The fear of failing can be more than nerves. Atychiphobia—an intense, persistent phobia of failure—often traces back to childhood experiences, perfectionism, or low self-esteem.

It can present as trembling hands, a pounding heart, and racing thoughts before a speech or interview. That “What if I fail?” loop fuels avoidance and a fear of making mistakes that can hold you back at work, in school, and in relationships.

The good news? You can use our guide to help overcome the fear of failure. Here you’ll gain a deeper understanding of atychiphobia and find practical, evidence-informed strategies to combat it. This includes major steps like setting flexible goals, reframing failure as feedback, and taking small, safe exposures.

What Is Atychiphobia?

Atychiphobia is an extreme, prolonged fear of failure. It’s different from the usual fear of failing and nervousness that anyone may feel in challenging situations. Instead, like other phobias, atychiphobia can often lead to noticeable physical symptoms.

Common symptoms include shortness of breath, increased heart rate, and butterflies in the stomach. Others may experience tightness in the chest, trembling, sweating, or nausea.

That said, you can have a persistent fear of failure with or without all these physical symptoms. The fear manifests itself in different intensities in different people, and the physiological signs are not always obvious.

Watch out for these behavioral and emotional signs that indicate you may be struggling with a fear of failure:

• Avoiding challenging tasks and opportunities: You may procrastinate or even completely avoid taking up challenging tasks you are not confident about.

• Worrying about the possible impacts of failure: You tend to amplify your fear by worrying about disappointing others, people losing interest in you, being judged and other impacts you think will follow your failure.

• Prophesying failure: You may repeatedly tell people that you are likely to fail in a situation, so they don’t get disappointed if you actually fail.

• Self-sabotaging: Since failing after putting in effort is painful, you may rather choose not to put in the effort, sabotaging your chances of success.

• Feeling helpless: The fear may make you feel helpless in challenging situations, as if nothing can save you from failing.

The physical signs may also accompany these emotional signs sometimes. Overall, the fear of failure can cause you to have a pessimistic outlook on your life and growth. 

Understanding the Fear of Failing and Where It Comes From

You can be persistently afraid of failure due to one or multiple causes. These may range from childhood and past experiences to perfectionist tendencies and social expectations. Here are some common causes of fear of failure: 

1. Childhood Conditioning

If you grew up in a household where setbacks and failures were met with disappointment, ridicule, shame and anger, you may continue to carry that conditioning into your adult life. You may fear failing because you don’t want to disappoint others. The thought of any mistake or failure, even a small one, may bring about a wave of self-criticism and disappointment.

2. Observational Learning

It’s also possible that you inherited a fear of failure from someone in your family. If, as a child, you were around people who intensely feared and couldn’t handle failure, you may have subconsciously adopted their behaviors growing up. Now you might procrastinate, avoid challenging tasks and sabotage your efforts. This could be because this is how you saw your parent or caregiver handling failure.

3. Negative Past Experiences with Failure

At times, a fear of failure might arise due to negative or traumatic memories. For example:

• You may fear public speaking as an adult because your classmates once bullied you for messing up a speech back in middle school. 

• You may fear failing in your career goals because years ago, you failed that entrance test to that dream college you had prepared so hard for.

• Perhaps you fear taking on challenges because the last time you did, you switched careers and later struggled to make ends meet for your family.

Such traumatic past experiences can linger on and trigger intense fear in specific areas of life.

4. Perfectionism

Sometimes, fear of failure may stem not from the prospect of failure but rather from a very high, often unrealistic expectation of success. If success for you means doing everything “perfectly,” everything else may appear as failure. Such perfectionist tendencies make you set unusually high standards. This may cause you to live with a constant underlying fear of failing to meet those standards and feel worthless if you don’t succeed on your terms.

5. Low Self-Esteem

A lack of self-esteem may directly give way to a fear of failure. If you don’t believe in yourself or your ability to succeed, you may constantly have a fear of failing at your endeavors. Any setback, big or small, can shake your confidence and self-worth.

Besides these common causes, your genetic history can also make you more prone to fear and anxiety. Regardless of the cause, though, atychiphobia can affect your life in many ways.

How a Phobia of Failure Can Hold You Back 

While many of us have some fear of making mistakes, a deeper phobia can greatly impact a person’s life. If left unchecked, atychiphobia can take a toll on a person’s personal growth, career, relationships and beyond. While it often hampers their ability to succeed, sometimes it may make them live with fear and anxiety even as they keep succeeding in life. 

