Mark 10:43-45

There seems to be no small amount of discussion these days about who is supposed to be leading the family, the nation, our churches, etc. And I always find this odd. If we realized what leadership really means, I don’t think we’d have the race to the “front.” Because leadership isn’t about being in the front — it’s being down at the feet, humbly washing.

In Mark 10:43-45 we see a model for true leadership. Leadership isn’t about dominance; it’s about sacrifice so that another can flourish. God’s kingdom comes through serving others, and this directly applies to how husbands lead within their marriage. We are not called to lead by force or control but by sacrificially serving. In whatever capacity God has given you to lead, you are to do it as a servant.

Servant leadership, though, isn’t about a few grand gestures; it’s a daily commitment to dying to self for the sake of another. We are to reflect the heart of Christ, who came “not to be served, but to serve.” A servant leader models Christ. And now we’ve come full-circle. The way we image God rightly in our marriages is by leading as Christ calls us to lead.

Now click here to read Surprising Things the Bible Says about Being a Wife

Related Resource: 7 Character Traits That Create Resilient Relationships

In marriage and relationships, it’s crucial to understand how to build resilient relationships. Resilience isn’t about never facing challenges; it’s about facing them, growing through them, and becoming better because of them. Not everyone who faces hardship in relationships develops resilience; many become bitter and disillusioned. Having been married for 25 years, my husband Shaun and I have faced numerous marriage problems. From infidelity and financial crises to family losses and parenting struggles, we’ve endured it all. If you’ve followed our journey, you know that these challenges have fortified our resilience in profound ways. Listen to this episode of Rebuilding Us as we discuss the seven character traits of building or rebuilding marriages and relationships of resilience. If this episode helps your marriage, be sure to subscribe to The Rebuilding Us Podcast on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/kieferpix

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“As a solid rock is not shaken by the wind, the wise are not shaken by praise or blame.” ~The Dhammapada, Verse 81

Some moments lift you like moonlight. Others break you like a wave. I’ve lived through both—and I’ve come to believe that the way we move through these emotional thresholds defines who we become.

By thresholds, I mean the turning points in our lives—experiences so vivid, painful, or awe-filled that they pull us out of our usual routines and bring us face to face with something real. Some come in silence, others with sound and light, but they all leave a mark. And they ask something of us.

The Night the Frogs Were Singing

Years ago, I was in San Ignacio, Baja California Sur—a small town nestled in the middle of a vast, harsh desert. But this desert hid a secret: a spring-fed river winding quietly through thick reeds and groves of towering palms.

One night, I walked alone along the water. The full moon lit everything in silver. The town was asleep, but the frogs were wide awake—thousands of them—and their voices filled the night.

It sounded like a million. A strong, unstoppable chorus rising into the sky, as if they were singing to the gods in heaven.

Insects danced in the air like sparks. The river shimmered. I stood in the stillness, listening.

And then, something in me lifted.

My breath slowed. My thoughts stopped. I felt unbound—present, light, completely inside the moment.

I felt like I could fly.

Not in fantasy—but in my body. As if for one rare instant, the weight of everything had fallen away. I wasn’t watching the world. I was part of it. Connected to the frogs, the moonlight, the pulse of life itself.

That was a threshold I crossed without knowing. Not a dramatic one, but sacred. A moment of wholeness so complete it continues to echo, years later.

Not All Thresholds Are Joyful

That night by the river was one edge of the spectrum. The other is something far harder.

I recently read about a mother who lost her entire family in the span of a year. Her husband died unexpectedly. Then her son, in a car crash. Then, her only surviving daughter was swept away in the Texas floods.

From a full home to unbearable silence—in just twelve months.

I can’t imagine the depth of that grief. But I recognize it as a threshold too—a point from which there is no going back. Loss like that doesn’t just wound—it transforms. It alters the shape of time and identity. It demands a new way of living.

And it reminds me: thresholds aren’t always moments we choose. Sometimes, they choose us.

The Man in Ermita

I also think of a man I used to see every day on a busy street corner in Ermita, Metro Manila. The intersection was chaotic—taxis, vendors, honking horns, kids weaving through traffic. And there, beside the 7-Eleven, was a man rolling back and forth on a small wooden board with wheels.

He had no legs. His arms were short and deformed. That wooden platform was his only home, his only transportation, his only constant.

He didn’t shout or beg loudly. He just moved. Quietly. Present. Enduring.

And I often wondered: What are thresholds for him? What brings him joy? What pain does he carry that none of us see?

His life taught me something. That some thresholds are lived every single day—without drama, without noise. Some are carved into the body. Into the street. Into the act of continuing on, no matter who notices.

We each live on our own spectrum of experience. And his presence helped me recognize that my own joys and struggles don’t exist in isolation—they live alongside countless others, equally deep, equally human.

The Emotional Spectrum We All Move Through

These three stories—the night of the frogs, the mother’s loss, the man in Ermita—might seem unrelated. But they’re not.

They’re all thresholds.

• One is a threshold of awe.
• One is a threshold of grief.
• One is a threshold of silent resilience.

They represent different points on the same emotional spectrum. And the deeper I reflect, the more I understand that we are all moving along that spectrum—back and forth, again and again.

What Balance Really Means

We’re often told to seek balance. But I don’t think balance means calm neutrality, or avoiding emotional extremes.

To me, balance is the ability to stay grounded while being stretched. To remember joy even in sorrow. To hold stillness even when life is loud. To feel everything—and not shut down.

