When a couple gets married, they agree to stay by one another’s side for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. And those beautiful vows are meant to last for decades. But what if one partner decides that they’re no longer going to contribute financially to their household?

One woman recently reached out to Reddit to express her frustration about her husband’s current employment status. After closing his business of 20 years, he hasn’t been in any hurry to get another job. So below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared. 

This woman’s husband was devastated when he realized that he was going to have to shut down his business

Image credits: varyapigu / envato (not the actual photo)

But now, he’s refusing to find any other source of income

Image credits: klavdiyav / envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Difficult-Impact-69

The vast majority of small businesses fail

After getting married, you have a lot of obligations towards your partner. But it’s assumed that you’re happy to take on those responsibilities, as you’re choosing to be with the person you love. Helping out around the house, contributing financially to the household, taking care of your partner when they’re ill and staying by their side while they cry shouldn’t ever feel like a burden.

It sounds like the husband in this story has given up on the idea of helping his wife fund their lifestyle. But the harsh reality is that his business failing shouldn’t have been an earth-shattering surprise. After all, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that over 20% of businesses fail during their first year.

Even if they manage to make it to their first anniversary, 40% of businesses fail within three years, and half have to close their doors within five years. Nearly two thirds fail within a decade, almost three quarters fail within 15 years, and nearly 80% fail within 20 years. No matter how profitable this man’s company was at one point, he should have known that that success wasn’t guaranteed to last forever.

When it comes to why so many small businesses fail, FreshBooks published a list of the most common reasons. First, lack of planning and poor choice of location can set companies up for failure. Not doing enough research is another huge mistake, as well as not having a solid business plan.

Having a poor pricing strategy, insufficient funds, cash flow problems or poor debt management can also sink a small business. It’s never a good idea to rely too heavily on one customer, and inadequate profits are a big issue. Of course, competition can also be a problem. And if there’s not enough demand in the market, a business is doomed. 

It’s not fair for one partner to be responsible for taking care of their entire family

It’s heartbreaking to have to close the doors of a business you’ve dedicated decades of your life to. But unfortunately, that’s not a valid reason to shift all of your family’s financial burden onto your partner. Having a conversation with your spouse about the fact that they need to find a job certainly won’t be easy. But Dr. Natalie Jones, PsyD, says it’s necessary when one partner refuses to work.

If your spouse or partner won’t get a job to contribute to the household, Dr. Jones says it’s crucial to put your own and your family’s needs first. Make sure that you have an emergency fund set aside for yourself, and ensure that your family won’t ever be without food or unable to pay the bills.

It’s also possible that your spouse may be taking advantage of you financially. If they refuse to put in any effort to resolve the issue, it might be time to consider whether or not this relationship is actually worth it. And if you’re feeling unhappy, overworked and overextended, make sure that you have a safe space where you can talk about that. You deserve to have support, especially if you’re not getting it from your partner.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you respond if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family drama right here.    

Readers assured the woman that her feelings were valid, and many noted that her husband needs to find a job ASAP

You still love him, but you don’t feel close to him. Perhaps your lives are busy with kids, activities and work. You might feel like you’ve lost the connection you initially had.  You’ve reached a point in your relationship where you realize that you no longer know his thoughts and feelings, and you are quite sure he doesn’t know yours. Recognizing this is an important breakthrough that can mark a significant turning point in your relationship, providing an opportunity for new patterns and greater emotional intimacy.

You Still Love Each Other But….

If someone were to ask if you loved your husband, you would say yes without hesitation. At the same time you may be experiencing the following:

• Loneliness
• Frustration
• Disappointment
• Sadness
• Fear
• Anger

You might feel all of these things or some combination of them at various times and be unsure about what to do. Even when your husband is at home with you, you are lonely.. You try to act normal but inside you are in turmoil and can’t stop thinking about the state of your relationship. You might find yourself distracted and unable to engage fully in the present moment.. When the person you have committed your life to no longer  feels like your best friend, you wonder what will happen.  

