Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.

“Life hasn’t been the easiest on me lately. I won’t get into all the details now, but the tough times I’ve been living through have left me with many cracks. And although I’ve still managed to be a reasonably successful person, on most days I struggle desperately with my self-confidence. I just don’t feel good enough. I feel flawed. I feel like my cracks make me undesirable…”

Those are the opening lines of an email I received recently from a new reader of our blog. I’m sharing that excerpt today, with permission, because Marc and I have spoken to hundreds of other readers, clients, and live event attendees over the past 15 years who struggle in a very similar way. In fact, almost all of us struggle with not feeling “good enough” at various points throughout our lives.

If you can relate right now — if today is one of those days — it’s time for a quick wake-up call and story about life:

We all have a few cracks.

Once upon a time there was an elderly woman who needed to walk down to the river every morning to fetch water for drinking, cooking and cleaning. She carried two buckets with her, filled them up at the riverbank, and walked back with them to her rural cottage home.

One of the buckets was newer, perfectly sealed, and held its water flawlessly. But the second bucket was older and contained a few thin cracks that would leak water onto the ground as the elderly woman walked. By the time she arrived home, typically about one third of the water in the second bucket had leaked through its cracks.

One day, on the walk down to the river, the cracked bucket — who had always felt like it wasn’t as good as the other bucket – said to the elderly woman, “I want you to know that I’ve been leaking water every morning for the past several years. I’m so sorry for being cracked and making your life more difficult. I understand if you need to replace me with a better bucket.”

The elderly woman smiled. “Do you really think I haven’t known about your cracks this whole time?” she asked. “Look at all the beautiful flowers that grow on the path from my cottage to the river. I planted their seeds, but every morning it’s you who does the watering.”

Remember:

Feeling good enough in life, in work, in business, and in our relationships has everything to do with how we personally judge the cracks in our own bucket. Because we all have a few cracks!

But are they cracks that wreck us, that taint us, and that ruin our experience and desirability?

Or do our cracks water a trail of flowers we haven’t even stopped to appreciate?

Let this be your wake-up call!

Choose to see the flowers through the cracks in your own bucket — choose to see how it’s exactly those cracks that make you good enough — and your whole universe will shift!

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to take a deep breath when you need one. Sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel less than “good enough.” If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, house, and so forth by a certain age or time frame, we assume we’re flawed — cracked! Again, Marc and I hear about this kind of self-defeating mindset from our clients, our students, and our readers/subscribers on a daily basis, and we aren’t immune either. Feeling good enough takes practice.

It’s time to practice!

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this short story/essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

When I was a high school freshman, a 260-pound freshman girl showed up for track and field tryouts right alongside me. Her name was Sara, and she was only there because her doctor said her health depended on it. But once she scanned the crowd of students who were on the field, she turned around and began walking away. Coach O’Leary saw her, jogged over, and turned her back around.

“I’m not thin enough for this sport!” Sara declared. “And I’ll never be! It’s impossible for me to lose enough weight. I’ve tried.”

Coach O’Leary nodded and promised Sara that her body type wasn’t suited for her current weight. “It’s suited for 220 pounds,” he said.

Sara looked confused. “Most people tell me I need to lose 130 pounds,” she replied. “But you think I only need to lose 40?”

Coach O’Leary nodded again.

Sara started off as a shot put competitor, but spent every single afternoon running and training with the rest of the track team. She was very competitive, and by the end of our freshman year she was down to 219 pounds. She also won 2nd place in the countywide shot put tournament that year. Three years later, during our senior year, she won 3rd place in the 10K county run. Her competitive weight at the time was 132 pounds.

There was a time when Sara was convinced that it was impossible to lose weight because, in her past experience, it had never worked out the way she had hoped. She had failed a few times and eventually lost confidence in herself. But with consistency — with the right daily habits and a willingness to try again — she rebuilt her self-confidence and ultimately achieved the “impossible.” And when Sara showed up to my poolside birthday party in Miami recently, I smiled when I overheard another guest compliment her on her physique.