Wisdom isn’t the absence of intensity. It’s the willingness to stay with whatever life brings—and keep walking.

Writing has been my way of staying grounded.

Therapy helped me find the words. But writing gave me a place to live them. It helps me remember what I’ve felt—and understand what it meant. It’s how I make peace with the past. It’s how I reach forward toward something whole.

When I write, I return to that night in San Ignacio. I also return to the man in Ermita, and to the countless thresholds I’ve passed through quietly—some with joy, some with pain.

Writing helps me stay with what is real, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

An Invitation to You

Maybe you’ve had your own version of that river night—an unexpected moment of beauty or clarity. Or maybe you’re sitting with a threshold you didn’t choose—grief, fear, change, uncertainty. Maybe you’re surviving silently, like the man on the wooden board.

Wherever you are on the spectrum, I want to say this: The thresholds we pass through don’t make us weaker. They shape us. They wake us up. They teach us presence—not perfection—if we choose to stay with our experience, even when it hurts.

If you’re writing, reflecting, or simply breathing through it all—you’re already on the path.

And that path will one day lead you to another threshold somewhere else on the spectrum. So stay open to each transformative moment, and let them shape you into someone more alive, more resilient, and more balanced.

About Tony Collins

Tony Collins is a documentary filmmaker, educator, and writer whose work explores creativity, caregiving, and personal growth. He is the author of: Windows to the Sea—a moving collection of essays on love, loss, and presence. Creative Scholarship—a guide for educators and artists rethinking how creative work is valued. Tony writes to reflect on what matters—and to help others feel less alone.

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Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words that can release you from your past and guide you forward to a positive new beginning. These words are: “From now on…”

So, from now on…

1. Let the things you can’t control GO!

Most things are only a part of your life because you keep thinking about them. Realize this. Positive things will happen in your life when you emotionally distance yourself from the negative things. So stop holding on to what hurts, and make room for what feels right. Do not let what is out of your control interfere with all the things you can control.

2. Accept and embrace reality.

Life is simple on the average day. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. For everything you lose, you gain something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something else. You don’t have to like it, but it’s just easier if you do. So pay attention to your outlook on life. You can either regret or rejoice; it’s your choice.

3. Change your mind.

Change is like breath — it isn’t part of the process, it is the process. In reality the only thing we can count on is change. And the first step toward positive change is to change your outlook. Prepare for the positive. Prepare for progress and the “new.” Allow the unknown to take you to fresh and unforeseen areas in yourself. Growth is impossible without change. If you cannot change your mind, you cannot change anything in your life. Sometimes all you need to do is look at things from a different perspective.

4. Hold tight to the good things.

When life’s daily struggles knock you into a pit so deep you can’t see anything but darkness, don’t waste valuable energy trying to dig your way out. Because if you hastily dig in the dark, you’re likely to head in the wrong direction and only dig the pit deeper. Instead, use what energy you have to reach out and pull something good in with you. For goodness is bright; its radiance will show you which way is up, and illuminate the correct path that will take you there. (Note: Marc and I discuss strategies for living true to these words in the Adversity & Self-Love chapters of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

5. Rest and regroup.

Strength isn’t about bearing a cross of grief or shame. Strength is about choosing your path, living with the consequences, and learning the way on the way. Sometimes you do your best and end up with a mess. When this happens don’t be discouraged. You tried your best. That’s really all you can ever do. You have not failed — you just learned what not to do. So rest, regroup, and begin again with what you now know.

6. Take necessary chances.

Making a big life change or trying something new can be scary. But do you know what’s even scarier? Regret. So realize that most of your fears are much bigger in your mind than they are in reality. You’ll see this for yourself as soon as you face them, so don’t let them stop you. Live your life so that you rarely ever have to regret the chances you never took, the love you never let in, and the gifts you never gave out.

7. Keep climbing.

Every person who is at the top of the mountain did not fall there from the sky. Good things come to those who work for them. You gain confidence and grow stronger by every experience in which you truly push yourself to do something you didn’t think you could do. If you are standing in that place of in-between, unable or unwilling to go backwards, but too afraid to move forward, remember that you can’t enjoy the view in the long run without being willing to climb at least a few small steps every day.

8. Give yourself credit for the lessons learned.

Just because you have struggled does not mean you are incapable. Every success requires some kind of worthy struggle to get there. Give yourself credit for the lessons learned and how far you have come. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a week ago. You’re always learning and growing from your experiences. So use your disappointments and frustrations to motivate you rather than annoy you. Remember, you are in control of the way you respond to life today.

9. Appreciate how every step is necessary.

Almost nothing is 100% wrong in life. We learn from nearly every step we take. Whatever you did earlier today was a necessary step to get to tomorrow. So be proud of yourself and notice your progress. Maybe you are not as good as you want to be, or as great as you one day will be; but thanks to all the lessons you’ve learned along the way, you are so much better than you used to be. (Note: “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts and Reflections to Start Every Day” is a great tool for this kind of daily self-reflection.)

Afterthoughts… on Tragic Endings

Let’s take a moment to address an obvious elephant in the room — the fact that the aforementioned points are infinitely easier said than done when tragedy strikes. For example, when someone you love passes away too soon, that’s undoubtedly one of the most difficult and heartbreaking endings to cope with. Although it takes a lot more time and work, the general principles for coping with this kind of tragic ending are applicable. Let’s visualize this together…

Imagine a person who gave meaning to your life is suddenly no longer in your life (at least not in the flesh), and you’re not the same person without them. You have to change who you are — you’re now a best friend who sits alone, a widow instead of a wife, a dad without a daughter, or a next-door neighbor to someone new. You want life to be the way it was, before death, but it never will be.