How Emotional Disconnection Begins

It is usually a slow drift that happens over time without one defining moment. It can start with missed bids for attention, missed attempts to be affectionate. Maybe your husband tries to talk to you after a stressful day at work, but you are busy helping your son with homework and dismiss him. Or you ask him if he wants to go for a morning walk, but he says he wants to watch the game. These moments are missed bids for attention and affection, and over time they can pile up. What happens is that partners stop making bids, and the disconnection has begun.

Signs You’re Growing Apart

• Conversations feel surface-level or transactional

You still talk but it’s about who’s picking up the kids, cooking dinner, logistics. It’s not exactly awkward but more like living with a roommate than a partner. Your interactions become transactional, focused on all of the things around you but not your relationship or even one another. When you try to talk to him, your ‘How was your day? ‘is met with ‘Fine’.

• You feel unseen, unheard, or emotionally alone

This is one of the most common and painful signs that the bond of emotional connection has weakened. Partners often describe a sense of living parallel lives rather than sharing a connected one. Partners begin to feel invisible to each other, and the relationship starts to lose its sense of warmth and safety.

• Conflict increases — or you avoid it altogether

Neither of you are getting your emotional needs met, so you may be more critical and perceive questions as attacks and become defensive. You might pick fights over the little things- maybe because you want to express your frustration, anger, and hurt but don’t know how to. Or maybe you avoid conflict altogether resigned to the idea that it’s not worth it.

• Physical affection and intimacy decrease 

There has probably been a subtle decrease in physical affection over time that you may have not even noticed. When before you may have cuddled on the couch watching a show together, you now sit separately on your own devices. The playful kiss or pat on the butt are no longer. There is little physical intimacy between you and your husband. Maybe he tries to initiate sex, and you pull away because you feel lonely and disconnected, but you don’t talk about it. He gets upset and pulls away, and you feel more alone. He initiates sex less often, and you also don’t initiate because of the distance you feel. 

What Does It Mean

It is easy to catastrophize when this dynamic is at play. Here are some things you may be thinking:

• Something’s wrong with me
• He’s not attracted to me anymore
• He doesn’t love me anymore
• Our relationship is over

What It Actually Means

There is a lack of emotional connection. Emotional connection is the experience of closeness created and maintained through loving interaction. Even when love is present, two people can drift apart without emotional connection. Emotional connection is maintained through positive, everyday exchanges. 

When you don’t have these exchanges, you are more likely to see the negative in the relationship and in your partner. You may become critical of your partner and get defensive when they raise any issues. Trust and commitment start to break down. Negative dynamics start becoming the norm, and because you have lost some trust, it is harder to be open and vulnerable. 

Why Disconnection Happens in Long Term Relationships

This chain of events  highlights how damaging a lack of emotional connection can be to your relationship. Because when you feel upset, alone, unhappy, you will turn towards other people in your life to connect with. You might start complaining to your friends about your husband. You might look to social media for ‘people who understand.’ The problem with both of these actions is that you are further undermining your relationship. You want to feel understood and heard, so you find someone else who can fulfill that.

Here are some causes of disconnection:

• Stress
• Not prioritizing the relationship/shift in priorities
• Focus on the kids and parenting
• Outside pressures – work, financial, etc
• Conflict avoidance
• Fear of vulnerability

Negativity Bias

You start noticing his annoying habits that never bothered you before. He never seems to help with household chores, and you start feeling resentment. Our brains are wired to notice the negative in the environment. It is a primal response to ‘keep us safe from threats.’ So perhaps your husband comments about not liking the dinner you cooked even though every other night he has complimented your cooking. What do you dwell on? The one negative comment.

It’s a quiet ache many of us know all too well, feeling alone in a relationship. We might find ourselves yearning for that deep emotional connection that once felt so natural. Perhaps you’ve sensed a growing distance with your partner or felt unheard during conversations. Let’s explore the subtle clues that indicate a lack of emotional connection and discover pathways back to closeness. Recognizing these signs is the first step in rekindling that deep, fulfilling bond we all deserve.