Of course, Sara still works really hard — she chooses wisely — every single day to maintain what she has achieved.

And so do I…

I fail and lose my self-confidence sometimes too.

Some people get this idea about me, because I’m a New York Times bestselling author and coach who has spent the past 15+ years writing and teaching people how to create more success and happiness in their lives, that I don’t ever fall short and fail miserably in these areas. But of course I do — I’m human. I fall short and fail at things far more than anyone could imagine, and certainly far more than I’d often like to admit. And it feels just as horrible for me as it does for you or anyone else — I absolutely lose confidence in myself sometimes.

Deep down of course, I know these negative reactions aren’t helpful. So I own up to what happened, learn a lesson or two, and then I get back up to try again. And the final part is the most important part — the trying again…

• I fail at eating healthy and exercising sometimes, but I try again.
• I fail at loving myself sometimes, but I don’t give up on myself either, and so I try again.
• I fail at being a great mom and wife sometimes, especially when I get distracted with stressful business endeavors, but I keep trying, and oftentimes I invoke a fresh smile on my son’s or husband’s face.
• I even failed at writing the article you’re reading now. I made an initial attempt yesterday and scrapped it because it didn’t feel right. But I started again, and now I’m done.

Bottom line: When we try again and again, we often succeed and feel much better about ourselves in the long run.

So if there’s only one thing you take away from this essay, let it be that trying again — choosing to give yourself another chance every day — is always worth it. Because that’s honestly the foundation of the following three points, which Marc and I directly attribute to our own success and personal growth (and the success of the 700+ incredible coaching clients we’ve worked with over the past 15+ years)…

1. Evaluate your daily habits and the results you’re getting.

Regardless of your unique talents, knowledge, life circumstances, or how you personally define success, you don’t suddenly become successful. You become successful over time based on your willingness to try again and again — to create daily habits and routines that amass gradual progress, through thick and thin.

So what do your daily habits and routines look like?

You really have to sort this out and get consistent with what’s right for you on a daily basis. Because failure in life occurs in the same way — it’s gradual. All your little daily failures (those that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail big. Think in terms of running a business:

• You keep failing to check the books.
• You keep failing to make the calls.
• You keep failing to listen to your customers.
• You keep failing to innovate.
• You keep failing to do the little things that need to be done.

Then one day you wake up and your whole business has failed. It was all the little things you did or didn’t do on a daily basis — your habits — not just one inexplicable, catastrophic event.

The key thing to realize is that your life is your “business!”

Too often people overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making good choices and small steps of progress on a daily basis. Don’t be one of them!

Keep reminding yourself that almost all of the results in your life — positive and negative alike — are the product of many small decisions made over time. The little things you do every day, truly matter!

2. Stop thinking about your goals so often, and start focusing on the daily habits that support them.

The concept of taking it one day at a time, one step at a time, might seem ridiculously obvious, but at some point we all get caught up in the moment and find ourselves yearning for instant gratification. We want what we want, and we want it now! And this yearning often tricks us into taking on too much too soon. Marc and I have seen this transpire hundreds of times over the years: a coaching client or course student wants to achieve a big goal (or three) all at once, and can’t choose just one or two daily habits to focus on, so nothing worthwhile ever gets done, and gradually they lose more and more confidence in themselves. Let this common mistake — this quick-fix mentality — be your wake-up call today.

You really can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, yet you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Small, repeated, incremental efforts will get you there. It doesn’t happen in an instant, but it does happen a lot faster than not getting there at all.

Do your best to consciously shift your daily focus away from the big goals you want to achieve in your life, and redirect your focus toward the little daily habits that actually support those goals. Consider the following:

• If you’re a competitive athlete, your goal is to win sports competitions. Your habit is the time you dedicate each day to training your body (and mind).
• If you’re a university student, your goal is to learn and earn a degree. Your habit is your daily study routine.
• If you’re a parent or guardian, your goal is to be a great role model. Your habit is the time and energy you commit to setting a good example each day.
• If you’re a human being, your goal is to live a meaningful life. Your habits are the small, positive steps forward you take every day.