Marc and I have dealt with the loss of siblings and best friends to illness, so we know from experience that when you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open. And the bad news is you never completely get over the loss — you will never forget them. However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news.

You see, death is an ending, which is a necessary part of living. And endings are necessary for beauty too — otherwise it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited. Limits illuminate beauty, and death is the definitive limit — a reminder that you need to be aware of this beautiful person or situation, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Death is also a beginning, because while you’ve lost someone special, this ending, like every loss, is a moment of reinvention. Although deeply sad, their passing forces you to reinvent your life, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places. And finally, of course, death is an opportunity to celebrate a person’s life, to be grateful for the priceless beauty they showed you, and to begin again in their honor.

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to make the best of what’s in front of you. So I hope you will have an inspired day today, that you will dream boldly and dangerously, that you will make some progress that didn’t exist before you took action, that you will love and be loved in return, and that you will find the strength to accept and grow from the troubles you can’t change. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and wisdom in this world), that you will, when you must, be wise with your decisions, and that you will always be extra kind to yourself and others.

And please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us. 

(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)

If we have learned just one thing recently, it’s that we need to be gentle with ourselves and others. We’re all in this world together, and we all get weary at times. Be recklessly gracious!

The wisest and most wonderful people you have ever met are likely those who have been shattered in some way. Yes, life often creates the best humans by breaking them first. It’s the painstaking journey of falling apart and coming back together that fills their hearts and minds with a level of compassion, understanding, and deep-loving wisdom that can’t possibly be acquired any other way.

Angel and I have worked with hundreds of these incredible people over the past 15+ years through various forms of coaching and live events. In many cases they came to us feeling stuck and lost, unaware of their own brilliance, blind to the fact that their struggles have strengthened them and given them a resilient upper hand in this crazy world. And many of these people are now our biggest heroes. Over the years they have given us as much, if not more, than we have given them — they continue to be some of our greatest sources of inspiration.

So today, to honor these unlikely heroes of ours, we want to share a selection of their life experiences with you (with full permission of course). Below you will find excerpts from 20 emails and text messages we’ve received over the years — they are super short but incredibly powerful accounts of real life, real struggle, and the human resilience required to take the next step. There’s definitely something here for all of us to think about and reflect on:

1. “It’s been exactly ten years since my controlling, abusive ex-fiancé sold my favorite guitar which cost almost $2,000 and took me ages to save for. He sold it on the day I broke up with him. When I went to pick up my belongings, he was proud that he had sold it to a local pawnshop. Luckily, I managed to track down the guy who bought it from the pawnshop. The guy was really sweet and gave it back to me for free, on the condition that I join him on his front porch for an hour and play guitar with him. He grabbed a second guitar and we ended up sitting there on his porch for the rest of the afternoon playing music, talking, and laughing. He’s been my husband for almost nine years now, and we are happier now than ever.”

2. “The happiest moment of my life is still that split-second a year ago when, as I laid crushed under a 2000-pound car, I realized my husband and nine-year-old son were out of the vehicle and completely uninjured.”

3. “Today, on my 47th birthday, I re-read the death note I wrote on my 27th birthday about two minutes before my girlfriend showed up at my apartment and told me, ‘I’m pregnant.’ She was honestly the only reason I didn’t follow through with it. Suddenly I felt I had something to live for. Today she’s my wife and we’ve been happily married for 19 years. And my daughter, who is now a 19-year-old college student, has two younger brothers. I re-read my death note every year on my birthday as a reminder to be thankful — I’m thankful I got a second chance at life.”

4. “Last night just before bed, my daughter, whom I adopted three years ago at the age of seven, called me ‘mom’ for the very first time.”

5. “It’s been five years since my mom — my best friend in the world — was in a car accident that resulted in her losing all of her long-term memory from before the crash. When I was little my mom and I used to quote a Winnie The Pooh book as an inside joke. One of us would ask, “Have you ever seen a dragon fly?” And the other would reply, ‘I have, I have seen a dragon fly!’ This evening I was sitting with her while we were watching TV and I randomly asked, ‘Have you ever seen a dragon fly?’ And she responded with, ‘I have, I have seen a dragon fly!’ We stared at each other for a prolonged moment, and then she jumped out of her seat and exclaimed, ‘Oh my gosh, I remember!’”

6. “I’m sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both my breasts removed. But in a strange way I feel like the lucky one. Up until now I have had no health problems. I’m a 64-year-old woman in the last room at the end of the hall before the pediatric division of the hospital begins. Over the past few hours I have watched dozens of cancer patients being wheeled by in wheelchairs and rolling beds. None of these patients could be a day older than 17. And right now, I’m feeling like the lucky one.”

7. “My dad is a blind cancer survivor. He lost both his eyes when he was in his early 30’s to a rare form of cancer. Despite this, he raised my sister and I, and took care of my mom who was in and out of rehab for alcoholism and depression. My mom is a fully recovered alcoholic now, my sister and I have graduated college, and my parents are still together and back to being happy. I’m certain none of this would have been possible if my dad hadn’t been such a resilient, positive force in our lives. My dad’s mental strength literally saved our family. And he’s the one who pointed me towards your blog, which he reads daily with text to speech software.”

