[ad_2]

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
Today: a server who makes $45,000 per year and who spends some of her money this week on a dry sheet mask from Ulta (she added it to her cart so she could get free shipping for her face wash).

Occupation: Server
Industry: Service industry
Age: 30
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
Salary: $45,000
Assets: Checking: $2,588.54; savings: $4,000.88; brokerage account: $65,000 (from my parents, given to me when I was 25). I have an undisclosed amount of Bitcoin in a Coinbase account (more than the brokerage), several pieces of Cartier jewelry that would probably hold their value if I had to sell them, and I own my own car but have been driving it since 2013, so it is worth very little.
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (2x/Month): $900-$2,000
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: My half of $1,800 rent (I live with a roommate in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom. Water is included, so it fluctuates by $50 or so per month).
Loan Payments: $0
Phone: $40
Internet: $60
Electricity: $227 this month (summer in Florida. I live on the second floor of a 40-year-old wooden structure).
Hello Fresh: ~$60 for two meals a month.
Streaming Services: $35.45 (I split some subscriptions with my brother).
Frame.io: $15 (for video editing work).
Apple & Google Storage: ~$5

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
There was definitely an expectation to go to college. I chose a college based on how much money they gave me in scholarships. I wanted to owe my parents as little as possible. I wanted to study marine biology and move out of my home state, so I only applied to coastal schools. My tuition was fully paid for through scholarships that the school gave me. My parents gave me an account of $35,000 when I graduated high school and that was basically the extra money I had to live on throughout college, although my parents paid for my dorm housing and meal plan the first two years. I worked in a marine bio lab all four years, but it was for career experience more than the very small amount of money I earned. Halfway through my undergraduate degree, I applied for and won a nationally competitive marine biology scholarship. It was enough to pay for my living expenses for the rest of college. After undergrad, I attended a PhD program for environmental/cultural anthropology for a year. It was fully funded, and I paid for living expenses through being a teaching assistant and doing private admissions test tutoring. My PhD program wasn’t what I thought it would be and I became disillusioned with academia, so I dropped out. The rest of my twenties were a very circuitous adventure. At the age of 30, I am running up against some pretty persistent depression and really evaluating what my values and goals are at this point in my life.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
Although my dad made a decent amount of money in the finance industry, he emphasized that I would be expected to pay my own way as an adult. I went to a private Christian school and we watched Dave Ramsey videos in class. That was my financial education, and although both myself and my parents use credit cards, I still probably derive a lot of my money habits from Dave Ramsey. It works fine as a money philosophy for personal finances. Hasn’t steered me wrong, anyway.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
The summer after I graduated high school, I worked as a teaching assistant at a sailing day camp on a lake in Tennessee. Best summer of my life. I got the job because I wanted to keep going to the camp but I’d aged out of being a camper, so being a teaching assistant was the next logical step.
Did you worry about money growing up?
No. I was privileged. Really privileged. When I was 10 we went on vacation to Hawaii and England in one year. I learned how to ski at Deer Valley and Steamboat Springs. Then 2008 hit and my parents had to downsize their house, and it caused a lot of tension in the household. But at the end of the day, we always had more than enough money.
Do you worry about money now?
Yeah, kinda. But since I am secretly sitting on a lot of emergency cash in accounts that are under my name, I don’t ever really worry about money. I just don’t want to fuck up and have to use my brokerage account or Coinbase account for some kind of preventable money emergency.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Since age 20, when I won a big scholarship. I started paying for my own housing and living expenses after that. While my parents expect me to take care of myself, I know they would step in if I had an emergency.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My dad handed over brokerage accounts totaling about $60,000 to my younger brother and me when we were 25 and 22 respectively. It was money he’d invested in some sort of tax-free inheritance account. I think it is supposed to be our inheritance from him: He said it was to pay for my wedding, a graduate degree, a down payment on a house, or whatever expenses I’d need as a young person. I’ve been sitting on it so far. I have held onto my Bitcoin money throughout years of ups and downs, and the result is that now my Coinbase account is my biggest asset. HODL.

