James Van Der Beek revealed his biggest parenting regret amid his cancer battle as she shared a new reflective social media post.

The actor celebrated his son Jeremiah in a tribute post uploaded via Instagram on Friday, October 10 to mark the child’s 4th birthday, while apologizing for not being a better father amid his health struggles.

“4 years old today. After 2 late-term losses, we thought we were done. Thank God you knew better,” James, 48, wrote alongside a carousel of photos of Jeremiah, including one where the child was perched atop the actor’s shoulders.

James paid tribute to Jeremiah’s lively personality in the heartfelt post.

 “An iron will combined with an innate sweetness. And ALL boy. And as you run around and scream and bang things… all I can think about is how grateful I am that you came to us,” he wrote. “You’ve been particular from the jump. And as your language skills have finally caught up the specificity of your desires, what I’m seeing is a fun-loving, passionate soul who doesn’t think twice about speaking up for exactly what he wants. And for that example, I thank you.”

Continuing the post, the Dawson’s Creek alum then shared that he felt he hasn’t lived up to the standard of father that he believed his son deserved.

“I’m sorry there have been spells where I couldn’t be the father I would want to be for you… where I was too weak to pick you up, throw you around, or even put you to bed… but know that watching you reveal yourself to us has been one of the greatest joys of my life,” he added. “And even though you’re stingy with the hugs… when you do decide to wrap those thick little arms around my neck, it’s like time has stood still and all is right with the world.”

James concluded, “I love you, bubba. And I always will. And all you ever have to do is be you. Happy birthday, my ‘big little boy.’ ”

Katie Holmes, who costarred alongside James in Dawson’s Creek in the 90s, reacted in the comments.

“Sooooooo sweet!!!!!!!” the actress, 46, wrote.

Jeremiah is the youngest of six kids who James shares with his wife Kimberly. The couple also share Olivia, 15, Joshua, 13, Annabel, 11, Emilia, 8 and Gwendolyn, 6. James and Kimberly have also been open in the past about suffering pregnancy losses in November 2019 and June 2020, which James referenced in the post.

The Varsity Blues star announced in November 2024 that he had been diagnosed with stage III colorectal cancer.

“I’ve been privately dealing with this diagnosis and have been taking steps to resolve it, with the support of my incredible family,” he told People at the time, adding, “There’s reason for optimism, and I’m feeling good.”

In a video interview for the outlet, James touched on the effect his diagnosis has had on his kids.

“My kids have been so supportive and so loving and so tender,” he said. “And you hate to watch them have to grow up in that way but you watch them really put you first, which, as a father, is, like, heartwarming and also devastating.”

We all have a few secrets. Maybe some of us have been known to buy cheap boxed wine and pour it into fancy bottles for neighborhood gatherings. Maybe some of us are spending our evenings wishing our husbands would just shut the F up already. And maybe some of us are really, really worried about our kids’ social standings.

No matter what, we all have something to confess. And this week, the moms are letting it all out. From relationship confessions to airing out their deep fears and struggles, the moms are breaking the dam and letting it all flow. Maybe you’ll find something relatable, or you’ll find something that puts your own worries into a little more perspective. No matter what, know that you aren’t alone with your secrets, your worries, your confessions.

Scary Mommy Confessions are a tried-and-true part of what makes our site so fun. If you want to anonymously confess, look for our weekly callouts on Instagram. And to browse past Confessions, head here.

From sunscreen limitations to sweltering temps, first-time and seasoned moms alike are feeling stuck indoors—and deeply unseen.

The other day, I found myself standing on my apartment balcony with my three-month-old son, gently dabbing water on his cheeks while silently counting how many minutes we could stay outside before the sun got too harsh. He can’t wear sunscreen yet. His skin burns easily. And when we do venture out, his car seat turns into a tiny, padded furnace.

This is my first summer as a mom—and honestly, I didn’t expect it to feel quite like this.

I recently came across a video from Emily (@takeaminutemama on TikTok) that stopped me in my scroll. She said,

“I’m currently struggling with summertime with a baby… it’s just hard. I have all the things to make her comfortable in the heat, but she can’t use sunscreen unless we absolutely had to.”