8. “Earlier this week I went to the doctor’s office because I was experiencing awful stomach pains. They ran some tests, took blood, and told me they’d contact me in a few days. I assumed the pain was at least partially due to stress. Three weeks ago, at the age of 35, my husband, the love of my life, died from a heart attack. And this afternoon I felt another wave of despair come over me, feeling like I had nothing left. As I sat there the phone rang; it was the doctor. She said, ‘You’re perfectly healthy. You’re pregnant.’ And in that moment I cried, happy tears, for the first time three weeks. Because a couple months ago a fertility clinic discovered a condition with my husband that they said would take ‘a small miracle’ for us to get pregnant.”

9. “I’m a war veteran. Upon arriving home 15 years ago from my final tour in Afghanistan, I found out that my wife had been cheating on me and had spent almost all of our savings. I had nowhere to stay and no phone and was suffering from it all. One of my close friends from high school, Shaun, and his wife, seeing that I was in need of help, took me in and let me live with their family of five. They helped me deal with my divorce and gave me space to get my life together. Since then I’ve moved into my own place, rediscovered my passion for life, opened a fairly successful local diner, and my friend’s kids call me Uncle Jay when they see me. The way they supported me and adopted me into their family in my desperate time of need is now the guidepost for how I try to live my life.”

10. “I’ve been dying of Leukemia since my 17th birthday. I was sent home from the hospital for my final few weeks 156 days ago. But now I’m back at the hospital being treated again, because my doctors now believe there is hope. And so do I.”

11. “Today, after my daughter’s funeral, and several hours of tearful soul-searching, I started going through my phone and deleting two weeks’ worth of condolence messages. There were so many of them that I eventually selected ‘delete all,’ but one message didn’t delete. It was one of the last messages my daughter left me before she died, and it was still marked as ‘new.’ Sometimes my voicemail forces me to listen to old messages before I can delete them, so played it, even though I really didn’t want to at that moment. My daughter said, “Hey dad, I just wanted to let you know I’m okay and I’m home now.”

12. “After three years of separation, and lots of regretful drama, my ex-wife and I finally resolved our differences and we met for dinner last night. We laughed and chatted for almost five hours. Then just before we parted ways, she handed me a large envelope. In it were 20 ‘love and forgiveness’ letters she wrote me over the last three years. There was a post-it note on the envelope that read, ‘Letters I was too stubborn to send.’ And even crazier is that I wrote her a few letters too, and I still have them stored on my work computer’s desktop.”

13. “Yesterday, after completing ten straight months of rehab at a live-in treatment center, I spent my first day out with my five-year-old daughter. We sat on my parent’s front porch all day making construction paper collages. The sight and sound of my daughter’s laughter and the simple pleasures of cutting construction paper and peeling Elmer’s glue off our hands are the best reminders I’ve had in ten months of why I’m choosing sobriety and life.”

14. “I was born on this day 57 years ago, but today isn’t my birthday, at least not this year. Your birthday doesn’t really come when you’re sitting in a hospital room hoping your wife of 25 years wakes up from a coma. And although the doctors are optimistic, I’m still here praying, and waiting, patiently.”

15. “Last night there was a family of six staying at the hotel where I work. They were hanging out in the lobby sharing stories, laughing, and taking turns reading excerpts from a joke book. I asked them where they were from. ‘Oh, we’re from here,’ the father said. ‘Our house literally burned down yesterday, but miraculously all of us got out safely. And that makes today a true blessing!’”

16. “I realized that although it was the darkest period of my life, if I had not worked through and overcome those five long years of depression, I would not be here now smiling so appreciatively at the sunrise through my living room window.”

17. “It took years, but when I finally found the courage to divorce him after decades of abuse, I found myself feeling alone because our closest mutual friends continued to believe his lies over my tears. But I’m finally making new friends — real friends — and feeling so much better now.”

18. “I recently lost the respect of a few people I love, and the desire to hurt myself, when I finally told everyone the truth about who I really am and what I have decided to do with my life. In a nutshell, I have chosen to love and honor myself, instead of convincing others to do it for me every day.”

19. “At 8 A.M. this morning, after nearly four months of lifelessness in her hospital bed, we took my mom off life support. And her heart continued beating on its own. And she continued breathing on her own. Then this evening, when I squeezed her hand three times, she squeezed back three times.”

20. “This afternoon, at the age of 70, I graduated from The University of North Carolina with a bachelor’s degree in business. I’ve been a successful business owner most of my life, but I decided to earn my degree to fulfill a promise I made to my mom before she lost her battle with cancer on my 20th birthday, just over 50 years ago.”

Growth Through Life’s Ups and Downs

The stories above obviously hold many lessons, but as mentioned earlier, one lesson I think they collectively share is that life’s challenges don’t just break a person, they can also shape a person…

Challenging times are like strong storms that blow against your soul. And it’s not just that these storms hold you back from places you might otherwise go, they also tear away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn, so that afterward you see yourself as you really are, without all the distractions that have been blinding you. In a very real sense, you are here to endure these storms, to risk your heart — to be bruised by life at times. And when it happens that you are hurt, or rejected, or knocked off course, let yourself remember that life’s challenges are necessary.

In all seasons of life, your goal shouldn’t be to seek a perfect and pain-free existence, but to live an imperfect and sometimes challenging one in radical amazement. To get up every morning and take a good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is extraordinary in its own right. Every day is a gift. To be spiritual in any way is to be amazed in every way.