Now consider what would happen if you stopped focusing on one of your big goals for a while and instead focused exclusively on your corresponding daily habit. Would you still make progress? For example, if you were trying to lose weight and you stopped thinking about your goal to lose twenty pounds, and instead placed all of your focus on eating healthy and exercising every day, would you still lose weight? Yes! Gradually you would get closer to your goal — your target weight — without even thinking about it again.

And if you mess up occasionally?

You own up to it, you forgive yourself, and you try again.

One day at a time, one step at a time.

3. Leverage small victories to rebuild your self-confidence.

Rebuilding and maintaining your self-confidence is arguably the most significant hidden benefit of consistently practicing a daily habit — of trying again and again to make progress. In fact, what I lacked before I learned to implement these kinds of daily habits was the confidence that I was actually capable of achieving the positive results I desired in my life. I had tried so many quick fixes in the past that ended in failure, and had grown so discouraged in myself, that I began subconsciously choosing procrastination over future attempts to fulfill the little promises I made to myself.

In essence, I lost confidence in both my abilities and myself. It’s kind of like another person constantly lying to you — eventually you stop trusting them. The same holds true with the little promises you make to yourself that always end in disappointment. Eventually, you stop trusting yourself.

And the solution in most cases is the same too: you have to rebuild your self-confidence and trust gradually, with small promises, small steps (your daily habits), and small victories. Again, this process takes time, but it happens if you stick to it. And it’s undoubtedly one of the most life-changing things you can do for yourself.

(Note: Marc and I build a foundational habit of positive self-reflection with our readers through daily journaling in “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts & Reflections to Start Every Day”.)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to renew your self-confidence… by trying again with the right daily habits.

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.

“Life hasn’t been the easiest on me lately. I won’t get into all the details now, but the tough times I’ve been living through have left me with many cracks. And although I’ve still managed to be a reasonably successful person, on most days I struggle desperately with my self-confidence. I just don’t feel good enough. I feel flawed. I feel like my cracks make me undesirable…”

Those are the opening lines of an email I received recently from a new reader of our blog. I’m sharing that excerpt today, with permission, because Marc and I have spoken to hundreds of other readers, clients, and live event attendees over the past 15 years who struggle in a very similar way. In fact, almost all of us struggle with not feeling “good enough” at various points throughout our lives.

If you can relate right now — if today is one of those days — it’s time for a quick wake-up call and story about life:

We all have a few cracks.

Once upon a time there was an elderly woman who needed to walk down to the river every morning to fetch water for drinking, cooking and cleaning. She carried two buckets with her, filled them up at the riverbank, and walked back with them to her rural cottage home.

One of the buckets was newer, perfectly sealed, and held its water flawlessly. But the second bucket was older and contained a few thin cracks that would leak water onto the ground as the elderly woman walked. By the time she arrived home, typically about one third of the water in the second bucket had leaked through its cracks.

One day, on the walk down to the river, the cracked bucket — who had always felt like it wasn’t as good as the other bucket – said to the elderly woman, “I want you to know that I’ve been leaking water every morning for the past several years. I’m so sorry for being cracked and making your life more difficult. I understand if you need to replace me with a better bucket.”

The elderly woman smiled. “Do you really think I haven’t known about your cracks this whole time?” she asked. “Look at all the beautiful flowers that grow on the path from my cottage to the river. I planted their seeds, but every morning it’s you who does the watering.”

Remember:

Feeling good enough in life, in work, in business, and in our relationships has everything to do with how we personally judge the cracks in our own bucket. Because we all have a few cracks!

But are they cracks that wreck us, that taint us, and that ruin our experience and desirability?

Or do our cracks water a trail of flowers we haven’t even stopped to appreciate?

Let this be your wake-up call!