Let’s look at some of the ways a phobia of failure can impact your life:

• Poor performance: Tendencies like procrastination, avoidance and self-sabotage that often stem from fear of failure can stop you from trying your best in your studies or career. As a result, your academic or professional performance gets hindered and productivity remains low.

• Reduced motivation: When you fear making mistakes and failing, you also lose much of the motivation to try new things that may come with risks. You’d rather play it safe and avoid new experiences.

• Difficulty in relationships: Fear of failure can affect your ability to form and sustain healthy relationships. You may feel so afraid of rejection or getting hurt that you avoid commitments. You might adopt an avoidant attachment style.

• Physiological effects: Along with its unique impacts, fear of failure can also have the typical physiological effects of phobias over a long time. Long-term fear and the resulting stress can lead to high blood pressure, sleeping issues and increased chances of cardiovascular diseases.

How to Get Over a Fear of Failure 

A persistent, nagging fear of failure may bring much chaos to your thoughts and life. But the good news is that it’s possible to manage your fear with consistent efforts. Try these seven actionable strategies to overcome your fear of failure:

1. Set Realistic and Flexible Goals

If you are a perfectionist, tweaking your definition of success could help you overcome your fear of failure. Remember that while it’s commendable to reach the high standards you may have set for yourself, not getting there isn’t necessarily failure. 

Yes, it can feel disappointing to fall short of your goals. But a goal is incomplete if it doesn’t leave room for failure. So, instead of setting extremely high, hard-and-fast goals, dial back a little and try setting more realistic and flexible goals.  

2. Counter Your Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts fuel fear, anxiety and pessimism. Be aware of such thoughts and ask yourself if you have a logical or factual reason to think that way. If the answer is no, try rephrasing that thought into something positive. For example:

• “I am going to fail.” → “I’ll either succeed or learn something.”
• “This is too challenging.” → “I will try my best anyway.”
• “If I fail, I am a failure.” → “Even if I fail now, I can grow and succeed later.”

If self-help isn’t enough, you can also talk to close friends or others who support you. They can give your negative thoughts a reality check and keep you grounded. 

3. Analyze the Worst-Case Scenario

One of the best ways to deal with fear is to face it head-on. This is different than entertaining negative thoughts. Instead of fearing what will happen if you fail, consider the situation. Analyze that possibility based on facts and logic. What exactly are you afraid of? How will it affect you? What can you practically do if things go south?

You can prepare a backup plan of action if you can. But no pressure; even just addressing the source of your fear can help ease the tension. You can also try writing your fears down on paper, as it can significantly help declutter your head.

4. Remember a Positive Past Experience

If your fear of failure is persistent, chances are you have felt this fear before in a situation that later turned out to be a success. Thinking about such positive past experiences can remind you that your fear—however dreadful or serious it may seem—isn’t always reliable. More importantly, it will remind you that you have faced and survived this fear before and, therefore, can survive it again.

5. Reframe Failure as Feedback

Failure is not something unnatural or wrong; it’s integral to growth and success. Instead of trying to avoid failure all the time (spoiler: you can’t), accept that it is normal. Reframe your idea of failure from an unwanted outcome to an integral part of life. Use failure as feedback to improve while also embracing the fact that you can’t entirely control the results.

6. Normalize and Validate Your Fear

Sometimes, what you fear may not be failure itself but the feeling of fear. After all, fear never feels pleasant, and you may want to avoid feeling it in the first place. However, avoiding or fearing this fear only makes handling it more difficult.

Fear is an emotion. Like all emotions, it’s meant to be felt. Instead of trying to escape or fight it, accept it. Normalize negative emotions like fear and anxiety. Remember that they are as natural as happiness and excitement. They can also coexist with confidence. You don’t have to work around your fear, but through it.

7. Embrace a Growth Mindset

In 2006, researcher and psychologist Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed and growth mindsets in her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. While a fixed mindset stems from the belief that your abilities are fixed and unchangeable, a growth mindset leans towards constant improvement and learning with time and effort.

If you often find yourself ruminating over your failures, shifting to a growth mindset can help you be more resilient and adaptable. The key is to embrace challenges and start seeing failures as stepping stones (not roadblocks), while also being more comfortable when things don’t go the way you planned. 

When to Seek Support for Atychiphobia 

The strategies above can help you overcome your fear of failure. However, if the fear is making it difficult to go through your daily life, self-care and practical strategies alone may not be enough. Consider seeking professional help if that is something you’re experiencing.

Various types of psychotherapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or exposure therapy, can help you combat your fear of failure. Your health care provider may also consider medication to help you overcome your phobia. 