And it’s important to note, too, that Angel and I don’t just preach. We’ve endured our own pain, crawled through our own strong storms, and learned from firsthand experience many times over. Over the past couple of decades we have dealt with several severe hardships, including the sudden death of a sibling, the loss of a best friend to illness, significant betrayal from a business partner, an unexpected breadwinning employment layoff that forced us out of our home, and more. These experiences were brutal. Each of them knocked us down hard and kept us down for a while. But when our time of mourning was over after each hardship, we pressed forward with a greater understanding and respect for life. (Angel and I discuss our journey and life story more in the books “Getting Back to Happy” and “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to own your life experiences, and to not let life’s bitterness steal your sweetness. Remember, no life story is one chapter long, no chapter tells the whole tale, and no single event entirely defines who you are. Give yourself grace when you must, and keep turning the pages that need to be turned.

But before you go, please leave Angel and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us.

Which tiny story above resonated the most today? Anything else to share?

Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are.” ~Maya Angelou

There was a time in my life when everything felt heavy, like I was constantly carrying around a weight that no one else could see.

I wasn’t in a crisis, exactly. I was functioning, showing up, doing what needed to be done. But inside, I was struggling to stay afloat—trapped in my own head, questioning my worth, and unsure how to move forward.

One evening, I walked into a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class for the first time. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know the rules, the language, or even how to tie the belt on my gi. But I was drawn to it—maybe because I was desperate for something to pull me out of my mental spiral. I needed structure. I needed challenge. I needed escape.

What I didn’t expect was that BJJ would become more than a physical outlet. It became a form of therapy. A place where I could reconnect with my body when my mind felt like a battlefield.

Finding Peace in the Pressure

On the surface, BJJ looks intense—people grappling, sweating, fighting for control. But underneath, it’s a quiet game of survival. You breathe. You adjust. You adapt. You keep going.

There were moments when I would be pinned, completely stuck, with someone twice my size on top of me. I’d panic. My breath would quicken; my thoughts would race. But then I’d hear my coach’s voice in the background: “Slow down. You’re okay. Just breathe.”

That simple instruction saved me more than once—not just on the mat, but in life.

Over time, I started to notice something: I was calmer outside of training. More patient. More aware. Jiu-Jitsu didn’t fix my mental health overnight, but it gave me tools to deal with the days when everything felt like too much.

Losing It… and Finding It Again

Of course, progress isn’t a straight line. After a few years of training, I got injured. Not once—multiple times. Each injury forced me to stop, rest, and reckon with the fear that maybe I wouldn’t return.

Without Jiu-Jitsu, I felt lost again. That familiar darkness crept back in, and I realized how much I had come to rely on the practice to stay grounded. But eventually, I returned. Slower, more cautious, but more appreciative than ever.

I realized it wasn’t about being the best or earning stripes. It was about showing up—for myself.

What I’ve Learned

I used to think healing meant getting rid of pain. Now I understand it’s more about learning to live with it—and learning how to move with it, not against it.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu taught me resilience, yes. But more importantly, it taught me presence. You can’t be stuck in your head when someone’s trying to choke you out. You have to be here, now.

That practice of presence changed how I approached everything else—relationships, work, rest. It helped me become someone who doesn’t give up so easily, even when things get hard.

Why I’m Sharing This

Maybe you’re not into martial arts. Maybe you’ve never set foot in a gym. That’s okay. This isn’t about Jiu-Jitsu—it’s about finding the thing that brings you back to yourself. That reminds you of your strength when you’ve forgotten it.

It could be yoga, running, painting, journaling, hiking, music. It could be therapy. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it helps you come home to yourself.

If you’re going through something right now, I want you to know: You’re not weak for struggling. You’re not broken. And you’re not alone.

Find your mat—whatever that looks like for you. And when you do, keep showing up. You might be surprised at how strong you already are.

About Robert Grover

Robert is a lifelong martial arts student and the founder of Divine Jiu Jitsu, a small mission-driven brand that supports mental health through community and apparel. He trains BJJ in Scotland and believes in the power of presence, pressure, and showing up when it’s hard. Find him on Instagram @Divine_jiujitsu or at divinejiujitsu.com.

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Article created by: Justinas Keturka

Welcome to the unofficial warm blanket of the internet where pandemic stress is put on hold for as long as you’re there and everything looks just a little bit better. The subreddit called r/GetMotivated welcomes you with a soul-soothing “We’re glad you made it.” Because they know how hard it is to escape the harrowing reality of sad, fake, and plain ‘can’t take it no more’ news.

But here, a whopping 17 million members are sharing all things motivation that promise to “help you finally get up and do what you *know* you need to do.” And sometimes it’s all that you need.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight to the land of pure wholesomeness where strangers who share these motivational posts suddenly become your only support group.

In the oceanic tale of Finding Nemo, Dory says it best. Despite setbacks and hardships, she encourages Marlin to “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.” 

We can learn a great deal from the little blue fish with memory loss. This isn’t just a catchy earworm that plays on an endless loop in our heads. It’s a mantra that speaks to perseverance and the power of unabating action. Along with many other famous “keep pushing” quotes, it gives us the strength to persist forward in a more positive direction, no matter what we’re facing. 

Developing this mindset of tenacity helps us to grow, gain confidence and build resilience. But it also allows us to push our perceived limits to continue going after our dreams. It additionally sharpens our self-awareness so we know when it’s time to pivot and redirect our energy toward a different path. 

“Push yourself” quotes give us that gentle nudge we need to keep going. They carry a profound truth: you never know what could be waiting for you on the other side. 