Choose to see the flowers through the cracks in your own bucket — choose to see how it’s exactly those cracks that make you good enough — and your whole universe will shift!

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to take a deep breath when you need one. Sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel less than “good enough.” If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, house, and so forth by a certain age or time frame, we assume we’re flawed — cracked! Again, Marc and I hear about this kind of self-defeating mindset from our clients, our students, and our readers/subscribers on a daily basis, and we aren’t immune either. Feeling good enough takes consistent practice.

It’s time to practice!

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this short story/essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Have you ever made a decision, only to immediately question whether it was the right one? I just forgot how to spell the word “Cheers” after including it in a congratulatory statement in a post online today. Then I said to myself why do I doubt if the spelling was wrong or correct? Second-guessing is caused by fear of failure, low self-confidence, overthinking, perfectionism, and social comparison. It often stems from anxiety about making the wrong choice.

While some degree of self-reflection can be beneficial, excessive second-guessing can lead to anxiety, indecision, and even missed opportunities.

So why do we do it? And how can we manage it effectively?

Why Do You Second-Guess Yourself?

Don’t say no, I am confident if you are reading this, you might have searched for it.

At its core, second-guessing is a defense mechanism meant to help us make thoughtful choices. However, when taken to the extreme, it can hold you back. Here are some of the key reasons we tend to second-guess our decisions, believe me, I related to these reasons as well.

1. Fear of Failure

One of the biggest drivers of second-guessing is the fear of making a mistake. When the stakes are high, we worry about the consequences of a wrong decision, which can lead to hesitation and self-doubt.

2. Low Self-Esteem

People who struggle with self-worth often question their judgment. They may attribute negative outcomes to personal failings rather than external factors, making them more prone to second-guessing.

3. Perfectionism

The desire to make flawless choices can be paralyzing. Perfectionists tend to overanalyze their decisions, constantly searching for an option that is “better,” even when their initial choice is already good.

4. Social Comparison

When we compare our decisions to those of others—especially in an age of social media—uncertainty creeps in. Seeing someone else make a different choice can make us doubt whether we’ve chosen the right path.

5. Overthinking

Replaying different scenarios in our minds can make us feel trapped in a loop of doubt. The more we analyze, the harder it becomes to trust our initial judgment.

6. Lack of Clarity

When information is incomplete or ambiguous, it naturally leads to uncertainty. Without clear facts or guidelines, it’s easy to second-guess our choices.

When Can Second-Guessing Be Beneficial?

Not all second-guessing is bad. In fact, some level of self-reflection can be helpful in making well-rounded decisions. Here’s when it can work in your favor:

1. Critical Reflection

A moderate amount of second-guessing allows us to identify potential flaws in our decisions. It gives us a chance to course-correct before it’s too late.

2. Considering Alternative Perspectives

Taking the time to weigh different options can help us make informed choices rather than acting on impulse. It encourages critical thinking and problem-solving.

How to Manage Excessive Second-Guessing

While some second-guessing is useful, too much of it can be paralyzing. Here’s how to keep it in check:

1. Identify the Source

Understanding why you second-guess yourself is the first step to managing it. Is it rooted in fear? Perfectionism? A lack of information? Identifying triggers can help you break the cycle.

2. Focus on the Decision-Making Process

Instead of fixating on whether your choice was “perfect,” remind yourself of the factors you considered when making it. If you made a thoughtful decision based on the best information available, trust it.

3. Build Self-Confidence

Regularly remind yourself of past successes and the times when your decisions turned out well. Self-affirmations and positive reinforcement can strengthen your belief in your own judgment.

4. Seek Support

If second-guessing is affecting your well-being, talking to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist can provide reassurance and a fresh perspective. Sometimes, an outside opinion can help you see that your choice is more than reasonable.

Final Thoughts

Second-guessing is a natural part of decision-making, but when it becomes excessive, it can hinder progress and create unnecessary stress. By understanding its root causes and adopting strategies to manage it, we can move forward with confidence and clarity.