Live a Life Where You’re Free to Succeed

The fear of failure doesn’t have to define you. By exploring its impacts, root causes, and methods that can help, you can take steps towards a healthy, successful mindset. Remember to seek outside help from a medical professional if needed. When you work towards accepting yourself and overcoming failure, you can open yourself to living your best life and realizing what success means for you. 

Meanwhile, you can also check out JimRohn.com for more strategies and teachings on overcoming fear, building confidence and developing a resilient mindset. 

Photo by pics five/Shutterstock

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fear.

It’s so easy to get stuck in it. To let it hold you back.

I have been there many times in my life.

The fear has, for example, held me back from:

• Trying new things. It has held me back from trying something new for lunch or a new hobby because I feared I would have a bad experience or fail. And so I stuck to my usual routine and choices.
• Asking someone out for a date. Because I didn’t want to risk being rejected or looking like a fool in eyes of other people.
• Living my life like I deep down wanted to. The fear has held me in its grip and calmly explained to me that it would be best and most comfortable for me to stay where I am and to do nothing new. And many times I have sadly believed the fear and gotten myself stuck in a place where I honestly deep down didn’t want to be.

The fears we have are based in how we think about things. Destructive thought habits can create a lot of fear that is really unnecessary and damaging.

But there are also ways to handle these habits when they pop up and to – over time – replace them with healthier habits.

So today I’d like to share 6 destructive and fear-inducing thought habits and what to do instead of letting them roam free in your head.

1. You keep the fear foggy and undefined.

As long as your fear of doing something is foggy and undefined and just floating around in your head it will hold you back and often grow stronger with time.

What to do instead:

Ask yourself this question: what is the worst that could realistically happen?

And don’t just take a second or two to answer it.

Sit down with a pen and piece of paper. Take time to really think about it and to write out the realistic worst-case scenario.

This will:

• Bring a lot of clarity to what you truly fear.
• Defuse quite a bit of fuzzy fears or disaster scenarios that may have been bouncing around in your mind.
• Help you to realize that you can often bounce back pretty quickly even if the worst-case scenario somehow becomes reality.

2. You keep the fear to yourself.

When you keep the fear to yourself then in my experience it can easily take charge of your imagination and build a horrific and paralyzing nightmare in your mind.

Just being alone with the fear makes it is easy to lose touch with reality.

What to do instead:

Writing it out as mentioned above can certainly help. Another step you can take is to share your fear with someone else.

By sharing and getting some level-headed input from a friend or family member that nightmare can often be quickly deflated and seen for what it really is.

And just talking about it to someone who truly listens will release a lot of your inner tensions.

3. You focus on aspects that will keep you stuck.

If you just focus on the negative things that could happen if you face your fear then it will be very hard to start moving forward.

What to do instead:

A change in perspective is needed.

You can get it by talking to your friend or family member and by exchanging ideas and experiences about what opportunities lie ahead if you move forward.

You do it by focusing on the positive and on why you want to move towards what you fear.

A few questions that have helped me to find the more constructive and positive perspective when I have faced a fear are:

• What are the potential upsides that I want and can have by taking these actions?
• What are the potential upsides in one year if I start moving on this path? And in five years?
• And how will my life be in five years if I continue on the fearful path that I am on today?

Talk these questions over with someone. Or take out a piece of paper and write down the answers. Or do both.

4. You misinterpret the often little information you have.

It is easy to take very few experiences – maybe just one – and start seeing them as evidence of something permanent and frightening in your life.

What to do instead:

Question your fears and what they are based upon.

Again, sit down with that pen and a piece of paper. Think back to what evidence you have in your memories for a fear and a belief of yours.

Try to see the situation(s) that created your fear with fresh eyes today. Instead of the way you may usually see them.

Doing this helped me to for example reduce my fear of social rejection.

I looked back at a few situations from my past that formed and fueled that fear.

And I realized that:

• Honestly, I may have just misinterpreted being rejected in some of those situations.
• I often wasn’t rejected because it was something wrong with what I did but simply because we weren’t realistically a good match for each other. Or because the other person had a bad day or because he or she simply wanted to push me down to feel better about himself or herself in that moment.

This was an eye-opening experience and also helped me to understand that everything is not about me and what I do. And that our memories can often be pretty inaccurate and unhelpful if not reexamined later on.

And that our minds love to create patterns and conclusions based on very little evidence or few experiences.

5. You try to push the fear away.

When you try to deny a fear in your life, when you try to push it away or not think about it then it can often grow stronger.