Motivational ‘Keep Pushing Forward’ Quotes to Push Through Anything  

For those times you feel stuck or unmotivated, licensed psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, offers several tips for pushing forward. He says to:

• Take it one day at a time
• Go at your own pace
• Remember it’s not a race. 

He also notes that the mental aspect is half the battle. Reframe your thoughts towards positivity, learn to cope with disappointment and recognize that whatever you’re going through is only temporary. Above all else, Goldsmith urges you to never give up. He says, “Love and prosperity can come in a New York minute, so be ready.”

Motivational quotes to keep pushing provide even more inspiration. They can help you take the next step, whether that’s at work, in relationships or within yourself.

• “Keep your head up. Move forward. Keep going.” —Alex Trebek, The Answer Is… Reflections on My Life

• “If you can’t fly, run; if you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl; but by all means keep moving.” —Martin Luther King Jr.
• “Pushing oneself requires loud, strong self-talk, emphatic and enthusiastic.” —Karl Kuehl, Mental Toughness
• “Whatever happens, I’ll just keep moving forward. Like an avalanche.” —Michelle Phan
• “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” —Sam Levenson, You Don’t Have to Be in Who’s Who to Know What’s What
• “If you’re walking down the right path, and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you will make progress.” —Barack Obama
• “One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals. “ —Michael Korda, Success!
• “When you hear that something can’t be done, ignore that advice and push forward.” —Robert Kiyosaki
• “If I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, it stands to reason that I’m going to get there.” —Rachel Joyce, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry
• “Just keep going. One day, one breath at a time.” —Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Silver Flames

Related: 30 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up

Quotes About Pushing Through Hard Times 

Research shows that up to 70% of people experience positive psychological growth as a result of difficult times. By the same token, this could mean fostering a greater sense of purpose, a greater appreciation for life or an increased capacity for altruism. 

Of course, the moral of the story is that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. After all, good can come from hard times. “Push through” quotes remind us of this truth and persuade us to never back down, even in the face of adversity. 

• “​​There’s a huge value in learning to keep moving forward, and that the next page will be better than the last.” —Charles Forsman
• “The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.” —Robert Frost, “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”
• “When times are down, keep believing, keep working hard and things will pick up.” —Harry Kane 
• “In times of great stress and adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” —Lee Iacocca, Iacocca
• “You can’t reminisce too much. Because you’ve got to keep pushing forward, you know.” —Daniel Caesar
• “If you’re going through hell keep on going, don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it.” —Rodney Atkins, “If You’re Going Through Hell”
• “No matter how much falls on us, we keep plowing ahead. That’s the only way to keep the roads clear.” —Greg Kincaid, A Dog Named Christmas
• “Fall seven times, stand up eight.”  —Japanese Proverb
• “I’ll probably get knocked down a few more times before this life is through with me, but I can guarantee you I’ll never stay on the ground.” —Colleen Hoover, Hopeless

‘Push Your Limits’ Quotes to Follow Your Dreams 

Unfortunately, far too many people give up on their dreams (upwards of 92%, according to Psychology Today) because of factors like: 

• Self-doubt
• Lack of clear goals
• Lack of persistence 
• Fear of failure
• Fear of the unknown 

But, you don’t have to allow yourself to become a statistic. Use the following “push yourself” quotes to drive forward relentlessly and get out of your comfort zone and grow. You may never reach your full potential—in your career, creative pursuits or in life—if you don’t break barriers and transcend your perceived limits.

• “Having limits to push against is how you find out what you can do.” —Sylvie Guillem
• “True masters know that a warrior will never stop learning, never stop pushing boundaries and never stop growing.” —Mark Divine, Unbeatable Mind
• “If you’re not failing, you’re not pushing your limits and if you’re not pushing your limits, you’re not maximizing your potential.” —Ray Dalio
• “Focus on what lights a fire inside of you and use that passion to fill a white space. Don’t be afraid of the challenges, the missteps and the setbacks along the way. What matters is that you keep going.” —Kendra Scott

• “Push yourself to the edge of your limits. That’s how they expand.” —Robin Sharma
• “You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get.” —Michael Phelps
• “How will I know who I can become if I don’t give myself the chance to try new things, to push myself beyond my normal boundaries? Who might I be if I am away from the things that I currently use to define myself?” —Eileen Cook, With Malice
• “You got to push yourself beyond the edges of your confidence, fearlessness and bravery limits so that they can expand.” —Manoj Arora, Dream On
• “If you are the best, you must go that extra mile.” —Conor McGregor
• “When you push yourself, you push doors open to new perspectives, new options, new experiences and ultimately abundant life.” —LaRae Lodes

Related: 17 Motivational Quotes to Help You Achieve Your Dreams

Sayings About Knowing When to Push Harder 

Today, it’s important to know when to push harder. Yet it’s also critical to know when to chart a new course. Being frustrated with your progress, constantly overcoming challenges and struggling with insecurities are all normal parts of the process. But feeling disconnected from your goals, no longer finding joy in the pursuit and causing damage to your own health or relationships could be signs that it’s time to rethink your approach. Sometimes it’s best to begin a fresh chapter with a new plan, new people, new ideas or even in a new place. 

Pivot or push harder quotes can help you to gain clarity and decide which path to take. Use these original sayings from the SUCCESS® team to give you new strength: 

• “The mark of a true winner is that they decided to push harder when everyone around them decided to quit.” 

