Evolution invented REM sleep, that ministry of dreams, to give us a safe way of practicing the possible into the real. The dreams of the night clarify our lives. The dreams of the day complicate them, charge them with the battery of fear and desire, quiver them with the urgency of our mortality and the fervor of our lust for life. To dream is to dare traversing the roiling ocean between what is and what could be on a ramshackle raft of determination and luck. The price we pay for dreaming is the possibility of drowning; the price we pay for not dreaming is the surety of coasting through life in a stupor of autopilot, landlocked in the givens of our time, place, and culture. The dreamer, then, is the only one fully awake to life — that bright technology of the possible the universe invented to prevail over the probable amid the cold austerity of eternal night.

But what may be even harder than getting what you dream of is knowing what to dream of, annealing your imagination and your desires enough to trust that your dreams are your own — not the second-hand dreams of your parents, not your heroes’ costumes of achievement, not your culture’s templates of success. “No one can acquire for another — not one,” Walt Whitman reckoned with how to own your life, “not one can grow for another — not one,” while two hundred miles north Thoreau was reckoning with the nature of success, concluding: If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal — that is your success.”

They are nothing less than patron saints of the human spirit, those who protect our dreams from the false gods of success.

Arundhati Roy is one such modern patron saint. Half a lifetime before taking up the complicated question of success in her exquisite memoir Mother Mary Comes to Me (public library) — what success means and looks like in the deepest sense, how its shallow metrics can turn a person into “a cold silver figurine with a cold silver heart,” why “making friends with defeat” is “the very opposite of accepting it” and so-called failure might actually be worth striving for — Roy captured the crux of our confusion about the real metrics of our lives a passage from her 1999 book The Cost of Living (public library).

Recounting a conversation with an old friend in the wake of the disorienting success of her novel The God of Small Things, Roy finds herself suffocated by the intimation that “the trajectory of a person’s happiness… had peaked because she had accidentally stumbled upon ‘success’” — a notion “premised on the unimaginative belief that wealth and fame were the mandatory stuff of everybody’s dreams.” She tells her friend:

You’ve lived too long in New York… There are other worlds. Other kinds of dreams. Dreams in which failure is feasible. Honorable. Sometimes even worth striving for. Worlds in which recognition is not the only barometer of brilliance or human worth.

The people who are less successful “in the most vulgar sense of the word,” she observes, are often more fulfilled — like her beloved uncle, who had become one of India’s first Rhodes scholars for his work in Greek and Roman mythology but had chosen to give up his academic career in order to start a pickle, jam, and curry-powder factory with his mother and build balsawood model airplanes in his basement.

When Roy’s friend meets her point with raised eyebrows awning a look of slight annoyance, she takes a moment to distill her thoughts, then writes them on a paper napkin for her friend to hold on to, formulating with that rare and exultant combination of passion and rigor what success really means:

To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.

Couple with Henry Miller on the measure of a life well lived, then revisit John Quincy Adams on impostor syndrome and the true measure of success.

Have you ever felt a gnawing sense of emptiness despite ticking off achievements or wondered late at night, “Is this all there is to life?” If so, you’re not alone. The quest for purpose and fulfillment is a universal human pursuit, leading many to explore philosophies that promise clarity and direction. One concept, in particular, has resonated across cultures: Ikigai.

Rooted in Japanese culture, Ikigai roughly translates to “a reason for being” and offers a practical framework for achieving balance and purpose in life. Let’s delve into the essence of Ikigai, explore its cultural significance, and uncover actionable ways to integrate it into your life for deeper fulfillment.

The Essence of Ikigai

At its core, Ikigai is about the harmony between what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. These four elements intertwine to form a unique reason for being. Imagine a Venn diagram where the intersection of passion, vocation, mission, and profession represents your Ikigai. It’s a holistic approach to life that balances personal fulfillment with societal contribution and financial sustainability. The sweet spot where they converge is your Ikigai — your unique reason for being. It’s a holistic approach to life that aligns personal fulfillment with societal contribution and financial sustainability.

Aligning Skills and Passions for Purpose

Many individuals find their Ikigai by aligning their skills, passions, and societal contributions into a cohesive purpose. For example, someone skilled in technology with a passion for environmental sustainability might explore ways to create digital tools that address ecological challenges, combining professional expertise with personal values.