What to do instead:

I have found in recent years that pushing the fear away can certainly work and help you to not be paralyzed from taking action. But I have also discovered that it can sometimes be more helpful to accept the fear.

To accept that it is there instead of for example trying to tell yourself to focus on the positive like a laser-beam.

That may sound a bit vague so here’s how I do it.

• Breathe. Take a few breaths and focus only on the air going in and out to calm and center yourself a bit.
• Tell yourself something like: “Yes, the fear is here. It simply is at this point in time.”
• Take that feeling of fear in and just let it be there in your body and mind. It will be uncomfortable. But just for short while.

Because if you do let it in then after a while – often just after a few minutes of discomfort in my experience – the fear starts to lose steam. It becomes a lot smaller or just seems to float away.

And it becomes a lot easier to think clear and constructive thoughts again.

6. You make it harder than it needs to be to take action.

If you think that you have to take action in a big, heroic and risky leap to overcome your fear then that may often lead to more fear and to not taking any action at all.

What to do instead:

A more helpful way to go about things is to not go all in at once. But to instead just dip your toes in. To take a small step forward but to do it today or as soon as you can.

And to take that first step slowly if you like.

The most important thing is that you start moving. That you start building momentum forward so that you can take more small and perhaps slow steps forward.

Doing things this way will not only build momentum but also self-confidence and expand your comfort zone. And all of this will make it a lot easier to take a bit bigger steps later on too if you’d like to.

 

Everyone has fears – some you admit, some you’d rather hide. In this ‘Would You Rather: Fear Factor Edition,’ you’ll face a lineup of creepy, stomach-turning, and downright terrifying choices.

Would you spend the night in a haunted house or in a pitch-black cave? Hold a tarantula in your hand or let a snake slither across your lap? There are no safe answers here – only gut reactions.

Cast your vote in each scenario and see how your fears compare to everyone else’s!

Want more or looking for something else? Head over to the Bored Panda Quizzes and explore our full collection of quizzes and trivia designed to test your knowledge, reveal hidden insights, and spark your curiosity.

Going after goals takes more than just a desire to change—it takes discipline, resilience and a willingness to get uncomfortable. It means showing up on the hard days and working through the challenges. What gets in the way often isn’t lack of ability, but fear—fear of failure, of judgment and of not being good enough. 

When you read through these “reach goals” quotes, you’ll likely find a few that inspire. You may also find some quotes about attaining goals that are thought-provoking, encouraging you to consider your own life path. Take a hard look at yourself and consult trusted advisors for their honest feedback on your goals and what you’d like to achieve. This way, you can ensure that your efforts won’t be in vain.

‘Reach for the Stars’ Quotes to Help You Chase Your Goals

Going after the goals you want in life means honoring your deepest desires, which sometimes means ignoring those goals that others expect of you. It takes courage to pursue what you really want, and these “reach for the stars” quotes convey that sentiment. Reaching higher matters because it pushes you beyond what you thought you could be. It forces growth, resilience and a deeper sense of purpose.

• “Reach for the stars, but remain grounded.” —Frank Sonnenberg
• “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.” —Tony Robbins
• “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; there is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.” —Henry David Thoreau
• “Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.” —Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym
• “Know what you want, work to get it, then value it once you have it.” —Nora Roberts, Morrigan’s Cross
• “If I don’t keep on trying, then I’m lost, then woe betide me. That’s how I see this, to keep on, keep on, that’s what’s needed.” —Vincent van Gogh
• “I was taught to strive not because there were any guarantees of success but because the act of striving is in itself the only way to keep faith with life.” —Madeleine Albright, Madam Secretary
• “Striving for the impossible is not the same as toiling in vain.” —Rob Balder, The Battle for Gobwin Knob

Related: Quotes About Achieving Goals to Inspire and Motivate Your Journey

‘Nothing Is Impossible’ Quotes to Motivate You

Going after impossible goals can sometimes feel foolhardy. It requires grit, patience and a willingness to fail. We go after these goals not because they’re easy, but because they awaken in us something powerful—the need to grow, change and become who we are destined to be. Let these “nothing is impossible” quotes motivate you, wherever you are in your journey. Remind yourself, or someone you care about, that when you push forward with determination to reach for your goals, anything is possible.