Brief Overview

Emotional disconnection in relationships gradually erodes intimacy, leaving partners feeling distant and misunderstood. Our research shows that recognizing the telltale signs—like shallow interactions and decreased emotional support—can be the first step towards healing. Relationships lose intimacy due to factors like trust erosion, routine monotony, and unresolved issues. But there’s hope: through open communication, shared activities, and potential professional support, you can rebuild a deep, fulfilling connection. Remember, it’s never too late to restore your connection, leading to a more fulfilling relationship.

Key Highlights

• Emotional disconnection in relationships often arises from unnoticed, gradual shifts that accumulate over time, threatening intimacy.
• Common signs include routine interactions feeling hollow, with partners avoiding emotionally charged topics.
• Emotional distance can lead to emotional withdrawal, affecting decision-making, intimacy, and increasing misunderstandings.
• Rebuilding emotional intimacy involves addressing unmet needs via open communication, empathy, and engaging in shared activities.
• Professional support like therapy can help address emotional disconnection through tailored strategies and healing dialogues.

Understanding Emotional Disconnection in Relationships

Emotional disconnection in relationships is something many of us may have felt, a sense that something significant is missing, like the foundation that once supported your bond has slipped away. When partners feel emotionally distant, it’s often due to a combination of factors that accumulate over time. We’ll explore what this looks like and the profound effects emotional disconnection can have on your relationship. Remember, understanding these dynamics can be the first step towards healing and rediscovering emotional closeness.

How a  Lack of Emotional Connection Manifests

A lack of emotional connection doesn’t usually appear overnight. Instead, it grows subtly from moments of missed communication, unaddressed emotional needs, and unresolved conflicts. Our research shows that when couples begin to feel emotionally disconnected, interactions may become routine, lacking the depth they once had. 

When partners lack this emotional bond, everyday interactions become transactional where moments that are meant to build intimacy instead reinforce the feeling of being emotionally stranded. As emotional disconnection deepens, you start to withdraw,  communicating less, sharing fewer details about your thoughts and feelings. You might find yourself confiding in friends or family instead of your partner, seeking the emotional support  you’re missing at home. This behavioral shift can subtly reinforce the feeling that your relationship lacks emotional substance, causing distance that becomes increasingly difficult to bridge.

Consider these strategies to rebuild emotional bonds within your relationship:

• Strengthen your friendship by learning about your partner’s inner world.
• Prioritize time together without distractions to foster deeper connections.
• Ask open-ended questions and practice curiosity instead of judgment or problem solving.
• Show appreciation and gratitude to acknowledge your partner’s efforts.
• Engage in active listening to understand your partner’s needs and concerns.
• Establish routines that encourage connection.
• Seek professional help if necessary to address deep-rooted or stuck  issues.
• Support one another’s individual goals and interests. 

These approaches can help guide you toward renewed emotional connection and intimacy. 

The Impact of Emotional Distance on Your Relationship

Emotional distance can have a ripple effect throughout your entire relationship, reshaping how partners relate to one another. It can lead to increased misunderstandings and conflicts, as assumptions take the place of open communication. One partner might feel neglected, questioning the love they once felt was unconditional. Meanwhile, their partner may become defensive, unaware that their emotional withdrawal has contributed to the disconnection.

This feeling of distance can lead to loneliness and a lack of affection and intimacy. When partners lack emotional closeness, they may seek fulfillment elsewhere, whether through hobbies, friendships, or, in some cases, extramarital connections. Such actions can further widen the gap between partners, creating a cycle of emotional withdrawal and dissatisfaction.

Lack of emotional intimacy can make partners feel like they’re on different paths, leading separate lives instead of sharing a unified journey. Decision-making in areas like parenting can become contentious, as partners may misinterpret behaviors because  they view their partner in a negative way. Because emotional connection is foundational to all healthy relationships, the loss of it impacts every interaction.

Recognizing the Signs of Emotional Disconnection

Emotional disconnection can insidiously enter your relationship. Recognizing the signs of it is a pivotal first step in rebuilding the connection. Here are some of the subtle indicators that mark a shift in the relationship’s health and wellbeing.