Day One: Monday

10 a.m. — I wake up to my alarm, lol, and wake my boyfriend B. shortly after. I am hungover from going to drag queen bingo at a tiki bar last night and then drinking at my boyfriend’s bar until he closed at 1 a.m. I drop an Alka-Seltzer tab into a water bottle to nurse myself back to health. Today is a day off for both of us, and we are driving two hours to Orlando to pick up two new foster birds for the parrot rescue I am associated with. This is quite early for my bartender boyfriend. I hurry to throw our dishes from the day before into the dishwasher while he is getting dressed. We listen to folk music on the drive, starting with “Judy Blue Eyes” by Crosby, Stills, and Nash. B. sleeps most of the drive. I stop at Smoothie King and grab us two Strawberry Hulks (plus a vitamin shot, since I have been murdering my immune system with alcohol this weekend) and some chili lime protein chips because I am curious if they resemble Takis in any way (they do, I would recommend). $28.70

11:30 a.m. — The twenty-dollar bill I shelled out for cheap gas near my place of work this weekend is not going to get us to Orlando and back, so I stop at a relatively cheap gas station outside of Orlando to fill up. $48.64

1 p.m. — We stop at the home of a long-time parrot rescue foster lady, who gives me a motherly hug as I step through her door. She immediately introduces me and B. to our new little fosters, two Pacific parrotlets, the smallest species of parrot. They are brother and sister, and the girl weighs less than an ounce. Their current foster mom is getting her house remodeled this summer, so she needs someone to take them for a few months. They are too cute. 

3 p.m. — When we get home we struggle to get the brother bird into his cage because he runs and hides under the TV stand. Turns out their flight feathers are clipped so instead of flying up high to get away from us he hides like a hamster. B. and I give up trying to get him and watch the Ahsoka TV show on the couch until little man comes out of hiding. I put a little play stand on the floor with some seeds and sure enough he explores it, and then starts climbing the charging cables at the base of my TV stand. He’s climbing on my ancient Wii remotes when I’m finally able to pick him up. I have in mind to do a bunch of chores but all I do is get my sheets in the wash. I have a king-sized bed with a white duvet cover, so I am able to use a little bleach to keep it fresh. I have to haul my laundry to my apartment laundry room and pay for it, ew. $3

7 p.m. — B. and I both have a craft beer given to me for my birthday by our favorite beer bar, then B. is like, “We need to eat,” so we make a quick reservation at a nice Italian place where he used to work. I was too busy organizing the new bird toys to notice the time so I don’t get a chance to shower before dinner. Just spray on a bunch of perfume, this 30-year-old bottle of YSL Paris that my mom gave me. It smells very ’80s. We kind of feel like celebrities rocking up to the restaurant. The manager was at the host stand and gave us both big hugs, and something like three servers came over and talked to us. One of the things I admire about B. is that he is a mega extrovert and knows people everywhere we go. We have dirty martinis and our favorite dish on the menu: short rib agnolotti. It’s decadent. We finish off the meal with a glass of Sicilian red wine. I try to pay to thank B. for wrangling the bird cages and taking a four-hour road trip but he venmos me half the tab. $109.84

11 p.m. — We hop over to a bar we’ve never tried before. It is camping themed (???), but super super cute. As I had hoped, they have a toasted-marshmallow cocktail. Our friends get off work and come over and we ended up doing a shotski of Rumple Mintz. Zingy. B. pays for drinks. After that, we meet up with like the whole back of house of the Italian restaurant at our favorite late-night haunt. They have food but I am still stuffed from dinner so we just got more drinks, which I purchase. I fly too close to the sun by drinking a Bee’s Knees which is basically all gin. Next thing you know I fall and skin my knee like a child. I do not remember the car ride home. I don’t even remember that we rewatched the first episode of Foundation until the next day. B. throws my sheets in the dryer while the episode plays. $27.88

Daily Total: $218.06

Day Two: Tuesday

12 p.m. — After waking up I water the herbs on my balcony, play with the birds, eat a bagel and cream cheese, make tea, play with the birds some more, and doom scroll. I cancel Netflix even though I think they already charged me for the month last night. There isn’t anything I feel like watching on there right now. 

3 p.m. — B. is way too snuggly so I get back in bed with him after chugging water and the next thing you know it is 3 p.m. During our bed snuggle time we were on our phones and sometimes I was reading my book, Speaker For The Dead by Orson Scott Card. I try explaining the plot to B. At one point I go and get my new girl bird and brought her into my room. I basically just stare at her and tell her she’s the cutest and most beautiful animal I have ever seen, because it’s true. Bird adoration time. B. and I keep falling back asleep and I dream that Hunter Schafer was my roommate’s best friend and that they were telling me I was doing a bad job of keeping the house clean. My guilty conscience speaking through Hunter Schafer dreams?? I have a roommate, and I am pretty sure she is out of town this week because I haven’t seen her in days. She is the program coordinator for the nonprofit that one of my college friends founded. 