• “Aim higher in case you fall short.” —Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire
• “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” —John Wooden
• “Everyone can perform magic, everyone can reach his goal, if he can think, wait and fast.” —Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha
• “It’s very much like your trying to reach infinity. You know that it’s there, you just don’t know where—but just because you can never reach it doesn’t mean that it’s not worth looking for.” —Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth
• “You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.” —Deepak Chopra
• “If you talk about it, it’s a dream. If you envision it, it’s possible. If you schedule it, it’s real.” —Tony Robbins
• “The reason you set goals is to increase your velocity, to increase the rate of your growth, not just to achieve a specific milestone, or position, in that development.” —Scott H. Young
• “It’s a lot easier to make small, gradual modifications than to make sweeping changes in your life. When you do small, positive things day in and day out, the cumulative sum of those actions will deliver dramatic results.” —Frank Sonnenberg

Related: 50 Powerful Entrepreneur Quotes to Inspire Growth & Success

Inspirational Quotes About Reaching Your Goals in Life  

We set goals in many areas of life. This includes things like growing a business or advancing in our careers, building a strong and loving family, pursuing personal passions or lifelong dreams, building a strong community, and deepening relationships with those we care about. The drive for each of us might be different, but the feeling we get when we achieve these goals is always rewarding. 

We can get inspiration from a mentor, a community leader, a reliable friend or even one of our kids. Read through these inspirational quotes about reaching your goals in life and ponder how they can help you take the next step toward your goal.

• “It was impossible, of course. But when did that ever stop any dreamer from dreaming.” —Laini Taylor, Strange the Dreamer
• “When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” —Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich
• “Chaos is more freedom; in fact, total freedom. But no meaning. I want to be free to act, and I also want my actions to mean something.” —Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler’s Wife
• “Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun. If you do not, the sun will soon set, and you with it.” —Marcus Aurelius, The Emperor’s Handbook
• “Even a snail will eventually reach its destination.” —Gail Tsukiyama, The Street of a Thousand Blossoms
• “The little things of life, sweet and excellent in their place, must not be the things lived for; the highest must be sought and followed; the life of heaven must be begun here on Earth.” —L. M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island
• “Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” —Ella Fitzgerald
• “If you believe anything is possible, you’ll pursue your goals with confidence and vigor. You’ll invest in your personal growth, make an unwavering commitment, and carry out your activities with strength and confidence.” —Frank Sonnenberg
• “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” —Dale Carnegie

Short Sayings About Reaching Goals for Everyday Reminders 

Going after goals is a relentless pursuit. These affirmations and short quotes about reaching goals, originally written by SUCCESS® contributors, help us to remember that doing the impossible isn’t going to happen overnight. Write these quotes on a sticky note to remind yourself that you are worth the effort and you can achieve more.

• “If you don’t move, neither will your goal.”
• “Progress loves persistence.”
• “Every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory.”
• “Your future self is already cheering you on—don’t let them down.”
• “Great things wait just past discomfort.”
• “Make fear your fuel, not your fence.”
• “You’ll never hit the target if you’re too afraid to take the shot.”
• “Persistence may move slowly, but it never goes backward.”
• “Goals grow stronger the more you chase them.”
• “Dreams demand action, not applause.” 
• “Start small, but don’t stay small.”
• “If you’re not willing to take the first step, don’t expect your goals to meet you halfway.”
• “A dream without action is just a wish in disguise.”
• “Hustle quietly, achieve loudly.” 
• “When you reach for the moon, it shows the courage to go after your goals.”

Keep Reaching, Keep Rising

Reaching for your goals, especially the ones that stretch you, requires more than effort; it requires vision and the courage to rise again after setbacks. Whether you’re chasing goals in business, friendships, family life or community, you can learn something from these quotes about attaining goals. These “doing the impossible” quotes can help inspire you along the way. The road may not always be easy, but it’s always worth taking the next step.

Photo courtesy of Maria Markevich/Shutterstock

“If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over time, cease to react at all.” ~Yogi Bhajan

Several years ago, I hiked into the remote forestlands of Bukidnon, a mountainous province in the southern Philippines. I was there to make a documentary about the Pulangiyēn people, an Indigenous community living in the village of Bendum. No roads led there. No running water. Just a winding trail upwards, a slow-moving carabao pulling my camera gear, and a few kindhearted villagers helping me climb.

I had come with the intention to listen—to observe daily life, record sounds, and learn what I could. What I didn’t know was that one of my deepest lessons would come not from the forest or the people, but from a spider.

A very large spider. Hairy. Big and spidery.

My lodging was a small, hand-built hut with bamboo walls and a woven floor mat. I felt honored to stay there, grateful for the simplicity and peace and the respite from the rains. But my gratitude dimmed a little when I noticed, down on the floor in the corner of the room, a dark shape—a spider. Motionless. The size of my outstretched palm.

I asked one of the locals if it should be, well… removed.

They smiled gently. “It lives there,” they said.