So the next time you find yourself doubting a decision, take a step back, trust yourself, and remind yourself that no choice is ever completely risk-free—but growth comes from learning, not from fear. Stay tuned to Age and Wealth

When I was a high school freshman, a 260-pound freshman girl showed up for track and field tryouts right alongside me. Her name was Sara, and she was only there because her doctor said her health depended on it. But once she scanned the crowd of students who were on the field, she turned around and began walking away. Coach O’Leary saw her, jogged over, and turned her back around.

“I’m not thin enough for this sport!” Sara declared. “And I’ll never be! It’s impossible for me to lose enough weight. I’ve tried.”

Coach O’Leary nodded and promised Sara that her body type wasn’t suited for her current weight. “It’s suited for 220 pounds,” he said.

Sara looked confused. “Most people tell me I need to lose 130 pounds,” she replied. “But you think I only need to lose 40?”

Coach O’Leary nodded again.

Sara started off as a shot put competitor, but spent every single afternoon running and training with the rest of the track team. She was very competitive, and by the end of our freshman year she was down to 219 pounds. She also won 2nd place in the countywide shot put tournament that year. Three years later, during our senior year, she won 3rd place in the 10K county run. Her competitive weight at the time was 132 pounds.

There was a time when Sara was convinced that it was impossible to lose weight because, in her past experience, it had never worked out the way she had hoped. She had failed a few times and eventually lost faith in herself. But with consistency — with the right daily habits and willingness to try again — she rebuilt her faith and confidence, and ultimately achieved the “impossible.” And when Sara showed up to my poolside birthday party in Miami recently, I smiled when I overheard another guest compliment her on her bathing suit and physique.

Of course, Sara still works really hard — she chooses wisely — every single day to maintain what she has achieved.

And so do I…

I fail and lose my faith sometimes too. (We all do.)

Some people get this idea about me, because I’m a New York Times bestselling author and coach who has spent the past 16 years writing and teaching people how to create more success and happiness in their lives, that I don’t ever fall short and fail miserably in these areas. But of course I do — I’m human. I fall short and fail at things far more than anyone could imagine, and certainly far more than I’d often like to admit. And it feels just as horrible for me as it does for you or anyone else — I absolutely lose faith in myself sometimes.

Deep down of course, I know these negative reactions aren’t helpful. So I own up to what happened, learn a lesson or two, and then I get back up to try again. And the final part is the most important part — the trying again…

• I fail at eating healthy and exercising sometimes, but I try again.
• I fail at loving myself sometimes, but I don’t give up on myself either, and so I try again.
• I fail at being a great mom and wife sometimes, especially when I get distracted with stressful business endeavors, but I keep trying, and oftentimes I invoke a fresh smile on my son’s or husband’s face.
• I even failed at writing the article you’re reading now. I made an initial attempt yesterday and scrapped it because it didn’t feel right. But I started again, and now I’m done.

Bottom line: When we try again and again, we often succeed and feel much better about ourselves in the long run.

So if there’s only one thing you take away from this essay, let it be that trying again — choosing to give yourself another chance every day — is always worth it. Because that’s honestly the foundation of the following three points, which Marc and I directly attribute to our own long-term success (and to the success of the 700+ incredible coaching clients we’ve worked with over the past 16 years)…

1. Evaluate your daily habits and the results you’re currently getting.

Many of the most meaningful results you will ever achieve in your life — the milestones, the relationships, the love, the lessons — come from the little things you do repeatedly, every single day.

Regardless of your unique talents, knowledge, life circumstances, or how you personally define success, you don’t suddenly become successful. You become successful over time based on your willingness to try again and again — to create little daily habits that amass gradual progress, through thick and thin.

So what do your little daily habits look like?

You really have to sort this out and get consistent with what’s right for you on a daily basis. Because failure occurs in the same way — it’s gradual. All your little daily failures (those that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail big. Think in terms of running a business:

• You keep failing to check the books.
• You keep failing to make the calls.
• You keep failing to listen to your customers.
• You keep failing to innovate.
• You keep failing to do the little things that need to be done.