• “Pivoting doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’re moving one step closer to success.”
• “Learn the difference between being tired from the grind and being burnt out from pursuing the wrong things.” 
• “If it still ignites a fire in you, it’s worth pushing for.” 
• “Are you truly stuck? Or have you reached the calm before the storm of success?” 
• “All the pressures of life are no match for patience and persistence.” 
• “Pushing harder on a locked door won’t get you anywhere. You need to find a different door or start looking for the key.”
• “For those with a strong enough willpower to reach the summit, a steep and rocky path won’t be a deterrent.” 
• “More often than not, when you feel like throwing in the towel, that’s the time to give it all you got.” 

Pushing Forward: The Path to Success

Don’t look back. Look to the future and continue going after your dreams. If you’re going through a rough patch, keep pushing. Unsure of what’s next? Keep pushing. If you’re doubting yourself, keep pushing. In need of a change? Pivot, then keep pushing. 

Remember, endurance and determination are what separate the weak from the strong and the stagnant from the successful. Gain motivation from “keep pushing” quotes and continue placing one foot in front of the other—no matter how slow your progress may seem. 

Photo by Dirima/Shutterstock

A maker mindset and DIY becomes ever more important in times of struggle and conflict, as we’ve reported on Ukraine here, here and here over the last few years. However, while drones and other instruments of war and survival have been front and center in those conversations, Ukrainian artists and makers have been equally busy sharing their experience of the ongoing conflict in imaginative ways, including at four Maker Faires that have been held in the country since the start of the war.

Two of the more monumental efforts to do this have made their way to Black Rock City, Nevada as part of the Burning Man festival in 2024 and 2025. Always a haven for large scale experimental and experiential art, the backdrop of the playa and shifting day/night access provides a globally visible tabula rasa for expressing the powerful sentiments that have accompanied these distinct pieces. In 2024, Ukrainian artist Oleksiy Sai and producer Vitaliy Deynega–who has been involved in Ukraine’s defense since Russia first invaded in 2014 and served in 2023 as Ukraine’s deputy minister of defense for digital transformation–created a massive 23 foot high, 19 ton sculpture assembled from artifacts or war collected from liberated territories. The objects are bullet-riddled street signs, solar panels, satellite dishes, shattered city name signs, and broken fences–all objects of daily life transformed into scrap by years of conflict. Among them are several “pedestrian crossing” and “caution children” signs that represent people killed by Russian bombing while going about their daily lives. Says Deynega of the piece, “If you look at it from a distance, it’s just beautiful and bright, almost toy-like, letters. But when you get a little closer, you can see that their surface elements are covered with damage by Russian missiles, shells and bullets.”

Building on the success of the “I’m Fine” installation at Burning Man 2024, with a team the pair designed and built another monumental installation, which was first installed in Kyiv, called Black Cloud.

The name doesn’t leave much to the imagination — it is both literal and epically more than its initial promise. Black Cloud is a 30-meter-long inflatable storm cloud that flashes with lightning against a nonstop soundscape of real war recordings – missiles, sirens, and explosions. The installation is a powerful metaphor for the experience of threats alive in the world both seen and unseen, with an urgent message: “The storm is coming for you too. Get ready.”

And come it did. Prior to the opening of Burning Man 2025, during whatthe crew and artists who develop the festival call “Build Week” and shortly after the installation of Black Cloud concluded, the dusty ancient lakebed known both geologically and by denizens of Black Rock City as “the playa” served up some truly epic weather, including 50 mile an hour winds. Speaking with The Art Newspaper via satellite from the Black Cloud camp at Burning Man, Deynega says that “a very strong and very sudden wind” came with only a 15-minute warning and broke the structure in half. “It felt like one of your relatives suddenly died.”

The makers responded to the destruction of their art piece with incredible resilience. “Perhaps this storm has taken the threat with it — a quiet hope on Ukraine’s Independence Day (August 24), drifting away on the desert winds,” a statement read from the team of artists. Moreover, they rebuilt. Not the same towering black cloud with all its wild technology of lights, cataclysm of sound, and meters of fabric full of hot air; but, a strong statement nonetheless. Inspired by the line from the 1984 film The Terminator, “There’s no fate but what we make for ourselves” Oleksiy Sai used shreds of the original fabric to compose a huge sign that moved in the desert wind, emphasizing the resilience of the human experience, the choice to resist threat both real and existential and fight them with hope, and the refusal to accept destructive experiences as a life sentence. . Change is possible.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

My grandmother passed away a few years ago after a long battle with cancer. Even as her health deteriorated, she never lost her spirit. She’d still get excited about whether the Pittsburgh Steelers might finally have a decent season after Ben Roethlisberger’s retirement. She’d debate the Pirates’ chances with the kind of passionate optimism that only comes from decades of loyal disappointment.

But what I remember most are the afternoons she’d spend napping in her favorite chair with my son curled up against her. He’d drift off clutching some random object, like a wooden spoon or random toy from my parent’s basement. She’d just smile and close her eyes too. Even when she was tired, even when the treatments were wearing her down, she found joy in those stolen moments.

In her final years, she lived with my parents, but she brought her faith with her.

Her rosary beads found new homes on nightstands and windowsills. Her worn Bible sat open on the end table, bookmarked with a picture of her husband. The little curio cabinet filled with angels followed her too, a portable shrine to stubborn hope. Wherever she was, the air around her carried that same indefinable quality that I later realized was simply peace.

My grandmother had the kind of faith that could part emotional storms with a single glance. She didn’t need to preach it. She lived it. You could feel her belief before you even stepped through the front door. She believed in prayer, in miracles, in second chances. In the Steelers. And in Diet Pepsi.