That was it. No concern. No plan to catch it in a cup and carry it away. The spider wasn’t a problem. In fact, to interfere might have been seen as disrespectful—not only to the spider, but to the spirits believed to dwell in all things, visible and invisible.

So I had a choice: coexist or live in fear.

The Challenge of Coexistence

At first, I couldn’t sleep. Every creak of bamboo startled me. I imagined the spider descending on my face in the middle of the night. But day after day, the spider never seemed to move around much; at least I was not aware of any major roaming around by the beast. And slowly, I began to wonder—what exactly was I afraid of?

It wasn’t just the spider. It was the unknown. The loss of control. The feeling of being vulnerable in a place far from what I understood.

But here’s what I learned: coexistence is not about agreement or comfort. It’s about choosing not to reject or destroy what we don’t yet understand. It’s about pausing long enough to see whether what we fear is truly dangerous—or whether it’s just unfamiliar.

That spider became a mirror.

Fear Isn’t Always a Problem to Solve

Over time, my relationship with the spider shifted. I stopped checking the corner obsessively. I still noticed it, but I didn’t react. I stopped trying to protect myself from something that wasn’t actually threatening me.

In the quiet of those forest nights, I began to think about all the other things I’d tried to avoid or control in life—conversations, emotions, uncertainties, even my own sense of failure. The pattern was the same: discomfort would arise, and I’d try to evict it.

But this experience showed me a different way: you don’t always need to solve the fear. Sometimes, you just need to sit with it. Let it stay in the corner.

And over time, your relationship to the fear changes. You grow larger around it.

In the Indigenous worldview of the Lumad people, coexistence isn’t an abstract concept—it’s life. Trees, rivers, stones, animals—everything has a presence, a role, a spirit. You don’t have to like every being you share space with. You just have to respect it.

This is echoed in many traditions. In Buddhism, the practice of metta encourages us to extend loving-kindness not only to friends but to enemies, strangers, and even things that scare us. In modern mindfulness practice, we learn to observe our experience without judgment, to allow thoughts and sensations to come and go.

Even ecology tells us: thriving systems are diverse, and balance depends on the peaceful presence of all things—even spiders.

What I Tell My Students Now

I’ve taught filmmaking and storytelling for many years. My students often wrestle with fear—fear of being seen, of not being good enough, of making mistakes. Before, I tried to coach them out of it. Now, I teach them to make room for it.

I tell them about the spider.

I tell them about the time I shared a hut with something I was afraid of—and how, by coexisting with it, I changed more than it did. The fear didn’t go away. But it stopped running the show.

So the next time something in your life scares you—not because it’s harmful, but because it’s unfamiliar—see if you can let it stay in the corner a little while longer. Don’t push it away. Don’t judge yourself for feeling it. Just breathe.

Let it be there.

You might discover, like I did, that peaceful coexistence is possible—even with the things you never thought you could accept.

And once you learn that, there’s very little left to fear.

About Tony Collins

Tony Collins, EdD, MFA is a documentary filmmaker, teacher, musician, writer, and consultant with forty years of experience. His work explores creative expression, scholarly rigor, and nonfiction storytelling across the USA, Central America, Asia, and the UAE. In 2025, he is self-publishing Creative Scholarship: Rethinking Evaluation in Film and New Media on Amazon, challenging traditional academic assessment in film and new media. Website: anthonycollinsfilm.com

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One of the most overlooked risks in real estate investing isn’t rising interest rates, leverage, or even tenant issues—it’s execution fear.

You run the numbers. The property checks all the boxes. It fits your timeline and lifestyle. You can even picture the steady cash flow hitting your account…

Yet you still don’t pull the trigger.

It’s not because you’re being irrational. It’s because real estate is a heavy lift—mentally, financially, and emotionally. The fear of committing to such a large, long-term decision can quietly kill what might have been a life-changing investment.

Fortunately, with mortgage rates still elevated, there’s no rush to buy. But as inventory builds, more opportunities will emerge. The question is: Will you try and pounce on a deal before mortgage rates finally come down?

A Reader’s Reflection On Missing Out On Real Estate Opportunities

Here’s what a reader recently shared on my post, How To Survive The Most Dangerous Time After Purchasing A Home, that inspired this post:

“There’s another real estate risk—and that’s execution. I’ve twice held back from what would’ve been outstanding property investments due to what I guess you’d call ‘execution fear.’ Maybe a topic for another article: how to overcome the fear so you don’t miss the opportunity and actually execute the deal.”

This reader isn’t alone.