Ikigai isn’t about a single perfect job but about harmonizing different aspects of life to create a sense of purpose and satisfaction.

Cultural Roots of Ikigai

To fully appreciate Ikigai, it’s vital to understand its cultural origins. In Japan, Ikigai is not solely tied to grand achievements or career success. Instead, it’s found in the joy of small, everyday moments — tending a garden, preparing a meal, or practicing a craft with care. These simple acts embody the Japanese philosophy of mindfulness and purposeful living.

This perspective contrasts with Western cultures, where fulfillment is often linked to individual achievement and external validation. The Japanese view reminds us that meaning can be found in quiet satisfaction and the steady pursuit of well-being for oneself and others.

These cultural insights offer a refreshing reminder to seek meaning in the small, everyday moments. Incorporating practices like mindful rituals, gratitude walks, or simple acts of service can ground you in the present and help you feel connected to a larger purpose. For instance, savoring a morning cup of tea, noticing the details on a neighborhood walk, or lending a hand to someone in need can embody the spirit of Ikigai.

The Holistic Benefits of Living Your Ikigai

Aligning your life with Ikigai can profoundly impact your well-being, resilience, and relationships. A sense of purpose often leads to greater life satisfaction, as activities aligned with Ikigai create opportunities for “flow” — a state of full immersion in what you’re doing. Research even suggests that purposeful living improves physical health and longevity, as seen in the lives of many centenarians in Okinawa who attribute their vitality to meaningful daily practices. Moreover, Ikigai strengthens connections, guiding you to communities and relationships that resonate with your values.

Insights from Okinawan Longevity

In Okinawa, a region known for its high concentration of centenarians, many find their Ikigai in simple, purposeful activities like tending gardens. These daily rituals often provide physical activity, sustenance, and a deep connection to nature and tradition, showcasing the power of a purpose-driven life.

Finding Your Ikigai: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Discovering your Ikigai is a gradual process that requires self-reflection, exploration, and an openness to change. Begin by reflecting on what brings you joy, what you’re naturally good at, and what societal issues resonate with you. Consider journaling to organize your thoughts or trying new activities to uncover hidden passions. Evaluate your skills and align them with opportunities that not only sustain you financially but also contribute to a greater purpose. Remember, finding Ikigai is not about perfection; it’s about cultivating balance across work, relationships, community, and self-care. Over time, this journey evolves as you learn more about yourself and the world.

Challenges and Misconceptions About Ikigai

While inspiring, the journey to Ikigai is not without challenges. Here are common misconceptions and how to address them:

• The Perfect Overlap Myth: You don’t need one single activity that fulfills all four elements. Your Ikigai can be a blend of activities.
• Static Nature Fallacy: Ikigai evolves with your experiences and circumstances. Embrace change as part of the journey.
• Career-Only Focus: Fulfillment isn’t limited to your job. Ikigai can also come from hobbies, relationships, and community involvement.
• Perfection Pressure: Avoid letting the pursuit of Ikigai become another source of stress. It’s a guide, not a rigid goal.

Daily Practices to Embrace Your Ikigai

Ikigai is not a destination but a practice. Here are strategies to integrate it into your daily life:

• Regular Self-Assessment: Reflect periodically on your passions, skills, and contributions to ensure alignment.
• Mindful Decision-Making: Align major decisions with your Ikigai to maintain balance and purpose.
• Gratitude Practice: Acknowledge the aspects of your life that resonate with your Ikigai to sustain motivation.
• Continuous Learning: Stay curious and open to new experiences that might refine your path.
• Community Engagement: Build connections with people who support and inspire your journey.

Conclusion: The Transformative Power of Ikigai

In a world driven by hustle and external validation, Ikigai offers a refreshing reminder: true fulfillment comes from balance and alignment. Whether it’s through a meaningful career, quiet daily rituals, or contributions to your community, the pursuit of Ikigai leads to a life of purpose, joy, and resilience.

Your journey begins with small steps. Reflect, experiment, and embrace the process. As the Japanese say, “Ikigai o mitsukeru” — may you find your Ikigai and create a life truly worth living.

Featured photo credit: Photo by Colton Sturgeon on Unsplash via unsplash.com