7:30 pm — I buy a new face wash on Ulta because I am almost out. I also buy a sheet mask to get free shipping. Found a coupon code to get $3 off. I eat vitamins and take my medicine like 12 hours late. I am Prozac currently. Also birth control. I am very calm on Prozac but unfortunately I also don’t feel like doing anything. I am content to stare at a wall. It’s kind of disturbing. $41.24

10 p.m. — I take a shower and have leftover agnolotti and tom yum-flavored instant ramen for dinner in bed. I read more Speaker for the Dead, which is turning into a seriously interesting book. 

Daily Total: $41.24

Day Three: Wednesday

10 a.m. — I get up and drive down to Sarasota for a mentorship job I have through my friend’s nonprofit. I am mentoring the summer media intern. I help her troubleshoot in the editing software and give notes on her work.

2 p.m. — I feel really down today and I have for a few weeks — my mom is going through a hard time — so I decide to clear my schedule in the evening and take mushrooms. I’ve had them in my bedside table for almost a year now and I want to use them before they expire. When I get home I make lunch for me and my birds. We sit together on the couch and eat. I literally just make rice with soy sauce and drink a glass of milk. Better to take shrooms on a relatively empty stomach. I have “chop” for the birds, which is a mix of grains, nuts, fruits, and vegetables that is finely chopped up and kept in the freezer for storage. I eat my shrooms, mixing them with hot water, lemon juice, and chopped fresh ginger root to make a tea. I keep watching Andor and the shrooms start hitting right at the final episode. Oh my god.

8 p.m. — I keep having to pause the show to ponder. It’s storming outside, and when the rain quiets down I decide to open my balcony door and sit in the thick humidity. I eat more mushrooms, making this witches’ brew of mushrooms, ginger, lemon, apple cider vinegar, a splash of olive oil, chili powder, the flavor packets from tom yum ramen, and a clove of raw garlic. In my heavy-tripping state, the taste is glorious. It’s like the most flavorful thing I have ever tasted. I’m making a spicy savory brew every time I want to eat shrooms from now on. I go full Boo Radley and quietly sit on my porch, hoping no one sees me and knows I’m high. I sip my brew, feel the swirl of the weather, and look at the tiny herb sprouts in the pots on my porch. Then I go back inside and finish Andor and start Rogue One, and boy, I’m really feeling the plight of the Rebel Alliance. I was locked in. I have a headache once I come down, but I drink some water and try to relax my jaw.

Daily Total: $0

Day Four: Thursday

12 p.m. — I have a protein bar and a glass of milk for breakfast. I take a shower and call my mom while I finish getting ready for work. 

4 p.m. — I go to work at the restaurant. I clock in at 4 p.m. and go to get my work shirt from the storage room. (They dry clean our uniform shirts). They serve us “family meal” in the hour before the restaurant opens. Today’s is really good, actually, pasta with a creamy mushroom sauce (lol) and meatballs. While the restaurant is slow, I drink a cup of English breakfast tea from the coffee station. 

7 p.m. — It’s B.’s day off, so he comes in and eats dinner at the bar while I am working. We actually get fairly busy for a Thursday night, and I make okay money: $194 in credit card tips and $75 cash. I estimate about $65 in hourly pay, bringing me to $334 gross pay for the day.

11 pm – B. has befriended one of the bartenders and we go out with him and his girlfriend after I get off work. We head out to what I honestly think of as a pretty bland sports bar, but our friends want to play darts and they have $4 draft beers. I have a Yuengling. I suck at darts. I’m better if I’ve had more to drink. I’m still pretty exhausted from the shroom trip, so I am basically falling asleep after two games. It’s almost 2 a.m. anyways so I convince B. to drive us home. B. paid for drinks tonight.

Daily Total: $0.00

Day Five: Friday

12 p.m. — B. and I sleep in until noon, as is our habit. We get up and start playing with the birds. I am determined to see if any of them want to be friends with each other. So far no luck. I snuggle with one of the shyer birds until he gets fed up and flies away. B. wants to watch Starship Troopers, which I describe as “like Ender’s Game but worse.” I mean to do chores but I am way too distracted by the movie. 

1 p.m. — We have Lucky Charms for breakfast. B. snacks on goldfish and I eat a Nutty Buddy bar. We have a pretty unhealthy diet, I’ll admit it. 

3 p.m. — I start falling asleep on his lap until he reminds me that it’s 3 p.m. and I need to get ready for work. I wash my hair. I usually wash it about twice a week, sometimes three times. It’s used to that amount of washing. I rock up to work with my hair still wet, and see my coworker doing the same thing as we walk through the door. “Wet hair gang,” I say.