Before and after every single home purchase, I’m full of fear too.

I’m always cautious about buying near a market peak—especially after the mistake I made in 2007 when I bought a vacation property I didn’t need. Even though I got it for about 12% below the previous year’s sales price, it still went on to drop another 50% at one point!

Before submitting an offer, I wonder whether I should really buy something nicer I don’t need. I never do.

While I’m in escrow, I’m scrambling to uncover any maintenance red flags. Sometimes, I delay the close because the dread of making mistake is overhwhelming.

And after closing? I’m stressed about how long it’ll take to rebuild my liquidity and feel safe again. In the meantime, I hope no unforeseen disaster happens that bleeds me dry.

What Is Execution Fear?

Execution fear is the resistance that shows up after you’ve done the research. It’s that gnawing hesitation right before committing.

It sounds like:

• What if this is the top of the market?
• What if something breaks and I can’t afford to fix it?
• What if I’m not cut out to be a landlord?
• What if a president enacts a policy so asinine it tanks the global economy right after I buy?
• What if a wildfire ignites in the middle of the night, torching my property and every one of my neighbors?

These are all valid questions. Because unlike stocks, where you can more easily buy the dip, real estate isn’t a click-and-buy-and-sell asset. It’s hands-on, debt-laced, and slow to give feedback. Once you’ve purchased the property, you’re likely stuck with it for years.

Why Execution Fear Happens

• The weight of responsibility. Real estate isn’t just a purchase—it’s a multi-year commitment.
• The permanence. You can’t unload it with one button.
• Analysis fatigue. The more you research, the more “what ifs” you find.
• Perfectionism. You want a unicorn property that might never exist.

Out of fear of making the wrong decision, many people end up making no decision at all—which, of course, is still a decision. But over time, regret tends to creep in as missed real estate opportunities quietly pile up.

Therefore, I thought I’d write a post about how we can all overcome execution fear to build more wealth and happiness.

How to Overcome Execution Fear In Real Estate

There’s always a bit of fear when you’re about to buy a high-priced asset or step outside your comfort zone—like asking someone you find incredibly attractive on a date when you barely know them.

But with time, that fear tends to fade. As you get older, you become wiser, more self-assured, and more comfortable taking calculated risks. You’ve learned how to properly value and analyze an investment property, Further, you’ve also made more mistakes and have learned from them.

Let’s walk through some tips to help you move past the hesitation and start going after what you truly want.

1. Ask: Can I Survive the Worst-Case Scenario?

This is my ultimate gut-check.

If the property cash flows less than expected, the roof leaks, or I get a nightmare tenant—can I survive financially and emotionally?

In expensive cities like San Francisco or NYC, negative cash flow is common, especially in year one or two with 20% down. These are appreciation-focused markets, not yield plays. Know what you’re walking into.

If you dare to buy a $10 million property, be prepared to stomach $1–$3 million in potential paper losses during a housing downturn. If you can handle the downside, the upside might just be worth the risk.

2. Go Through A Regret Minimization Exercise

Risk can often be managed. Regret, on the other hand, tends to linger.

Whenever I’m facing something risky, I like to run a regret minimization exercise. It’s a simple process of weighing the upside against the potential downside—and asking myself which feeling will last longer: the pain of failure or the regret of not trying.

For many boys, our first taste of this comes from asking a classmate out. Since girls still rarely make the first move, only the most confident boys end up with dates or prom partners.

The mental calculation is straightforward: is a few minutes of embarrassment worse than the excitement of a yes? After freshman year, I decided the sting of rejection was manageable. And with each attempt, it hurt a little less, making it easier to keep choosing bravery.

Regret Minimization Exercise With My Current Home

More recently, I went through a regret minimization exercise after stumbling upon an ideal home to raise a family. It had panoramic views of the Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge, along with a large, enclosed lot.

I had to weigh the regret of selling stocks and bonds and potentially watching them rise, against the regret of missing out on this “once-in-a-lifetime” home. In the end, I chose the house and the life it could help create.

21 months later, I’m grateful I prioritized a better environment for my family over the possibility of higher returns. Boy do kids grow up fast! But it sure would be nice to have greater stock returns. Oh well. You can’t have it all!

3. Build an Execution-Ready System

The more prep, the less panic. This is called pre-mortem planning.

My checklist includes:

• Financing pre-approved + 10% of home value in cash reserves or low-risk assets to follow my 30/30/3 home-buying guide
• A vetted contractor or handyman
• A property manager or DIY plan
• Insurance quotes + estimated closing costs
• An expert to talk the deal through

Preparation kills fear. Want fewer surprises? Review all the hidden homeownership costs after purchase. The more you familiarize yourself with the potential surprises, the fewer surprises you will have.