Identifying When a Relationship Lacks Emotional Depth

You might notice that your once spontaneous conversations now feel guarded or superficial. You may avoid certain topics that require vulnerability, instead opting for safe, shallow exchanges. This tendency to avoid talking about anything involving emotions can slowly erode the sense of shared understanding that once nurtured your bond and emotional intimacy. It’s vital to remember that these shifts rarely happen overnight but instead build gradually, making them seem deceptively insignificant at first.

You may notice that a simple “How was your day?” no longer invites a meaningful exchange but is met with a one word response. While this in itself may not be concerning, when it becomes a pattern, it can signal a drift towards disconnection. When shared moments and mutual appreciation happen less and less often, both partners are likely not getting their emotional needs met through the relationship. 

You may find that there is little physical affection and that intimacy feels obligatory when there is an emotional void between you. True emotional depth involves feeling understood and cherished, not only when it’s convenient but through the trials and turbulence of everyday life. When this is missing, it may lead both parties to feel isolated, even when together.

Addressing these signs with your partner can be challenging yet necessary. Open discussions about how you are feeling may start the process of rebuilding. Emphasizing honest communication and shared goals can reignite the emotional intimacy you cherish. 

Subtle Indicators Your Relationship Lacks Emotional Connection

Some subtle indicators your relationship lacks emotional connection include a noticeable decline in shared activities and interests you once bonded over. As you drift apart, activities that used to bring you joy may feel more like solitary obligations than joint adventures. Communication may be predominantly logistical, with conversations about emotions feeling forced or uncomfortable. You may find yourselves discussing schedules or tasks while avoiding subjects that require emotional openness. This tendency points to a growing emotional chasm, as true emotional connection flourishes through the sharing of thoughts, dreams, and vulnerabilities, rather than mere survival in daily life.

Beyond communication, examine the level of emotional support you provide each other. When partners emotionally disconnect, providing and receiving support becomes less frequent or meaningful. You might avoid sharing your struggles, fearing dismissal or indifference rather than understanding. This reluctance can stifle opportunities for emotional growth and further deepen the emotional gap.

The feeling of being emotionally alone can manifest in how arguments are handled. Disagreements, which once led to mutual understanding, often escalate without resolution, signaling a lack of emotional connection. During these times, defensiveness might replace empathy, highlighting a fear of vulnerability rather than a commitment to resolve differences compassionately. This pattern not only damages your emotional well-being, but also hinders the opportunity to cultivate deeper intimacy.

Reasons Behind Emotional Distancing

Emotional distancing creeps into relationships, subtly undermining the once strong connection you had. Here are some reasons it can happen which can then help you identify, acknowledge, and address the challenges. 

Common Causes of Emotional Distance

It is natural for the initial spark to dim in long term relationships. When you don’t actively work on your connection, it can lead to emotional disconnection that leaves both partners feeling unfulfilled. One of the most common culprits is a breakdown in communication. When partners stop sharing their feelings and experiences and inviting their partner to do the same, walls are built up.

Another significant contributor to emotional distance is unaddressed emotional needs. In the hustle of daily life, it’s easy to overlook what your partner truly needs emotionally. When these needs go unmet, frustration can build, manifesting as disengagement from the relationship. This lack of emotional attention often emerges slowly; perhaps your partner seems less interested in your day or your relationship feels transactional rather than nurturing.

Stress plays a notable role in dissolving emotional connection. Life’s pressures, work demands, financial stress, or family obligations, can create emotional fog, where partners find themselves consumed by their stressors rather than their partnership. This emotional overload can divert energy away from maintaining romantic intimacy, turning partners into mere co-inhabitants rather than loving companions.

A mismatch in emotional styles can also contribute to emotional distance. Some partners express emotions openly while others are reserved. When one partner’s emotional openness isn’t reciprocated, it can foster feelings of neglect. Understanding and respecting these differences is crucial for maintaining a close emotional bond; otherwise, these mismatches can slowly chip away at the emotional foundation of a relationship.

Lastly, emotional wounds from past experiences can resurface, affecting current relationships. If unresolved, these wounds can lead to fear of vulnerability, creating an emotional gap that becomes increasingly difficult to bridge. Partners might avoid deep conversations out of a subconscious need to protect themselves from potential pain. Addressing these wounds is vital for breaking the cycle of emotional withdrawal.