4 p.m. — I forgot that I left my makeup bag in my bathroom cabinet instead of my work bag, so no makeup for me tonight. Family meal is just fried chicken and fries, not even a salad today, which is pretty disappointing. I have two drum sticks and a glass of root beer since everyone freaking took the fries before I had a chance to grab any. I’m in a good section tonight, even though we are fully in slow season here in St. Pete. Winter is where we make all our money; the snowbirds are down at their winter houses and they have the real money. They all leave to go back up north around April, when it becomes hot again. In June it is unbelievably hot and humid, and also stormy in the evenings, so people are less likely to come out to eat. Still, I made $265.44 credit card tips and $60 cash, with around $70 in hourly, so a total of $395.55 for the night.

11 p.m. — I am super hungry after work so I go to my favorite late-night spot and get fish dip. I don’t like hanging out at bars alone so I get the food to go along with some corn dog nuggets for B. I drink a pint of Guinness while I wait for the food, and I do end up seeing people from two different restaurants that I know. Small city! I go to B.’s bar to drop off his food and hang out for a bit. It is popping off of course, and I sit next to this super drunk couple that keeps giving me and B. weird compliments. I drink a gin and tonic. B. pays. $43.99

2 a.m. – I get home and eat fish dip in bed while watching a makeup tutorial on YouTube. I put on my French pharmacy retinol tonight because it has this heinous texture (like vaseline) and I don’t want to get it all over B. when he sleeps over (it’s the A313 pomade, it’s inexpensive and it works, but the texture sucks). B. is closing down the bar at 3 a.m. tonight so I know he’ll sleep at his place. 

Daily Total: $43.99

Day Six: Saturday

12 p.m. — I wake up at, you guessed it, noon again (although I have been randomly waking up between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m. the past few nights and I just watch YouTube until I fall back asleep). I get up and play with the birds, thawing out more chop for them and replenishing their supply of seeds and pellets as well. I make myself some chai tea from this huge bag of loose tea that my friend brought me from India, and I have some oatmeal. I haul two weeks’ worth of laundry to the apartment laundry room and start a couple of loads. It’s $1.50 per load of wash or dryer, except for the front loading washers, which are $1.75. $9.50

4 p.m. — I am a little bit late for work because I was FaceTiming with a friend and lost track of time. Luckily no one says anything. The family meal is interesting… a salad plus brats and some kind of unidentified meat (roast beef?) in spicy sauce. Towards the end of my shift the kitchen gives me a piece of grilled sourdough and some meatballs, and my server coworker shares some lamb chops with me. I made $242 credit and $45 cash. With about $70 in hourly, that comes to $357 for the night.

11 p.m. — I head over to B.’s bar after work and drink a Surfside (B. pays). It’s very busy in there so I finish the can quickly. I wander through the crowded dance floor and out to the backyard, where to my delight I see a food truck with spam musubi on the menu. I’m still full from my meatball and lamb chop feast, but I really want to try their musubi, so I get it to go. I head home and am in bed around 12:30 a.m. Despite closing the bar, B. comes over at like 4 a.m. and startles me awake (I sense a 6’5” figure standing over me in my sleep and it spooks me). We stay up chatting for about an hour and then fall back asleep. $5

Daily Total: $14.50

Day Seven: Sunday

11 a.m. — B. and I wake up “early” and go get brunch with my friends. We go to my favorite spot and get a table outside. One of our friends is super late, so I end up having a spicy Bloody Mary after my boozy coffee while waiting for my eggs, sausage, and toast. I pay for B. and me with a hundred-dollar bill that I traded in for change with another server last night. $93

8 p.m. — B. and I end up going home and watching Fight Club before he has to leave for work. I fold my laundry while we watch. After B. leaves I call my dad (it’s Father’s Day, but he lives out of state), and clean my apartment. I tidy up and do a deep vacuum. I drink two craft beers from my fridge while vacuuming and by the time I’m done I get a snapchat of B. at work from one of my friends. I end up putting fun makeup on (hot pink shadow and winged eyeliner) and heading out. B. takes my car to work so I order an Uber. $16.90

10:30 p.m. — I eat my spam musubi while waiting for the Uber. It’s amazing. It’s a friend’s birthday and we all end up getting pretty drunk and go get drinks and dance at the gay bar across the street. By the time B. gets off work it’s around 3 a.m., and we head to drop off the bar’s cash at the bank and get late-night pizza and cheesecake (B. pays). I think we ended up watching Star Wars: Episode IV while eating pizza when we got home. B. carries me to bed. $34

Daily Total: $143.90

The Breakdown

Weekly Total $$ Spent: $461.69
Food & Drink: $342.41
Entertainment: $0
Home & Health: $12.50
Clothes & Beauty $41.24
Transportation $65.54
Other $0.00

Conclusion

“My conclusions are 1. My income-to-spending ratio is better than I thought, at least this past week, and 2. I drink a lot. I think I’ve been drinking more than usual the past few weeks because I have some family issues going on. But still. I can’t be crashing out regularly.”

Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more Money Diaries, click here.

We’ve updated our Money Diaries submission process: You can now submit your Money Diary via our online form or by sending us a bit of information about you and your financial situation to moneydiary@refinery29.com. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.

Prior to submitting your Money Diary, please read and consider Refinery29’s Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Submission of your Money Diary does not guarantee publication by Refinery29. Should your Money Diary be selected for publication, Refinery29 may, in its sole discretion, elect to pay you a fee, subject to such further terms and conditions as Refinery29 may deem necessary. Money Diaries that are not published are not entitled to receive any payment. Refinery29 will not remove Money Diaries once published. By submitting your Money Diary to Refinery29, you agree to abide and be bound by the applicable Terms of Use and Privacy Policy linked above. All submissions need to be original to the author (i.e., no AI contributions).

Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here or email us here.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

A Week In Brooklyn On A $166,000 Salary

A Week In Willamette Valley, OR On $140,000

A Week In Minneapolis On A $187,000 Joint Income

[ad_2]

When you work in the service industry, you get used to certain comments. But sometimes, a customer says something so out of pocket, it catches even the most seasoned workers off guard.

That’s what happened to former Ojos Locos worker Maria (@ookaymaria), who shared a storytime that’s racked up over 1.1 million views on TikTok.

Former Ojos Locos worker shares uncomfortable interaction

Maria says she worked at Ojos Locos for about a year before quitting four months ago. During her time there, she came across all types of customers, but one interaction still sticks with her.

“There was this one specific guy who was in his 40s,” she begins. “He came in on a regular busy night… ordered his food, beer, tipped, and left.”

At first, he barely spoke. But the following Tuesday, he may have gotten too comfortable. 

“He asked for me specifically,” Maria says, adding that Tuesday is “lingerie day” at Ojos Locos. 

“He was much more talkative this time,” she recalls. “We chatted for a little bit.”

But then, his daughter walked in.  “He blurted out—I wish I was joking—‘Oh yeah, I told my 13-year-old daughter you were my girlfriend,’” Maria says.

She stood there stunned. “We didn’t talk at all the first time… and then the second time, he’s that comfortable? I thought he was gonna follow it with ‘LOL, JK’… but he didn’t.”

Harassment like this isn’t uncommon in restaurants

For women working in the service industry, uncomfortable comments are hardly unusual.

A 2021 report from the One Fair Wage organization found that more than 70% of women restaurant workers have experienced some form of harassment at work.

It also showed that harassment increased during the pandemic, when tips were already more unpredictable than ever.

When behavior like this gets shrugged off, it becomes even harder for servers to speak up or feel safe. And in jobs where tips pay the bills, it’s often easier to laugh things off than risk upsetting a customer.”

Some viewers focused on the substantial tip the man left.

“$40 tip hmm I would’ve been like, ‘40 is all your girlfriend gets?’” one person joked.

“Those guys live in a fantasy world,” another wrote. “Dating a random girl they fantasize about out of nowhere.”

Some were a little too excited. “Go to Ojos on Tuesday,” someone wrote, accompanied by a note-taking emoji.

But others warned that Maria’s experience is all too common. “Ojos Locos is a dangerous spot,” one person commented. “You mostly deal with men who are older and get little action. You just doing your job gets misconstrued.”

@ookaymaria another story #storytime #ojoslocos #relatable #fyp ♬ original sound – MARIA

The Mary Sue has reached out to Maria via Instagram and TikTok messages. We’ve also contacted Ojos Locos via a contact form on their website. 

Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

Ljeonida Mulabazi

Ljeonida is a reporter and writer with a degree in journalism and communications from the University of Tirana in her native Albania. She has a particular interest in all things digital marketing; she considers herself a copywriter, content producer, SEO specialist, and passionate marketer. Ljeonida is based in Tbilisi, Georgia, and her work can also be found at the Daily Dot.

[ad_2]