Then one day you wake up and your whole business has failed. It was all the little things you did or didn’t do on a daily basis — your habits — not just one inexplicable, catastrophic event.

Now, think about how this relates to your life: your life is your “business!”

Too often people overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making good choices and small steps of progress on a daily basis. Don’t be one of them!

Keep reminding yourself that almost all of the results in your life — positive and negative alike — are the product of many small decisions made over time. The little things you do today, and tomorrow, and the next day, truly matter!

2. Stop thinking about your goals, and start focusing on the recurring daily habits that support them.

The concept of taking it one day at a time, one step at a time, might seem ridiculously obvious, but at some point we all get caught up in the moment and find ourselves yearning for instant gratification. We want what we want, and we want it now! And this yearning often tricks us into taking on too much too soon. Marc and I have seen this transpire hundreds of times over the years: a coaching client or course student wants to achieve a big goal (or three) all at once, and can’t choose just one or two daily habits to focus on, so nothing worthwhile ever gets done, and gradually they lose more and more faith in themselves. Let this common mistake — this quick-fix mentality — be your wake-up call today.

You really can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, yet you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Small, repeated, incremental efforts will get you there. It doesn’t happen in an instant, but it does happen a lot faster than not getting there at all.

Do your best to consciously shift your daily focus away from the big goals you want to achieve in your life, and redirect your focus toward the little daily habits that actually support those goals. Consider the following:

• If you’re a competitive athlete, your goal is to win sports competitions. Your habit is the time you dedicate each day to training your body (and mind).
• If you’re a university student, your goal is to learn and earn a degree. Your habit is your daily study routine.
• If you’re a parent or guardian, your goal is to be a great role model. Your habit is the time and energy you commit to setting a good example each day.
• If you’re a human being, your goal is to live a meaningful life. Your habits are the small, positive steps forward you take every day.

Now consider what would happen if you stopped focusing on one of your big goals for a while and instead focused exclusively on your corresponding daily habit. Would you still make progress? For example, if you were trying to lose weight and you stopped thinking about your goal to lose twenty pounds, and instead placed all of your focus on eating healthy and exercising every day, would you still lose weight? Yes, without a doubt! Gradually you would get closer to your goal — your target weight — without even thinking about it again.

And if you mess up occasionally?

You own up to it, you forgive yourself, and you try again.

One day at a time, one step at a time.

3. Leverage small victories to rebuild your faith and confidence.

Rebuilding and maintaining your inner faith and self-confidence is arguably the most significant hidden benefit of consistently practicing a daily habit — of trying again and again to make progress. In fact, what I lacked before I learned to implement these kinds of daily habits was the faith that I was actually capable of achieving the positive results I desired in my life. I had tried so many quick fixes in the past that ended in failure, and had grown so discouraged in myself, that I began subconsciously choosing procrastination over future attempts to fulfill the little promises I made to myself.

In essence, I lost faith in both my ability and myself. It’s kind of like another person constantly lying to you — eventually you stop trusting them. The same holds true with the little promises you make to yourself that always end in disappointment. Eventually, you stop trusting yourself.

And the solution in most cases is the same too: you have to rebuild your faith and trust gradually, with small promises, small steps (your daily habits), and small victories. Again, this process takes time, but it happens if you stick to it. And it’s undoubtedly one of the most life-changing things you can do for yourself.

(Note: Marc and I build a foundational habit of positive self-reflection with our readers through daily journaling in “The Good Morning Journal: Powerful Prompts & Reflections to Start Every Day”.)

Now it’s your turn…

Yes, it’s your turn to try again with the right daily habits. Because, once more, if you diligently take small positive steps day after day, one day you’ll look back with gratitude for how far you’ve come, and you’ll move forward with renewed faith and confidence in both yourself and your long-term goals.

But before you go, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this essay. Your feedback is important to us.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.