself that the richest human is rarely the one who has the most, but the one who needs less. Wealth is a daily mindset. Want less and appreciate more today. Easier said than done of course, but with practice gratitude does get easier. And as you practice, you transform your past struggles into present moments of freedom.

Ultimately, on the average day, happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is. So at the end of this day, before you close your eyes, be at peace with where you’ve been and grateful for what you have right now. Life has goodness.

Now it’s your turn…

Again, the lessons above take practice to fully grasp in real time. So just do your best to bring awareness to this gradually — to practice — so you can let go one day at a time. Keep reminding yourself…

• You are not your bad days
• You are not your mistakes
• You are not your scars
• You are not your past

Be here now and breathe.

And before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Be OK with walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject what’s not right for you.

As you look back on your life, you will realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected by someone or something you wanted, you were in fact being redirected to someone or something you needed. Seeing this when you’re in the midst of feeling rejected, however, is quite tough. I know because I’ve been there…

As soon as someone critiques, criticizes, and pushes you away — as soon as you are rejected — you find yourself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I’m not worthy.” What you need to realize is, the other person or situation is not worthy of you and your particular journey.

Rejection is oftentimes necessary medicine; it teaches you how to let go of relationships and opportunities that aren’t going to work, so that you can find the right ones that will. It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it just means someone else failed to notice what you have to offer. Which means you now have more time to improve yourself and explore your options.

Will you be bitter for a moment? Absolutely. Hurt? Of course — you’re human. There isn’t a soul on this planet that doesn’t feel a small fraction of their heart break at the realization of rejection. For a short time afterward you will ask yourself every question you can think of:

• What did I do wrong?
• Why didn’t they care about me?
• How come?

But then you have to let your emotions fuel you in a positive way. This is the important part. Let your feelings of rejection drive you, feed you, and inspire you to turn a new page in your life.

Honestly, if you constantly feel like someone is not treating you with respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you’ve subconsciously marked yourself down. Because it’s you who gradually tells others what you’re worth by showing them what you’re willing to accept for your time and attention on a daily basis. So get off the clearance rack! And I mean right NOW! If you don’t value and respect yourself, with grace, no one else will either.

I know it’s hard to accept sometimes, but think about it: All too often we let the rejections of our past dictate the moves we make in the present. We literally do not know ourselves to be any better than what some intolerant person or isolated circumstance once told us was true. It’s time to realize this and squash the subconscious idea that we don’t deserve any better!

So do your best to remember that…

1. Taking a few steps back can be healing.

The person you liked, loved or respected in the past, who treated you like dirt again and again, probably has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you in the present moment, but more headaches and heartache.

2. It’s necessary to accept the things that can’t be changed.

One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is when you finally find the strength and courage to let go of what you can’t change, like someone else’s behavior or decisions.

3. It’s not the end of the world.

No, it’s really not the end — it’s never the end of the world — and yet rejection can make the loss of someone or something you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut-wrenching and world-ending.

4. Some things simply aren’t meant to be.

There’s a time and place for everything, and every step is necessary. You will never miss out on what is truly meant for you, even if it has to come to you in a roundabout way. So stay focused and be positive about the next step. Just keep doing your best right now, and don’t force what’s not yet supposed to fit into your life.

5. Sometimes you have to fall down to move up in life.

Life ebbs and flows, and sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller and emotionally stronger than you ever were before. (Note: Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Adversity chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

6. There is a gift hidden in most rejections.

When you lose someone or something, try not to think of it as a loss, but as a gift that lightens your load so that you can better travel the path meant for you.

7. There are more great opportunities coming your way.

Life and God both have greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or believing that you’re broken. You are not! Eventually you will end up where you need to be, doing the right things, alongside the right people. Patience is the key. And remember, patience is not about waiting, it’s the ability to maintain a positive outlook right now while you gradually move forward to explore the opportunities in front of you.

8. You are worthy of so much more.

Sometimes people don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing them. And sometimes the more chances you give, the more respect you lose. Enough is enough! Perhaps it’s not rejection that’s the problem, but the fact that your boundaries were set too low. Never let people get comfortable with disrespecting you. You deserve better. You deserve to be with those who make you smile, those who don’t take you for granted, those who don’t constantly leave you hanging.

9. You don’t need any more closure to move forward.

Some chapters in our lives have to close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.

10. You have the power to not let them get to you.

Inner peace begins the moment you take a deep breath and choose not to allow another person or event to dominate your thoughts. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become in this moment. Let go, breathe, and begin again.

11. It’s rarely as personal as it feels.

You really can’t take things other people say about you too personally. Most of what they think and say is a reflection of them, not of you. And remember that you simply don’t need to attend every argument you’re invited to, especially when your sense of self-worth is on the line.

12. Most people don’t know you well enough to judge you fairly.

Ninety-nine percent of the rejections you receive from people aren’t actually that important in the grand scheme of things, because most people don’t even know you that well. So don’t let their opinions conquer you. Seriously, most of us do not understand how much potential we have — we limit ourselves to the level someone else told us was possible.

13. You can build yourself up with this experience.

In life, some people are always going to throw bricks at other people, and those with the strength to succeed in the long run are usually the ones who build themselves up with the bricks others have thrown at them.

14. You are more resilient than you give yourself credit for.

Let your scars remind you that the surface level damage someone has inflicted on you has left you smarter and more resilient. When you look back on those scars, don’t think of the pain you felt; think of the strength you gained, and appreciate how far you’ve come. You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve grown a lot too. Give yourself credit for your resilience and step forward again with grace.

15. You are likely undervaluing your uniqueness right now.

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. Don’t be one of them. Dare to be yourself — your best and unique self — however awkward, different, or odd that self may prove to be to someone else.

16. Even though it’s hard right now, you’ve got this!

Comparing your situation too closely with others, or other people’s perceptions, only undermines your worth, your education, and your own inner wisdom. No one can handle your present situation better than you.

17. Putting your whole heart and soul into today’s tasks is key.

The more we fill our lives with genuine passion and purpose, the less time and energy we waste looking for approval from everyone else.

18. You are in control of the way you look at your situation.

You can use your struggles, frustrations, and rejections to motivate you rather than annoy you. Yes, you are in control of the way you look at life. (Note: Journaling is a great tool for fostering this kind of perspective shift — check out “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts & Reflections to Start Every Day”.)

19. Every storm eventually passes.

You may not be responsible for everything that happened to you in the past, or everything that’s happening to you right now, but you need to be responsible for undoing the thinking and behavioral patterns these uncontrollable circumstances try to create within you. So breathe deep and remind yourself that the most practical changes happen when you choose to take control of what you do have power over, instead of craving control of what you don’t. Again, it’s about letting go. Because you usually can’t calm the storm — what you can do is calm yourself and the storm will eventually pass.

20. Right now is truly a beginning.

Be strong enough to let go today, wise enough to move forward, diligent enough to work hard, and patient enough to wait for what you deserve. Practice accepting the fact that things will never again be what they once were, and that this ending is really an evolution, an transition… a new beginning that’s starting now.

It’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to be a daily beacon of hope to yourself — to remind yourself that your worth isn’t contingent on other people’s acceptance of you. You’re allowed to be yourself. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and enforce your boundaries. You’re allowed to hold on to the truth that who you are is more than enough. And you’re allowed to let go of situations in your life that obviously weren’t meant to be.

But before you go we would love to hear from YOU.

Which point mentioned above resonates with you the most right now?

Please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

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