That hit me. I have the stroller fan. I have the shade cover. I have the best of intentions. But even with all of that, I’ve mostly been confined to the living room—between feeds, diaper changes, and avoiding car seat naps (our pediatrician strongly advised against them). I take him out on the balcony like it’s a grand field trip.

Emily went on to say,

“I just feel like I’m stuck. Like we’re missing out because I just can’t be out at the beach all day. I can’t be at the pool all day.”

That’s exactly it. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss the spontaneity of summer. Getting ice cream on a whim. Spending too long at the park. Letting the day unfold around the sunshine. Now, I plan our tiny outings around nap windows and UV indexes, and I still worry I’m doing it wrong.

And I know I’m not alone.

@takeaminutemama Can anybody else relate? Yes, we still get out and do plenty but it’s just different and changes hard. I think anybody can understand that. #momsoftiktok #junepregnancy #summerbaby #momofthree #babynumber3 #relatablemom ♬ original sound – emily

Moms are feeling this all over

When Emily posted her video, the comments lit up with shared experiences—and relief:

“I 100% went through that last summer. I had a 5/6 month old last summer and I pretty much never left my house. PPD didn’t help lol but I promise mama you will get through it!” — @Courtney

“3rd kid is almost 7mo and it’s so hard – my older kiddos still need to get out, my mental health needs me to be out, my infant can’t handle long periods but alllll the work it takes to get 3 kids.” — @Matty Killilea Hatfi

“I needed to see this today. My parents have a pool & every summer we’re constantly swimming & I feel like I can’t this year. Yes, I can take him in the pool, but not for very long. Mama needs vitamin D!” — @user615734708846

“Mommas, you are not alone in this! We’ve been playing outside in the mornings, and some nights I’ve let my 3-year-old stay up a little later to sit outside just before bedtime when it’s cooler.” — @Chelly

Related: The summer snacks this nanny says could put toddlers at risk

Why the first summer with a baby feels uniquely hard

There are so many layered challenges:

• Sunscreen age limits. Babies under 6 months aren’t supposed to wear sunscreen unless absolutely necessary, which means full coverage clothing and shade are your only options.
• Nap needs vs. daylight hours. The best hours for being outside are often when your baby is napping—or melting down.
• Heat concerns. Overheating is a very real risk, especially in car seats or strollers.
• Feeding logistics. If you’re nursing, pumping, or just trying to stay on a feeding schedule, long outings become a logistical puzzle.
• Mental health. For many, especially first-time moms, it’s isolating. You want to “soak it all in,” but sometimes it feels like summer is passing you by through a window.

A gentle mindset shift for moms who feel stuck

If this summer feels “wasted,” here’s a reframing that’s helped me: this season is not forever, but it’s also not a throwaway. Yes, I’m not doing all the things I used to. But I am doing the thing that matters most—loving and caring for my baby in a new, very tender season.

Like Emily said,

“I know that it’s just a season. I know that next summer is gonna look different. I’m gonna have a one-year-old running around that will be able to do a lot more.”

Some days that perspective helps. Other days, I just need a deep breath and a few minutes on the balcony.

Light strategies to make it feel less hard

• Shift your “outside time.” Mornings and evenings tend to be cooler. Even a short walk around the block can make a difference.
• Window moments count. Letting your baby lie near the light or listening to outdoor sounds together can offer stimulation without stress.
• Let go of the pressure to do. You’re not missing summer—you’re just experiencing it in a different, quieter way.
• Talk to someone. If you’re feeling isolated, talk to your partner, a friend, or a professional. Sometimes saying “this is hard” out loud is the first relief.

I wouldn’t trade this summer with my baby for the world. But I can also say—it’s been hard. And that’s okay.

If you’re out there wondering why this season doesn’t look like you thought it would, you’re not alone. You’re just in a new summer rhythm, one that might not include beaches and barbecues, but is still full of love.

And next year? We’ll be chasing toddlers with popsicles. Promise.

Related: Why experts say you should stop bathing your newborn in the kitchen sink