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Thursday, May 9, 2024

Six Top Tips to Deal With a Gray Divorce


No doubt, divorce is difficult at any age, and unfortunately, the rate of gray divorces has significantly increased since the 1990s. To clarify, the term “gray divorce” was first coined by The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) and refers to divorces involving couples 50 years or older. 

Recent surveys from the U.S. Census Department show that at least 34.9% of all Americans who got divorced in 2020/2021 were in the 55-year and older age group. The study further highlighted that this is twice the rate of all the other age groups surveyed. Furthermore, divorces at this age are often tougher because they may involve splitting up more complex assets. This post takes a look at a few top tips to deal with this process and the consequences. 

1. Create a Support Network

If you were married for a considerable amount of time, chances are your partner was your support network. As hard as it may seem, building a new support network is vital. Experts advise joining a gray divorce support group that can put you in touch with other people going through a similar experience. 

A support network can help you with tips and guidelines needed to rebuild your life. Your network may even be able to recommend a few of the best dating sites for over 50s that you could join when you’re ready to put yourself out there again! 

2. Prioritize Self-Care

Going through a divorce can leave you feeling depressed, anxious, and in no mood to maintain your previous self-care routines. However, taking the time to maintain or increase your self-care is an excellent way to boost your psychological and general well-being. This is vital to make the best of your future. 

A few of the best ways to improve your emotional well-being during this transition period can include:

  • Proper nutrition
  • Exercise
  • Meditation
  • Adequate sleep

3. Create a New Routine

Divorce often equals a disruption of everything in your life, including your daily routine. Creating a new routine is key to maintaining stability and structure during this period. A new routine is also the most effective way to regain a sense of control. 

If you’re not working, your day may seem very empty. In this instance, it’s necessary to take up new hobbies and activities that will give your life a new purpose. Be sure to include time with other family members or friends on some of your days so you don’t become isolated. This isn’t the time to be moping around alone at home. 

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4. Recreate Your Identity

For many gray divorcees, their identity was defined by being Mr or Mrs X for the majority of their adult lives. That means when they are no longer defined by that title and position, it becomes easy to feel as though they have lost their identity. 

To avoid this, it’s essential to rediscover who you are and who you want to be and make note of the things that bring you joy. This starts with making a conscious effort to maintain a positive outlook on your new life. It’s important to remember that your life isn’t over. It has merely changed course. You are, in fact, starting a new chapter that you can fill with personal growth any way you like. 

5. Assess Your New Financial Situation

As we’ve already mentioned, gray divorces are often more difficult as a result of the financial implications. This involves splitting assets, joint retirement funds, and even shared investments. 

Be sure to disclose all your financial information to your attorney to avoid potential issues down the line. Don’t enter into any negotiations about your financial future without your lawyer present. This will ensure that decisions are made with your best interest in mind rather than being based on emotion or sentiment.  

6. Consult a Professional

It can be very difficult to cope with the emotional aftermath of a gray divorce. That said, many experts recommend that both parties should consider consulting a therapist or life coach to assist with the process. 

For one thing, this is the best way to learn how to process and cope with new and overwhelming emotions. Also, it can provide you with the guidance needed to develop and nurture strategies to move forward.

Wrapping Up

Going through a gray divorce can derail your current life arrangement for the period that it takes to finalize the whole process. It’s important to use some expert tips to ensure that you don’t become too overwhelmed by the situation. Not only should you handle the process with a “one-day-at-a-time” approach, but you should also know that you can find happiness and fulfillment later in life!

Feature Image by Al Elmes | Unsplash


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