After she was gone, I expected to feel completely untethered. Instead, I discovered something surprising. Things seemed to hold together. The sadness was real and deep, but underneath it was something solid. A foundation I’d never realized she’d built in me.

My mother always said I “lived with my head in the clouds,” and it wasn’t until after Grandma passed that I understood where that came from. While I was raised in the Catholic church and spent years as an altar boy, my faith had always been fuzzier than hers. Less certain. More questions than answers.

But it was there, hidden under the surface, because of her. I’d been benefiting from her quiet influence in ways I never fully understood or appreciated until she was gone. Her faith hadn’t just surrounded me. It had somehow taken root in me, even when I wasn’t paying attention.

Learning to Recognize What Was Already There

The months after her death weren’t filled with the existential crisis I expected. Instead, I found myself noticing things. How I naturally looked for the good in difficult situations. How I held onto hope even when logic suggested otherwise. How I moved through the world with a kind of quiet optimism that I’d never really examined before.

I was still a professional overthinker, still a card-carrying worrier. But underneath all that mental noise was something steadier. Something that whispered, “This too shall pass,” even when I wasn’t consciously thinking it.

It took time to understand that this wasn’t something I needed to build from scratch. Grandma hadn’t just modeled faith for me; she’d been quietly cultivating it in me all along. Through her example, through her presence, through those countless afternoons when she’d choose hope over fear, even when the odds were stacked against her health and her beloved sports teams.

Discovering My Own Messy Version

What I came to realize was that my faith was never going to look like Grandma’s. Hers was rooted in tradition, in ritual, in the comfort of centuries-old prayers. Mine was more scattered, cobbled together from different sources and experiences.

My faith, I discovered, is held together with hope, a healthy dose of skepticism, and about six different kinds of sticky notes. It’s not the neat, organized kind. It’s more like a spiritual junk drawer full of useful things, but you’re never quite sure where anything is.

I believe in second chances and fresh starts. I believe in the power of afternoon sun to reset your entire day. I believe that kindness is contagious and that sometimes the universe sends you exactly what you need, even if it arrives late, confused, and covered in cat hair.

Some days, my faith is a whisper: “Maybe things will get better. Maybe I’m not alone. Maybe I can try again tomorrow.” Other days, it’s louder: “This is hard, but I can handle hard things. I’ve done it before.”

My faith doesn’t look like Grandma’s, but it carries her DNA. It’s messier, less certain, but it has the same stubborn core, a refusal to give up hope, even when hope seems foolish.

The Science of Belief

Here’s what I wish I’d known during those dark months: You don’t have to be religious to benefit from faith. Science shows that belief in something greater than yourself can be a powerful tool for mental and emotional well-being.

Faith literally reduces stress. Studies show that people who report a strong sense of meaning or spiritual belief have lower levels of cortisol, the hormone associated with stress. Translation? Faith helps your brain pump the brakes on panic.

It improves emotional regulation by activating the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which helps you pause before spiraling. It builds psychological resilience by reminding you that you’re not at the center of every catastrophe. Whether you believe in God, the universe, karma, or cosmic duct tape, faith acts as a buffer against hopelessness.

Acts of spiritual reflection can trigger the same brain regions involved in feelings of safety and joy. And faith often leads to rituals or conversations with others, building the connections that are crucial for well-being.

Here’s the kicker: You don’t have to get it right. Wobbly faith counts. Uncertain, whispered-in-a-closet faith is still valid. Half-hearted “Okay, Universe, I trust you… kinda” mutterings are welcome here.

The Power of Micro-Faith

Big transformations feel great in theory but hard in practice. That’s why I’ve learned to embrace what I call “micro-faith,” these small, digestible moments of intentional belief. Like appetizers for your spirit.

Today, try believing in something small:

• The possibility of a good cup of coffee
• The strength hiding inside your own weird little heart
• The fact that what you need might already be on its way
• The idea that this difficult season won’t last forever
• The chance that tomorrow might feel a little lighter

Faith doesn’t have to be grand or glowing. Sometimes it’s just showing up anyway, even when you’re not sure why.

What Grandma Taught Me

Years later, I realize Grandma didn’t just give me faith; she showed me how to live it. She taught me that faith isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about trusting that you’ll find your way, even in the dark.

She taught me that belief can be quiet and still be powerful. That faith isn’t a destination but a traveling companion. That sometimes the most profound act of faith is simply getting up and trying again.

Most importantly, she taught me that faith isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up. Showing up to your life, to your relationships, to your own healing, even when you feel completely unprepared.

I carry pieces of her faith with me now, mixed in with my own messy, imperfect beliefs. Some days I feel like I’m floating through life with my head in the clouds. But thanks to Grandma, and a whole lot of trial and error, I’ve learned to float up here without getting totally fried by the sun.

If your faith feels fractured, fuzzy, or faint, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just human. Faith isn’t a finish line. It’s a floating device. It won’t always steer you straight, but it might keep you above water long enough to find the shore.

So go ahead and believe in something today. Even if it’s just the idea that the clouds will eventually clear… and the coffee won’t taste burnt this time.

About Jason Hall

Jason Hall is a writer, mental wellness advocate, and professional overthinker who believes in the power of imperfect faith, a well-timed joke, and the occasional snack-fueled epiphany. He writes about finding light in the messy middle of life and the small, stubborn joys that help us float through. You can find him at chilltheduckout.com, where he shares stories about stress, hope, growth, and how to chill the duck out one microjoy at a time.

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