4. Learn from the Real Estate Deals You Didn’t Do

Use past hesitation as fuel. Ask yourself:

• What made me hesitate last time?
• Was it valid—or just fear wearing a logical disguise?

Missed opportunities are painful. But they’re also teachers.

And if you miss one dream property? Don’t worry. There’s always another one down the road. The world doesn’t run out of homes. Only your courage to buy them.

5. Set a Greenlight Framework

Instead of waiting for a “perfect” deal, define what’s “good enough”:

• Cash-on-cash return > risk-free rate + 3%+ premium to compensate you for the risk you take
• Cap rate > borrowing cost
• Location with real economic drivers you believe in
• A life stage where you can commit to 5+ years of ownership, the longer the better

If the deal meets your framework, it’s time to buy. The people who never build wealth are the ones who never take calculated risks.

6. Reframe Your Identity

Tell yourself: “I’m someone who takes informed risks and follows through.”

This isn’t bravado, it’s about self-belief. You did the work. You ran the numbers. Now it’s time to let your preparation pay off. Words have power. Remove the negative self-talk from your life.

If you never act, all that diligence becomes wasted energy.

Execution Regret Hurts More Than Execution Mistakes

One of the hardest parts about real estate is that inaction doesn’t hurt right away.

You feel safe. You preserved your cash. There is no uncertainty.

But five or ten years later?

That “safety” often turns into stagnation.

Inflation marches on. Asset prices tend to rise. That once “too expensive” home? Now it’s a bargain.

And your peers? They’re buying their next home while you’re still stuck in the same place, older, and maybe a little resentful. Life moves on with or without you.

Comparing Houses Hurts More Than Comparing Stock Portfolios

Here’s another nugget of truth: It stings more to see a peer living better than investing better.

A friend with a bigger stock portfolio? Meh. No big deal. Stocks don’t bring joy. They’re just funny money on a screen that can ocassionally make you moody during violent corrections.

Sometimes you can feel a little sorry for peers with massive stock portfolios who still live far below their means. It’s as if fear and frugality have paralyzed them—trapping them in a hoarding mindset that prevents them from truly enjoying their wealth.

But a friend with a nicer home? That’s harder to ignore.

You’ll have to find a way to appreciate what you do have because envy doesn’t build wealth. It just breed unhappiness.

Execution Fear Will Naturally Decrease Over Time

The next time you’re paralyzed with execution fear, take a deep breath.

Run the numbers again. Model out the worst-case scenario. If you can handle it, move forward—knowing you might still lose money, and that’s okay. Even pocket Aces get cracked around 15% of the time pre-flop when you’re going heads-up.

If you decide not to execute, be patient. The market always brings new opportunities.

Eventually, for the sake of living your best life, you’ve got to make a move.

Real estate, over the long run, tends to go up and to the right. If you desire, climb that property ladder until there aren’t any more rungs. You don’t want to look back at 70 and wish you’d taken a few more calculated risks to live better.

I’m 48, and I still wish I had bought more property in New York and San Francisco when I was younger. I’d be at least $2 million richer today. But I’ve learned from my fears and I’m applying those lessons now. It’s never too late.

Your Turn: What’s Holding You Back?

Have you ever passed on a great deal due to execution fear? What kept you from moving forward—and what did you learn? This doesn’t just apply to real estate. Stocks, careers, businesses—we all hesitate.

So why do we fear taking risks when the wealthiest people in the world are often the biggest risk takers?

Drop your story in the comments—I’d love to hear it. You might just inspire someone else to overcome fear and move forward.

An Easier Way To Invest In Real Estate

The biggest reason people are so afraid of buying real estate is the sheer amount of money they have to borrow. Even with a 20% down payment, borrowing 80% on a typical property in San Francisco still means taking on a $1.4 million mortgage, for example.

This is where Fundrise comes in. With a minimum investment of just $10, it’s easy to gain exposure to private real estate across the country. No leverage is required, and you can dollar-cost average in at your own pace.

Fundrise primarily invests in residential and industrial commercial real estate in the Sunbelt region, where valuations are lower and yields tend to be higher. As someone who owns real estate in expensive markets like San Francisco, Honolulu, and Tahoe, I truly appreciate the diversification this offers.

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Financial Samurai began in 2009 and is now one of the largest and most trusted independently owned personal finance sites. Every article is based on firsthand experience and knowledge—because money is too important to leave in the hands of the inexperienced.