By recognizing these common causes of emotional distance, partners can begin the conversation toward healing. Open dialogue provides a platform to discuss unmet needs, reduce stress together, and appreciate each other. 

Understanding Why Relationships Lose Emotional Intimacy

One reason for this loss is the gradual erosion of trust. Trust is the bedrock of intimacy, without it, partners may hesitate to open up, fearing judgment or betrayal. This hesitation slowly creates an emotional void, as sharing personal thoughts and feelings becomes fraught with uncertainty. To restore intimacy, rebuilding trust through consistent actions and open communication is key.

It’s also important to consider the impact of routine. While routines provide stability, they can also lead to complacency. Partners may take each other’s emotional presence for granted, neglecting the need to nourish their emotional connection actively. This results in interactions that become predictable and devoid of passion. Injecting spontaneity and novelty into shared experiences can reignite the emotional spark and make partners feel more connected.

We often underestimate how unresolved issues erode emotional intimacy. Avoidance of conflict can lead issues to fester, eroding the foundation of understanding. When problems aren’t addressed, partners can feel emotionally unsafe, choosing to retreat into themselves rather than confront the discomfort together. Tackling these issues with empathy and patience can fortify emotional resilience, transforming challenges into opportunities for growth.

Additionally, individual growth can impact emotional connection. As people evolve, their desires and values may shift. If partners grow in different directions without involving each other in that journey, it can lead to feelings of alienation. Maintaining intimacy during personal evolutions requires open discussions about changes and how they affect the relationship. This transparency allows partners to align their paths, fostering a dynamic that supports both individual and collective growth.

Finally, technology often plays a role in distancing partners emotionally. Screens can distract partners from genuine connection, turning attention outward instead of inward toward shared emotional spaces. Setting boundaries around technology use can help couples reclaim focus on each other, nurturing intimacy by fully engaging in shared moments.

Rebuilding Emotional Intimacy with Your Partner

When emotional disconnection takes root in a relationship, it can feel like the very essence of your partnership has drifted away. But fear not, rebuilding intimacy is not only possible, it can lead to a more profound connection than ever before.

Effective Strategies to Bridge Emotional Gaps

Recognizing patterns of disconnection is foundational to improving your emotional wellbeing. Start by prioritizing purposeful communication, ensuring both partners feel heard and validated. Open and honest dialogue creates an environment where vulnerabilities can be shared without fear. By scheduling regular check-ins, dedicated times to discuss emotions, you not only normalize sharing your internal world but also allow space for bringing issues into the open, preventing them from festering silently.

Reigniting shared interests and activities serves as a powerful catalyst for emotional attachment. Over time, couples may drift apart in hobbies or interests, contributing to emotional gaps. Reconnecting over activities that once brought you closer helps renew the emotional investment in each other’s lives. Having shared experiences especially of things that are new for both of you provide opportunities for deep connection.

Integrating Rituals of Connection into your daily routine is important. These can be your daily partings and reunions, when you return from work, or a quiet moment after dinner. When you ritualize the time, you are making space for one another regardless of what else is happening. These moments add up to build trust and restore commitment to one another.

Lastly, embrace the power of non-verbal communication, such as a simple touch or a loving glance. Physical affection can transcend words, offering comfort and reassurance where language falls short. A warm embrace, handholding, or even a gentle touch on the shoulder can convey love and understanding, 

Utilizing Professional Support to Enhance Emotional Connections

Professional support can provide the insight and tools necessary to navigate the complexities of emotional intimacy. Often, couples find themselves stuck in cycles of emotional disconnection that seem overwhelming without external guidance. Relationship therapy can act as a safe space to explore these dynamics, offering structured pathways to reconnect emotionally.

Moreover, therapy empowers partners to confront unresolved issues. Emotional disconnection often stems from buried conflicts that are difficult to address without guidance. Therapists facilitate these conversations, reducing blame and promoting healing dialogues. When partners acknowledge and professionally address emotional wounds, it paves the way for healing, enabling them to move forward with a shared understanding.

