We are in the month of horrors, but in a fun way, not in a The Horrors of Reality way (there’s that, too, but there’s always that in every month). October welcomes in the ghosts, ghouls, and gays who love costumes. It might also welcome in a little gay drama.

And today, you can answer the following Halloweeny questions and learn what gay fear sits inside your little gay heart. Continue if you dare! Like the vibe of this quiz? There are 14 whole other Halloween-themed quizzes that you can take for a very October Sunday.

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Ah yes, it’s time for another quiz where I roast you! Perhaps you are currently unemployed or considering a major career pivot or saying to your friends every week that you want to quit your job. Consider this: a fake lesbian job! These jobs are technically unpaid, but they will give your life purpose or at least give you something to incessantly talk about.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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I’ve been in a shark horror kick as of late, trying to watch as many entries in the canon as possible. Jaws is one of my favorite movies of all time, and while I was technically aware many a copycat had been made through the years and the wonderful world of shark-centric cinema was as vast as the sea itself, I still wasn’t quite prepared for just how many schlocky shark movies there are out there. None come close to touching Jaws, but many are fascinating in their own ways. You would think there are only so many ways a filmmaker could invent a BIGGER BADDER FASTER SMARTER shark, but alas, they keep on taking a stab at it! Anyway, let my latest obsession become yours as you take this shark-themed personality quiz, whose overall message is also meant to suggest: All sharks are lesbians.

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Lesbians. We’re full of arcane knowledge. It is our right. But what specific knowledge do you personally hold and lord over others? Take this quiz, and I bet I could guess.

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For 16 years, Autostraddle has been publishing sexy, smart, funny, moving, deep, silly, stunning, messy, radiant, and provocative queer and trans writing online. Now we’re bringing everything you love about this community we’ve built together to print! That’s right! WE MADE A ZINE. Introducing: The Autostraddle Insider, a full-color print magazine that you can hold in your beautiful gay hands.

It looks so good y’all! See for yourself!!!!!

But of course, it isn’t just about looks. We go deep in this zine. Inside the pages of The Autostraddle Insider, you’ll find writing and photography that represents the full range of Autostraddle’s kaleidoscopic point of view, from the fun and light stuff like horoscopes, lists, pop culture, and funny stories to the deeper shit like reported features, emotionally complex personal essays, and real talk life advice.

This first issue features a lead story by Nico Hall about the rise in queer fight clubs throughout the country as a response to the current political moment and a desire for expanding the ways we can protect each other but also tap into physical strength and challenge. There’s also a story about the fun and easy brotherhood fostered between transmascs via amateur wrestling. Eliel Cruz and Raquel Willis of Gender Liberation Movement pen a powerful call to action. And you’ll see lots of familiar bylines from Autostraddle favs. There are also crosswords and other puzzles and intimate pages introducing you to the creative team behind the zine.

Some of y’all who have been here a while might find the zine’s official name familiar. The Autostraddle Insider was a longtime monthly column for our members, and we think of this zine as the next evolution of that. It feels fitting to look back as we move forward into the print publishing space: There’s a long history and tradition of queer and trans zine-making, and we’re tapping into that with this project. The Autostraddle Insider is a way for us to thank and connect with our members, which brings us to the question you’re probably dying to ask: HOW DO YOU GET YOUR VERY OWN COPY OF OUR ZINE?

The zine will be sent to all AF+ All Access tier members who are on a quarterly or annual plan and all Support tier members. If you’re not a member yet, it’s super easy to become one today and bundle the zine with your membership purchase for ZERO DOLLARS.

Already have a membership? Check your personal member portal and click ‘My Account’ to see your membership tier, confirm or update your shipping address, and let us know you want your free copy by emailing [email protected].

To upgrade your membership, you can also email [email protected]. If you have been a member of A+ since before the For Them merger and are not sure what your previous A+ tier translates to within the AF+ Membership, all Platinum, all Gold and Silver annual members will receive a zine. You should have received an email with details about the zine and how to receive it.

We also have a limited batch of zines available for standalone purchase, but they’ll go fast! And the best way to ensure you’ll get future issues (we’ve got so much good stuff cooking!) is to become an AF+ All Access member with a quarterly or annual plan.

And once you have this hot queer zine in your hands, we want to see you with it! Please tag us in any photos you post of yourself reading your gay zine around your home, around town, in the club, in a park, on a plane, train, automobile — the possibilities are endless for where you can take us! We hope reading this zine feels exactly like that: carrying a piece of Autostraddle and queer and trans history around with you.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

You could spend today making a special Sunday Sauce for a large pot of pasta — or you could spend today taking this personality quiz and finding other ways to procrastinate from the grind of adult responsibilities. Doesn’t the latter sound a lot more fun! But lo, I have made myself hungry by merely typing the words Sunday Sauce, and now you must all come on this culinary journey with me of answering a bunch of pasta-themed questions in order to find out what lesbian pasta shape you are. Ready? Let’s eat take a quiz.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!