Additionally, incorporating tools from specific relationship frameworks, like Gottman’s ‘Sound Relationship House’, can be transformative. It provides elements like building love maps, nurturing fondness, and turning towards each other instead of away during conflicts. Applying these structured techniques helps prevent emotional drift and strengthens relational bonds.

By recognizing the signs of emotional disconnection, you’re already taking the first step towards healing. Our research shows that through meaningful dialogue and renewed trust, couples can repair and strengthen their bond. Even when distance has grown, it’s never too late to rebuild closeness and rediscover emotional connection.

We all have a few secrets. Maybe some of us have been known to buy cheap boxed wine and pour it into fancy bottles for neighborhood gatherings. Maybe some of us are spending our evenings wishing our husbands would just shut the F up already. And maybe some of us are really, really worried about our kids’ social standings.

No matter what, we all have something to confess. And this week, the moms are letting it all out. From relationship confessions to airing out their deep fears and struggles, the moms are breaking the dam and letting it all flow. Maybe you’ll find something relatable, or you’ll find something that puts your own worries into a little more perspective. No matter what, know that you aren’t alone with your secrets, your worries, your confessions.

Scary Mommy Confessions are a tried-and-true part of what makes our site so fun. If you want to anonymously confess, look for our weekly callouts on Instagram. And to browse past Confessions, head here.

Halle Berry’s ex-husband David Justice admitted that he questioned whether the Oscar winner was “the woman I want to have kids with” before their 1996 split.

“I was young and I had only, honestly, been in one relationship before her. My knowledge and my understanding, my wisdom around relationships just wasn’t vast,” Justice, 59, explained during an appearance on the “All the Smoke” podcast on Thursday, August 7. “So, I’m looking at my mom and I’m a Midwest guy. So, in my mind, I’m thinking a wife at that time should cook, clean.”

He went on, “Then I’m thinking, ‘OK, if we have kids, is this the woman I want to have kids with and build a family with?’ At that time, as a young guy, she don’t cook, don’t clean, don’t really seem like motherly, and then we start having issues. I’ll say this, we never had any issues about any women, other men.”

Berry, 58, and the former Major League Baseball star got married on New Year’s Day in 1993. According to reports, the couple started dating when Berry saw Justice playing in an MTV celebrity baseball game and slipped her number to a reporter they both knew.

The couple’s whirlwind marriage was constant fodder for the press in the mid 1990s. Berry and Justice separated in February 1996 and ultimately finalized their divorce in June 1997.

During his podcast appearance, the former World Series champion confessed that he had second thoughts about getting engaged to Berry shortly after she “asked me to marry her after knowing me for five months.”

“I said OK, because I couldn’t say no. Who’s going to say no at that time?” Justice recalled. “I don’t know if my heart was really into it, but I didn’t want to make her feel bad and say no, you know, or [if] I was just in the moment.”

Justice acknowledged that his and Berry’s relationship came at the worst possible time because both were building their careers, which meant they spent lots of time apart.

“We honestly probably could have made it if I knew about therapy. If we knew about therapy, we probably could have made it,” he said.

Us Weekly has reached out to Berry’s spokesperson for comment.

Following her relationship with Justice, Berry was married to Eric Benét between 2001 and 2005 and then to Olivier Martinez — with whom she shares son Maceo-Robert — from 2013 to 2016. The Catwoman actress welcomed daughter Nahla Ariela during her five-year relationship with Gabriel Aubry, and has been with musician Van Hunt since 2020.

Hunt revealed during a June 2025 appearance on NBC’s Today that he was still waiting for an answer after proposing to Berry. (The singer-songwriter was married once before, and has a son, but has not publicly disclosed details of that relationship.)

“Well, I’ve been married three times,” she pointed out on Today. “Van has been married once, and so no, we don’t feel like we have to get married to validate our love in any way. We don’t.”

The actress added, “But I think we will get married just because, out of the people I’ve been married to, this is the person I should have married. And I feel like I should, we should get married, but it’s not because we feel like we have to. I think it’s something that we would like to do just because we want that expression.”

Justice and his second wife, Rebecca Villalobo, share three children: David Jr., Dionisio, and Raquel. (The retired MLB player and Villalobo tied the knot in February 2001.)